OK, a few notes:

1) If you're not familiar with my works, I'd REALLY recommend reading
'Ranma 1/2: Siblings', 'Sailor Moon: Shieldsman', 'Tenchi Muyo: The One',
and 'Oh! My Brother!', all of which are on my web site.

http://www.engr.usask.ca/~cja124

This fic uses those stories as source material, and you'll get really
confused otherwise.

2) Please note that although Oh! My Brother! is used as source material,
the events refered to in this fiction are NOT OMB spoilers.  This is an
alternate OMB universe.

3) Thanks to my intrepid prereader team, especially Colin, Lurker, and
Davies.

***

Turn the Page
*************
A Mega-crossover fanfiction.

All characters the property of their respective owners.  That means anyone
I didn't create I'm using without permission.  I'm not making money off of
this, don't sue me.

***

Prologue

***

"Akuma, how dare you accost Usagi-hime and Toraneko-hime in such a way!"

"Aww, Yosho, I only kissed them."

"You even admit it!"

"On the cheek!"

Princess Usagi Tsukino looked at the two fighting men and sighed.  "Men!" 
She heard a giggle from beside her and grinned at the girl who stood there.
 "You're right, Tora-chan, he is easy to set off."  She looked around her
garden and saw her reflection in the crystal wall.

Looking at the image in the crystal, she couldn't help but smirk in
satisfaction.  She was the same height as her mother now, and if the boy's
reactions were any indication, the fact that she wasn't quite as slim and
well-toned was more of a benefit than a curse.  She looked up at her face,
and once again felt glad she ditched the rabbit-ears she wore her hair in
as a child for a simple shoulder-length cut.  Pink hair and red eyes were
bad enough, she didn't need to complete the image with her own set of
rabbit ears.  She smoothed her red summer dress and smiled, and looked over
at her friend.

Toraneko's appearance was always a shock to those who didn't know her
mother.  She had light brown hair that flowed back from her face in a spiky
mane that seemed to shine with a greenish tinge at times.  Her eyes were
green and were distinguished by the slit pupil of a cat.  The short girl's
ears were slightly larger than a normal person's, and were pointed with
tufts of white hair.  She wore a simple white robe with a black belt around
her waist that accented her lithe figure.  "Watch this," Toraneko giggled,
and raised her voice. "I agree, Usagi-chan, Yosho-kun's a MUCH better
kisser than Akuma-kun."

"WHAT?!"  Akuma stopped in mid-dodge, his face showing the shock he felt. 
The handsome young man with blue spiky hair snarled in anger, and his
clothing disappeared as it was replaced with a black skinsuit embossed with
blue flames.  "Yosho..." Akuma growled, and held out his hand.  A glowing
blue ball formed, and he closed his hand into a fist, transforming the
sphere into an energy sword.

Yosho, for his part, started to back away, the blade from the Master Key
flickering out of existence.  "I didn't!  I swear I didn't!" he said in a
panicked voice.  The young prince looked frantically around, trying to find
an escape, and his long purple ponytail whipped in the air.  Finding none,
he concentrated, and little logs appeared in the air around him, forming a
force shield.  "I didn't kiss them!"  Akuma roared and began to pound on
the shield.

"Usagi-hime, Tora-hime, just what did my brothers ever do to you?" A deep
voice asked them.  They turned to look at the young man sitting on a nearby
bench. He was wearing a dark-red skinsuit and a white lab coat, but they
weren't as interesting as the shadowy visor which covered his eyes, and the
flat black surface he appeared to be typing on.  Both were tell-tale signs
that he was working with his computer system.  He blinked, and the visor
slid out of existence, the keyboard following suit.  He ran his hand
through his giant red mohawk.

The two girls exchanged a look, and grinned evilly at each other.  "But the
best kisser of them all has GOT to be Kesshu-kun," Usagi loudly spoke in a
conversational tone.  The battling men froze, and turned deadly gazes on
their shorter brother, who paled.

