Subject: [FFML] [Ranma][old] Rob Bob's Last Call: "Her" (final installment)
From: "The Eternal Lost Lurker" <EternalLostLurker@worldnet.att.net>
Date: 5/14/1998, 7:15 AM
To:

(Back to Rob Bob's Last Call, and "Her"...)

	Akane's been kicked out of the dojo, Ranma's a permanent girl now,
and the whole gang is going to mix it up in one month at the dojo.
We're gettin' down to the nitty-gritty here, folks. From here on out,
no more interruptions from me until the end of the fic. 
	So now they're gonna start gettin' ready for this big fight, and as
usual, someone's just got to play dirty. I don't think I need to tell
you where *that* leads. 
	Also we have another little treat in this part...are you ready for
Okonomiyaki Acchan? Akane cooking okonomiyaki...I think I'd want to
get as far away from *that* as possible.
	Well anyway, it's all right here in the dramatic final part of
"Her", and I'll be back after the fic to wrap things up...

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P  A  R  T    F  O  U  R  :  R  E  S  O  L  U  T  I  O  N
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 Akane and Ukyou woke up to the annoyingly loud sound of their alarm 
clock. Akane groaned. "Is it your turn or mine Ucchan?"
 "Your turn Acchan. I'm too tired to blink."
 Akane yawned, then reached over and grabbed the large spatula next
to 
her futon. The alarm clock shut off abruptly as its innards were 
scattered by a massive blow. Akane put her spatula back down and went

back to sleep. "Nothing better than the snooze feature," Ukyou
chuckled, 
then fell back asleep.
 About an hour later, they finally dragged themselves out of bed and
went 
through their morning routine. Ready to face the day, they went 
downstairs. "Okay Acchan, let's see what you've got."
 Akane nodded, and fired up the grill. Ukyou observed carefully as 
Akane's hands whirred into motion, whipping up the batter, oiling the

grill, and flipping a rapidly cooking okonomiyaki. In almost no time,

Akane flipped the cooked okonomiyaki onto a plate and handed it to
Ukyou, 
smiling.
 "Wow, 75 seconds. Not bad." Ukyou took a bite of the okonomiyaki and

smiled. "Wow, and it tastes pretty good!" Akane beamed. "You're
getting 
better by the day, Acchan!"
 "Thanks Ucchan!"
 "After breakfast we'll practice for about an hour. It's pretty late
this 
morning so we'll have to rush if we want to get in that practice time
and 
still be ready for the lunch rush." Akane nodded. Ukyou smiled. "And
then 
after that, I'm going to teach you a more complicated recipe, and how
to 
make...the sauce." Akane gaped. "Really, Ucchan?" Ukyou nodded. Akane

jumped up and down, excited. Ukyou grinned. They ate a couple of 
okonomiyakis, and then moved out onto the floor. A wooden screen had
been 
set up in front of the doorway and across the windows. The tables
were 
stacked along one wall of the shop. When the restaurant wasn't open,
they 
used the floor of the dining area as their training hall. Akane
checked 
her gear; everything was in place. She smiled, she was getting the
hang 
of this and she loved it. 
 "Ready to start, Acchan?" Akane nodded, drawing her spatula. It was 
basically identical to Ukyou's, except it had blue tape wrapped
around 
the handle. She also wore an okonomiyaki seller's outfit now, like 
Ukyou's, except hers was yellow instead of blue. She wore the same
tight 
black pants.
 Ukyou twirled her spatula, then darted in and took a swing. Akane 
deflected, and brought the handle of her own spatula around to strike

Ukyou in the elbow. Gritting her teeth, Ukyou tried for a pancake
toss 
swing. Akane stopped the spatula with her own, then slid hers
underneath 
Ukyou's and flipped upward. Ukyou was hit in the face with her own 
spatula. "Okay, time to turn up the heat," she said. She took a few
steps 
back, and readied four throwing spatulas. Akane took a defensive
stance, 
spatula at the ready. Ukyou threw the spatulas. Two clanged against 
Akane's spatula. She sidestepped one of the others, and jumped over
the 
last one. Still in the air, she whipped out four of her own throwing 
spatulas and sent them flying toward Ukyou. Ukyou swatted them in the
air,
 taking three completely down, but one was deflected toward her knee
and 
struck. She dropped down a bit, sucking in a sharp breath. She
quickly 
stood, and attacked again with her spatula. They kept this up for
almost 
an hour.
 When they were done, Ukyou grinned. "You're really good at this, 
Acchan!"
 Akane smiled. "Thanks, Ucchan! I had no idea this would be so much 
fun!"
 Ukyou thought about that, and smiled. "Yeah, it is a lot of fun. Not

