On Mon, 23 Mar 1998, Scott Schimmel wrote:

	Queen Beryl frowned faintly.  Ever since she had finally managed to
punch open a hole back to the normal universe, she'd had a vague feeling
like something was missing.

Scott:  Her mind?

Madoka:  Her sense of taste?

Akane:  Her left eye?

Beryl:  I am NOT Odin!
 

     She held her hands over her staff-globe and concentrated.  Four
figures appeared in the globe.  They all looked like normal humans going
about their normal lives.

Madoka:  "Normal" humans, in Marmalade Boy.  Right.

Miki:  Compared to say...Akane or the Kasugas or Ataru, we're pretty
normal.

Marmalade Moon, Episode 2:
 
"The Matsuuras move in and so do the forces of evil.
 But which of these will be more trouble?"

Scott:  What sort of question is that?  The Matsuuras, of course.

Madoka:  That episode title is almost long enough to be its own fic.

Pluto:  We dedicate this title to eighteenth century pamphlet titles like, 

"Letters from a Country Gentleman to his Friend in the City
 Regarding the Recent Bill to Allow A General Naturalization
 of the Jews and the Effects This is likely to Have thereon
 on Developments in the Indigo Trade"

Pluto:  Etc, etc, etc.  By the time you finish the title, you don't NEED
to read the pamphlet.

 

It had to
be.  Maybe this was her way of dealing with her odd family business.
Hmm. Well, if Miki can play a little joke, so can I.  Hmm.  

Akane:  Why do I get goosebumps when she says that?

Scott:  How long before she regrets it, do you think?

Akane:  Two chapters.

Meiko:  Two if you count this one.

 
****************

Madoka:  (Meiko) ...then I can write a line of asterisks across mine!

Meiko:  Hmph.

 

	 "General Jinnai, report."  Beryl said, hoping that the control

Scott:  So this is where the El Hazard part comes in.  You know, this
is kind of disappointing...  I liked the emphasis on MB.

Bailesu:  I couldn't get four male generals without corrupting everyone's
love interests, which would have required either introducing new
characters, importing new love interests from another series, or not
killing the generals.  Since my contract requires a high body count, I
decided to import the generals.

crystals worked and that she'd found the right person.  She dimly
remembered one of her generals had dark hair, although some part of her
mind was insisting he had had long hair, not short, but this guy was
definitely a reincarnated being of power.  

Akane:  That sounds like Miwa is one of the generals...

Scott:  Well, if Meiko is Naru, then Miwa could be Malachite...

Madoka:  Of course, if he'd been reincarnated, she'd have no reason to
expect that he still had long, dark hair...

Beryl:  Most people don't realize that everyone who reincarnates actually
looks the same in each life.  Just look at the Moon Kingdom segments of
Sailor Moon.  Usagi looks exactly the same.  So I assumed that would apply
to my generals.  

	"All I know is that it must be Makoto's fault."  He paused.  "That I
can't remember anything."  He paused again.  "At least, I think his name
is Makoto."

Scott:  Hey, there's the Sailor Jupiter we were looking for last time.
See, it's supposed to be Fatora, but she vanishes, and Makoto has
to...

[Madoka and Akane shake their heads.]

Scott:  ...No?  But he even has the same first name...

Makoto:  I promise I am NOT going to be Sailor Jupiter.  If I can help it.
Also, I haven't met Fatora yet in this universe.

	"You did not make this clear in your report."
 
	"Having gagged the owner, tied her up, and locked her in the closet,
I declared a sale in order to attract a horde of customers.  Then I.."

Akane:  (youma) ...got disintegrated by a teenage girl with a silly
name and a glowing tennis racquet.

Madoka:  Which brings to mind the question:  If she was disintegrated
last episode, why is she alive to give this report?

TW Pluto:  Like Demons and Devils in the AD&D game...

Pluto:  That's Taanari and...

TW Pluto:  As I was saying.  Like Demons and Devils in the AD&D game,
slaying a Youma outside their home plane doesn't permanently kill them.
Their body on the Earth plane is only a magical construct, which is why it
disintegrates instead of being a corpse and why most youma have some
degree of shapeshifting.  You have to go to their home plane to
permanently slay them.  However, creating these constructs takes a lot of
energy, which is why the Youma are trying to collect enough to create a
permanent gateway, among other things.  This is also why one hit from a
magic tennisball is enough to kill them.  Their structures are vulnerable
to magical disruption, which overloads their matrix, causing them to
disintegrate.

