Scene:  Back in the windowless basement rec room.

 (A green swirling portal forms, and Freemage comes tumbling out,
 sprawling on the floor.

Fm:  Hey!  What's the rush?
Voice (still on lousy PA):  We've got to hurry!  Lina Inverse already
 posted part of *her* MST of part 2 by mistake!
Fm:  Oh.  Well, then, see if you can grab a couple of Animates, and
 we'll get started.  But please, no more of the Geek Patrol, please?
Voice:  No problem.  I've already got a couple of young ladies lined
 up.
Fm (thinking):  `Young ladies', eh?  Could be interesting...(aloud)
 OK, bring 'em on in!

(Two more portals appear, and from each steps a delightfully feminine
 form.)

Figures 1&2 (in unison, using the same voice):  Oh, my!

(Fm facefaults.)
Fm:  You asked these two to do a Lemon?!  Are you nuts?
V:  Relax.  I told them it was a Lemon, and they didn't seem to mind.
Fm:  Oh.  (eyes narrow)  By any chance, did you happen to explain to
 them what a Lemon was?
Kasumi:  By any chance...
Belldandy:  ...is this where...
Kasumi: ...we go to review...
Belldandy: ...the cooking show?
V:  Ummm....Ooops.
Fm:  *groans*  Well, we don't have time for replacements, so let's 
 get started.... (pops tape in VCR, settles in on the couch, between
 K&B, who both smile pleasantly)
 

From: "The Eternal Lost Lurker" <EternalLostLurker@worldnet.att.net>
To: <ffml@fanfic.com>
Subject: [FFML] [fanfic][HENTAI!][SM][CH] Sailormoon Flash, chapter 2 

draft

Delving once again into the twisted mind of Lurker, to bring you this
little morsel of hentai dementia. Enjoy! C&C/MST appreciated.

Kasumi:  Oh!  How nice.  Is this going to be about Happousai and
 Kodachi?
Fm:  Ummm...Not exactly.  It's a crossover between Sailor Moon and
 Cutey Honey.
Bell-chan:  Oh, dear.  I guess that means I won't learn how to make
 that lemon chiffon pie I promised Keiichi.  I'll have to think of
 something to make it up to him.

	Chapter 2: S&M doesn't stand for Sailor Mars!

K:  But then what does it stand for?
Fm:  ...

	====<3====

	Usagi walked into the girls' locker room after gym class. A flash of
light from behind a row of lockers caught her attention.
Investigating, she found Ami spinning in midair, her gym clothes
shredding from her body to be replaced by an entirely too tight,
blue, one-piece swimsuit. The shorter girl smiled and waved at Usagi
as she touched down again. 

B:  Oh,
K:  ...my.

	Usagi grew a sweatdrop. "You're having way too much fun with that
henshin choker, Ami-chan," she commented. 
	Ami shook her head. "No way, Usagi-chan!" she said, giggling. "Gotta
run, I have swim club. Ja ne!" Winking, she skipped merrily out of
the locker room. 

Fm:  Linna was right, she is acting like Mina-chan.

	Usagi chuckled, and changed into her school uniform the
old-fashioned way. She found it strange that a single, solitary month
was all that stood between the Senshi and life past high school. She
was very glad, but she also wondered what things were going to be
like when it was over. Mamoru had already promised her that they'd be
married within a year, provided he received permission from Usagi's
parents. Neither of them was worried about that. 
	At least, so long as Kenji didn't find out they were already
sleeping together on a fairly regular basis.

Fm:  Hell, he'd better not find out they've kissed!  He's the most
 overprotective father I've ever seen...
K:  Oh, I think Father could give him a run for his money.
Fm:  You may be right about that.

