A little while ago, I noticed that a lot of people round at my halls of
residence look or behave like the characters from Ranma. This was
written on the spur of the moment, a couple of weeks ago, before I
joined the ffml.

 First, a few explanations:
                               The halls of residence are really called
Maes-Yr-Eglys.
                               Sarah is short, with long ginger hair.
She is frequently called "Freaky Imp Girl". She is very much in love
with Robin, who she ALWAYS fights with. She frequently calls him an
idiot.
                                Robin is tall, thin, with very short
hair, and wears glasses. (Neither of them do any form of Martial Arts.)
                                Vlad looks a lot like Soun Tendou. He
is, according to popular opinion, a vampire.
                                Tom is a very large Rugby player, with a
vague resemblance to Genma. 
                                Matthew... Is me. I have long, blonde
hair, glasses, and do kendo. I don't live in halls.
                                Louisa is medium height, blone hair, and
drinks like a fish. 
                                The Blonde-Haired Girl is Fiona.
                                This is based loosely on the Manga and
the Anime, but also vaguely on events that have happened here... see if
you can work out what some of them are. 

(Insert standard disclaimer here)
The people whom I have used in this are slightly pissed off that I did
this. As a result, there may be a real-life revengefic in the offing
(Doki...)

Based on people I know, and Rumiko Takahashi's incredible series Ranma
1/2, I give to you:

Robin 1/2
 or, How Life Imitates Art (With A Little Imagination).

Part one: Robin Arrives! Thunder Strikes! Robin Strikes Back Harder!

It was another cold and wet day in Pontypridd. A lone train stopped in
the station, amidst the continual drizzle. Two very odd figures
alighted, and took their luggage. The first of these was a rather
drenched young woman with blonde hair, and the other, against all
expectation, was a Panda. "Tom... you get a taxi. I'll lug some of these
down the steps." The panda flourished a large sign, which read "GOOD
IDEA."  
		"Great!" The girl sprinted down the steps. Tom (the
panda) looked bemused for a second, and held up a sign "BUT I THOUGHT
YOU SAID..." Tom sighed, and flipped the sign round. "NEVER MIND."
		At Nerimaes Halls of Residence, Sarah sat in the lounge,
idly flipping through the channels. All she could find to watch were an
eistedfodd from Pant-y-Hose and Fritz Lang's Metropolis. aside from
those, there was nothing at all worth watching on. A figure sidled into
the room, avoiding the light as much as possible. "Hi Vlad."
 	"Hi. I see he still hasn't come yet."
		"No. I haven't seen him since the summer. I can't
believe he's decided to change universities to be with me!"
		"Apparently he's bringing a friend. Someone called Tom."
		"Him? I haven't seen him since they went on that hiking
holiday together, in the Lake District. In fact, I haven't seen either
of them since then."
		"So, what's he like?"
		"Well, he does Shotokan-ryu karate..."
		"Should be useful, considering some of the trouble
you've had..."
		"I do that as well, Vlad- but he's tall, very thin, very
short hair, drinks like a fish, and- oh yes- he's terrified of Cats.
Something to do with an insane teacher he once had."
		"Who's that?"
		"Eh? That's not him. That, for a start, is a her."
		The blonde girl walked in. In a rather flat voice, she
spoke. "Hi, Sarah. Where's the Kitchen?"
		"Eh? How'd you know my name?"
	                "Long story. Where is it?" 
		"Through there." Sarah gestured vaguely in the direction
of the nearest kitchen.
		"Thanks. Come on, Tom!" A large panda lumbered through
the lounge, to the amazement of Vlad and Sarah. The Panda held up a
large sign "HI!" before the girl walked back in with a jug of hot water.
"Now, Sarah, this is going to be hard to believe, but bear with me."
With that, the girl tipped a portion of the water over her head.
Sarah gasped as she saw the young woman spring upwards, to become a
short-haired, bespectacled, lanky young man. 
		"Robin!?"
		"Yep, it's me. I am here. Sorry 'bout this," as he
tipped the rest of the water over the Panda, who shrank a bit, and
became...
		"TOM!?" Tom was furious. "What did you do that for , you
idiot?"
		"I thought it would be best to get the bad news over and
done with as soon as possible!"
		"Maybe, but you change fully clothed!"
		"Sorry, sorry!" With that Tom took a swing at Robin.
Robin dodged, and responded with a somewhat ludicrous multiple punch
"KAWAII-KANJI-KEN!"
		Tom, somewhat stunned by the brutal strikes, responded
with a very impractical flying kick. "AVENGING GAZELLE STRIKE!" He had,
however, forgotten how stupid he looked, as he was presently naked. And
when you are quite obviously leaving your self open on the front (as it
were) it was a grave mistake. Robin simply side-stepped  and put his
fist in the right place. 
		Vlad and Sarah had been watching this silly display with
bulging eyes. "And these are your friends?"
		"They weren't like this when I last saw them!" she
wailed. 
		Sometime later, when Tom had put on some suitable
clothing, Robin explained what had happened."We went on that hiking
holiday in the Lake District. Near the end of it, we found this plateau,
near Ferretthwaite. And there we found a set of ponds. A nice place,
really- the sun was shining, there was a hint of lily of the valley on
the air. We decided to go through the middle of the pools. Near the end,
this twit fell in."
		"You knocked me!" Tom, breaking his silence, looked
ready to kill Robin for this comment.  
		"Well, maybe I did. It's too late now. The fact is, he
came out of the pond looking like a panda. The shock caused me to
stumble, and plunge into the last pond there- The spring of the Drowned
Girl. Since then, I've been trying to find a cure."
		"The strange thing is," said Tom, "The local people we
met knew all about that place. But once found, there's almost no way to
find it a second time. Apparently. But hot water changes us back into
our true forms. There is, supposedly, a way to be cured at the site.
There is a spring of Drowned Man."
		"So why didn't you use that?"
		"We couldn't find it again. We couldn't find the path
we'd taken again!"
		Vlad looked at his watch. "It might be worth going down
the pub, now. It's nearly nine."

