On Sat, 28 Mar 1998, Zen wrote:

At 19:31 -0600 3/27/98, Scott Jamison wrote:

	As a result, he mistook an extraordinarily bad case of temper on
Akane's part for a permanent condition, and made a number of moves that
seemed clever at the time, but were in reality guaranteed to cause the
maximum dishonor and heartbreak.  Since these decisions fit into Mousse
and Ukyou's fantasy worlds, they haven't figured this out yet...And so
Ranma went on the road with Ucchan.

Hmm.  You REALLY REALLY hated the first part, eh?  *sigh*

No, I just hated Ranma's actions and the purproted reasons for them...

"I asked if you were okay.  It's like you're a million spatials out, you
know?"

spatials?  Perhaps Zen means spatula-lengths?

Heh... Actually, no.  This was originally a 'million miles away' but Lawson
got in a snit at the use of miles 'cause Zen uses metrics everywhere else,
but if Zen used kilometers here, it wouldn't be the right idiom (You'd not
BELIEVE the cow that he had over 'a yen for your thoughts' - so Zen used
the fact that he'd written Ucchan as a sci fi fan, and hence 'spatials'.
Ironically enough, the spell checker barfed on 'spatials' and suggested
'spatulas' as a fix. ^_^;;

That makes sense...

Ranma-chan had to smile at that.  "No, Ucchan... that's the one thing that
I *haven't* lost."

Yes, you have.  You traded her in for a consolation prize fiancee.

Objection!  The witness is exhibiting personal bias!  ^_^;;;  You really

I have never claimed complete lack of bias, have I?

Haruka turned to Ranma, his expression darkening once more into
unreadability.  "Oh, yes.  I remember Ranma.  So.  Ukyou spoke the truth."
He gave Ranma a curt nod and an appraising stare.  "I can only hope that
this time you will prove worthy of her devotion."

This Ranma?  Umm...

A-HEM.  Bias.  ^_^

Yup.

Haruka pressed his attack.  "Your father knew!  He took the yattai that I
gave him as dowry, but he left my daughter behind!"

	Um, aren't we forgetting something here, Kuonji-san?  Namely,
that *you* were the one who came up with the idea of bribing Genma to
void the first engagement?  If he agreed to that so easily, you should have
no kick coming when he turned around and violated your trust...

Well, TRUE, but he HAD paid in advance... which the Tendou's had not.
Mayhaps he was counting on that.  Besides, with Genma and Happousai, there
are enough bastards in this fic. ^_^

And, *if* you accept the "raft o' fiancees" thing, Haruka appears to be 
the one who gave Genma the idea.

daughter.  It *is* your intention to marry her, is it not?"

Yep.  Mostly out of spite, of course.  Not because he actually has any
feelings towards her.

Anta baka?  He does so!  Nyaaah!

Okay, vague feelings of friendliness.

Over the past year I've learned a lot of lessons... most of them the
hard way.  But I *have* learned them."

I'm doubting it, by the way you're acting../

Heh.  He hasn't learned *everything* and he knows it.  But, then, you KNEW
that this story would not end happily in your view, yes?  You HAD to know
that Ranma and Ukyou would STAY together... it IS a Zenfic, after all. ^_^;;

Actually, I don't mind Ranma and Ukyou staying together...I just loathe 
the way Ranma is going about it and why.

Ukyou smiled.  "Should I try to beat the snot out of you next time then?"

Yes.

<<snort>>

It really turns him on.

Ukyou could feel her heart drop into the pit of her stomach.  "You don't
mean that... that choosing me... I mean..."

No, that was after he made his biggest mistake, and after that, choosing
you wasn't a mistake.

tap tap tap tap....

His biggest mistake was trying to make a "rational" decision on which 
fiancee to grab.

Ranma heard the sigh and held her just a little tighter.  "I just hope that
you know what you're getting yourself into, Ucchan."

"It doesn't matter, really.  I have what I want - what I've always wanted.
Whatever happens, I can face it now - as long as I have you."

She should be going into one of her fantasy sequences here....

Prolly so... but Zen has no idea how to write those. ^_^

	Something like this..."Of course I know, Ranchan!  We'll have our 
own little okonomiyaki-ya, and we'll be so perfectly happy together and 
never fight and our children will get good grades and learn to cook with 
us and..."
	Like that.

Eiko stared sadly into the rubble.  "No... I've never had any trouble
breaking things," she said softly.  "It's how NOT to break things that's
been so hard for me to learn."

It's pretty clear from the movies that A-ko *has* had formal combat
training, probably from her mother....

Really?  Zen is not so sure... Zen sorta saw her style as brawling...

It's Anime Professional Wrestling (in anime, pro wrestling is *not* fake, 
as seen in the series Tiger Mask, among others...)  I recognize the moves.

Cologne's voice was edged with steel.  "Now go, and prepare.  You will take
Mousse with you, to free you from more mundane chores on the road, but you

Really *bad* decision!  You *know* Mousse will sabotage Shampoo's
attempts any chance he gets....

