Warning: Okay, now this is offensive. Don't read this if your
offended by offensive stuff. I mean really this is pretty offensive.
It's just...just...offensive.



A Totally Non-sensical Tripe production

Of a Ryoucilo film

Girth vs. Length

Ranma was walking down the street when he heard the familiar cry of
"Prepare to die Saotome!"
Ranma sighed and looked up. Of course it was Ryouga who was coming
down at him with a kick. Ranma jumped out of the way of the kick which
shattered the concrete. Ranma was really getting irritated. Ryouga
constantly attacked him and he just never thought about how Ranma felt. It
wasn't his fault that the idiot had followed him to China! It wasn't his
fault that
Akane didn't love him! While Ranma was in his reverie Ryouga struck at him
with his fist. Ryouga's fist connected with Ranma's nose. Ranma's nose broke
under the pressure. Ranma took a few steps back clutching his nose. He drew
his hands
from his nose and stared at Ryouga with a look
of deep hatred. Ranma was now extremely pissed.
---
"This is all your fault Ranma!"
Ranma  was standing in the hospital room with a reidiculously large band aid
on his nose.
"Ah shut up P-Chan!"
Ryouga was lying in the bed and both his arms were in casts. The doctor said
that Ryouga
would have to wear the casts for a couple of weeks.
"What am I gonna do now?! How am I gonna get by now?!"
"Get Akari to look after you. God, you're such a dope!"
"Oh, yeah."
There was a long silence and Ranma decided to leave. Just before he went out
the door  Ryouga said,"Wait!"
"What?"
"There is something that you could do for me."
"What?"
Ryouga blushed and mumbled something.
"What did you say?"
"I need someone to help me go to the bathroom."
Ranma acked and shook his head 'no'.
"What's the big deal?! All you gotta do is direct it!"
"I am not touching it!"
"Please!"
"Ask Akari to do it."
"Are you nuts?! I can't show it to her! We aren't even married!"
"Ugh. No way am I gonna do it!"
"You're the one who put me here! You owe it to me!"
Ranma cringed at that. He had broken Ryouga's arms and he couldn't help, but
feel paritally responsible.
"Oh alright."
"Great. Uh, I gotta take a leak now."
Ryouga got up out of the bed and walked over to the bathroom. Ranma followed
him and than something came to his mind,"Oh my god! Am I gonna have to
wipe?!"
Ryouga stopped and gave Ranma an evil smile.
---
After Ryouga was finished Ranma let go of it and  pulled up Ryouga's  pants.
Ranma shuddered and silently hoped that he wouldn't have to do that very
often.
"Hey, Ryouga I just want you to know that even though I'm helping you out
with this I won't help you out with stuff that ain't in the bathroom."
Ryouga looked at him questionably,"What do you mean?"
"You know what us guys do when we're alone."
"Uh, what do you do when your alone Ranma?"
"You don't do that?"
"Do what?"
"Err... Nothing."
Ryouga shrugged and said rather confidently ,"I hope you weren't too jealous
Ranma."
"Of what?"
Ryouga motioned towards his crotch.
"What? Are you kidding me? Mine's bigger."
"Yeah right! C'mon show me!"
"What are you crazy?!"
"No! Your lying!"
"Oh, yeah! Well, I'll prove I'm not lying!" Ranma dropped his pants.
"See!"
Ryouga looked at it and said,"It isn't bigger! It's just longer!"
Ryouga dropped hi pants as well.
"See! Mine's got more girth than yours!"
"Hey! Length is more important than girth!"
"Nuh, uh. Girth is more important than length!"
"Length!"
"Girth!"
"Length!"
"Girth!"
The argument continued on like that for quite a while until Ranma 
decided to stop it.
"I've got an idea! I figured how out we can find out what's more important!"
"Well what's your idea?"
"Let's go ask a bunch of women what's more important! They should know!"
Ryouga thought about it and grinned.
"Hey you're right that is a pretty good idea!"
"Let's go and find out that length is more important than girth!"
"Hey! Girth is more important!"
"Length!"
"Girth!"
---
Nabiki was sitting on her bed when she heard the knock at her door. 
She said,"Come in."
The door opened and Ranma and Ryouga walked in. Ryouga had  his arms
in casts and they both had large red marks on their faces. It looked like
they had been slapped several times.
Nabiki asked,"What happened to you guys?"
Both martial artists said, "Don't ask."
"What do you two want?"
Ryouga said,"Can you promise us that you won't slap us?"
Nabiki thought that it couldn't be that bad so she said okay.
Ranma said,"What's more important girth or length?"
Nabiki had wished that she had not made that promise.
"You guys are disgusting!"
Ryouga said,"Please we have to know!"
Ranma said,"Yeah! We just gotta know!"
An idea came to Nabiki's machiavellian brain. 
"Say, if you want me to tell you which one is more important you're going
to have to show me."
"What?" The not so bright duo shouted.
"Yes. You're going to have to pull 'em out."
Ranma and Ryouga looked at one another and there need to know overwhelmed
their mortification.
"Okay," they said.
Nabiki smiled at them brightly and went over to her drawer where she took
out two
gloves and a camera.
Ryouga said,"What are the gloves for?"
"I don't want to touch them directly."
Ranma said,"Hey, what's the camera for?"
"Two things. The first one is so that It will show an accurate account of
the studies that we will be doing."
"What's the second."
Nabiki placed on the gloves and said,"Oh, you'll find out later."
---
Ranma and Ryouga were sitting on his futon arguing over who was going to win
their contest. 
"Length!"
"Girth!"
"Length!"
The door to the room opened and Nabiki waltzed right in. Ranma and Ryouga
jumped
up. They were both incredibly excited and wanted to know the results.
Nabiki smiled and said,"Simmer down guys. There is some good news and some
bad
news."
"What's the bad news?" Ranma asked.
"The results were inconclusive."
Ranma and Ryouga looked very disheartened at that.
Ryouga spoke,"So what's the good news?"
"Oh, the photos of the examination are in perfect condition! I got some
pretty good shots."
Nabiki took out the photos and showed them to Ranma and Ryouga. There were
several shots of Nabiki examining them and some other shots of the boys
exposed
packages.
Ranma asked,"So why's that good news?"
Nabiki laughed,"Ranma. Ranma. This is perfect blackmail material."
Ranma and Ryouga's jaws dropped to the floor.
"If Akane or Akari sees these imagine what they would think?"
Nabiki laughed a long and hollow laugh. Ranma and Ryouga looked at one
another
and knew that girth and length didn't matter. They were both schmucks.

THE END

Until I find better things to write about. Ja ne.