	 The committee had to be hastily adjourned to a later date after
Quartzite extended her arms across the room and down Opal's throat, then
tried to rip out his lungs.  It was resolved to send Youma Bigmouth to

Scott:  Hmm.  I wonder what Youma Bigmouth's distinguishing character
trait is... -_-;;;

Miki:  She looks like Edie Brickell.
 

continue the operations until another meeting could be held.

Madoka:  Why don't they just attack en masse?  There are a few
thousand expendable youma, and only one Senshi so far.

TW Pluto:  Because it requires large amounts of energy to transport Youma
to the physical plane.  Until a gateway can be built, you have to
construct a body out of magical energy for each of them, which gets to be
a pain.  So it can only be justified by a large scale yield, such as
Jinnai was hoping to get later in this episode.  

moons on the front where the team symbol normally would be, and she held a
glowing bat in one hand and a yellow baseball in the other.  The poster
proclaimed her to be 'Softball Warrior V, protector of the innocent'.
There was a TV station and time listed under that.  "Cool,"  Miki said.

Scott:  (blinks) It -is- Suzu.

Akane:  Where the heck did softball come from?

Suzu:  The United States.  
 

 
	 Youma Bigmouth was struggling to get into a suit.  How this woman
wears these stupid outfits, she thought...Her bad attitude must help
somehow...hey, I have a bad attitude!  Yeah, I can do this.  "FIT, YOU
STUPID SCHOOL TEACHER OUTFIT OR I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!"  Suddenly, the
suitdress fit perfectly.  Youma Bigmouth smiled and made sure the teacher
was properly locked up in the closet.  

Akane:  This must be Kyoto-sensei.

Scott:  She's not that bad, just too strict a traditionalist.

Miki:  She is the beast that walks!
 

 
	Miki was about to read Meiko's entry in the exchange diary when Luna
said, "I need to tell you more about your duties as a tennis warrior."

Scott:  Oh, boy, this ought to be good.  "Remember, you only get one
mistake at the beginning of each fight.  Don't double-fault."

Miki:  Ohh, good thinking.

 

Venus had an entire Softball team.  Mercury was very hot, but also very
wet, so it fielded a swim team.  Mars produced a track and field squad.
Jupiter was noted for truly dangerous Rugby warriors.  The forces of evil
dreaded the Basketball Soldiers of Saturn.  All those rings came in handy
for shooting practice, I guess.  Uranus had a racing team; Neptune, of
course, had a squad of Lifeguards and expert swimmers, and Pluto had the
Ice Skating All-Star Squadron."

Madoka:  Two planets have swimmers, and none have field hockey?
That's unexpected.

Bailesu:  D'oh!  I repeated myself!  I will note that I have never in my
life met a person who has actually played Field Hockey, though.  [goes to
pick a new sport for Mercury)

	 Luna shook her head.  "Nope.  It's all real.  The Tennis Warriors
of the Moon were the elite force, for each of them cross-trained with the
squadron of the world they represented."
 
	 "So what should I be cross-training in?"

Madoka:  Biathlon?

Scott:  Javelin throwing?

Akane:  Tea ceremony?

Scott:  Since when is tea ceremony a sport?

Ranma:  Martial Arts Tea Ceremony.  It's a sport.

	 Luna sweatdropped.  "I can't remember."
 
	 "You ARE making it all up!"
 
	 Luna shook her head.  "Anyway, we also have to look for the Moon
Princess, who has been reborn here on Earth like the rest of you."

Akane:  I wonder why they're all reborn on Earth, instead of the other
planets and the moon...

Luna:  One, Queen Serenity sent them here.  Two, the other planets are now
burnt out unihabitable shells.  You can't be reborn on Mars, for example,
when there are no humans to give birth to you.  Earth has the only
mothers.

	 "Queen Beryl lead a revolt against your mother and her army
destroyed the Moon Kingdom.  She is the one sending the monsters.  Your
mother destroyed the army with the Silver Moon Crystal, but not before
everyone died."
 
	 "Why did she wait?"

Akane:  RUMI destroyed Queen Beryl?

Scott:  The wait must have been because she and her husband each
thought the other had told someone to go fetch the Crystal, then. ^_^

Luna:  Quite.  

Bailesu:  Another thing I gotta fix...
 

	 "Ummm...Wander around mindlessly until we stumble into them?"
 
	 "Is that how you found me?"
 
	 Luna nodded.
 
	 Miki thought a moment.  "And how long did this take?"
 
	 Luna began counting on her paws.  "Ten years."

Akane:  O_o  How many paws does Luna have?

Luna:  I have a collection.  Rabbits really hate me.