"CRUD!" he yelled, and summoned up a hyperspatial hole.  Seeing his
brothers coming for him, Kesshu ducked into the hole, pausing long enough
to say some parting words to the princesses.  "I WILL have my revenge." 
The hole disappeared, and another opened on the other side of the garden,
dumping out the young man.

"Come back here you creep!" Akuma howled, and ran after him.

"You...you...demon!" Yosho yelled, hot on Akuma's heels.

Akuma skidded to a stop and whirled on Yosho.  "And what's THAT supposed to
mean?" he demanded.  Within moments the three men were involved in a
full-fledged brawl.

"Usagi-hime, have you seen our boys?" a soft female voice asked.  The
princesses turned from their entertainment and blushed guiltily as the
sounds of combat filled the air.  The three women who entered the garden
exchanged wry smiles and sighed.

"Toraneko-hime, you didn't," Washu said disapprovingly.  The princess in
question blushed even deeper, and Usagi followed suit sympathetically. 
"And Usagi-hime, what would your mother say?"

"Gomen, Washu-sama," Usagi said softly.

"Gomen, Washu-sama," Toraneko echoed, then her eyes flashed and she pouted
a bit. "But it's just so much FUN!"

"She's Tsunami's daughter all right, in spirit, if not in blood," Ryoko
remarked to Ayeka.  The other woman smiled a little and nodded.

"We still have to get her back for that shojo manga prank, don't we?" Ayeka
replied.  "I've never been so embarrassed in my life."

Ryoko grinned. "Oh really?  What about the time Azusa caught you and Tenchi
making out on the throne?"  She laughed as Ayeka blushed purple.

"Not in front of the children!" she hissed, and tried to stop herself from
blushing.

"Haven't you three found them YET?" Tenchi asked, walking into the garden
in the formal robes of a Jurian ambassador.  The Second Prince of Jurai
looked around.  "We've got court in half an..." he trailed off as he heard
the brawl in progress.  "Like mother, like son," he muttered.  "YOSHO!
AKUMA! KESSHU!" he roared.

The three fighting young men didn't react at all.  In their defense, it was
unlikely they heard him, with the amount of noise they were making.  Tenchi
sighed and turned to his wives.  "Ladies?"

"AKUMA!" Ryoko called.  Nothing.

"YOSHO! Come here right now!" Ayeka commanded in her loudest voice. 
Nothing.

Washu grinned and pulled a megaphone out of a hyperspatial hole.  "Cover
your ears," she told the others, and paused to take a deep breath while
they did as she asked.  "KEEEESSSSSSSSHUUUU!"   The fighters didn't even
pause.  Washu blinked once, then twice, and then scowled.  "Why those..."

"Washu-sama? Can we try?" Usagi asked softly.  

Washu paused and made to argue, but Tenchi merely chuckled.  "Go right
ahead, Usagi-hime," he said.

Usagi turned to Toraneko. "On three.  One...two...three," she took a deep
breath, and in unison, the two young women called out to the fighters in a
saccharine tone.  "Ohh boys?"

In the blink of an eye, the three men stopped in their tracks, their arms
and legs frozen in mid-swing.  They straightened themselves out quickly
upon noticing their parents looking on.

"Hi Okaasan!" Akuma said cheerily.  "Just having a little..."

"...sparring match!" Yosho finished loudly, glaring at Akuma.  He turned to
Ayeka.  "Okaasama, it is good to see you."

"Do not even try that with me," Ayeka snarled at him.  She grabbed his ear
and dragged him off, lecturing him as they walked.  "How many times have I
told you NOT to fight with your brothers?"

"Oww!  Okaasama, that hurts!" Yosho complained.

Akuma snickered at his brother's predicament, but his own mother's teary
gaze shut him up.  "How could you, Akuma?  How could you?" Ryoko wailed. 
"I've failed as a mother, my son is such a disappointment."