*****
		The four of them sat round a table, drinking silently.
None of them had much to say since the revelations of the previous hour.
There was some desultory small talk, but there wasn't much else going
on. Suddenly, the Doors of the Farmer's blew open, and a young man all
in black walked in. "Good evening sir! A pint of Carling, if you would
be so good."  The barman gave a long-suffering look and glanced a
warning over at the small group. "Oh great," Sarah muttered. "It's Him."
		"What do you mean? He looks all right."
		"That, my dear Robin, is Matthew Copeland-Harrison.
Idiot, wannabe samurai, and abuser of Shakespeare. Plus the fact that
he's been a thorn in Sarah's side since he got here."
		"Him, a problem? Wouldn't think so, knowing my Sarah."
		"At last, I can bathe in the graceful rays of the one
and only Sarah. It seems an age since last I was able to gaze on thy
visage, and"*WHACK*
		"Can it, idiot."
		"How I cherish the gentle caress of my cheek by the
adorable Sarah. It is a demonstration of her true love for me that she
does this whenever we should meet."
		"He doesn't give up, does he?" This was muttered to
Sarah. 
	                "What boorish sort are you to speak so casually
with the divine Sarah? But it is good manners to introduce yourself
first. I am Matthew Copeland-Harrison, latest in a long line of nobility
that has a lineage extending back to the Royal household of Queen Jane!
But my peers call me... The NOVOCASTRIAN SAMURAI!" There was a
pointless, dramatic rumble of thunder at that point.
                                 "Only when they're not calling the
Cops..." muttered Vlad. "You really ought to look a yourself," Vlad
continued, "You've had five matches since you got here, and the best
you've done is draw. Give it up."
		"I have never been defeated fairly! Always, some form of
black magic has intervened to prevent my success. But, now, I shall
defeat you. Your name?"
		"I am Robin. And I accept your challenge!"
		"Very well. Outside. Now."
		It had stopped raining by the time they got outside.
Matthew had acquired a bokken from nowhere, and was facing off against
Robin. A small crowd had gathered to watch. "Beware, thy defeat is at
hand." 
		"Does he always talk like this?"
		"Get used to it."
		Matthew swung forwards with a savage strike to the neck,
which rapidly changed its path to become a vicious naname giri, which
Robin only just avoided. The blows struck a wall behind where Robin had
been standing, and then Matthew was spun around by a flathand punch to
the jaw. Robin tried to follow this up with a kidney strike with  his
wrists, but had to jump out of the way as Matthew unleashed a Kiriage.
He jumped straight up. 
		Matthew looked up, as the rain started to fall again. He
thrust up towards Robins' throat as Robins' hand flew down. Robin
simultaneously kicked off Matthew's chest, and ran back to the halls,
with Tom and Sarah. 
		A little later on, Tom was boiling some water. "I
couldn't let him see my cursed form."
		"Have you had a look at your neck?" Asked Sarah. Robin
felt a rather nasty bruise developing. 		"But he didn't even
touch me!"
		"I take it he won then?" Robin shook his head with a
smile. "No." 

