Nice fic, Brent. It suffers from your usual problem of characters being
too self-aware, but at least this time Ranma/Ranko has a good reason
for it.

Of course, I'll like anything where Akane gets mad at Ryouga. ^_^

[note; I wrote that only halfway through the fic]

"I-I see.  All right, Ranma, I'll take the time to listen to the woman I
love.  After all, for you, I'm bisexual.  TOGETHER, we will work out all of
our problems.  That is what you want, isn't it?"

*This* line ("After all, for you, I'm bisexual.") shocked me totally; it
came just totally unexpected, and I'm *still* not sure what to make of
it.

Further along, the Ukyou-scene: It also comes a bit sudden/fast; you might
draw the scene out somewhat more and not hammer in the revelations like
were they shot from an assault rifle. Especially the things Akane says
in that scene strikes me as a bit off.

...

Afterwards; the ending comes just totally unexpected. Sure, Ranma/ko
says "mom might still force me" and Akane says she's ready to follow,
but the mood and such in no way builds up to a tragedy; quite the
opposite in fact.

It's not that I'm against non-happy endings, but there should be a
reason; here, it comes across more like "Gah, I'm tired off writing
this, let's just kill everybody."

... (even later)

And then, the "real" ending. HUH? You know, it's kinda hard to fake
running a sword through your gut and having your head lopped off. ;)

And even if one accepts that this happens and they *do* survive,
it *still* feels like a premature ending, IMO.

---
Ronny Hedin, thark@swipnet.se, http://nabiki.newberry.edu/thark/
KotTF   -><-  "Momomoto, Famous Japanese, can swallow his nose."