"Aww...come on, Okaasan, I'm sorry I fought with Yosho, I really am..."
Akuma said, trying to placate his mother.

Ryoko stopped her blubbering and sniffled.  "Who cares about the fighting? 
You were losing!" she accused.

"I WAS NOT!" Akuma said defensively.  "I was holding back."

Her false tears disappearing as fast as they came, Ryoko snorted.  "Yeah,
right, you were getting your butt kicked, sonny boy," she said, and led him
off while critiquing his performance.

Washu finished patching up her son and shook her head in dismay.  "Why do
you get into these things?  I KNOW you're smarter than that."

"It wasn't really my idea, Okaasan," Kesshu tried to explain.  He nodded
over at the princesses.  "They kind of drafted me into it."

"I see," Washu sighed, and bestowed a disapproving glance on the two young
ladies.  "You two had better get going, your presence is required as well."
 The girls eeped and ran out of the garden.  Smirking slightly, she turned
back to her son.  "Now you, young man, we need to have a talk about you
using my computing resources to play your games."

***

Kusanagi watched his charge in the playground and sighed.  "Mamoru-kun, try
not to kill yourself, OK?"

"Hai!" the young child yelled back at him, and proceeded to hang from a bar
by his knees.  He swung back and forth, trying to catch another bar, and
started to fall as his legs slipped.  He didn't even have time to scream
before Kusanagi flew over and caught him.

"What did I tell you?" Kusanagi asked.  The boy gulped once and then threw
his arms around Kusanagi's neck, crying.  "Aww geez, Mamoru-kun, it's OK,
I'd never let you fall."  

The child wiped away his tears and smiled weakly, pulling away from the man
a bit.  "Kusanagi-sensei takes care of me," he said proudly.  He threw his
arms around Kusanagi's neck again.  "Love you, Kusanagi-sensei!"

"I love you too, Mamoru-kun," Kusanagi replied softly.  He set the boy on
the ground and pushed him back towards the playground.  "Be a little more
careful, would ya?"

"Hai!" Mamoru returned to his playing.

Smiling to himself, Kusanagi went back to watching the boy play, as he sat
under the branches of a large tree.  *He's such a good kid,* he thought. 
*Reminds me of Momiji....oh damn.* Bitter tears came to his eyes as her
tried to fight back the returning memories.

***

2000 AD

"Do you, Mamoru, take Momiji to be your lawfully wedded wife?" asked the
dazed priest.  The poor man didn't know what to make of the groom, who was
obviously not quite human.  This was almost as bad as that one party that
was interrupted by the crazed kendoist.

"I...I do," Kusanagi haltingly said.  Somewhere in the back of his mind, he
was convinced that fighting Aragami was easier than this.

"And you, Momiji, do you take Mamoru to be your lawfully wedded husband?" 
Kusanagi looked over at his bride and felt himself begin to sweat.  She
looked so radiant, it almost hurt to look at her.  The awkward young girl
of fourteen he had protected with his life had grown a few inches and
filled out some, and now was the most breathtakingly beautiful woman he had
ever seen.   His Princess Kushinada.

"I do," Momiji said smoothly, and smiled at her future husband.

"Then, I now pronounce you man and wife," the priest replied, and inwardly
sighed with relief.  "You may kiss the bride."

His heart beating a mile a minute, Kusanagi turned to his wife and slowly
lifted her veil.  He bent to kiss her softly on the lips, and the audience
cheered.

Kusanagi held the kiss for a long moment, treasuring every second of it. 
he pulled back, and looked into Momiji's eyes, and saw how happy she was as
well.  

That was the last thing he saw before the world was washed out in a
brilliant light.

***

Kusanagi felt a hand shaking him.  "Kusanagi-sensei?"  The voice became
more urgent.  "Kusanagi-sensei!"  He blinked, and looked up at the person
who was shaking him.