*****
		Back in the Farmers, Vlad was checking that Matthew was
all right. He was inspecting his head in a mirror, on which a small
bruise had appeared. It read: BUFFOUN. "Feh. He cannot even spell! That
uncultured boor has no sense of dignity, style, or a decent education.
THIS is how you spell it!" With that, he scribbled on his hand: BUFOON. 
		"Actually, It's B-U-F-F-O-O-N." This was from Vlad, who
was watching for any signs of concussion.
		"Thank you for thine needless correction. It still goes
to prove that this Robin has not the sense most are born with! He has no
place..."
		Vlad made his departure. "I think the pot just met the
kettle..."he muttered, as he left the toilet. He finished his pint, and
left, as did many other people, as the ranted, reasonless rhetoric grew
less coherent as the seconds fled (with good reason). Vlad headed into
the estate in a vein attempt to find some sustenance. 
		Back in the pub, a young Japanese couple (the man with a
pigtail, and the girl with short hair) looked at each other. There was a
brief flurry of conversation between them. If there were any
sufficiently educated people to understand them, this is what they would
have heard:  
		"Please tell me he's still in Nerima."
		"I believe he is. He hasn't given up on either of us,
has he?"
		"Then there must be someone like him around here."
		"Impossible."
		"It would appear not." 
		"Let's hope his sister doesn't have a doppleganger
here."
		"Indeed. And also let us hope that Kunou doesn't ever
meet whoever that is."
		"Agreed. I think there might be a small explosion."
		Day dawned with the type of rosy fingers that should
never appear outside the Odyssey or the Iliad. And a few people, in
particular, were busy readying themselves. Vlad had set off to Uni
already, under cover of darkness, trying not to suffer too much. Matthew
was busy whirling a bokken around, greeting the dawn with practice and
ranting.  (The young Japanese couple were watching, and couldn't believe
the similarities with Tatewaki Kunou.)
		After an uneventful beginning to the day, Robin was
getting the hang of the timetable he was using. He then promptly set off
down the wrong corridor en route to his next class.
		"Oi! Idiot!" Robin looked down to see a familiar ginger
head of hair looking back up at him. "Where do you think you're going?"
		"Room G415."
		"Wrong way."
		"Oh. Which way should I be going?"
		"That way. No, tell a lie..."
		Robin sighed. "Great. Berated by a freaky imp girl who
doesn't even know the way herself..."
		"I HEARD THAT!" A familiar roar came down the corridor,
and a familiar figure gesticulated wildly towards the couple.
"SCOUNDREL! HOW DARE YOU  INSULT THE FAIR SARAH LIKE THAT! HAVE AT
THEE!"  Matthew dropped his bag, and unfastened the top. He rummaged
around in it for a few seconds, and then pulled out a pair of bokken-
one standard, one a shoto. What bewildered everyone was the fact that
his bag was a small rucksack; there was no way those large pieces of
wood could fit in the bag. It was assumed (according to the laws of
pseudo-Manga-Anime-physics) that the bag was in fact a gateway leading
to Hammerspace(TM), and so could produce justabout anything. (Good job
he didn't try for a grenade...)
		Matthew stormed down the corridor, and ran after Robin.
"COWARD!"
		"THIS AIN'T A GOOD PLACE FOR A FIGHT!" Robin yelled
back. He saw an open window, and stopped. "Follow me!"
		"That I shall!" Matthew leapt after Robin, bokken held
in Joudan position.
		Both had forgotten that they were on the third floor. 
		"Oh SHIT!"
		"ACK!"
		By sheer luck, there was a rather murky ornamental pond
outside. Robin landed first, swiftly followed by Matthew. Robin had
another pressing problem- his aquatranssexual nature. He swam away,
underwater (I think you know the sort of pond I'm talking about...) but
suddenly was grabbed round the chest by Matthew. Hard. 
		Robin did an incredible impression of a
submarine-launched ICBM, and smashed Matthew's head on the concrete.
"PERVERT!"
   		Matthew watched, as she ran off, his hair trailing in
the water, and his arms folded. A minute passed. 
		"That was a girl."
		Silence.
		"That was definitely a girl. No doubt about it."
		Another short pause. His hair drifted in the slight
current.
		"That can mean only one thing."
		He leapt up, and tried to brandish a bokken in the air,
but gave up when he realised he'd dropped it.
"That COWARD! He is no man to run off and leave a woman in his place to
fight his battles in his stead! Truly he shall suffer for such
dishonourable conduct!"