Yes... but she has more faith in her granddaughter than she does in Mousse...
He is, after all, only a male. ^_-

Shampoo should at least object.  After all, she did fine in chasing Ranma 
down solo before.  "Blind idiot just slow Shampoo down!  Shampoo take 
Linlin and Lanlan."
 > > 

*must* bring back your groom.  There must be a rematch, if you want to
maintain your honour, or your standing as an Amazon warrior."

Shampoo's doomed, isn't she?

More or less.

I sympathize with her *situation* a lot more than I do with Ukyou's.  Of 
course I sympathize with Shampoo's *actions* a lot less.

"I've found Ukyou's father."

You didn't already know?

Nope.  Why should she?

Blackmail material, just in case Ukyou pulled something really dirty?

"Master?"  A pause.  "Mistress?"  Another pause.  "Anyone?"  There was no
answer.  Sayogakure Sasuke smiled to himself.  For the first time in his
life, things were looking up.

Actually, no...

No?  For Sasuke?  Why not?

As seen in the episode where Sasuke is temporarily ousted, he's much 
happier when serving someone, even if that person is abusive.  Of course, 
there's still the Principal...

Akane had to smile at that.  "Why don't you just give up on Ataru?" she
countered.  "Let that Oni girl have him?  After all, all he does is make
you angry..."

"That's not the same thing!" Shinobu began hotly.

He actually comes on to me every so often!  Besides, she's a violent
maniac, and I'm his childhood buddy, and I can cook better!

See?  There you are!  ^_-

All the wrong reasons!

"I know you can take care of yourself." Eiko sighed.  "You didn't need
Ranma to defend you either.  But, deep down, weren't you glad when he did?"

	I still don't think eiko is the best travel companion for Akane.
Despite what she says, she *does* have the tendency to be
reflexively overprotective, and does outshine Akane in most of Akane's
strong points.  (Yes, Akane may be a better student, but how important is
*that* on a trek?)

The way Zen sees it, Eiko is one who can tolerate Akane's cooking, and
while she has the strength, she lacks finesse... they can learn from each
other that way... Also, Eiko may be a better cook, but Akane will be a
better outdoors person in other respects... Eiko was just about the best
companion Zen could find, and even remotely make work.  Akane needs
*someone*

	Mana would have been better.

Shinobu looked at Akane.  "Following THAT logic, you'd be going out with
Kunou, or that guy with the bandanna fixation."

Kunou doesn't treat her nice, and Ryouga is a hypocrite...

Well... true, but Shinobu might not see that... after all, she still dotes
on Mendou...

Point.  Curse his Aura of Pheromones that Don't Work on Aliens...
(You'll note none of the other alien woment seem all that impressed with 
Mendou either...)
 > 

Akane rolled her eyes and looked to Eiko for help, but the red-head was
sniggering.  No sympathy there.  Finally, she sighed and grinned.  "Maybe I
should have done, Shinobu-chan... maybe I should have done."

Nope, you should've stayed out of this fic altogether...

Hey.  She married him in the last one. ^_^;;

She should have stayed out of that one too.

"Young Saotome's departure from your domicile was, I take it, rather
abrupt?"

He stole away like a thief in the night.  In fact, his last act was
raiding the kitchen...

No, his last act was a visit to say good-bye to the place.

But no one saw that...raiding the kitchen, they did.

"But honour demands..."

"Demands nothing of the sort," said Nodoka firmly.

Then why did you always whip your sword out towards *Ranma*?
	And Ranma, explain curse first, *then* demonstrate, baka!

Yes, well, it worked this way the LAST time... ^_^;;

Only because he demonstrated his manliness *first*.

"Let's see," Ranma started counting off on his fingers, "There's Akane, and
there was Kaori, and then there's you, and there was that Mano girl..."

Actually, in that fic, it was Nodoka that did it...

Hey, that's true... Zen had forgotten about that fic... Zen just included
her 'cause he likes the anime.  ^_^

Ah.  But it's believable that Madoka Mano might try this sort of thing...

"Yeah, that's the one all right... she *was* weird.  Lessee, after Yohko,
there was Tomoko, and finally Biiko.  Nope.  That's just six."

Tomoko?

Tomoko Saeki - from DNA^2... The character design is a dead ringer for
Zen's first wife.  Really scary.

Zen's first wife, or the resemblance?  Haven't seen the series.

"You're forgetting, Ran-chan, there was that ditzy blonde girl with the
buns and the really long pigtails."

I don't buy this one at all.  Neither Kenji nor Ikuko seems the type to
make an arrangement like that, nor to have something Genma wanted that
badly.  Now, Queen Serenity, maybe, but that engagement would then date
back to the Silver Millenium, making it first in line...
	(there's a fanfic Idea there...)

<<giggle>> There might be at that. ^_-

	What if, the reason Endymion had to come masked is not just 
because of the "menace from Earth" thing, but that Princess Serenity was 
already in an arranged engagement to the man who would be reincarnated as 
Ranma Saotome?  This would hit right after the Ail and Ann mess, as Usagi 
and Mamoru are finally getting together...now Luna tells her that to 
fulfill her destiny, Sailor Moon must marry this guy she's never heard 
of...