Mamoru looked back at him, worry etched on his face.  "Kusanagi-sensei, why
are you crying?  Did you hurt yourself?"

"Nothing, Mamoru-kun, just something in my eye," Kusanagi lied, and took a
deep breath, trying to calm himself.  He heard someone approach from behind
them and turned to see one of Mamoru's nurses.  "Sorry, kid, looks like
it's time to be Mamoru-ouji again."

"Do I HAVE to?" the boy whined.  Kusanagi nodded and Mamoru sighed,
trudging off to to his nurse like a doomed man.  Kusanagi watched the young
prince leave, and then fell back to brooding about his past.

Momiji had died then, in the event known as the Second Impact.  Kusanagi
still didn't know what had saved him from the same fate.  He supposed it
was the same mitama which had given him his powers.  He had spent days
tearing apart his surroundings, looking for any sign of Momiji, and then
later for any of the members of the TAC, but he had found nothing.

He had wandered the devastated landscape for weeks, merely shutting out his
surroundings as the pain of Momiji's loss ate him up from inside.  Kusanagi
didn't know how far he had traveled, but eventually he found a small forest
that had been relatively untouched by the blast.   

Almost by accident, he had come upon a a new ability that a bearer of eight
mitamas had - the ability to merge with a plant and become one with it.  In
a secluded lake, near what appeared to be the remains of a shrine, he had
found a large tree that had wonder scrolls tied to it.  Something about the
tree had made the ache in his heart less intense, less sharp.

Given a choice between spending the rest of his days alone, and sleeping in
this magical tree, the option was clear to Kusanagi.  Without a second
thought he merged with the tree and slept for more than a thousand years,
held in the embrace of Funaho.

Kusanagi shook himself out of his brooding with a snort.  Hiding, that was
what he had been doing.  Running away from his pain like a frightened
child.  Funaho had given him an escape, had let him submerge his pain in
her memories of another world, another life.

It was only months ago that Kusanagi had finally been awakened, by the
child he now guarded and cared for.  All he and Funaho had known at the
time was that a child who was linked intimately with the planet was
sleeping at the roots of the tree.  A child who was lost, and alone, and
needed a protector.  Funaho had almost thrown him out to help the young
boy, and Mamoru Chiba, Prince of the Earth, had met Mamoru Kusanagi.

The young prince had befriended the lonely Kusanagi, and the man had felt
some of the aching pain he still felt at Momiji's loss finally lessen. 
When the prince's caretakers had shown up, Kusanagi volunteered to become
the boy's protector and mentor.  One interview with the Neo-Queen later,
the prince had his very own guardian.

With a sigh that he felt to the very essence of his bones, Kusanagi stood,
and patted the trunk of the tree he had been sitting under, giving it a
wistful look.  It would be so nice to simply go back to sleep, to forget
his life and his memories in Funaho's embrace.  "But I guess you wouldn't
let me hide again, would you, old friend?"  A spear of light burst from a
leaf of the tree, and Kusanagi chuckled and nodded.  "Didn't think so."  He
patted the trunk again, and knelt to check the soil.  As a transplanted
tree, and a very old one at that, Funaho needed special care.  Kusanagi
didn't want to lose another friend.

Kusanagi walked out of the garden, not noticing the two pairs of eyes that
watched him.  "Will he ever recover fully?" Endymion asked his wife.

Serenity shook her head sadly.  "Would you, if I died?  Would Ares, if Rei
did?  Would Haruka, if Michiru did?"  She hugged herself as a sudden chill
swept over her, and Endymion took her into an embrace.  "Deep loves like
the one you and I share are supposed to be the greatest things in the
universe, Mamo-chan," she said softly.  "But they carry a great price. 
Part of his soul died that day, and I don't think anyone can ever recover
from that."

Endymion looked at her in shock and sorrow.  "How does he go on from day to
day?" he asked, wonder and awe evident in his voice.