 

	 "And how soon will Beryl conquer everything?"
 
	 Luna sweatdropped.  "Maybe we could do a search on the internet."

Madoka:  *** KILL YOUMA FAST ***

Bailesu:  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!


 

	 "And how will I know if I find one, anyway?"
 
	 "I have something that can help."  Luna leaped into the air, "Rise,
rise, cast off this form of man, become the...oh wait, wrong magic

Scott:  For accuracy's sake, it's "Gone, gone, oh form of man, / Rise
the demon, Etrigan."  Don't ask me how I remember that.

Bailesu:  Well, Luna wasn't getting it right anyway.
 

	 Miki laughed.  "You could try humming the Inspector Gadget theme."
 
	"This is bad enough.  Ahh, now I remember.  Luna Mask Power!"  She
leaped into the air, doing a back flip, and a blue mask like the ones that
the Masked Golfer and Softball Warrior V wore appeared, fluttering down to
the bed.  "This mask will let you spot the symbol that a true warrior of
the White Gold Millenium has on their forehead."

Akane:  White Gold Millennium?  Then why is it still the "silver"
crystal?

Luna:  Um...when I remember, I'll tell you.

     Miki smiled.  "We've been best friends for years now.  It's a lot of
fun.  Don't tell me there's no one you'd be willing to do that with?"
 
     Yuu shook his head.  "Not really."  He paused.  "I did have a friend
like that once, years ago, but we haven't seen each other in a while."

Akane:  How about a throwaway reference?

TW Pluto:  She'll be appearing later with her father the scientist.
[looks innocent]
 

thought.  He looked sad, which surprised her.  "Well, I hope you get to
see him again soon.  It's good to keep in touch with friends."

Madoka:  -Him-?

Scott:  Miki assumes.

Miki:  What, you know this person?

 

     Yuu nodded.  "Yeah.  My family has moved several times from my
parents seeing a house and deciding they want it, so I've left some
friends behind."

Akane:  Yuu had friends other than An and maybe Arimi?  I thought he
was a loner until he met Miki.

TW Pluto:  Not all his life.  He only really started the loner thing
around age 12.  Which was only 4 years ago.
 

 
     Yuu turned to Meiko and asked, "Is that Miki's boyfriend?"

Madoka:  Gets right to the point, doesn't he?

Yuu:  I did this in the MB anime too.  I like to know what I'm dealing
with.

 

*****************
 
	Everyone filed into the classroom and was quite surprised to see
that Namamura-sensei, aka Na-chan, was not there that day.  Instead a very

Akane:  Who is Namamura, and what has he done with Namura-sensei?

Bailesu:  The author can't spell today.
 

groggy Kyoko-sensei was apparently substituting.  Except that she was

Madoka:  The same thing Kyoko did with Kyoto-sensei?

Bailesu:  While here, the author has subtitles that seemed to indicate her
name was Kyoko.

 
	 He sighed and came over, but it was too late.  The ten seconds were
up.  Luna watched the credits roll, and saw:  Original Game Concept:
Artemis.  Written using:  White Gold MOS.  Not for Sale or Rent.  Stays
Crispy in Milk.'  That idiot, Luna thought.  He's gone into video game
design instead of looking for the Tennis Warriors!

Madoka:  Hmm.  He makes money, while Luna wanders around aimlessly for
ten years.  Who's the idiot here?

Artemis:  Ya got that right, baby! 

Luna:  Oh shut up.

 

 
	When General Jinnai arrived, Youma Bigmouth was singing to herself
in the mirror.  "I don't know, about anything.  Religion..with a bagel and
lox, I bought my soul in a cereal box..."  

All:  ...

Bailesu:  I originally wrote more lyrics, but decided that would be cruel.

	 "You don't look like the Principal, sir."
 
	 He held up a Richard Nixon mask.  "With this clever disguise, I..."
 
	 "The principal doesn't look like Richard Nixon."

Scott:  Actually, the principal looks like Miwa Yoshimitsu.  Who also
looks surprisingly like Kei's father.

Bailesu:  BWAHAHAHAHA.

*************************
 
	 The Saturday afternoon Principal-Teachers conference had
Ryoko-sensei worried.  Not only had Namamura-kun been sick for a week, but

Madoka:  Why do Namura and Kyoto get referred to by their family
names, but Momoi by her personal name?

Ryoko:  Because I get a starring role and they get to be sick and a
monster respectively.  

Scott:  Maybe he's a Dark Kingdom general.  (smiles) Then if we're
lucky, we can see Miki blast him to atoms.

Miki:  You're mean!