The stream of fiancees is anime canon, and is implied fairly well, so that
ought to work okay.  And Ukyou has not been a saint... She just hasn't had
a chance to really fuck up yet.  There are seeds of discord, though they
will be overcome.  After all, whe laughed at Akane, and she tried to talk
Ranma OUT of seeing his mom.  She really isn't perfect.

	Um, I'm talking about the major flaws she has in the manga.  They 
aren't even *hinted* at in these two long chapters.  Even most "Akane 
gets Ranma" fics will have Akane show off her faults early in the 
story...
	And the "stream of fiancees" brings up questions of its own.  If 
Genma is so stupid, and he certainly doesn't seem to be very good at 
tricking people in the manga, *how* did he convince all these people to 
engage their offspring to the son of a wandering bum *and* conceal *all* 
of this from Ranma?  
	And why *are* all these people so anxious to get rid of their 
daughters?   Especially the Tsukino family, of those mentioned?  (At 
least with Ukyou, there was the attraction factor...)

Oh, ye of little memory...You, Ranma, claimed the Tendou dowry *before*
an engagement to Ukyou was even *discussed*!  And considering your
physical abuse of said dowry, your abandonment of its other heir and
despoilage of its future potential, I'd say you've equalled the value of
the yatai several times over...

At six, Ranma would have little or no understanding of such things... just
what his father had chosen to tell him... Which was not enough.  Secondly,
he paid for a lot of things, through the nose, to Nabiki... you're going to
find precious little sympathy for the Tendous here in that regard...
though, the Tendous would have damned good claims agains Shampoo and
Ko-chan, and the others.

That's not the point, and you know it.

"Ran-chan and I talked a lot when he was upset."  Ukyou shrugged.

Not supported in the manga.

Not contraindicated either.  And it IS suggested that Ranma spends a lot of
time in the Ucchan... Zen suspects that he'd talk between bouts of scarfing
free Okonomiyaki.

	He once spent a whole month not bothering to go there, despite 
all the problems and cares that cropped up during that time.
	My suspicion is the conversation was limited to "more, please" on 
Ranma's side, and Ukyou's fantasies on the other.
	If he was talking in normal conversations to anyone, it was the 
person he hung out doing normal things with...Akane.

"You make her sound like some sort of saint," said Nodoka bitterly.

well, she certainly acts like it in this story...

No, you're just upset 'cause she got Ranma.  ^_^

No, so far she's done everything absolutely right...

The first was a note - the handwriting was Ranma's, though how she knew
that she couldn't say.  It was short, just two lines long, asking for her

The incredibly bad kanji.

Yes, but does Nodoka know that?

IIRC, Nodoka has seen Ranko's handwriting, probably in that Kumon Ryuu 
story...
 > 

"They're all GONE!  All the pretty ladies!  And, it's YOUR fault!  Just
what is it that you plan to do about this mess, eh?  How do you plan to
atone for this?!"

They don't.  That's Nodoka's department.

Heh.

Though you've left little but for her to commit seppuku at this point...

Making her way to the other bed, Ukyou fell wearily into it.  It had been
such a very long day.  She turned out the light and lay for a time, staring
up into the darkness, thinking.  The worst was over, at least she hoped

no, the worst is yet to come...

Oh?  How so?  Though, there are rough roads ahead. ^_^

Ukyou is finally going to see the real Ranma, not her fantasy husband...

	And since the Ukyou thing *was* your father's thing, the
engagement that now takes precedence is the one that does not rely on
your family name, and that you acquired all on your own.  Shampoo.

An interesting hypothesis... might have to try that argument.

	Though, technically, he's not engaged to Shampoo, she's engaged 
to *him*...

	A note:  Given Ranma's new problem-solving methods, if he remains
consistent, two or three months down the line, Ukyou will go into one of
her towering rages (which are a lot less predictable than Akane's, and
thus more dangerous to Ranma) and yell "I hate you!  Go away!  I never
want to see you again!"  Ranma will assume he's blown it with Ucchan too,
and bug out without checking back in an hour to make sure she really
meant it.

Maybe... maybe...  But you're not being fair to either of them.  Ukyou's

Yes I am.  If Ranma does it twice, he'll do it three times.

infrequent rages have, at least, valid foundations, more than Akane's do.

Ummm....

A number of people have started following after them - and you'll be seeing
more of them from time to time as they complicate things for the happy
couple in future episodes.

Happy couple?  Ha!  Their one chance of making a success of the marriage
was some corrective work by Nodoka...

Naaah.

Yes.  This Ranma needs some serious surgery.

Zen hopes that the next story will not make you want to throw things, but,
it really DOES have a saintly Ukyou in it.  ^_^;;

Hey, I already let Ucchan be God in one of *my* fics...and she got Ranma 
too! 

SKJAM!