It's A Wonderful Life... I Guess

By Lord Archive

I didn't like quite how everyone got the better end of the deal, except
Ranma, if he was never born in Cindy's 'It's a wonderful spamfic', so here
is another possiblity.

Archive (smacks his head) Duh! I deleted the original. Oh, well rewrites
opening.

------------------

Ranma sat at the bridge, feeling his life has caused everyone more trouble
and they'd be better without him. He fingered a cerimonial blade, chosing
to save the others from more trouble by removing the source, himself.

"Is that what you really want?" asked a man from behind Ranma.

"It doesn't matter what I want, they'd be better if I was never born,"
Ranma said gloomily, not caring that he doesn't even know this guy.

"Would Akane really be happier without you? What about Ukyou, Ryoga,
Shampoo, you're parents, and everyone else, would they truly be happier?"

"Just who are you?"

"I'm Clairance, your gaurdian angel. I know everything about you. I'm here
to help."

"Hah! If you're really some gaurdian angel, then you can make it so I was
never born."

Clairance shook his head, "If that's you're wish?"

"It is," Ranma said coldly.

"All right, it's done. You've never been born. Care to see what that wish
has caused the people you care about?"

"Sure, whatever," Ranma replied, unconvinced.

"Let's start with you're parents," Clairance said raising his arms and
snow engulfed them.

"What the?! It's to warm for snow. Where are we?" Ranma stammered,
confused.

"Take a look and tell me."

Ranma glanced around, they were at the cemetary that holds the Saotome
clan's family plot. He also saw his Mom looking down on a grave.

"Why don't you go talk to her? Just remember you've never been born. She
is not really your mother, now."

Ranma nodded dumbly as he walk towards the grave. "Hello, miss?" he
called.

"Oh, hi," Nodoka replied, not looking up from the grave.

"I was wondering, um, what relation do you have to Saotome family line?"
Ranma asked, using the times he acted as Ranko to preform a good act of a
stranger.

"My late husband was Saotome Genma," she replied sadly.

"Late?" Ranma squeeked. "Um, er, can you tell how he died?"

"May I ask who you are asking these questions?" She looked at Ranma
angrily.

"S-sorry, my name is Saotome Ranma. I'm just interested in events in my
clan."

"R-Ranma, we planned on naming our first child Ranma. But, I've never had
children... When we married, he promised to father my children. Promise to
committ Seppuku if I didn't get pregnant in twenty years. That was a month
ago... when his time ran out. I would of overlooked it if it weren't for
all the other dishonorable things he's done. I wish, now, I never made
that promise. I love him... and I killed him." Nodoka collapsed into
Ranma's arms and started crying.

--------

Ranma returned to Clairance after putting 'his mother' into a cab.

"Convinced yet?" Clairance asked.

"So Pops dead, and Mom is lonely. Mom will get use to it. Pop deserved it.
The others are better off."

"Oh really?"

Snow once again swirls around them. This time they are at someplace Ranma
has never been to.

"Why are we here?" Ranma asked.

"Ask that box over there," Clairance replied.

Ranma shrugged, wondering how he'd effect Tsubasa's life worse. He walked
over to the box and lifted it's top. He was shocked at who was inside.

"Close it, I don't want... them to find me?" Ryoga stammered, scared.

"Whoa, who would you be hiding from?" Ranma asked.

"My fiancees."

Ranma blinked. "Fiancees? Who are you're fiancees?"

"Close the box you idiot! They'll find me."

"Wait let me guess... Akari..."

Ryoga blinked and nodded.

"...um... Shampoo?"

Ryoga nodded.

Ranma shook his head. "Anymore?"

Ryoga nodded, "U-Ukyou."

"Let me get this straight, you're engaged to Akari, Shampoo, and Ukyou?
How?"

"Will you leave, they'll find me."

An explosion behind Ranma caused him to drop the lid.

"Airen? Where are you airen? Shampoo wants date?" Shampoo said, her left
arm dangled at her side.

Ranma was stupedified for a moment at what could have happened to
Shampoo's arm. Then he realized Ryoga must have crippled it when he
unwittingly defeated her. "Ah, I don't know of anyone named 'Airen,'
maybe if you desribe him I could tell you where he is."

"Tall, big strong, husband of Shampoo's and wears a bandana."

"Nope, haven't seen 'im. Sorry."

Shampoo ran through another wall calling, "Airen? Where is lost-airen?"

Ranma shook his head and lifted the lid. "You crippled her arm?"

Ryoga nodded.

"Where is that jackass!"

Ranma dropped the lid. He knew he didn't want to turn around.

"Have you seen an idiot wearing a banadana wondering around?" Ukyou asked
holding a serrated giant spatula.

"Um, no."

"He abandoned me again! Wait until I get my hands on that jackass," Ukyou
snarled, running off.

"What happend with her?" Ranma asked, lifting the lid.

Ryoga sighed. "We were friends as children... She asked me if I wanted to
marry her... I thought we were just playing around, so I said yes... I was
only seven, how was I suppose to know she take it personal when... I... I"

"Got lost."

Ryoga nodded sheepishly.

"You also defeated Akari's pig right, making her fiancee number three." 

Ryoga nodded.

"Hope things work out for you, and get a back bone." Ranma walked over to
Clairance.

"Convinced yet?" Clairance asked.

"I need to see if Akane's happier first."

"If you say so. This time no one will be able to see you."

Ranma nodded as snow swirled around them.

Ranma was shocked to see Akane in a wedding dress. There were tears in her
eyes. Ranma oddly hoped those were tears of sorrow.

Nabiki enter the room, "It's time."

"Do I have to do this?" Akane asked.

"You're the that agreed to do it to save our home and family. There just
isn't enough money to be made in betting, your pictures, or any other
means. I tried."

"I know, but I don't want to marry him."

"It's his family fortune that'll allow us to save our ancestral home,
and keep Dad and Kasumi from starving."

"I guess, I really don't have a choice but become Mrs. Kuno." Her last
words are spoken as if she also had to keep her lunch down while saying
it.

"NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!" Ranma screamed. "Take me back. I want
to be born. Everyone I know is actually happier to know me."

------------------------

Ranma was skipping back to the Tendo dojo. He was alive.

"Ranma, Prepare to Die!"

"What a glorious night it is, Ryoga." Ranma elated. Punting Ryoga into the
night sky.

He arrived at the door of the Tendo dojo to see Akane glowing blue,
standing in the doorway. "Just where have you been?"

"I was about to end it all. Kill myself to solve all your problems only to
have this wonderous fellow show me that without me, you'd have to marry
Kuno."

"W-what?" Akane stuttered, her aura flickering. "You were going... I would
of... What are you talking about?"

"Nothing to concern yourslef over." Ranma handed Akane the ceremonial
knife. "I was just shown that no matter how bad things have apparantly
happened because of me, that things can be much worse without me."

Akane looked dumbly at the ceremonial knife, <He was going to... To solve
my...> "Ranma what the hell did you think you were doing?" She ran after
him.

In the distance a bell rang, as Ryoga collided with it.


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Author's Note:
Me and my late night fics that shouldn't have writen fics. Oh, well,
hope you enjoyed it.

In 'It's a wonderful spamfic' fic by Cindy Toler had everyone being
happier because Ranma didn't exsist, which I didn't like that idea too
much so... I wrote my own version.

Characters, except Clairance, belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and a bunch of
other companies. They are used without consent.

Clairance belongs to someone and also used without consennt.


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