 In fact, that very

afternoon Usagi planned to blow off her manga club meeting and go
over to Mamoru's apartment, since he had the afternoon free. 
	Blushing lightly as she imagined the kind of entertainment they
could indulge in, Usagi skipped out of the locker room, past Minako
and Makoto who were on their way in. The two of them watched her go,
exchanged a glance, and giggled. "Ma-mo-cha-n!" they chorused in
singsong. 
	"Ne, Mako-chan," Minako said as she stripped off her gym outfit,
"have you been thinking about what Luna said? Y'know, the 'change'?" 
	Makoto nodded. "Hai...I have to admit, I'm kinda nervous about it."
Looking around, she whispered to Minako, "Ami-chan's been acting a
little different ever since that day."
	Minako nodded. "I know...she makes me worry. I've gotten used to her
having moments of flakiness, but..."
	"Yeah. She's gotten a little too nutty lately." Makoto's brow
creased. "I hope the Change doesn't affect all of us that way."
Smirking, she added, "You're flaky enough as it is." 

Fm:  *chuckle*

	"Mako-chan!" Minako said, whapping the tall girl with her t-shirt. 
Yelping in protest, Makoto removed her own shirt, and the two quickly

(At the moment Mako-chan's shirt comes off, Fm develops a slight
 nosebleed.)
B:  Oh!  Would you like a kleenex for that?
Fm:  Uhh...Heheh.  Yes, please.
B:  No problem.  I have to keep a supply around for Keiichi anyway. 
 do you have thin blood vessel walls, too?
Fm: Errrr...Something like that.

got into a duel involving clothing, towels, and anything else they
had handy. Other girls coming into the locker room grew sweatdrops as
they watched. 

	====<3====

	"Going to Mamoru's place, Usagi-chan?" asked a voice from behind the
odango-topped blonde. Usagi jumped, startled and turned. "Rei-chan!
You scared me!" 
	Rei giggled. "Sorry. Don't let me keep you...I know you and Mamoru
are gonna be...busy." Winking and waving, Rei headed off in the
opposite direction.	
	Usagi blinked after her. "Now what's gotten into..." Then she saw
it: a red ribbon with a gold heart, closed firmly around Rei's neck.
"Oh, that's it." Shaking her head, she resumed her previous course,
reminding herself to corner Rei about the issue later. 

K:  I don't think I understand...
(Fm explains about the chokers.)
K:  Oh.  I wonder if Ranma would like one of those.

	====<3====

	Minako and Makoto managed to convince Ami to go shopping with them
later that afternoon. It didn't take long for them to begin
regretting it. 
	"Let's go in here, guys!" Ami said. The other girls grew sweatdrops.
	"Ami-chan...why would you want to go in there?" Minako asked
nervously.
	"C'mon, it'll be fun!" Ami insisted.
	"Anou, Ami-chan? That's a naughty shop..." Makoto warned.

Fm (doing Makoto):  In the name of Jupiter, I shall punish naughty
 shops everywhere!

	Ami nodded, giggling. "I know! Haven't you ever wanted to go in
one?" 
	The two taller girls shared a nervous glance. "Uhh...sure,
Ami-chan," Minako said. To Makoto, she whispered, "We better humor
her...someone's gotta keep her out of trouble. " 
	"Yeah, we'll come in with you, Ami-chan. Could be fun, right?" 
	Ami giggled, and practically dragged them into the store. 

	====<3====

	"What the hell is this thing?" Minako asked, holding up a plastic
cylinder with two elastic bands attached to one end of it.

(All three get confused looks, followed by making Ewww noises.)

	Makoto looked at the thing, and blushed. "I'd rather not know," she
said. 
	"I'd be happy to demonstrate it if you'd like," purred a saleswoman
clad in a sheer lace teddy as she sidled up to the girls. Minako
blushed, and Makoto gulped. 

(...and Fm licks his lips.)

	"Uhhh, that won't be neccessary, thanks. We're just looking," Minako
said. Makoto nodded emphatically.
	The saleswoman pouted. "Too bad," she said, slinking off to the
other side of the shop. 
	"Did something seem familiar about her?" Minako asked. Makoto
shrugged.
	Ami flounced up to the girls, holding a postage-stamp sized piece of
blue silk. "What do you think?" she asked. "Would it look good on
me?" 

B:  Oh, yes.  It would bring out her eyes.
Fm:  Ummm.... I don't think that her eyes are the part she'd be
 trying to bring out.
K:  I don't think I get it...

	"That depends....what's it supposed to cover?" Makoto asked. 
	"Not much," Ami said, giggling. 

K:  Oh.  (Look of comprehension dawns on her face.)  Ooohhh....