*****
		Robin was up a tree. She was sitting there, wringing out
her jeans, and seething. "He didn't have to grab me so hard," she
grumbled. "I suppose he's realised what's going on."
 		"Well it was your own fault for doing that! What were
you thinking of, jumping off the third floor?"  Sarah was standing
below, with something behind her back.
		"Hey, he started it! And I can still take him!"
		"You don't want this, then..." Sarah held up the kettle
she'd had behind her back, and made to pour it out. 
		"NO! Stop! Bitch! Tomboy!"
		There was a sloshing noise, as Matthew walked past,
muttering. He had found both his bokken, and was somewhat damply hunting
down Robin. "Whither Robin?"
		Sarah threw the kettle in the air. "I'll buy you some
time. Turn back quickly!" With that, she ran towards the fuming
kendoist.
		Robin caught the kettle. Unfortunately, it was at arms
length, clinging onto the branch with his feet, whole body outstretched.
"Now how exactly am I going to do that?"
		Matthew was surprised to see Sarah sprinting towards
him. 
		"Matthew! I challenge you here and now!"
		Matthew was stunned. "Is this all that had to be
done...? Very well, then, should you beat me, I will allow you to date
me. And lest too light winning make the prize light, I shall lose with
all my might!" This proved  that not only was he terrible with
Shakespeare, he was an appalling poet too. Sarah, meanwhile, adopted a
basic stance.
		"KIIAI!" With that cry, Matthew sprang forwards with a
basic downward strike, easily avoided by Sarah, who straightarmed him in
the shoulder. This did not stop him, as he made a vicious sweep attack
at her ankles,causing her to leap up, push off his chest with her feet,
and simultaneously kick him in the chin. He was quite stunned by the
blows. 'May as well finish him off...' she thought, and, drawing
strength from places she didn't know she had, delivered a vicious
uppercut that lifted him off his feet. Up into the tree. 
		"Finally!" exclaimed Robin, as he pulled the kettle and
himself ove to the branch. Unfortunately, Matthew's head connected with
the kettle- upside down. Matthew looked levelly at Robin, if inversely.
"Have you seen a strange man around here?"
		Robin shook her head. 
		"I thought not! He has fled! He is no man! He has fled
so that he is spared the wrath of heaven!" Robin dropped the kettle, and
Matthew with it. He sprang down too. "That hurt, you know."
		"I'm not going to stand for this! Come on!"
		Matthew raised his bokken again. "And should you defeat
me, thou shalt date me!"
		"Who said anything about a date!?" Robin exectued a kick
to the chin, just before Matthew lashed out. She jumped. 
		When they saw where Robin had landed, they were
surprised. He was balancing on the ridge of the bokken. Robin jumped,
and kicked Matthew in the face as he went over. "Robin is even more
skilled than Me, loser! C'mon, Sarah, let's go."