many people can fight with cooking utensils." Both of them giggled,
then 
started moving the tables around and pulling back the screen. After 
washing up a little upstairs, they opened the restaurant.
 A little before the start of the lunch rush, Tsubasa walked in.
Simply 
walked in. No disguises, and he wasn't crossdressing. "Tsubasa!"
Ukyou 
said, mildly surprised. 
 "Hello, Ukyou-sa..san." He noticed Akane, and blinked. Twice.
"Akane?"
 Akane nodded, and giggled. Tsubasa shook his head. "Man, maybe I
better 
go back on vacation."
 "You went on a vacation?"
 Tsubasa nodded. "After that incident in the park that day, I decided
I 
needed to get away from Nerima for a little while. Took a little
cruise 
to China, very relaxing. I actually got used to normal clothes." He 
grinned.
 Ukyou and Akane blinked. "So, no more crossdressing? No more
disguises?"
 "Nope. Well, the disguises aren't totally gone, I mean it's a handy 
talent, if you want to spy on someone or something. But I'll usually
be 
dressed like this from now on." 
 Ukyou and Akane both smiled. "That's great, Tsubasa!"
 "Yeah, looks like my timing couldn't have been better."
 "How so?"
 "Well, the thought of being whapped and hearing 'Tsubasa no baka!'
in 
stereo is enough to make me feel sick." He shuddered. Ukyou and Akane

bust out laughing. They filled him in about the challenge which would

take place in three weeks. When they were done, he nodded, a serious 
expression on his face. "To be honest, I don't know whether to wish
you 
luck, or to hope you fail. All I can say is whatever happens, I'll be

here for you if you need me."
 Ukyou actually smiled. "Thanks Tsubasa. I never thought I'd say
this, 
but that really means a lot to me."

 Ranma sat on the roof, watching the sunset. Ryouga sat down beside
her, 
and she snuggled up to him. "Two weeks until the big fight," she
said. 
 "Yeah. I guess there's just no way to talk Akane out of this. Or the

others."
 Ranma nodded, and sighed. "I'm not mad at them anymore though. Not
like 
I was that day they jumped us in the park."
 "Yeah, me either. I mean, it'd be nice if they'd listen to reason,
but 
they're only doing this because they believe it's right." Ryouga
closed 
his eyes for a second.
 Ranma sighed again. "I know, and that's why I'm not mad at them. You

really can't justify holding a grudge against someone just because 
they're fighting for something they believe in."
 "How very mature of you two! I'm so proud!"
 Ranma and Ryouga turned to find Nodoka and Kasumi had come up behind

them on the roof. "Hi Mom! Hi Kasumi!" Ranma smiled at them as they
sat 
down beside her and Ryouga. "What brings you two up here?"
 "The same thing that brings you here, dear." Nodoka pointed at the
sun 
sinking below the horizon. 
 "It's so beautiful," Kasumi said. 
 They watched for a few minutes. They'd been sitting there a little
while 
when someone waved to them from down in the yard. Ranma and Ryouga
stood 
and jumped down. The brown-haired boy standing there walked up to
them.
 "Hi Ranma, Ryouga." They stared at him blankly for a few seconds. 
"Who..." Then Ranma recognized him. "Tsubasa?"
 Tsubasa nodded. "I just came by to wish you two well and offer the
same 
support I'm offering the others."
 Ranma blinked. "Thanks Tsubasa! I figured you'd side with Ukyou."
 Tsubasa shook his head and sighed. "I'm not going to take sides in
this. 
Something tells me that they're wrong, and you really have become a
girl, 
but then again they might be right, and after the fight you'll be
back to 
normal. I don't know. I'm just going to watch and wait. Oh, by the
way...
I will tell you that Akane has gotten a lot better. She might
actually be 
hard for you to beat."
 Ranma blinked. "Thanks for the tip. I don't get why you're telling
us 
this though."
 Tsubasa smiled. "Mainly that's an apology for going along with
Nabiki's 
plan to screw up Ryouga's date that one night." He waved goodbye and
left.