	"What's come over you?" Minako asked. "You've been acting weird
lately..."
	Ami shrugged. "I don't know. I've just felt a lot...looser lately,"

Fm (mumbling, mantra-like):  Don'tgotheredon'tgotheredon'tgothere...)

she said. Giggling, she said, "It's not bad at all!" 
	They continued browsing the store, looking over a selection of
leather lingerie, whips and handcuffs, and a number of things that
insured interesting dreams for several nights. It was when they were
just about ready to leave (much to Minako and Makoto's relief) that
the screaming began.

K:  Hmmm....Yes, that would be about right.
Fm:  Huh?
K:  Dramatic timing.  We get a lot of it at the house.
(Fm sweatdrops.)

	
	====<3====

	A dozen half-naked customers stampeded out of the little store's
changing rooms, shrieking and using whatever they were carrying to
cover their private areas. "What the--?" Minako asked.

B: Oh, dear.  They'll catch cold!

	Ami sobered up instantly. "There's trouble," she said. Makoto nodded
beside her. 
	Seven men charged out of the changing areas, wearing ski masks and
holding various weapons. Two of them were minus pants. 
	"Perverts!" several of the panicked customers screamed.

Fm (sarcastically):  And of course the rest of you are perfectly
 normal, right?

 The scantily

clad saleswoman scowled. 
	"Ami," Minako whispered, "do you think you can take them alone?"
	Ami nodded. "I don't even need to go all-out," she said. 
	Across the store, the leader of the gang of sex maniacs was handing
out various strange pieces of the store's merchandise to his goons,
who advanced menacingly on the screaming women. "Just calm down and
we won't hurt ya...too badly," he said, eliciting evil chuckles from
his crew. 

(B gets a look of understanding, followed by a furious expression. 
 Thunder is heard from somewhere outside.)
B:  They'd. Better. Not.
(Fm cringes away slightly.)

	"Stop right there!" the saleswoman in the lace teddy said, stepping
in front of the frightened customers. 
	The leader laughed. "Oh, sure thing lady. We'll just do you first,
then them. I bet you give real good--"
	The woman's foot caught him across the jaw. He staggered for a
minute.

(All three cheer.)

 "Bitch!" he spat. "You'll hurt for that!" 

	"The only one here who's going to hurt is you," the teddy-clad
saleswoman said, doing a forward flip which caused nearly every other
woman in the store to blush,

(K&B blush.  Fm blushes while wiping a bit of drool.)

 before driving both feet into the chest

of the pervert, sending him flying into a rack of leather
unmentionables. 
	"Who the hell are you?" he spat, rising unsteadily to his feet. The
others circled the tough, sexy young woman warily. 
	"Sometimes I'm a Shinto priestess,"

Fm (whispering, eyes wide):  No, way....

 she began. Across the store,

Ami's eyes widened, and she whispered to Makoto and Minako.
"Sometimes, I'm a salesgirl in a sex apparel shop. But the truth
is...MARS FLASH!" 
	The teddy which was barely there to begin with shredded like tissue
as she rose into the air, arching her back and giving a shameless
display of her gorgeous body. Streaks of red flame swirled around her
body, and those closest to her would later swear they heard her moan
as the fire stroked her breasts and crotch. 

B&K:  o/^ Let me stand next to your fire, let me stand next to your
 fire o/^
(Fm facefaults.)

	When the display ended, a vision straight out of an adult video
stood in the center of the store. A lethal body, wrapped in a tight
red leather leotard that left little to the imagination. The leotard
was extremely low-cut, with a purple leather sailor collar hanging

>from the back, and a zipper running down the center. Oddly enough,

there was a second zipper much, much lower on the garment. Fishnet
stockings disappeared into knee-high red leather boots with stiletto
heels. The boots were matched by fingerless red leather gloves.

K:  Oh, how nice.  Nabiki has one just like that.
B:  Oh, really?  So does Urd.
(Fm contemplates this information, then shifts awkwardly, trying to
 conceal the effects of too much contemplation.)