*****
		Some time later, Robin and Sarah were going through
Katas in the courtyard of Nerimaes, When something unexpected happened.
"EEP!"
		An arrow embedded itself in a litterbin. There was a
sheet of paper attatched. There, in the worst copperplate ever seen, was
the following message:
		"To the blonde-haired girl:
                                                	Meet me at the
vicarage car park at 5:36 PM. Alone."
		"Sounds like a challenge. I'll be there!"
		5:36 came. Amd went. "He's late. Idiot. Late for a
challenge he laid!"
			"For it so falls out 
			That what we have 
			We do not prize the worth
			While we posess it;
			But, being lacked and lost,
			Why then we 
			Rack the value,
			We find the virtue the 
			Posession did not show
			Whilst it was ours."
		"It is now 5:36 PM-"
		"5:40, idiot!"
		"The moment when the sunset is most beautiful. And
another vision of beauty is here."
     		"Come on, let's get to it. You must be confident- you
don't have your stick!"
		"Confident enough to give you this!" Matthew threw
something. Out of instinct, Robin caught it. 
		"Roses?"
		"Indeed. I hope that that says it all." With that, he
walked off, back to his digs. "Blonde-haired girl... I desire thee!"
		Robin dropped to his knees in shock. 'Oh shit,' he
thought, 'what am I going to do about this now?'
		Morning came again. Being Saturday, everyone was still
pretty quiet, if not asleep.
		Not so Louisa. She had seen what was  going on, and had
decided to make as much money out of it as possible.  She had a camera,
a flask of cold water, and a thermos. She tipped a bit of cold water on
Robin, and let the change take over. Then she took a number of risque
(but not hentai) photos. Then the thermos was employed to turn him back
into the much less attractive form he preferred, and left the room, with
every intention of getting the photo's developed as fast as possible. 
		Two minutes later there was an anguished cry as Robin
woke up to a warm, wet bed, and grabbed the obvious conclusion.
		Louisa put together her portfolio, and waited for the
message that would inevitably come.
				*Whisssssssshhhht-THONK*
		Louisa opened the window, and dislodged the arrow stuck
in the frame. The message attatched was exactly the one she had been
waiting for.
		Ponty was not very crowded. She made her way to the
arranged rondezvous point- the Cafe Royale. There, at the back, was
Matthew. He seemed to be hiding something in his jacket. 
		"I thank thee for thy presence. I took the liberty of
ordering for you," he said, gesturing to the third-rate cappucino. 
		"What do you want, Matthew? It's not like you to invite
a girl out."
		"It's this." He opened his jacket and held out to her a
cuddly cabbit. Louisa looked first at it, and then  levelly at Matthew.
"And what is this?"
		"It's a Ryo-Ohki- a gift."
		"No thanks. Not my style," taking a sip of cappucino.
		"No! It is for the Blonde-haired girl!"
		Louisa looked up in surprise. She knew Matthew was a
little dense, and a sucker for a pretty face, but... Robin? She tried to
stop herself laughing, and failed, spraying coffee over the table. She
suddenly regained her composure. "Now look what you made me do."
		Matthew wiped coffee off his face. 
		"How sweet and voluble your discourse!"
		"I have here some photos of your precious Blonde-haired
girl..." And then she put the five snaps on the table. Matthew picked
them up, and stared.
		"She looks so... so... vulnerable." He was trembling as
he said the words. 
		"Five quid for the set."
		"Kuso! The gods themselves would weep at such a price!"
		"Not interested?"
		"Here."
		Louisa pocketed the money. "Does this mean you're giving
up on Sarah?"
		"No!"
		"You're not going to two-time her!?"
		"Of course not! Sarah, full of martial power. Tbe
Blonde-haired girl, bursting with healthy vitality! Do you call it
deceit that I should have them both?"
		"No, it's called two-timing." She slapped down another
set of five photos. "Five quid."
		"The divine Sarah! Done!"
		"You have been. Now, would you like to know how to give
that... thing to the Blonde-haired girl?"
		"Indeed!"
		"Give it to Robin."
		"WHAT!?!"
		"You heard."
 		Matthew was stunned beyond belief. "So... He  is the one
to whom this must go? Very well. I shall see him immediately."
		And so it came about that Robin, once again, was
accosted by Matthew. In the courtyard of Nerimaes halls of residence.
		"Here."
		"Eh?!"