"Without Funaho and Mamoru-kun, I don't think he would be able to,"
Serenity answered seriously.  She leaned more heavily against her husband
and sighed again.  "Kusanagi, Ranma, Andrew, Tarou, Tenchi, was anyone not
wounded by the events of those fifteen years?  Allowing the Second and
Third Impacts were the hardest things I ever did."

"Sometimes I wonder if this future was really worth it," Endymion
whispered.  "Did the end really justify the means?"  They turned as they
heard the crisp steps of a royal page.

"Endymion-ou?  Serenity-ouhi?" the boy began respectfully, "The court
awaits your presence."

***

"HA!  Take that, you puffed-up megalomaniacal twerp!"

"Chris, I've said it before, and I'll say it again.  You take these games
FAR too seriously."

"This from the guy who threw a week long party after finishing all ten
Phantasy Stars."

"Look who's talking!  Need I remind you of the Dragon Warrior incident?"

Chris shrugged.  "So I get into them a little more than the average guy. 
We all have our quirks, Frey."

"And Chris has enough quirks for ten of us," Skuld snickered, entering the
room.  "Why Kami-sama let you two set up Ygddrasil for playing all these
games I'll never know."  The youngest of the Norns had grown up over the
past millennia, and was now turning the heads of more than a few of the
gods.

Frey and Chris exchanged a look and grinned.  "We discovered another one of
Boss's vices," Chris explained.  Skuld gave him an inquisitive look and he
elaborated.  "For the record, it's cute girls, practical jokes, gumballs,
and number four is really good RPGs."  He held up his hands palm up in a
sort of helpless gesture.  "He's a cool guy, what can we say?"

"I still think it's your bad influence on Him and the rest of us," Skuld
muttered.

"I do my job well," Chris said smugly.  He glanced at the calendar on the
wall.  "Speaking of which, aren't I due for reincarnation soon?"

Frey sighed.  "I HATE reincarnation season," he muttered, and glanced
enviously at Chris.  "Count yourself lucky you're first on the roster, I'm
third last.   Having to babysit of all of those kids..." He shuddered, and
Chris laughed.

Skuld looked at the ground uncomfortably.  "Oniichan?" Skuld said softly,
"It's time.  She has arrived."

"Tiamat?" Chris sighed.  "Very well, let me get Rachel and Ami and we'll
go."  He paused and grinned.  "It'll be fun to see Washu-chan again, and I
think I've even chosen my parents-to-be."  He stood up and ran out of the
room.

The other two deities watched the youngest of the gods leave.  "Will he be
able to do what he must?" Skuld asked.

"I don't know," Frey said honestly.  "He seems to be OK, but you never
know..." he trailed off and spread his arms helplessly.  Skuld sighed and
nodded, and Frey watched her for a while.  "How long are you and Urd going
to tear yourselves up over this?"

Tears came to Skuld's eyes, and she looked down at the floor.  "We took
them from him, Frey.  He chose duty over love again and again, and when he
was finally to get his reward, our..." she gritted her teeth and hissed the
word out, "STUPIDITY cost him them forever."

"It was a mistake.  But was taking their places really the only answer?"

"You tell me!" Skuld yelled angrily.  "Was his sanity worth it?  Do you
want an insane-with-grief god who can freeze time and reprogram Ygddrasil?"
 She stopped and tried to calm herself.  "The souls of the two women he
loved were obliterated before his very eyes, because of Urd and I."  

"How long?" Frey repeated.  "How long must you pay?"

Skuld began to walk out the door and paused, looking back at Frey.  "As
long as he needs us."

***

"The court of King Endymion and Neo-Queen Serenity is now in session," Rei
intoned.  "I call upon Grand Marshal Kiyone of the Galactic Police."  A
middle-aged woman, her black hair now streaked with traces of grey, walked
up and knelt before the throne.

