Two Fifty Seven: A Piece of Ranma Fanfiction Author's Notes: Well, I've decided to make Ross's life in Nerima a living hell. :-) Ross in cursed form is known as 'Hentai Ross' This next little 'episode' is a doozy, so hang on and pay attention... C&C is welcome, and flames aren't. Enjoy. :-) ======================================================================== Two Fifty Seven: A Piece of Ranma Fanfiction Episode 2 Lost in a Perverted Land "Come on Ranma, we're going to be late!" Akane said, running down the street which led to Furinkan High School. "I know, I know... hey Ross, you comin' or what?" Ranma looked over his shoulder while he was jogging to find the exchange student snoring against a fence. "...airline food... doesn't sit well with ol' *zzz* Rossy..." The boy muttered in his sleep. Ranma turned around and yanked Ross from the fence, causing him to wake up. "Geez, you act like you didn't get any sleep last night." Ranma said, walking in front of Ross. "I didn't. After that little water incident, dinner came back to haunt me... big time." Ross grimaced at the thought of the amount of time he spent in the bathroom last night. "Man... that purple stuff even came out purple..." Akane stiffened at that last remark, but kept on walking, which was a good thing for Ross Griffmoy. "How far is it to..." *SPLASH!!!* Ross had been walking calmly down the street, when he was blindsided by cold water. Hentai Ross looked around wickedly, and saw that an old lady who had been clearing out water with a pail accidentally splashed him. "I don't like 'em old..." Hentai Ross muttered, and looked down the street to notice Akane. "Oh Akane, I... uh, wanna ask you somethin'." "What is it, Ross?" Akane had made it to the front gates of Furinkan High School, and was already headed in. Hentai Ross didn't care, though. "Will you let me touch your br-" Ranma clamped his hand over Ross's mouth before he had a chance to get himself hammered for free. *BLOOP BLOOP BLOOP* Ranma emptied the thermos of hot water over Ross's head, making him sane once again. Ross looked at his hands quizzically, and kept on walking. "It happened again, didn't it?" Ross asked. "Uh huh. If I hadn't of stopped ya, she woulda knocked you into next week." "Really?" "Trust me." Ranma said all too knowingly as the two finally made it to Furinkan. They walked past the front gates as Ranma and Ross were still talking. "I think I'm losing control." Ross said. "Huh?" Ranma was confused. "With my curse. Yesterday I was able to stop myself, somewhat. Now, I can't... if this happens today, I could be in deep trouble." Ranma nodded. "Well, I just hope you have better luck with water than I do... although, I usually get splashed where you did... ah, nevermind, let's go." Ranma and Ross were ready to head inside when a voice stopped them. "Who are you to accompany the lovely Akane Tendo?" Tatewaki Kuno said from across the courtyard. Ross, being the newcomer, turned around. "Are you talking to me?" "Yes, heathen, I am talking to you." "Why are you insulting me? I didn't do nothing..." Ross said. "Akane Tendo need not be harassed by the perverted likes of you..." "Give it a rest, Kuno." Ranma said, placing his books to the side. "If you wanna get your butt whooped AGAIN, just ask." "I can handle this, Ranma." Ross said, pausing to scratch his head. "Kuno... I don't know what you heard, but in no way am I a pervert. You've got me confused with someone else, I think." "You make excuses for you know that you are wrong." Kuno stated flatly. "Now, apologize to the fair Akane before you suffer the Blue Thunder's wrath!" *KRACKOOM!!!* "Where the hell did that lightning come from?" Ross wondered aloud. "I've got nothing to apologize about, Kuno. I didn't do anything in the first place." "Liars do not sit well with thee. Before I make you suffer, it is only courtesy to ask of your name." Kuno said, drawing his Kendo Sword. Ross gulped. "Ross Griffmoy, exchange student from the United States of America." "In that case, Ross... prepare to taste thy blade!!" Kuno went into his multi slashing sword technique, and Ross ran. He ran for dear life. "HEY... STOP SWINGING THAT DAMN... WATCH WHERE THE HELL YOU'RE SWINGING... WHOA... OUTTA THE WAY, I NEED RUNNING ROOM!!!" "He's running from KUNO?!" Ranma said, very surprised. Ross, in fact, was dodging Kuno's blows as well as he could, until he accidentally ran into someone who happened to be drinking a glass of water. *SPLOOSH!