 Ryouga shook his head. "I can't get over Tsubasa acting normal. It's

almost too scary."
 Ranma nodded, then yawned. "We better get some rest. Don't forget
that 
tomorrow I'm going to start teaching you the kachuu tenshin
amaguriken 
technique." Ryouga nodded. Ranma leaned up and kissed him, then they
went 
inside.

 Tsubasa went completely unnoticed disguised as an abandoned yatai as
he 
watched Shampoo practicing with Cologne. 
 "Alright, granddaughter, are you ready?"
 "Aiyah! Shampoo ready!"
 "Very well then." Cologne lit the small campfire she'd built, and
dumped 
a bag of sweet chestnuts into it. "Go!"
 Tsubasa timed Shampoo as she plucked all the chestnuts out of the
fire. 
3 seconds. Not bad. She might be a match for Ranma.
 "Very good, child!"
 "With speed of amaguriken technique, Shampoo have a chance at
beating 
Ranma if something go wrong and he manage to turn girl-type."
 Hmm...Tsubasa thought for a minute. If they were counting on keeping

Ranma in his male form, he thought, they needed to take that koi pond
the 
Tendous have into consideration. Tsubasa had no idea that Ranma could
no 
longer be turned into a male at all.
 Shampoo yelped as the old wreck of a yatai that sat in the corner of
the 
lot moved toward them. "Aiyah! What that!?"
 Cologne turned, and smirked. "We're being watched." 
 "Don't be alarmed." Tsubasa emerged from the yatai. 
 Shampoo breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, it you Tsubasa. No do that 
again! You almost give Shampoo heart attack!"
 "Sorry about that. I just wanted to see how the training was coming 
along. 3 seconds on the chestnut fist. Not bad."
 "Shampoo make sure she fast as Ranma!"
 Tsubasa nodded. "You're holding this fight at the dojo right?"
Shampoo 
nodded. "And your plan is to keep Ranma from turning into a girl
during 
the fight if at all possible, correct?" Shampoo nodded again. "Okay,
did 
anyone ever think about the koi pond in the Tendou's yard?"
 "Aiyah! Shampoo forget they have pond!" Cologne smacked herself in
the 
head. "What we do now?"
 Tsubasa smiled. "I'll take care of it the day before the fight." He 
explained his plan to them, and they smiled. Tsubasa went off to look
for 
a certain ninja.

 "Alright, GO!" 
 Ukyou started jumping around the dining area and throwing
mini-spatulas 
at Akane while Akane worked furiously over a mini-grill, cooking an 
okonomiyaki and occasionally deflecting one of the spatulas with her 
cooking ones. She tossed the okonomiyaki at Ukyou, who blocked it
with 
her spatula. "Good shot! Keep going!" Akane started firing off 
okonomiyaki after okonomiyaki as Ukyou jumped around dodging and
blocking 
them. Finally one got through her defenses and smacked her in the
face. 
She stopped jumping, peeled it off, and smiled. "Perfect. And you got
the 
characters for the wards down great." 
 Akane smiled. "I think we're ready to take them on, Ucchan." Ukyou 
grinned.

 Everyone was asleep in the Tendou-Saotome dojo. Sasuke slipped over
the 
wall, followed by another ninja. The second ninja took out a large
fish 
net and began catching all the koi in the pond and dumping them in a 
small barrel full of water Sasuke had produced. Then, Sasuke dragged
a 
bag of quick-dry cement out from its hiding place, and the two ninjas

worked together to pour it all into the pond. Then the unknown ninja 
produced an oar and used it to stir up the water. Satisfied with the
job, 
they hid the barrel behind the bushes in the corner of the yard, and 
slipped back over the wall, unheard and unseen. 