"Your Majesties, I am here to report on a matter of utmost urgency."  She
stood, and looked Serenity in the eyes.  "The Galactic Police has been
tracking an entity known as Tiamat for the past fifty thousand Earth years.
 It has come to our attention that she is now on her way to Earth."

Ranma listened intently to what was occurring, and leaned over to whisper
to his brother.  "Hey, 'Drew, looks like there's gonna be some action!"  He
winced as he felt a set of fingers dig into his arm.  He looked over and
saw Hotaru giving him a sharp look. "Gomen, Hotaru-chan."

Snickering slightly at Ranma's predicament, Andrew hissed as he felt Minako
step on his foot.  "Jeez, Mina-chan, calm down."

"Behave," she murmured to the grey-haired man.  "I don't know why I put up
with you."  Minako paused.  "Well, aside from the sex."  She giggled as
Andrew blushed scarlet.

"Have you no sense of modesty?" Andrew growled back at her, as his face
burned with his embarrassment.

Minako looked him straight in the eyes.  "This fuku doesn't have any room
for modesty."

Listening in, Ami sighed and looked up at Tarou.  "They're at it again,"
she said.  Tarou merely shook his head in dismay.

"I'll beat some sense into Andrew and Ranma later," he promised her.

The Grand Marshal continued as she tried to ignore the conversation from
Serenity's court.  "We have been able to follow and track the progress of
Tiamat.  She will reach Earth in thirty days."

Looking to the Neo-Queen for permission, Makoto stepped forward.  "What
threat does Tiamat present?  What kind of power does she have?"

"Tiamat will be the most powerful foe yet, Sailor Jupiter," a voice said
from the entrance to the courtroom.

"Aunt Susanna?" Apollo whispered to Ares.  

The red-clad man nodded slightly, and whispered back.  "Do you know anyone
else who makes an entrance like that?"

Serenity smiled as if Pluto had made a joke.  "You always say that, Sailor
Pluto," she said with a bit of exasperation.  Sailor Pluto walked forward
to the throne, bowing slightly to the King and the Neo-Queen.  The man who
walked beside her knelt before the thrones.  "Welcome back Pluto, Jadeite."

"I assume you knew about this, Pluto?" Endymion asked.

Pluto grimaced and looked embarrassed.  "In truth, I didn't.  I was
informed by a greater entity of Tiamat's threat.  Her mere presence
threatens the timeline, to a far greater degree than anything I could
handle alone."

"Who could know more about the nature of time than the Senshi of Time?" 
Haruka whispered to Michiru in low tones.  He looked closely at Pluto, and
his eyes widened in surprise.  "Look at her, she's actually flustered!"

Pluto looked over at Haruka peevishly.  "I heard that, Uranus.  There are
entities far more powerful than anything we have ever fought - the
caretakers of reality themselves."  She nodded to Jadeite, and the man took
out three objects from his pockets.  The first was a small flat screen, the
second a small mirror, and the third a bottle of water.  He placed the
first two objects on the ground, and poured the water out, making a puddle.

In the audience, the Ambassador of Jurai looked over at his wives.  "You
don't think she means THEM, do you?"

"A TV, a mirror, and a puddle?  It's definitely them," Ryoko growled, and
then smiled slightly.  "I hope Chris-chan's coming too."

"Your Majesties, I'd like to introduce Urd, Goddess of the Past and Cupid
of Love." A dark-skinned woman with platinum hair stepped out of the
television set.  She wore loose dark blue clothing that covered her torso
and arms, a red-lined blue cape, and very little else.  The cleavage of her
outfit and her belt were of the same tiger-like fur.  On her forehead she
had a dark blue inverted triangle, and similar marks on her cheekbones.  

The men in the room began to sweat.

"Belldandy, Goddess of the Present and Nature."  A pale woman with light
brown hair appeared above the mirror.  She had on billowing white clothing
that seemed to give the impression of wings, over which she had a maroon
combination vest and robe.  On Belldandy's forehead there was a thin
diamond of a slightly lighter blue than Urd's.  She smiled kindly at the
assembled people.

