Subject: Re: [FFML] [Commentary] Together Again: 1996 Chapter (Act IV)
From: "H. Torrance Griffin" <heretic@jhunix.hcf.jhu.edu>
Date: 4/15/1998, 7:04 PM
To: Chris Davies
CC: ffml@fanfic.com

	About time I got around to commenting on this (so sue me, I'm
feeling ambitious)

On Sun, 12 Apr 1998, Chris Davies wrote:

                                  KASUMI
                   Yes, Luna, I've known for almost
                   four years.

                                   LUNA
                   But how --

                                  KASUMI
                   One night, the moon went out. <beat>
                   And I heard the sound of a cat
                   screaming.  <beat>  And I knew who
                   I had been, once.
	....
	Oh my!	

<snip>


                                   LUNA
                   It was never clear how you died.
                   <beat>  It was said that Beryl had
                   killed you, herself.

KASUMI does not look at LUNA.

                                  KASUMI
                   She did.

                                   LUNA
                   Then you should know that Serena
                   avenged you --

                                  KASUMI
                   I know.  <beat; tears in her voice>
                   May the Light be more merciful to 
                   Beryl than this world ever was.

	I assume this is an attempt to make people curious about the next
prequel?

<snip>

                                  WASHUU
                   <angry> Don't talk to *me* about 
                   *plans*, Ms. "Send the Coward Crown 
                   Prince to His Mom's Home Pond To
                   Bring Fresh Blood Into The Royal 
                   Line"!  You've got no room to be
                   yelling at --
	Touche'.


                                  TSUNAMI
                   <fierce> RAMIA.
	Or maybe not....

<snip>

                               KASUGA AKANE
                   KILL ME.

                                  MINAKO
                   I --

                               KASUGA AKANE
                   I never wanted to be a mother, and
                   definitely not like this, KILL ME!

                                  MINAKO
                   I cccccc-- I caaaa -- I --

                               KASUGA AKANE
                   <tears> PLEASE.

	At this point, the more fanatical Anti-Moonies out there would
point out that Aino-san has slain scores of sentient creatures without a
qualm by this point, but there is a difference between killing an advisary
in battle and granting a merciful death to an innocent who knows she's
doomed and is begging you for release. 

	In short, this is _truly_ harsh.

There's a surge in AKANE's stomach.

                               KASUGA AKANE
                   Now.

                                  MINAKO
                   <whispered> Crescent Beam.
	<winces>

<snip>

                                  COLOGNE
                   What problem have you found that
                   you cannot speak of it in --

SHAMPOO's frustration is clearly visible on her face.

                                  SHAMPOO
                   -- in a language in which you've
                   given me no instruction?  That I'm
                   expected to learn as some sort of
                   punishment for dragging you out of
                   your retirement? 

	No ma'am, no sign of resentment here!  None at _all_!

                                   RAYE
                   Hey, you! <heading after SHAMPOO>
                   You with the cheesebuns on your
                   head!
	<chortle>

                                  SHAMPOO
                   Shampoo know how Japanese people are
                   to foreigners.  Shampoo know *very*
                   well how Japanese people --
	Now while I'll be the first to say that 'Poo is coming off as a
bitter, judgemental, shortsighted dolt here; one can argue that she has
more justification than say... Rei-chan.

                                   RAYE
                   And for what it's worth, if I were
                   as bad as you're making me out to 
                   be, I wouldn't have my best friends
                   in this world.  <beat>  Because all
                   four of them are `only' part-
                   Japanese.  Later, Cheesebun Head.

	Touche' again <snickers at Shampoo's new nickname>

	I just realised something Davies.  You seem to be one of the few
SM writers out there (yes, this includes the guys at DIC) who bothers
trying to rationalize why a bunch of Tokyo schoolgirls have/use english
names. 

<snip>

KASUMI's face freezes, as does BELLDANDY's face.  The tension in the room 
increases several times over.

                                  KASUMI
                   <clipped> What do *you* want here?

                                 BELLDANDY
                   I am Goddess First Class, Unlimited
                   License, Belldandy.  My sisters are
                   within.  I *will* enter.
	*piku*
	I take it exchanging recipies is out of the question at the
moment?

                                  KASUMI
                   <whisper> If you harm any of my
                   sisters I shall kill you.

<mini-snip>

                                 SUBTITLE
                   Thus saith Belldandy:  Should any 
                   harm come to Keiichi-san, I shall
                   not rest until the line of the Moon
                   Kingdom is no more.
	O_O;
	You seem to be hinting at a fair amount of mutual distrust here,
going back well over a conventional lifetime.  Am I correct?

<snip>

A series of Chinese paintings illustrate the following tale.  Ku-Len Sing 
resembles has long, greenish-black hair, with earlocks.
	Resembles a what?

                              COLOGNE (V.O.)
                   It is said that Ku-Len Sing, the 
                   daughter of an Amazon matriarch and
                   the God of War, was able to cause
                   the Adversary -- whose name in our
                   tongue I will not pronounce -- to 
                   lose interst in Earth during the 
                   First Emperor's reign by defeating a
                   horde of goblinkind, singlehandedly.
                   The battle is said to have lasted
                   five days and five nights.