 "Wake up you two! It's time for breakfast!"
 Ranma blinked herself awake and groaned. "Already?" Ryouga yawned
and 
stretched.
 "We're eating early this morning since today is the big fight,
remember? 
Now hurry up and get ready!"
 Ranma and Ryouga shot out of bed and groomed themselves, and
dressed. 
Ryouga started to reach for his usual yellow shirt when Ranma stopped
him.
 He turned to her quizzically. She reached into the closet and pulled
out 
her sleeveless white shirt. "For luck," she said with a wink. Ryouga
put 
the shirt on, smiling, and also put on Ranma's gold arm bracers.
Ranma 
herself decided on her purple shirt. She looked at herself in the
mirror 
and frowned. "I think I want to do something different with my hair,"
she 
announced. Ryouga blinked. "I've never seen you change your hairstyle

before." 
 "Yeah, I've only changed it one time in my whole life. I think it's
time 
for a little change don't you?" She smiled. She reached back and
quickly 
unbraided and untied her hair, handing Ryouga the dragon whisker that
she 
needed to keep it from growing. Ryouga had forgotten about this, and 
watched in amazement as Ranma's hair slowly started growing right
before 
their eyes. She waited until it was almost halfway down her back, and

then she took the whisker back and quickly retied it. Looking at
herself 
in the mirror again, she smirked, and then snapped her fingers.
"Gimme 
one of those," she said, reaching up to yank a bandana off of
Ryouga's 
head. Rather than using it as a bandana, she fashioned a hair ribbon
out 
of it, tying it in a bow over the dragon whisker. She looked back at
her 
reflection and smiled. "Kawaii, ne?" she said, giggling.
 "I like it," Ryouga said, and they went down to breakfast. 

 Kasumi smiled at them as they sat down at the table. "I like what
you've 
done with your hair, Ranma," she said. Ranma smiled. "Thanks."
 Soun was wailing as he brought the newspaper in. "It's a
catastrophe!" 
Everyone blinked at him. "What's wrong, Soun-kun?" Nodoka asked.
 "Someone has filled the pond with cement! Oh my beautiful, expensive
koi 
pond!" He was crying hard enough now to make a new one. 
 Ryouga frowned. "Now why would anyone do that, I wonder."
 Ranma smirked. "Maybe a certain three people didn't want the pond
there 
because it's cold water, and maybe they sent someone to take care of
it."
 Ryouga blinked. "I don't get it."
 "Baka!" Ranma said, smirking. "They probably don't know that I can't
be 
changed into a guy anymore, and they're planning to weaken me with
hot 
water." Ryouga nodded, understanding now. Then he grinned. "Won't
they be 
surprised."
 Ranma laughed. "Heh, I'll say. I'm a little worried about you
though."
 "Me?"
 Ranma nodded. "Yeah, if they're planning to splash me with hot
water, 
they might try to get you with cold water."
 Nodoka frowned. "That's a possibility alright. And we can't say it's

against the rules to turn one of your opponents into a pig since it's

anything-goes martial arts." She smirked. "Kasumi, we're going to
have to 
make sure there's plenty of hot water available."
 "Cold water also," Ranma said. Nodoka blinked at her. "To use
against 
Shampoo. 
 "Ah." Nodoka nodded. 
 Ryouga frowned. "It'll be hard to keep moving kettles and buckets in
and 
out of the house." 
 "Well why don't we use water balloons?" suggested Kasumi.
 Ranma beamed. "Great idea!"
 Nodoka nodded. "We'll get to work on them immediately. You two go
warm 
up...I have a feeling the girls have probably trained harder than we 
think." Nodding, Ranma and Ryouga got up and went into the dojo for a

morning workout.
 Soun was still wailing outside. "My pond! My fish!"
 "Your fish aren't harmed, Tendou-san. They're in a barrel hidden in
the 
bushes over in the corner. And the person who did this apologizes 
sincerely, and will help you refill your pond after the fight. But he

doesn't think it would be fair to anyone if the combatants kept
turning 
into animals and such during the fight." This was Ryouga, reading a
note 
he found stuck to the wall next to dojo door. 
 Soun stopped wailing and turned to him. "That's a note from the
vandal?"
 "More like guardian angel than vandal," Ranma said. "For BOTH sides.
It 
helps the girls more than it helps us...at least it would have if hot

water still turned me back into a guy...and it keeps Shampoo from
falling 
in and turning into a cat. But it also helps Ryouga too."
 "Any idea who did this, Ranma?" Soun asked.
 "Yep." Ranma said. "I know exactly who did it."
 Ryouga and Soun turned to her quizzically. "Tsubasa," she told them.