 A red

choker with a golden heart surrounded the leather goddess' throat,
and star-shaped ruby earrings hung from her ears. A red tiara graced
her forehead, emblazoned in the center with a golden Mars sigil.
Long, luxurious red hair tumbled down her back, and her violet eyes
twinkled impishly. She raised her right hand, and a stream of flames
snaked up her left leg, coiling around her body, and finally coursing
up her arm. With a sharp motion, she brought her arm down, and the
rope of fire cracked like a bullwhip. 
	"Lovely warrior, Cutey Mars!"
	Across the room, Minako and Makoto planted their faces into the
floor. Ami giggled. "Nice outfit," she called out. 
	Flashing her a quick grin and a wink, Mars continued her spiel. "For
entering into this place where men have no domain, for terrorizing
women who want to tantalize their lovers with sexy leather and lace,
Cutey Mars won't forgive you!"
	"It could be worse," Makoto muttered from the sidelines. "She
could've said 'I'll punish you'..."

Fm:  LOL!

	Minako and Ami giggled. 
	"Nice outfit," one of the punks said. "I've got some handcuffs to go
with it!" 
	"Not  a chance, creep," Mars said, striking out with her flame whip.
The pervert yelped, dropping the cuffs. 
	"Get her!" the leader yelled. The gang advanced on Mars in force.
	Looking around, Mars began panicking slightly. Dodging an attempted
tackle by one of the goons, she slipped out of the circle. Landing
some feet away, she shouted, "Flaminatrix!" 
	A red aura ripped away from Mars, resolving into what appeared to be
a clone of the bondage-leather clad warrior, composed of living fire.

Fm:  Ah, so this is going to be a pattern now, is it?
B:  What do you mean?
(Fm explains about Cutey Mercury's `Ice Bunny'.)
K:  Oh, a cute little rabbit?  How sweet.

The flaming femme fatale charged forward, knocking out three of the
punks before they knew what had hit them. The remaining four
attempted a counterattack, but they couldn't manage to hurt the clone
as she subdued them. After the last one went down, she struck a sexy
pose, and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. 
	When the smoke cleared, Minako, Makoto, and Ami rushed over to Mars.
"Hi guys," the leather-clad girl said, smiling cheerfully as she
disspelled her flame whip.
	"What on earth is with that outfit?" Minako asked.
	Mars shrugged, blushing. "It's pretty wild, I'll admit..."
	"Why is there a zipper there?" Makoto wondered, pointing to the
lower zipper on Mars' leotard. "That seems like a strange place for a
pocket..."

(Fm sweatdrops, big time.)

	Minako bent down in front of Mars, and unzipped the zipper. She
quickly backed away, turning beet red. "Uhhh...that's definitely
*not* a pocket," she said. Mars yelped, and quickly zipped it up
again, blushing furiously. 

(Without even looking, B hands Fm another kleenex, which is promptly
 used to stop the other nostril's bleeding.)

	"Hmmm, I dunno...I could probably think of something to put in
there," Ami said from where she stood beside a bin of "toys". Makoto
and Minako facefaulted. 

B:  Oh,
K:  ...My...
Fm:  ...Goodness.

	====<3====

	Next time on Sailormoon Flash: Jupiter Blossoms!

(All three stand.)
Fm (nervous, scratching back of neck):  Uh, well, thanks for being
 such good sports, you two.  It is a well-written fic, after all.
B:  No problem.
K:  It was kind of fun.
(B&K move to their portals, which have just reappeared.  Just before
 they leave, they move into a passionate kiss.  We can see the
 faintest hint of tongue action.)
B:  Bye, 'sumi-chan!
K:  Meet you at the motel, Bell-chan!  Usual time.
(They depart.)
V:  Well, that was unexpected, wouldn't you say?  Freemage?
(Camera pans down, so we see Fm passed out on floor in a pool of his
 own blood.)
V:  Oh, well.  We'll see you next time...Good job, Lurker!

--------------------------------------------------------------------
The three things you can count on in life:
1. Someone will be offended by your words.
2. Someone will be offended by your actions.
3. Someone will be offended by your existence.
---
The Eternal Lost Lurker
...who uses a Microsoft e-mail client, and is
damned proud of it.
EternalLostLurker@worldnet.att.net
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Garden/9502

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

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