* Hentai Ross was pissed. Someone had just called him a pervert, and he was, but he liked hiding it. It made the girls heave and jiggle more when they got pissed and beat the crap out of him. He turned around to face Kuno, looking VERY angry. "You." Hentai Ross growled. "You shall refer to me as Upperclassman Kuno, Ross Griffmoy." Kuno had dropped his fighting stance. "Perhaps you 've decided to apologize to Akane Tendo... very well, I-" "No, I haven't. Hell, I was gonna squeeze those melons like I've never squeezed before." The crowd gasped, and Kuno began to fill with rage, but Hentai Ross didn't care. "But that's besides the point, 'cuz her hooters are always gonna be around, so I can squeeze them whenever I get the chance. Kuno... Blue Thunder, Red Lightning, Purple Star..." "That's Shooting Star, naive." "Whatever. Here's the deal... you cross Ross Griffmoy, I open up a special brew of Grade A whoopass just for you. Ok?" Kuno growled with rage. No one had ever insulted him in such a manner, except for Ranma, but he was pretty much used to that. No, Kuno was angry because this newcomer, this _exchange student_ had insulted him on his first day. And the Blue Thunder was ready to make him pay. He did not announce his attack, but he didn't need to. As Kuno charged forward, Hentai Ross simply dropped to his knees, and threw a straight jab... to the groin. "... that... was... cowardly..." Kuno said an octave higher than usual, right before he passed out. "Super Fist To Da Nads, two points, I win, you lose." Hentai Ross stated. "Well, at least he didn't lose." Ranma said, leaning up against a tree. Hentai Ross then noticed the crowd of girls which had gathered to watch the action. He began to drool. "Hey ladies... can I get some?" Hentai Ross asked, arms outstretched, with a lecherous leer on his face. He was promptly flattened for his attempt. "Oh man... that will DEFINITELY leave a mark..." Ranma muttered as he went to help his friend. Twenty minutes and some hot water later.... "Sorry Ranma." Ross and Ranma were standing in the hallway, both holding buckets of water across their shoulders. "Don't worry about it... I'm kinda used to it... wait a sec." Ranma heard some familiar running, along with a growl of sorts. "RANMA SAOTOME, PREPARE TO DIE!!!" A furious Ryoga Hibiki yelled before running down the hallway. "What'd I do now?!" Ranma yelled as he dodged a few of Ryoga's lethal bandannas. Ross simply hit the floor, remembering a survival technique from long ago. "Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned..." Ross began. "Geez Ryoga... calm down... I sure whatever happened I didn't do it!!" Ranma frantically said. "You have made my life a living hell, Saotome!!" Ryoga yelled. "You are-" "Why?" Ross asked, still on the floor with his arms over his head. "Who are you?" Ryoga asked. Ross sat up and looked at the scene while Ranma was glad that Ryoga wasn't in his berzerker rage at the moment. "Ross Griffmoy, exchange student." "Oh... well anyway, what do you care? You didn't have you life ruined by this... this CAD!!" Ryoga exclaimed, jabbing a finger at Ranma. "What exactly did he do?" "He... uh, well, there's that time when he... and then there's..." Ryoga was sure he had a good incident to recall when Ranma ruined his life, but he didn't quite remember what it was. "I just remember what it was... ah, nevermind." Ryoga sat down on the floor, while Ranma had a weird look on his face. Ranma thought. "Man, it's only been two days, and already I've been whacked by a hammer, attacked by a freaky kendo sword carrying freak, and stomped by a pack of girls..." Ross sat up and leaned up against the wall. "It's a lot more exciting than back home." "Heh... that's not that much." Ranma stated. "You'd know, Ranma." Ryoga said. "So, Ryoga, what's with the backpack?" Ross asked. "Well... I kinda get lost a lot." Ryoga said sheepishly. "A lot? Hell, you get lost goin' to the bathroom." Ranma added. "Shut up, Ranma." Ross laughed at that remark, and the three talked until Miss Hinako let Ranma and Ross back into class. Ryoga was also allowed to sit in as well, being that he was on school grounds. "Class," Miss Hinako began, "we have a new student today, and he is from America. Please welcome Ross Griffmoy." Ross gave a meager wave, while some of the girls whispered 'Pervert' back and forth. Ross frowned. "I was hoping he wouldn't be a delinquent, but he's already arrived late along with Ranma Saotome." Ross frowned again, while Ranma just looked around. "Ross, you can take a seat in between Ranma and Akane." Ross walked to his seat, and prepared for the lesson to go on. It went