(Our hero, Shana Illudin, comes home from school munching on a burger.
Haruka and Michiru follow her in and they all take their seats on the
Sacred Sofa. Michiru flips on the TV and the jaws of all three drop.)

Shana: ANOTHER Thinker fic!?
Haruka: (splutter)
Michiru: Already? (Michiru tries to change the channel, but sees that in
her spluterings, Haruka has doused said remote in Coca-Cola and said remote
is now a paperweight.) Oh, great!
Shana: Thanks a lot.
Haruka: I TOLD you not to tell me stuff like that when I have my mouth
full.

----------

From: bob w <winkstwo@mail.sssnet.com>
To: EternalLostLurker@worldnet.att.net
Cc: Fan-Fiction Mailing List <fanfic@fanfic.com>
Subject: [FFML] [FFMML][Sorry-FIC] LAST FAN-FICTION FOR A WHILE.

Michiru: Last fic! YAAAAAAY!
(All rejoice)

Date: Monday, December 15, 1997 9:20 PM

Sorry-Fic = This is a story is send to people to you maked mad or
upset. Hope, that is takes, me of the Idotic List of Your Mind.
Any why..this is going to be the last Fan-Fiction for you and the
FFML for away. Please, C&C this.

Shana: Heh heh heh...you got it, buddy...muahahahaha.
Haruka: (cracks knuckles)
 

Sign by
Dr. Thinker 

"I'm the Steven Raliff of the Sailor Moon Universe." - Me
"I get the brusin' that I was crusin' for" - Me

Haruka: Quoting himself? That's the height of arrogance right there.

DR. THINKER'S & LOST LURKER'S MERRY CHRISTMASS
by Dr. Thinker

----DR. THINKER'S LAB, 8:30-------------------------------------
(The yellow computerized room has light up. In the middle, stands
a giant pastic Christmas tree with Cermanic and Pastic, and Salt
Cooke items on it. Dr. Thinker is red Santa Claus outfit as
Serena and Amy are wearing Santa's hats. Raye's has a big bump on
her head)

Shana: What the hell are Cermanic and Pastic?
Michiru: And salt cookies don't sound too appetizing...
Haruka: Why does Rei--Raye--whoever have a bump on her head?
Michiru: I forgot.
Shana: It's in the script.
Haruka and Michiru: Oh.

Raye: That's not going to come out after Christmas Eve.
Dr. Thinker: Sorry, just want to the end funny for the others on
the FFML. 
Lita: (Faning a couple of paper) Are you going to use me for "The
New Girl"?
Dr. Thinker: The One in which you are replace by Akane? No way.
It's must be either original favor..not Mergi-Coca.

Shana: Coca!?
Haruka: There's the problem.
Michiru: Just say NO, Thinker.

Serena: (whispers) What are you going to do now?
Dr. Thinker: May be come a villain in Okatu Leap. 

Shana: Okatu Leap?
Haruka: I think that's Otaku Leap, subtitled for dyslexics.

Serena: What are you going to give him?
Dr. Thinker: I just don't know?
Mina: (Running Up with a letter) Santa Claus?
Dr. Thinker: Nope.

Michiru: Did I miss something, or was Mina suggesting that Thinker give
Lurker Santa Claus for Christmas?
Shana: That's what it sounded like to me.

Mina: Thinker??????
Dr. Thinker: Yeah.
Mina: What in heck are you doing play Santa Claus?
Dr. Thinker: Oh, I played Santa Claus for a movie. In which
Jessus asks him to find the Christmas Ghost of Past, Future and
Present for Scorge. Santa's Christmas Carol is called. It's 4 1/2
hours long. Alway, I waiting for Mr. Lost Lurker.

Shana: I've never heard of that movie.
Haruka: Jesus, Santa, and the three ghosts all in one movie!? 

Mina: That name is more ironic than you.
Dr. Thinker: (shocked) What?
Mina: You are a bad speller and grammer working, but you make
easy story for us.

Haruka: And you make easy MST for us.
Michiru: Maybe a little TOO easy, ne?

Dr. Thinker: Yeah, but I have a road block. 
Mina: Huh? 
Dr. Thinker: I was think of vechines to fight out a pirate.

(Shana throws up her hands and produces a book from under the sofa. We see
a close-up of the cover: "Thinker-English Dictionary")
Shana: Hmm...(flip flip) vechines...vechines...hmm...
Haruka: (reading over Shana's shoulder) Aha, here it is. "Vechine (n.): A
cross between a machine and a vaccine."
Michiru: Not to be confused with Bactine, Listerine, polypropylene, or
Vaseline.

Raye: (Taking a pastic blub of the Tree) That take!
(SLASH)
(BAM)

Shana: Did Thinker's Raye learn English from Yoda?
Haruka: (Yoda voice) Butchered precious Sailor Moon characters you have!
Your ass will I kick!

Dr. Thinker: What that for?
Raye: For turn are show into Power Rangers.

Shana: Actually, I can name quite a few GOOD shows that involve machines
kicking ugly bad guy butt...(starts counting on
fingers)...Voltron....Eva...
Haruka: (wrinkling her nose) You liked VOLTRON!?
Shana: Blasphemy! I had the die-cast metal lion Voltron when I was a kid. I
was cool. (thinks about it a bit) Well...Pidge WAS pretty annoying...
Michiru: Hey, the space mice were kawaii.