 Akane and Ukyou were finishing their morning aerobics when Shampoo
and 
Cologne arrived. "Are you girls ready?" Cologne asked.
 "Yep!" 
 "Sure are!" They finished their exercises and grabbed their weapons 
bandoliers. Strapping their spatulas on, they nodded to each other
and 
walked out the door. The four of them made their way to the dojo.

 Ranma and Ryouga finished their light workout, and now they were
waiting 
for the challengers to arrive. Ranma had a row of water balloons
attached 
to her side...cold water, for Shampoo. The rest of the family was on
the 
veranda. Kasumi and Nodoka had a bucket full of hot water balloons 
between them. 
 Tsubasa appeared on the top of the wall. "Sorry about your pond,
Tendou-
san," he called out. "I promise I'll help you refill it after all
this is 
over."
 "Hello Tsubasa!" Kasumi called, waving. "Why don't you come join us
over 
here and watch the fight?"
 Tsubasa shook his head, crouching on the wall. "No thanks, I'll just

perch up here and watch. He turned his head to look down the street,
and 
said, "I think the girls are arriving."
 Akane's voice shouted from outside, "Open the gates!"
 Soun and Genma swung the gates open. Cologne hopped through first,
and 
perched herself beside the veranda. Then the challengers strode
through, 
stopping a few feet inside the gate and standing side by side.
Everyone 
gaped in awe.
 "Akane!?" Ranma said. 
 Akane spoke in a no-nonsense tone. "We've come to drive out the
spirit 
we know is possessing Ranma to make him believe he is really a girl!
 "We're gonna bring you back to your senses, Ranchan!" Ukyou said.
 "That right! Stupid drowned girl go back where she belong!" Shampoo
said.

 Everyone was still gaping at Akane, dressed in her yellow
okonomiyaki-
seller's outfit and carrying a giant spatula strapped to her back.
The 
three girls marched to the center of the yard, stopping about five
feet 
away from Ranma and Ryouga to face off with them. Akane taunted,
"Nice 
ribbon there Ranko. Let's see how much you like it when we're through

with you."
 "For the last time, I *AM* Ranma, you idiots."
 Nodding to each other, Akane and Ukyou drew their spatulas. Ranma
and 
Ryouga dropped into ready stances. Without warning, Shampoo threw a 
bottle of cold water to Ukyou and a kettle of hot water to Akane.
Akane 
slammed the hot water into Ranma with her spatula. The kettle broke
and 
splashed all over Ranma.
 "Aiyah! It no work!"
 "Ranchan's still in his girl form!"
 "Okay, that spirit has gone too far! Attack!"
 Ukyou slammed the cold water at Ryouga, who couldn't block it in
time 
and turned into a pig. Akane and Shampoo rushed Ranma. The attacks
and 
dodges were coming equally fast on both sides. Nobody was doing any 
damage to anyone. Ukyou snuck around to grab the pig. To her
surprise, 
something popped and sprayed hot water in front of her. Next thing
she 
knew, Ryouga's hands closed around her neck. "Why you..."
 "Ah, heh heh heh..." Ryouga threw Ukyou across the yard. She slammed

into the far wall. 
 "Ucchan!"
 "I'm alright Acchan! Get him!" 
 Akane broke off attacking Ranma and went after Ryouga, flinging a 
barrage of spatulas at him. He whipped several bandanas in the air, 
knocking the spatulas to the ground. Akane landed in close range, and

engaged him in spatula-to-umbrella combat. 
 Meanwhile, Ranma was having no success with the cold water balloons.

Shampoo kept knocking them aside before she was splashed. Ranma ran
out 
of balloons. "Damn," she said. 
 Shampoo smiled evilly. "Now we see who stronger, stupid drowned
tomboy." 
She whipped out her bonbori and began lunging at Ranma, who blocked
or 
evaded every strike, but with some difficulty. Shampoo's gotten fast,

