Author's rant: If you haven't already read part one, do so now. It isn't
neccessary, but enhance your enjoyment of this installment.

I had some serious problems with this one. I was going for black comedy with a
kind of tragic ending, but I think I went too heavy on the comedy and not
enough on the black. C&C desperatly asked for.

Lunatic Fringe Fanfic Productions {Whoa... the colors...} is proud to
present...


The Rose Distilled.
-by Matthew Giglia, the Executive Goofball.

"But earthlier happy is the rose distilled, than that which, withering on the
virgin thorn, grows, lives, and dies in single blessedness."

-"A Midsummer Night's Dream," Act I, Scene I, line 76.


"OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!! Ranma-sama! Your darling Kodachi is here!" <GLOMP>

"Aw geez... Kodachi... could you please... ya know... kinda get off me?" Ranma
got enough of this from Shampoo and Kuno. It was annoying after awhile, being
constantly ambushed in the streets.

Plus, that skin-tight leotard of hers did strange things to him...

"Why of course, Ranma-sama." Kodachi could afford to be generous. After all,
here was Ranma-sama, and she had him allllll to herself. None of those other
wicked, wicked girls around to steal him away from her loving arms. She
released him, but stayed close. VERY close. "Tell, me Ranma -sama, how may I
serve you today? Perhaps you'd like a guided tour of the Kuno estate. I can
show you some very..." Kodachi traced a finger up one of Ranma's well defined
arms. "...cozy places. Nice, quiet... intimate... corners of the mansion where
nobody ever, ever goes." She pressed herself ever closer to Ranma as she
spoke, using her taut, muscular figure to it's maximum advantage. "Would you
like that, Ranma-sama?" she purred into his ear.

"Ah... um... guh... that is... ah...er..." Ranma's brain had gone into stand-
by, as it almost always did in situations such as this. He contemplated trying
to push Kodachi off him, but that would require laying hands on her, and she
would like it wayyyyy to much.

Unusually, he managed to come up with a viable escape plan. As usual for his
plans, it was quite lame.

"I... uh... gotta go!! Yeah, that's it! I, um, have this...thing! This
whole... um... big... martial arts thing! Yeah, I have to go and, ah, satisfy
my honor!! Of course! You wouldn't want me to fail in satisfying my honor,
would you Kodachi?"

She bought it hook, line, and sinker.

"Why of course Ranma-sama!!" She stepped back and bowed formally towards him.
"Your honor is my honor, after all. Or it will be, after we are wed. Go, my
love, and fight well, full of the knowledge that your darling Black Rose will
be ever there to support you! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!!"

Ranma, naturally, had bolted right after  'Why of course, Ranma-sama.' One
never hung around Kodachi for very long if they could help it.

---------------------------------------------------

Kodachi sat in her room, gazing out the window. She let out a long, deep sigh.
She got to spend so little time with Ranma-sama. If those horrible temptresses
weren't around trying to steal him away, he always had some duel or
competition or other such thing to occupy his attention. Not that she minded;
he had to uphold his honor, after all. Still, he needed to be around her more;
why, his health was beginning to suffer! She had noticed a slightly pale and
nauseous look about him just after she had arrived. Kodachi jumped to her
feet, suddenly full of resolve. "My Ranma-sama is ill! He needs me! Why, I'll
go to the kitchen right now and cook him up a care package that will eliminate
all his woes! Worry not, my love, the Black Rose shall cure what ails you!
OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO
HOHOHOHOHO!!!!!!"  Yes, her course was clear now. She'd go and cook like she'd
never cooked before!!! And if in the course a few extra ingredients that would
make Ranma-sama more... receptive... to her were to slip into the mix, why,
she could hardly be expected to keep track of EVERYthing in her kitchen, now
could she? Especially considering the dire circumstances! "OHOHOHO
HOHOHOHOHO!!!!!!"

---------------------------------------------------

Kodachi sat... more like crumpled... on her kitchen floor, surrounded by the
remains of the meal she had worked so hard to prepare. She sniffled a few
times, trying hard to stifle the sobs. For once, her customary exuberance was
absent. She seemed... wilted. It just wasn't fair! She never got to do
anything nice for Ranma-sama! Why, here she'd gone over to the Tendo house
with nice hot, steaming platters of her gourmet cuisine, and that violent
Akane girl had the temerity to accuse her of trying to seduce Ranma-sama! Of
all the nerve! If she were going to seduce Ranma-sama, that was her own
business! And then that chinese bimbo with her peasant ramen had shown up, and
that nasty, nasty okonomiyaki hussy, and they'd fought and they'd fought and
they'd fought and Ranma had never paid any attention to her at all and now her
cooking was ruined and there was always something that came between them and
here he was under the same roof as that Tendo girl who knows if she'd gotten
her claws into him yet and why couldn't she have just a decent chance with him
IT WAS ALL SO UNFAIR DAMMIT THAT SHE FELT LIKE....