 

	 That was enough for Ryoko.  School authority had clearly collapsed.
Namamura-kun was sick, her hot water heater had gone out, and it was that
time of the month.  It was time to get dangerous.

Akane:  Oh, no.  She's going to turn out to be a senshi, isn't she?

Scott:  Don't they have an age limit for that?  Or at least an
-apparent- age limit?

TW Pluto:  Nope.  I'm certainly older than Ryoko-sensei.

 

********************
 
	 Ryouko-sensei and Luna weren't having much luck, either.  They were
trapped in a side-hallway with two badly dressed youma in plaid suits and
a horde of drooling zombified students closing in.  Ryouko took this

Akane:  Ah, now they're zombified, instead of zombieized.

Pluto:  It's a progressive thing.  First you get Zombieized, then
zombified, then zombied.

	 "IT'S CLOBBERING TIME!"
 
	 Power struck her like a bolt from the blue.  Every wall socket in
the hallway exploded, and lightning arced from them, tossing the zombies
away from her and shredding her clothing to tiny bits.

Madoka:  Just hope that that kid with the glasses and the videocamera
isn't around.

Pluto:  Luckily, he's zombified too.  So he can't aim his camera very
well.

	 Suddenly, a voice cut through the sounds of combat.  "FORE!"  A
golf ball tore through the middle of the horde, sending panicked zombies
flying.  It was the Masked Golfer.  "Don't despair, Tennis Warrior Moon!
I stopped by the gym on the way here!"  He hurled a huge bag of cans of
tennis balls to Tennis Warrior Moon.  

All:  (ROFL)

Madoka:  Okay, that was good.  So Miki doesn't need the crescent-moon
tennis balls?

Luna:  It's not quite as effective.  [thinking]  And I don't get any
kickbacks from non-licensed products.

Usagi:  Well, I successfully slew a monster with a handy plate in a Sailor
Moon Stars episode, since my tiara wasn't throwable in that season, but
using the same basic trick.

 
	 Tennis Warrior Jupiter said, "Um, Moon...that's a mask he's
wearing."

Madoka:  But is it a Mask He Must Wear?

Pluto:  Does he look more intelligent than normal?
 

	 General Jinnai stood up.  "Moon me, and I'll sue!"  He waved his
hands and said, "Beam me up, Harpo."

Akane:  If he already has a Harpo, why did he suggest it as a name for
Bigmouth?

Jinnai:  I found a more amenable youma in the interval.

Madoka:  It still looks a bit rushed.  It could use a little more
proofreading.

Bailesu:  I'm rather bad at proofing my own work, unfortunately. Which is
why I send these stories to prereading lists like this before it goes to
RAAC :)  And it feels rushed for two reasons:  1.  I'm trying for a fast
pace so that this story doesn't have to be 20000 pages long. 2.  I don't
want any filler episodes where nothing much happens.  Sailor Moon has a
lot of episodes which are okay to watch, but don't really further the
plot.  MBoy isn't quite so bad that way, but it has its moments of filler
as well.  I'm trying to go on the no-filler diet :)

Scott:  Like I said before, I liked the idea better before other
continuities started being drawn into the fic.  Aside from that, it's
a decent fic, but I think it's starting to lose the MB feel.  This

Bailesu:  Well, it's intended to have a more farcical feel than normal MB
which is a soap opera.  I want to keep the characters recognizable, but
things are going to be more over the top.  Hopefully, once I have the cast
on stage, the group dynamics will be more clearly visible.  My main reason
for bringing on some other series is so that I don't have to kill off most
of the male cast as Generals :)  Well, one reason :)

Anyway, thanks for the detailed review!  I'm very grateful!



John Walter Biles :  MA-History, Ph.D Wannabe at U. Kansas         
ranma@falcon.cc.ukans.edu       
rhea@tass.org              http://www.tass.org/~rhea/falcon.html
rhea@maison-otaku.net      http://www.maison-otaku.net/~rhea/

War is the way of the Wyrm.  And War is easy.  Peace is the way of Gaia.
But Peace is the hardest work there is.  So why not fight an all-out war
against the Wyrm?  In the shadow of the Apocalypse, why not win at all
costs?  Because that's what the Wyrm wants.  Because in winning we will
lose.  If we triumph in the Apocalypse through terror, suffering and
betrayal, we will create a world of terror, suffering and betrayal.  And
the Wyrm will win.  The only solution is Peace.  But how do we wage Peace?
We must win by healing the world.  We must win by changing ourselves.  Or
else our salvation becomes our damnation.
--Children of Gaia Tribebook (WW Storyteller system)