Ranma thought to herself.
 Meanwhile, Ukyou was up, and had her mini-grill out. Ranma was too
busy 
fighting Shampoo to notice her, but Ryouga did. As he dodged one of 
Akane's strikes, he started to reach up for his bandanas. "Oooohhhh
no 
you don't," Akane said, and whacked him hard in the elbow. She
pressed 
the attack with fast strikes, and Ryouga was kept busy blocking and 
dodging. "Ranma! Watch out for flying okonomiyaki!"
 "Gotcha!" Ranma said as she tried to disarm Shampoo. It wasn't
working. 
Shampoo was entirely too fast. Ranma was pressed back almost as far
as 
Ryouga. As they were pushed against the wall, Ryouga leaned over and 
whispered, "I have a plan. Try to get her over onto the pond. When I
push 
Akane over there, get out of the way." Ranma nodded.
 Akane smirked. "You two ready to surrender?"
 "No way!" Ranma said, launching into her chestnut fist.
Surprisingly, 
Shampoo was able to block a lot of the punches--Cologne must have
taught 
her the technique, Ranma thought--but she was still being forced
back. 
Meanwhile, Ukyou was busily preparing as many okonomiyaki wards as
she 
could while Akane and Shampoo kept Ranma and Ryouga busy. 
 Akane was still pressing her spatula attack. Ryouga tried to use his

umbrella to cut her spatula in half but it wasn't working. Akane
didn't 
give him an opening. Ranma called over her shoulder, "Use your new
attack 
Ryouga!"
 "Right!" Ryouga stowed his umbrella, taking a hit in the stomach
from 
Akane's spatula. Shifting his body forward, he yelled, "KACHUU
TENSHIN 
AMAGURIKEN!" and delivered a flurry of fast punches at Akane. Not 
prepared for this, Akane had no choice but to fall back. "Ukyou! Do
it 
now! Hurry!"
 Ukyou started flinging the okonomiyakis. Shampoo and Ranma were now 
grappling on the concrete pond, and Akane was almost backed up to its

edge. The okonomiyakis were getting closer. "Just a little more..." 
Ryouga said, continuing to press Akane backward. She was almost on
top of 
Ranma and Shampoo. "There! Ranma! NOW!" Ranma dropped to the ground
and 
rolled away from the pond. Ryouga broke off his attack and dove at
the 
ground, one finger extended. "BAKUSAI TENKETSU!" The concrete
exploded. 
Akane and Shampoo collapsed in a heap in the middle of the blast.
Ryouga 
jumped back, and began flinging bandanas, taking out all the
okonomiyaki. 
Ukyou put away the grill and got ready to fight, flinging spatulas.
Every 
spatula she threw, Ranma caught and threw right back at her. Shampoo 
scrambled out of the wreckage of the pond and threw herself into the 
fight. Ukyou closed in and let fly with her spatula. Ryouga and Ranma

were busy blocking and dodging. 
 None of them noticed Akane setting up her mini-grill when she came
to. 
 The fight was fairly even now, and stayed put, not leaving the
center of 
the yard. Both sides were holding their ground. 
 Akane's hands blurred into motion, making an okonomiyaki.
 Shampoo attacked with the chestnut fist revised, using her bonbori 
instead of her fists. Ranma was keeping up with the attacks but it
was 
tough. Ryouga had his umbrella out again, and was parrying with
Ukyou. 
 Akane drew the characters on the okonomiyaki.
 Shampoo and Ranma dropped back to normal speed after almost two
minutes 
of continuous chestnut fists. Ukyou and Ryouga were locked in an
eye-to-
eye, umbrella-to-spatula contest of strength and will.
 Akane placed the ward on her spatula, brought it around, and smacked
it 
against Ranma's face.
 Shampoo and Ukyou broke off their attacks and backed up into
defensive 
stances.
 Ranma stopped moving. Ryouga stared. 
 The characters on the okonomiyaki began to glow...