                               RANMA (V.O.)
                   So what happened to her after that?

                              COLOGNE (V.O.)
                   Most of the parts of her body were
                   recovered, eventually.

	Ah, the price of fame <facefaults>

<snip>

                                  WASHUU
                   Don't bother trying to intimidate
                   me, Pluto.  I know exactly what
                   you're capable of doing, and I know
                   that the last time we went 'round,
                   it was a draw.  I might not remember
                   much else about it, but I *do* know
                   that I've progressed since then.

	Davies, let me tell you something about these flagrantly
ham-fisted attempts to drum up interest in TA: SMChapter.... 

	They are quite effective.

                                  RYOUGA
                   Why do random selections always end
                   up with me *not* being with --

AMY, transformed to SAILOR MERCURY, walking beside him, smiles 
apologetically.

                                    AMY
                   I programmed the selector to not
                   pair up associates unless there
                   was no one else available. 

	And so it begins....

                                   TAROU
                   Shut up, slit.  I'm gonna go to the

	I suppose that is either a typo or an obscure canadian euphemism.

Close up of TAROU's snarling face --

Just as two shots ring out.  TAROU's face freezes ... as he slowly 
crumples to the ground.  Blood is flowing from his knees, and he is 
obviously in great pain.

	I get the distinct feeling that you are not a Taro-Fanboy(tm)

<snip>

                               AKANE (V.O.)
                   For the record ... no, I don't think
                   Kasuga-san is a lech.

	"A Spinless Twit, maybe...."

<snip>

                                  TENCHI
                   <weak> Would his name be Masaki
                   Katsuhito?

                                   KENT
                   Why, yes.  Do you know him?

	<snicker>


TENCHI nods weakly.  NABIKI stares ... and a slow, *dangerous* smile grows 
on her face.

                                  NABIKI
                   <softly> I seeeee ...

	Don't think it 'Biki, the competition's a bit too... fierce for
your taste.

<snip>

                                  YOSHOU
                   Hmm.  As it happens, my grandson
                   doesn't have a fiancee, as such.
                   But do you really think that it's a
                   good idea to engage him to one of
                   your grand-daughters without telling
                   him?

	"... assuming of course that you would rather not see your flesh
and blood get maimed and beaten...."

<snip>

KONATSU is standing there, beat red, holding a pile of clothes in front of 
hir "privates".

	I see you've read 'New Frontier' one too many times as well....

<snip>

This particular demon (hereafter called a Sagu) is a hulking humanoid dark 
purple shape roughly eight feet tall, with a massive, cyclopean-eyed head 
which is slightly out of proportion to the size of its body.  It is gazing 
down at KASUMI without moving.

There is a long silence.

                                  KASUMI
                   Oh my.

	Now don't you wish you had taken Luna up on her offer, Kaz?

<snip>

He runs off.  NABIKI stares at TENCHI with an acquisitive air.

                                  NABIKI
                   Sooo ... you're an alien prince, 
                   huh?

                                  TENCHI
                   Well, yes.  <beat>  I hope you don't
                   find that --

                                  NABIKI
                   In line for the throne?

                                  TENCHI
                   I ... guess so.  I don't really think
                   about it.

                                  NABIKI
                   <grins> We will talk about this more,
                   later.  Right now ...

	Like I said before, don't _even_ think about such things unless
you have an ace in the hole, Nabs.... 

<snip>

                            STENGOVITCH (V.O.)
                   Will you ever tell her?

                                KENT (V.O.)
                   Not until we can undo it.  Maybe not
                   then.

PATRICIA's face moves in a silent scream.

                                KENT (V.O.)
                   Who knows what knowing about this
                   would do to her?

Cut to black.

                               AKANE (V.O.)
                   She'd lied when she said she knew
                   how to set the autodoc.  <beat>
                   She heard everything.

	<winces again>

<snip>

TENCHI looks like he's about to freak out.  AYEKA directs an angry glare 
in AYEKA's direction.

	Typo here (assuming Aeka-hime's not part Carrgite)

<snip>

                                   KENT
                   My half-sister is a telekinetic.
                   She also has a doctorate in human
                   physiology.  <beat>  Can you imagine
                   what someone could do to the inside
                   of your body, if they had the skill
                   of a surgeon, and didn't need to
                   touch you?

	eep!

                                  NINIANE
                   First time I've tried to make sense
                   since I've awoke.  <beat>  It will
                   be okay ... you can end it, Kent.  I
                   believe in you.  <beat>  I still see
                   you as you.  I loved Emrys more than
                   I could stand, but *everyone* loved
                   you.  Even the Morrigan loved you as
                   she hated you.  I love you still.
                   <beat; Welsh> Yield not, Pendragon.

	Morte d'Arthur tie in too?  The Author's Notes are going to be a
doozy at this rate.

	Overall assessment: Excellent.  Complicated, but excellent.

HTG