"You just can't catch a break, can you? Poor Kodachi." Kodachi looked in
surprise at the source of the soft male voice. In the corner of the kitchen a
cloaked and hooded figure was lounging against the refrigerator, munching on
an apple.

"Who- who're you?!" Kodachi was instantly back on her feet, her ribbon out and
twirling. Just because she was depressed didn't mean she had lost her edge.
"How did you get in here?! Sasuke should have-"

"Who am I?" The figure- she supposed he was a man- took one last bite out of
the apple and flicked the core away from himself. "Ah, for that answer, Miss
Kuno, you might ask your brother. Don't count on him answering anytime soon,
though." The man began to slowly advance towards her. "Enough about me though,
let's talk about you, and more specifically, how I can... let's call it
help... you."  

Feh. Who did this idiot think he was, anyway? "As if I would require any
services that one such as you could provide." Kodachi was a little nervous
now. He just kept walking towards her, until he was just outside the spiral of
her ribbon, standing unflinchingly a quarter of an inch from something that
could cut him a thousand times before he could even twitch.

"Really?" He seemed slightly amused now. "Not even if I could give you a fair
chance at winning your ' Ranma-sama'?" Shrugging his shoulders, he began to
saunter towards the kitchen door. "Your loss, I guess."

"Wait. Perhaps I would be amenable to a deal after all." Kodachi had a lot of
doubts, but if this idiot in a overly pretentious cloak could help her in any
way... "How can you aid me?"  Well, what did she have to lose?

" A lot. And it isn't pretentious." Huh? What did he mean by-
"Your rose. The one you keep in your hair. Let me see it."
Warily, because she was really starting to get freaked now, she took the ever-
present rose out of her hair and proffered it to the stranger. "Oh, relax.
This won't hurt a bit." With that, he took out a needle, pricked his finger
once, and touched it to the deep, velvety black of the flower, leaving a tiny
spot of red. "Like I said, this'll give -and take from- you what you need to
have a fair chance at Ranma. Been nice knowing you, Black Rose."

That was IT? Some kinky blood thing with her rose? Nobody messed with her
roses but HER! SHE was the Black Rose, and- What in the hell was that?

Kodachi watched in a weird kind of fascination as the tiny spot of red on her
rose began to grow, bigger and bigger, starting to engul-

---------------------------------------------------

"So Ranma, how'd you enjoy that *gourmet feast* Kodachi cooked up for you,
hmmm?"

"Oh, c'mon Akane! Leave off, willya? I never even ate any! As if i'd get
within ten miles of that crazy girl's cook-"

"Now that's unkind of you, Ranma-san. Talking behind someone's back like
that."

Ranma and Akane turned in surprise at the new voice. Actually, that was
incorrect. It was an old voice. There was Kodachi, looking at them with a
slightly furrowed brow. "I mean, I'd have thought better of you than that." 

"Ko... dachi? 'S that you?" Ranma was vaguely startled. It *looked* like
Kodachi... but no way. For starters, she wasn't wearing that blue eye shadow.
She would never be caught dead without that. She hadn't called him Ranma-sama
either. And she was wearing something halfway decent. In fact, that blouse and
skirt combination made her look almost... cute. In a kind of Ukyo-ish way. 

"Ha ha! Of course it's me, Ranma-san." Her face brightened. "Who else would I
be?" Her face became a bit serious again. "I've come to apologize to you,
Ranma-san. You too, Akane-san. For the way I treated you last night." She
bowed formally to them.

Ranma was going into shock. Akane had long since passed it, and was heading
towards catatonic. 

*She _bowed_! And APOLOGIZED! Kodachi! Kodachi Kuno!*
"Uh, ah... hey, quit it Kodachi!" Ranma rather unceremoniously hauled her up
off the ground. "People are staring!"

"Oh dear. I'm so sorry, Ranma-san."  Kodachi looked apologetic. "Here, let me
make it up to you."  She handed Ranma a food carton. "I picked this up at that
delightful Nekohanten! I understand you're quite fond of their cuisine."

Okay. That tore it. There was something wrong with Kodachi, and Ranma was
going to get to the bottom of it. "Hey, c'mon Kodachi. What the heck's goin'
on with you? I mean this isn't like 'the Black Ro-' " Ranma stopped. She
seemed to have placed a *red* rose in her hair. "Alright, Kodachi," said
Ranma, grabbing her by the shoulders. It was time to abandon the subtle
approach. He stared straight into her eyes. "I wanna know *exactly* what-"

Ranma stopped rather abruptly. Her... eyes. It was said they were the windows
to the soul. "Ranma-san?" said Kodachi quizzically.

Looking into Kodachi's eyes, Ranma saw her entire being. He saw a kind,
considerate soul. He saw someone who loved him, and respected him, but not in
an obsessive, self-destructive way. A person who could be his good friend. A
person who, someday, maybe, he could possibly love.

He did not, however, see a person whose name had been Kodachi Kuno.

The End.


Part Three is coming soon. It features Happosai, and it's incredibly funny. By
my standards, at least.