 Then it slid off Ranma's face. It shriveled and turned black as it
hit 
the ground. Everyone blinked at it.
 "Oh no," Akane said, "I guess I messed it up..."
 Cologne shook her head. "No, child. You didn't mess up."
 "Then what happen, great-grandmother?"
 Cologne closed her eyes and sighed. She hopped over to Ranma and
Ryouga. 
"Ranma...please accept my apologies. I didn't think it could be
true."
 Ukyou, Shampoo, and Akane gasped. "Wh...what you talking, great-
grandmother?"
 Cologne turned to the three girls. "You three fought well. I'm proud
of 
you for that. But it seems it was in vain. When a ward shrivels and 
blackens like that, it means that there were no spirits to ward off
after 
all."
 Akane's eyes widened. "Y..you mean...?"
 Ukyou looked pale. "Ranchan...really...IS....?"
 Cologne nodded. The three girls sank to the ground, and began
crying. 
 Ranma sighed. "Look you guys, I'm sorry...but this is who I really
am." 
She explained to them about her dreams, and what she had realized
they 
meant. 
 Akane gasped. "Ranma...I really had no idea...I thought..."
 Ukyou sighed. "Same here. I'm really sorry, Ranchan."
 "Shampoo sorry too, Ranma." 
 "It's okay guys. I know why you did it. You thought I was in trouble
and 
you were just trying to help." She smiled. "That's what friends do
for 
each other."
 They all looked at her. "You mean you're not mad at us?" Akane
asked.
 Ranma shook her head. "I never was, not after I realized what you
were 
fighting for. You were fighting for what you believed in. I can't
hold a 
grudge for that." Smiling, she added, "Besides, something good came
out 
of all this. Look at you three. A month ago, none of you would have
had a 
chance against me and Ryouga in a fight. But today, you actually beat
us.
"
 The girls blinked. Then a slow smile spread across Akane's face.
"Hey, 
we did, didn't we?"
 "You girls make a great team," Ryouga said. They all smiled. 
 The happy moment was interrupted by a maniacal laugh as Kodachi
leaped 
over the wall. "Ohohohohohohohoho! Ranma-sama! I've come for you, my 
darling!"
 Everyone looked at her. Ranma cleared her throat and said,
"Kodachi...
Ranma's dead."
 Kodachi blinked. "What?"
 Akane nodded. "Yeah. He's gone."
 "He's been dead for over a month, sweetie."
 "Ranma deader than doornail."
 Kodachi shook, fighting back tears. Then she leveled a hand at the
group 
of them. "You four girls! You wicked little sluts drove my Ranma-sama
to 
his death, didn't you? I'll make you pay, do you hear me?"
 Akane and Ukyou looked at each other and nodded. Moving in synch,
they 
walked over to Kodachi, spatulas in hand. Their spatulas swung in
unison, 
sending Kodachi flying off into the stratosphere, as their stereo
shout 
rang out: "KODACHI NO BAKA!"
 Everyone fell over laughing. 

--------------------------------EPILOGUE------------------------------
-----

 Ranma passed the Nekohanten on her way to Ucchan's. She poked her
head 
inside. Shampoo saw her and waved. "Nihao Ranma!"
 "Hey Shampoo! How's it going?"
 Shampoo smiled. "Shampoo still sad, but think she get over it."
 Ranma smiled. "I'm glad. I really hated having to hurt all three of
you, 
but this is my destiny."
 Shampoo nodded. "Shampoo understand that now, and happy for you and 
Ryouga. Hope you have long life and many strong children." 
 Ranma blushed and giggled. "You know, Shampoo...I bet if you gave
Mousse 
a chance, you might be surprised. You may find out you like him after
all."
 Shampoo sighed. "Stupid Mousse...he never beat Shampoo, so no can
marry. 
Shampoo no even want date him unless he beat her."
 Ranma thought about that, and grinned slowly. "Y'know...you COULD
train 
him. Then he'd beat you." She winked. 
 Shampoo giggled. "Aiyah! Shampoo never look at it that way before!" 
 Ranma waved. "Seeya around, Shampoo!" 
 "Ja ne, Ranma!"

 Akane and Ukyou were waiting when Ranma got to the restaurant. They 
smiled at her and waved her over to the counter. 
 "Heya Ranchan," they said in unison. Ranma blinked. "That's going to

take a LOT of getting used to," she said. The okonomiyaki girls
giggled. 
Akane whipped up an okonomiyaki and put it on a plate in front of
Ranma. 
Ranma looked at it suspiciously and raised an eyebrow. Ukyou nodded. 
Ranma ate it and got another surprise. "Wow, it's good!" Akane
beamed. 
"This is going to take even MORE getting used to." Akane whapped her 
playfully with one of her cooking spatulas. "Y'know," she said, "It's