by pretty fast. Before Ross knew it, it was lunch time, and everyone gathered in the courtyard to eat. "Damn, no lunch for me." Ross muttered. "Don't worry, I brought you leftovers from last night!" Akane said cheerfully. Ranma gulped as Ross was handed his 'food'. "Gee... thanks, Akane." Ross said, tossing on a smile. Ross took a deep breath and shoveled in his food as fast as he could, hoping not to taste it at all. Then, it got stuck on the way down. "Gaaaa... *cough cough* ...whoa... what a rush." Ross began to stare blankly at the ground until a person tapped him on the shoulder. "Hiya Ross!" Ross turned around slowly, and cocked an eyebrow. "Hey Ucchan!!" Ranma said, which caused Ross to be even more confused in his Akane-meal induced state. "Ranma," Ross began, "Ukyo's a girl." "I dress up like a guy at school... it's a long story." Ukyo said, and Ross nodded. "Whoa... I gotta go to the bathroom." Ross said, feeling the meal he just ate come back to haunt him... again. Ross walked off and headed for the bathroom, but not before he noticed something... "BWEEE!!" A black pig clad in a black and yellow bandanna squealed. Ross looked at it wide eyed. "Hey there pig, whatcha doin' on school grounds?" "BWEE BWEEE BWEEEEEE!!!" The pig squealed again, pointing his snout over to a familiar backpack and an umbrella. "Hey... that looks like Ryoga's backpack... I wonder if that's his umbrella too?" Ross lifted the backpack easy, but his face slammed into the ground when he went for the umbrella. He decided to leave it alone. "Ok pig, I gotta go find Ryoga and get him his stuff..." Ross's bowels began to move as he spoke. "AFTER I go to the bathroom." Ross stalked off to the bathroom, with the little black pig following him. Fifteen minutes later... "Whew... thought I was gonna die." Ross muttered as he exited the bathroom stall. He almost fell on his face again as he noticed the little black pig in the bathroom with him. "What the?! Ah, I've seen it all already..." Ross flicked on the hot water in the sink, but his watch fell off. "Damn watch..." Ross bent down to pick it up, as the little pig scampered up onto his back, and in the sink. "What in the... OH MY GOD!!!" Ross immediately hit the floor again, as Ryoga was buck naked in the sink. "Damnit man, put some clothes on!! How the hell did you get in the sink anyway?! What happened to that pig?!" "Can you just hand me my backpack?" Ryoga said, his face a beet red color. Ross tossed the boy his backpack, and turned away. "Lemme guess... Jusenkyou." Ross said. "Yeah... how'd you know?" "Been there. Fell in. Got a curse. It sucks." "Really?! What do you turn into?" "I'm too ashamed to say..." "It can't be worse than a pig! I hate pigs!!" "I turn into a pervert..." "Yikes... that is bad. That would explain you getting pounded, huh?" Ryoga was finished putting on his extra set of clothes, and Ross turned around again. "Yep...I think I'd better head back now..." Ross headed out the bathroom, and Ryoga followed behind him. The day generally went on without incident, as Ross avoided cold water throughout the day. Soon after they returned home, Ranma and Ross went to the dojo. After a good amount of stretching on Ross's part, the fun was ready to begin. "Ok Ross, I'm gonna try and teach you the basics..." "Gotcha." Ranma went to demonstrate a simple side kick, and Ross went for it. "Ok, that was good, but you want to make sure you rotate your hip more." Ross executed the kick, but Ranma kept asking for him to rotate his hip more. "More." "Ok..." "More." "Ok..." "Just a little bit more..." "O-" *KRACK!!* "O--ouch. Is it supposed to hurt like this?" "That means you're doing it right. Execute you kicks like that every time, ok?" Ross still had his leg in the air, but he slowly lowered it. "All right. What next?" "More kicks..." For the next few hours, Ross was able to perfect his kicks somewhat, with Ranma egging him on. After his first lesson was done, Ross was ready for some food. "Dinner's ready, everyone!!" Kasumi said. Ross and Ranma both ran to the dinner table, sat down, and surveyed the area. Genma looked poised with his chopsticks, but both Ranma and Ross knew that he wouldn't be too much of a problem. This dinner was theirs. "Enjoy!!" Kasumi said cheerfully as she set down the dinner for the day. In approximately ten minutes, it was gone. Some of the things you would have heard in the whirlwind that was known as dinner were: "Gimme some... hey, wait, nevermind..." "Gimme back my shrimp, old man!!" "All's fair in food and-- Ross, what do you think