Done!
On Wed, 25 Feb 1998, Shuma Gorath wrote:
So You Want To Be a Ranma Character...
So you want to join the cast of wacky, crazy, zany people that
inhabit that quiet little city of Nerima. It is a career choice that
you've thought upon for years and years, building up from an anime-filled
childhood resulting in the culminating scenario of your breakthrough into
Ranma-dom.
Great. We're all happy for you. You've passed the first test.
You've been able to sit through the boring introduction. Most people do,
however, so you're one among many. So how is it that only a few people
are able to make it into the cast of useless and not-so useless extras and
main characters of Ranma? Well, if you read on, you'll be privy to the
secrets of success of building the right persona and physical character
attributes (being diverse and widespread).
Hey! What about Gosunkugi? I haven't seen Ranma Anime, but I've heard
that he is featured more in the manga. Still, he -does- have some rare
appearances, so I humbly submit his answers.
Chapter 1: The Pre-test
So you want to be a Ranma character? Well, if you've seen the
anime series, or read the manga, then you know that no ordinary human
being would fit in. So you think you're special? Let's find out...
Below is a short, simple test that will help you determine just
how well you fit in, and how much trauma you'll have to suffer before
becoming a certifiable Ranma character.
Ready?
No.
1. Did you pick up the Shampoo reference in the previous phrase?
A. Yes
B. No
Myself: A
Gos: B (if you gotta wear candles on your head, you can't be -that-
bright.
2. Do you know who Shampoo is?
A. Of course! What kind of a loser do you think I am?
B. Head and Shoulders, or Pert Plus! What kind of loser do you
think I am?
C. I know her measurements.
Myself: C (#define WORSHIP_MODE TRUE)
Gosling: A (doesn't care, but if you had asked for Akane's....)
3. Which martial arts are you a master of? (check all that apply)
__Aikido
__Boxing
__Daito Ryu-Aiki Jujitsu
__Escrima
__Fukudo
__Gundo
__Iaido
__Jodo
__Judo
__Jujitsu
__Kempo
__Kendo
__Kudos
__Mushudo
__Ninjitsu
__Nintendo
__Segajitsu
__Shotokan Karate
__Sojitsu
__Tae Kwon Do
__Thai Kickboxing
__Voodoo
__Other________________(write in)
Myself: Anything Goes (Sorta. I've used a Neko-ken like move during
fencing meets, and assorted on-the-spot techniques, the basis of AG)
Fencing is European Kendo, so I sumbit this as an answer.
kugi: Voodoo. (Never saw him playing Nintendo)
4. Were you traumatized as a child?
A. Yes.
B. I don't know, but I do have a pronounced facial tic which I
cannot explain.
C. No.
Myself: C
Gos-boy:A (Most likely)
5. Do you have any obsessive/compulsive behaviors?
A. Yes.
B. No. Not that I am aware of, but this guy I'm stalking has
lots!
C. Out! Out vile spot!
D. No. No. No. No. No.
E. What was the question?
Myself: C (heh, heh <foams at the mouth>)
HG: B (stalks Akane, who is obsessed with the connection between
Mallets and Ranma. Yes, I know you asked for a guy, but she's tomboyish
enough...)
6. Are you normal?
A. Normal is such a vague term.
B. What the <expletives> kind of question is that?!
C. Yes. Just like the Cleavers.
D. You bet.
Myself: B
Gos: A
7. How much anime have you seen?
A. Hunh? How do you pronounce that?
B. A fair amount.
C. I'd shrivel up and die without my anime.
D. Isn't that that show with the four amphibians with the Italian
obsession? Or was it that Strong Changing Warrior thing?
Myself: B
Mr. G: B (lives in Japan, but is concerned with other things...)
8. Do you know who Ranma Saotome is?
A. He's my second cousin.
B. He's the main character of Rumiko Takahashi's "Ranma ."
C. Is this a trick question?
D. No.
Myself: B
Gos: B
9. Do you know about the cursed springs of Jyusenkyo?
A. Been there-Seen 'em-Done that.
B. Aaaaaahhh!!!! I'm a GIRL!!!!
C. My Perrier can be cursed?
D. No.
Myself: B
Gos: D
10. Are you sure you want to be an anime character? The results could be
hazardous to your health...
A. YES!
B. Anime? What's that?
C. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea...
Myself: A
Guess who: A (in fact, he is one!)
Scoring:
<snip>
Now, add together all your points, then match your results with
the following result table. Good luck!
300 - 201: Oh my! You must be one of the main characters!
200 - 151: Stop lying.
150-101: Really, we mean it. Stop lying.
100 - 91: You are ready for the trials and tribulations known only to
Ranma characters - or masochists. Take your pick.
90 - 81: Excellent score, young grasshopper. To pass to the next level,
you must take this pebble from my hand...
80 - 71: Wow. You are the very definition of "otaku." Just don't flaunt
it, buddy...
70 - 61: Some people are slower at finding their inner Ranma. Persevere
o-foolish one!
60 - 51: I guess you found your inner Ryouga. Now find your way back... I
dare you...
50 - 41: You got lucky, punk.
40 - 31: Quit the hentai crap. You're no Happosai.
30 - 21: Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers is not anime.
20 - 11: Anime is pronounced "ah NEE may."
10 - 0: Yes Virginia, there is a Spring of Drowned Village Idiot.
0 - -100: You're one of those people that have to tell themselves to
breathe, right?
Yay! a 76. <rubs knuckles against chest>
Gos: 55. Ryoga? I've found Ryoga?!<begins chanting, and waving wards at
me>
So you've finished the test. If you've scored appropriately (i.e.
90 or above), you're living in the proverbial times and are completely
consciences of what you're about to embark upon. If not, don't worry. We
could always use a few extras around.
Ukyou: Good, sugar. We need a couple of expendable ... er, I mean extras
trapped in a burning building while getting straifed with ki-blasts. TAKE
HIM AWAY, BOYS!
No! Wait a minute! What're you doing? Let me go! NOOOoooo...
<hapless FFMLer is dragged away, kicking and screaming>
* * * * * * * * * *
Ethan Tsai
1 N. College Street
Northfield, MN 55057
TSAIE@Gridley.ACNS.Carleton.edu
http://public.carleton.edu/~tsaie/ethan.html
Quote of the day:
"You do not lead by hitting people over the head-that's assault, not
leadership."
--Dwight D. Eisenhower
-Jason "Meow" Liao
-------
NOTICE: Looking for Hyper-Dimensional Mallet. Will pay reasonable price.
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