gonna be hard to leave this place. I really like it here."
 "You know you don't have to go, Acchan."
 Akane sighed. "Yeah, I know, but they miss me back at home, and I
miss 
them."
 Ranma snapped her fingers. "I have an idea! Akane, you can spend
half 
your time at home, and half your time here at Ucchan's!"
 Ukyou nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, and you can still work here
every 
day, you know!"
 Akane smiled. "That's a great idea! I'll do it!" The three of them
had a 
small celebration.
 Tsubasa walked in. They all waved to him as he sat at the counter.
Ukyou 
smiled at him. "Heya Tsubasa! How's it going?"
 "Great, Ukyou! We finally got that pond back to normal." He smiled. 
 Akane poked Ukyou in the side and stage-whispered to her,
"Y'know...he 
is pretty cute..." She winked. Ranma and Ukyou giggled, and Tsubasa 
blushed.
 Ukyou started making an okonomiyaki and said, "Hmm...well, I need a 
little time to get over the loss of Ranma..."
 Ranma said, "Look at it this way Ucchan. You haven't lost an
iinazuke, 
you've gained a girlfriend!" She giggled. Akane grinned and said,
"Yeah, 
someone else to gossip with and borrow clothes from!" They all
started 
giggling. "By the way, Ranchan, your hair looks really cute like
that." 
 "Thanks Ucchan!" Ranma touched her hair ribbon and smiled. Akane
giggled.
 "Yeah, that looks good on you. So you and Ryouga are pretty serious
huh?"
 Ranma blushed and nodded. "We're engaged, and he's going to help run
the 
dojo. I'm glad that Mom moved in, too. And Tofu-sensei is going to 
propose to Kasumi tomorrow night!" 
 Akane gaped. "Finally?"
 "Yep!" Akane grinned. Ukyou finished making the okonomiyaki and set
it 
in front of Tsubasa. On it she had written one kanji character in
sauce: 
"hope".
 After they closed up shop, Akane headed home, tired but happy. She'd

lost her iinazuke, the man she loved, and that wasn't easy on her.
But 
Ranma was still her friend, and she'd always be there for her. Things

were starting to look up. She wouldn't be married for a while now, of

course, but all in all, life was still pretty good. 
 A dark-haired, well-tanned boy dressed in an expensive-looking
sweater 
and slacks walked up to her. "Excuse me, miss...I was wondering if
you 
could tell me where the Tendou dojo is...I was looking for some old 
friends, and..." He broke off. "Akane?"
 She looked at him carefully. He was hard to recognize in these
clothes, 
but now that she looked at him... She smiled. "Toma! How are you?"
 Toma smiled. "I'm doing rather well. Our island got wedged in
between 
two of the smaller islands of Japan after we dropped you and your
friends 
off. My men and I decided to gather up all our wealth, and divide it
up, 
and start over here in Japan. I moved to Tokyo, I got an apartment,
I'm 
going to school there, and life is quite satisfying, except I have
yet to 
meet any women I am really interested in."
 A slow smile spread across Akane's face. "Toma, I think this may be
your 
lucky day..." She offered him her arm, and together they walked off
into 
the sunset...


            <The end.>


(And now, back to Rob Bob's Last Call, and "Her"...)

	In the end, it's Akane who manages to hit Ranma with the okonomiyaki
spirit ward that does absolutely no good whatsoever. So everyone
accepts the truth, Toma wanders in at the end just so Akane can have
a boyfriend like everyone else, and everyone lives happily ever
after, as this horrible farce finally comes to an end.
	You can always tell an author's earlier efforts. You'd never guess
that the guy who wrote this weird piece of junk would later go on to
take the main plot points driving it, and use them to write the much
more popular "Onna: Red Side vs. Yellow Side"...that's right, the
epic and the Ranma fic lost in the mists of time sprang from this old
turkey. 
	Well, that's all the time we have for now, so this is Rob Bob saying
so long, and the FFML will never die...it'll just crash every now and
then...

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"Try to control yourself..."
"Hey, I'm 20. I'm male. I'm single. I'm not 
getting any. What do you expect?"
"...I stand corrected. And you...just...stand."
-Conversation between Lurker and an 
anonymous AOL user
---
The Eternal Lost Lurker
...gettin' ficcy wit' it...
EternalLostLurker@worldnet.att.net
http://www.geocities.com/~etlostlurker

"Heeere leezard, leezard, leezard..."
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