you're doing?" "I'm eating shrimp. It's good by the way." "Thank you, Ross." "Is it all gone yet?" "Yeah, I think so... wait, there's still some rice left. Anybody want any?" After that last comment, approximately three people facefaulted, while Kasumi just smiled. ----------------------------------- "Ah, nothin' beats a good dinner, hey Ross?" Ranma said, plopping down in front of the TV. Ross stretched out and took up half of the couch. "You got that right. So, is there anybody else I should meet?" "Well, you've met Kuno, Ryoga, Miss Hinako... oh yeah, Akane's other sister, Nabiki, should be home soon. I think she was out on business when you got here." "Business? What does she do?" "Exortion, blackmail, basically anything involving money." "...ok." Just then, Soun Tendo called Ross to come see him. Ross hopped off the couch, and went to see what was up. "Ross, this is my middle daughter, Nabiki." "Hi, Nabiki." Ross smiled, but inside he felt like he was been x-rayed. "So, Ross, where exactly are you from? Daddy told me you were an exchange student, but he didn't say from where." "Maryland." "Any interesting stories about Maryland?" Ross cocked an eyebrow at the question, but shook his head. Nabiki looked almost disappointed at the fact that Ross's answer was a no. Nabiki then walked off, leaving Ross confused. Ross shrugged and headed back to the TV. "I just met Nabiki." Ross said to Ranma as he plopped back on the couch. Ranma was watching some show with girls in little sailor fukus. "Did you tell her anything?" "Where I lived. After that she was uninterested." "Good. As long as she doesn't know about your curse, she probably won't mess with ya... wait, I take that back. Just watch out, ok?" "Ok." Just then, Akane came down the stairs. "Ranma, have you seen P-Chan?" "Nope, haven't seen the pig all day." "BWEEE?" As if on cue, P-Chan appeared outside, looking around like he was lost. He probably was. Ross noticed the bandanna around the pig's neck, and immediately put two and two together. "Hey Ranma, that's Ry-" Ranma leaped over and clamped his hand over Ross's mouth. "That's right, that's P-Chan... GET IT? It's _P-Chan_." Ranma added several elbows to Ross's ribcage to get his point across. Slowly, Ross got the point. "Uh huh... yeah, P-Chan." Ross scratched his head, as P-Chan scampered up in Akane's arms and the two of them headed back upstairs. Ross waited a few moments after she was gone, and then spoke. "She doesn't know?!" "Nope, and you can't tell her either. It's an honor thing, ok?" "Ok... well, I guess I'd better go take a bath. See ya later." Ross walked upstairs. "Be sure to knock first!" Ranma called after him. Ross nodded, and continued upstairs. He walked to the bathroom door, and rapped on it a few times just to make sure, then walked in. "Empty. Well..." Ross filled up a nearby bucket with cold water, and took a deep breath. *SPLASH* Hentai Ross didn't like it when his sane side wanted to be in control. It wasn't fun for him. "Hey... what's this?" Hentai Ross said, noticing a pair of panties laying on the floor. It was almost as if someone had placed them there on purpose, but that didn't matter to him. He put them on his head, making sure that he could see out the leg openings. "Now this... this is the life..." Hentai Ross muttered, and then he suddenly yanked them off his head. "QUIT IT!!!" Ross yelled regularly. "No, why are you always ruining my fun?" Ross's curse kicked back in, and to his surprise, he smacked himself in the face. "I don't believe this!! I'm beating myself up over a pair of PANTIES!!!" Ross yelled, as he made his way to the hot water tap. "Oh no you don't!!" Ross slugged himself in the stomach, and slammed his own head into the sink. "Owie... this sucks..." Ross groggily muttered, as his hands grabbed the pair of panties and tried to strangle himself. "Quit trying to take control!! All I wanna do is have fun, grab hooters, steal panties, and grab more hooters!!" Hentai Ross said while choking himself out. He then dropped the panties, and scampered to the hot water tap to try again. "Almost there..." Ross turned on the hot water tap successfully, and stuck his head underneath, neutralizing the curse. "Damn... better avoid cold water as much as I can." Ross filled the bath full of hot water, hastily took of his clothes, and hopped in. he reminded himself. [END] Next Episode: Ross takes a trip to Dr. Tofu's to find out the true side effects of his curse, and he also stops by the Nekohanten... plus, Ranma lets him know about his fiance problem...