		"Take it. It is for the blonde-haired girl."
		Robin tossed the cuddly Ryo-Ohki back to Matthew. "You
won't be seeing her ever again, if I have any say in the matter." With
that, he walked round a corner. A splashing noise was heard, and Robin
was heard to mutter "Damn overflow pipes..."
		Matthew would have heard this, had he not been pondering
Robin's words. Then he charged round the corner. "What meanest thou by
this..." He trailed off. "AA! Megami-sama no blonde hair!" He embraced
Robin violently, much to Robin's annoyance. This embrace was broken off
by the sudden intervention of Louisa, with a kettle of hot water.
"AIEERGH!"
		"Louisa, tradition states that cold water is the means
for seperating overly-amourous couples."
		"Do you understand now?"
		"Understand what?" Matthew then saw that Robin was now
male. This he could not believe, and so plumped for an even more
unbelieveable answer.
		"I cannot believe it! A black sorcerer, nay, a vile
necromancer  in our midst!"
		Robin, although he did not understand the term,
facefaulted.
		"No, Matthew. You don't understand. Her body. Her soul.
All his."
		The scene that followed was less believable than
Matthew's explanation. An image glowed round him for an instant- that of
horrendous, white-hot flames. Louisa and Robin took a step back.
		"YOU... YOU... YOU... SHAMELESS CASANOVA!" he
spluttered. "ENSLAVER OF WOMEN! THOU SHALT DIE!!!" so saying, he whipped
a bokken out of Hammerspace. This was much bigger, and darker than his
standard bokken. "With this weapon, I cannot fail! This weapon was
blessed by the fair hands of my first love!"
		"Which season was that, then?"
		Matthew shot Louisa a look that was absolutely venomous.
"ROBIN! PREPARE TO DIE!"
Matthew move d in whirling his Suburi in a complicated pattern. Not one
blow connected. But benches, flowerpots and windows were demolished by
the wild blows. Robin landed one blow on Matthew's chest, and a
snowstorm of photographs filled the air. He started grabbing them. He
saw, to his amazement, they were photos of himself in female form, and
of Sarah. This distracted him enough for Matthew to get lucky. 
		"AN OPENING!"
		Robin gasped as the blow tore along his left side,
cracking bone and stripping flesh through sheer speed. The blow threw
him back. 
		When he landed, he was at Sarah's feet. "He gets really
good when he's angry. I think you should know that."
		"And maybe you should know that you aren't doing
yourself any favours dressing so much like a boy."
		Sarah kicked him back to Matthew. "Dry up and die,
freak!"
		While Robin was in the air, Matthew spoke. "It has come
to this, that I should use the ultimate technique on this honourless
fiend. Very well. TEMBATSU DA DA DADADADADADA!"
		Robin was not ready for the sudden flurry of Tsukku that
came flying at him. He could barely dodge, but got into the rhythym of
the thrusts. As all watching were stunned that the wall behind Robin was
cracking and splintering from the sheer force of the blows, although
none of them were touching it. 
		Matthew suddenly changed to what was going to be an
almighty Shomen Uchi when Robin struck. The single kick he released was
not seen to connect, but flattened Matthew, who fell on his face. 
		"He'll be alright," said Robin, who was leaning against
a wall. Louisa turned Matthew over, and saw  the bruises. *Head,
shoulders, solar plexus, abdomen, groin...OUCH! But I didn't see his
foot connect!*
		"Didn't you take a hit, Robin?"
		"What? Oh, yeah, Sarah. Don't worry. He didn't have
much."
		"Doesn't it hurt at all?" She prodded the wound, gently.
A little blood seeped through the shirt onto her finger. "ACK!" Robin
convulsed in pain. 
		"He didn't have much, did he? What distracted you,
anyway?" Robin pulled out a few photos. "How'd he get these... LOUISA!"
		"Can't blame a student for trying to make a little more
money, now can you?"
		"I don't know why he wanted photos of an unsexy freaky
imp girl like you anyway..." Robin walked away. Sarah went ballistic. 
		The courtyard was rocked by screams, moans, and the
terrible sound of cracking bones and popping joints.

                                                                 End of
part one.



Notes... I have/had a pseudo-girlfriend called Autumn. 
             There is a position in Kendo called Joudan- it is the sword
held horizontal over the head.

                          This may be continued, depending on the
response I get.