Dr. Thinker: I was playing on boats for you all.
Serena: He's right. We are Sailors.
Raye: Ooooooo-Wippppppeeeeeeddd.
Dr. Thinker: (muttering) What a Grinch..and I don't mean Newt!

Shana: That's GINGRICH, not grinch!
Michiru: What's that whirring sound?
Haruka: I think it's Dr. Seuss spinning in his grave in response to that
one.

Luna: (runing) Lurker here's.
Dr. Thinker: (Takes two wrapped presents from under the tree)
Don't let them get the flu.

Michiru: Don't let the presents get the flu?
Shana: Beware of gifts with air holes in the box.
Haruka: Beware of geeks bearing gifts.
  

(Serena runs, trips, stands up and open the door)
Raye: He bringing Hikaru. ARRRGGHHH!!! They is no GOD!!!!

Shana: I don't think Lurker and Hikaru ever claimed to be God...

---OUTSIDE IN DR. THINKER LAB, AT THE TIME OF 8:15---------------
---------


A small blue and gray house. A door with a wreath on it. 

Michiru: Mmm hmm...two incomplete sentences...ten points off.

(We see Lurker and Hikaru)

Lurker: What does that nut case wants?
Hikaru: Lurker-can, he allows you to visit his headquaters. So
been nice, or no present from Santa Claus.

All: Lurker-CAN!?
Shana: Them's fighting words. Solathei Vengeance Pow--
(Haruka jumps on Shana and holds her down while Michiru pries the henshin
wand out of her fingers)
Michiru: Save your energy. You might need it.

Lurker: It take me, a long time at the Dimisonal Transport
Station from my Dimsional to his. So this better been good for
goodsake.

Shana: (singing loudly and off-key) You better not pout...you better not
cry...
Haruka: (singing)You better stop singing or I'll poke you in the eye...

(The door opens, reviewing a Serena)

Michiru: The door's reviewing Serena? 
Haruka: I'll give her two knobs up...(suddenly notices the distinct aroma
of citrus in the air) I can't believe I just said that.
Shana: Ecchi.
 

Serena: Sorry, about that remark in the Review.
Hikaru: No harm, done. Mistakes does happen.

Haruka: Oh, that Moon Princess Halation thing? Aah, it's nothing, we just
got blasted into dust, that's all. No biggie.

Serena: We has done lots of works with Sailors with the same
new...both based on the Japanese version...one of them was
American one..but change..that one, she is Queen Auroa in Fallen
Universe and Princess Sol in Mirror Universe.
Hikaru: I heard about..I think it's called "Pretty Soldier Sailor
Moon Mirror"?

Shana: You got something on your nose, Thinker...

Serena: Yep..the other is Prince Hikaru of Earth in...
Lurker: Larry Drew's "Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon"?
Serena: Lucky, guess.
Lurker: What do you have?
Dr. Thinker: (Gives Hikaru and Lurker..the two wrapped presents)
Lurker: I would what I would give me.
(Lurker and Hikaru start up rapping the gifts. Red for Lurker and
Green for Hikaru.

Michiru: Aww...color-coded.
Haruka: This is so sweet I feel my teeth rotting right out of my head.

(Both inside are gleaming Cermic chacters)
Hikaru: (Cover in Green wappering holding a small version of
herself with a Santa Hat herself) What are they?
Lurker: (Cover in Red Wappering holding a small version of
himself in a Santa Hat) Cermic version of ourself. I think we
place this one are Christmas tree at the Drome at our Dimisonal?

Shana: Now that's cute. I wouldn't mind having a widdle Cermic Lurker
hanging off my Pastic tree.
Haruka: I'm going to go wappering the presents now.
Michiru: (sings) Here we go a-wappering among the leaves of green, here we
go a-wappering so fair to be seen...

Hikaru: Will it's survice.
Dr. Thinker: I asked Terra Stephen/Sailor Earth to place a
Dimisonal Spell on it. It will be protect for changes. Ok?
Hikaru: Thanks you.
Lurker: Merry Christmas.
Dr. Thinker: Merry Christmas.
(Lurker and Hikaru walk slowy as we start to fade out. As soon as
they reach the door. We fade out) 
THE END

Haruka: That was beautiful.
Shana: Yeah. Especially the part where they faded out.
Michiru: (sniffles and dabs at her eyes)

--------------------------------------------------------
Was that fun? Like it..E-Mail me at WINKSTWO@SSSNET.COM
---------------------------------------------------------

Michiru: I had fun. Hey...(pulls two presents out from under the sofa, one
wrapped in red and the other in green; hands the red one to Shana and the
green one to Haruka) Merry Christmas!
Shana: Aww! (tears open the present, holds up an authentic Sailor Solathei
UFO catcher doll) *gasp* I'm in the UFO catchers now!
Joyjoyjoyjoyjoyjoyjoyjoy! (does backflips around the room)
Michiru: Well...actually...I made that out of felt.
Shana: (stops in mid-flip) Oh.(admires the doll a bit) Well, it's still
kawaii. Thanks!
Michiru: Don't mention it.
(Meanwhile, Haruka has been experimentally shaking her present)
Shana: Hey, Haruka, open yours up! I wanna see what she got you!
Haruka: Sure! (She unwraps the package to find a plain white box. She opens
the lid...peers inside...turns bright red, sweatdrops, and coughs.)
Um...heh...hrm...
Michiru: (grins evilly and drags Haruka away) You're welcome.
Shana: Oh, you crazy kids. Have fun.

--fin

--Sailor Solathei