"Words of a Failing Fanfic Writer"
Version 0.0
Jonathan Ng

Even in the midst of chaos, I decide to write this...

To all fanfic writers, good and bad.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
I come up with an innovation once in a while, but it pales in 
comparison to some.  It would be like comparing god to man.  But 
I carry on.

My experience is like a child's to the deep life experiences that many
others have.  What little experience I have is painfully obvious, but 
I carry on.

I am impatient.  I can never invest too much time in something, because
my impatience will get the better of me.  But I carry on.

I am afraid the world will look at me in a prejudiced eye, and my 
writing will be cast off into the four winds, but I carry on.

My vocabulary is limited to the few thousand I carry inside my head, 
and what little slivers I glean from bumping across them.  My grammar
isn't perfect, and my style isn't anything to be proud of, but I carry
on.

In the tornado of good fan fiction I become hopelessly lost.  The 
senses that enshroud me as I see the light and darkness portrayed
overwhelm me and threaten to smother me.  But I carry on.

My analysis is clumsy, obvious and not too compelling.  I am not able
to help others see what they cannot, no matter how hard I try.  But
I carry on.

I will never grasp a deep emotion of love, hatred and angst, because
I will never experience them deeply enough.  But I carry on.

I will carry on.  I carry on because I think that someday, I will
be able to write better, and that thought alone carries me.

I will carry on.

I will carry on.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Author's Notes:
I'm in the middle of writing "Embrace Who You Are" Part 2 and "Without
Friends" Part 3, and lots of tiny ideas are bouncing inside my head.
I decided to write this because everyday I seem to be getting writer's
block.  I even had to pause in the middle of my in-class King Lear
essay.  This tells me one thing:  I'm losing momentum too quickly.

I've been on this list for almost a month now.  I've seen many fanfics
being written, most of them well written (we probably have had a bad
fic once in a while, but none too bad)  What I have seen amazes me.  
I'll probably never become a great writer, but as the fic says, I'll
carry on.

As always, C&C welcome.  (I don't even mind MSTs, but I'll never get
one in this lifetime...)



----------------------
Jonathan Ng
jonathan@worldy.com

"Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks!  Rage, blow!"  King Lear, III, ii, 1

"I am a man more sinned against than sinning." King Lear, III, ii, 62-63