Out of the puddle jumped a black-haired woman who was barely out of her
teens.  She carried a long-hafted hammer over she shoulder.  Her clothing
was reminiscent of a lab coat, the way she had a red skirt that swirled
around her ankles from the back over another tight knee-length skirt.  Her
loose white tunic had two red shoulder-pads, that only enhanced the image
of a scientist.  On her forehead there was a blue rounded inverted
triangle, with point of yellow at the center.  "Skuld, Goddess of the
Future and Technology."

"And finally, Christopher Angel, God of Moments and Guardians, Protector of
the Norns..." Pluto was cut off by a deep voice.

"And snappy dresser!" Beside Skuld a tall man simply appeared, flanked by
two women wearing some extremely indecent armor.  He was well over six feet
tall, and he had short black hair.  His lightly freckled face was marked
with a dark blue rectangle, the long axis on the vertical.  He wore black
pants and a light green shirt, over which he had a dark green trenchcoat. 
"Heya."

Urd, Belldandy and Skuld barely suppressed their urge to sigh in dismay.

"THAT's a god?" Ranma said with narrowed eyes.  "Doesn't look too
impressive to me..." he trailed off as Hotaru grabbed his arm tightly.   He
looked over at her and saw the fear in her eyes.  "What is it?"

"I.." she faltered and continued, trying to explain the feeling she felt. 
"Ranma, I don't think he's someone you can beat.  They scare me."  She
nodded towards the throne, and Ranma was shocked to see the King and
Neo-Queen step down and kneel before the newcomers.

***

Washu watched the proceedings worriedly.  Something was very wrong.  She
hid behind a nearby pillar and called up her computer terminal, and frowned
at the readings she got.

Standing in the court she picked up the power signatures of Chris,
Belldandy, Skuld, and Urd, but for some reason, Skuld and Urd's signatures
came from more than one person.  She paled as she realized what the
readings meant.

She dismissed her computer and walked back from around the pillar, and saw
Urd giving her a pleading look.  

Washu nodded slightly and sent a telepathic message to Urd.  *I won't tell
anyone, but you two better tell me what's going on here.  Why are you two
pretending to be those Valkyries?  The way your 'other halves' are acting
around Chris you'd think they were his girlfriends or something!*

Pain appeared in Urd's eyes for a moment, and she closed them.  *It is the
price we have to pay for what we did to him, Washu.  Please, let it go,
I'll explain later.*

***

"Oh, please don't do that," Chris complained to the kneeling monarchs.  "It
irritates the living hell out of me.  Stand up already."

The monarchs stood and returned to their thrones.   After they sat,
Belldandy spoke.  "I don't need to ask if you intend to fight Tiamat.  That
much is obvious.  We are here to help, and to guide you."

"Guide?!" Ares shouted.  "You're gods!  Why can't you just..." he waved his
hand in an impression of a magical gesture.

"To quote a phrase I used over and over in my youth," Chris said dryly,
"I'm a god, not THE God.  We have to follow rules like everyone else, and
as much as I'd get a kick out of vivisecting Tiamat, I'm not allowed to. 
This fight is yours, not ours."

"I told you there'd be some action!" Ranma enthused a little too loudly to
Andrew.

Chris turned and looked at Ranma coldly.  "There will, but not for you,
Ranma."  Serenity held up her hand, and the assembled court silenced as he
continued speaking.  "The one who will be going back to the past will be
the Princess."

Usagi started as the eyes of the court turned to her.  "I knew it," Apollo
muttered.  "It's always the Princess."

Endymion spoke the question that was on all of their minds.  "Why her?"

Urd looked to her sisters and brother for confirmation before speaking. 
Finding their support, she finally spoke.  "Because she's the only one we
can trust."

***

With seven Senshi, four Shieldsmen, and three chi-wielding martial artists
in residence, the life of a practice dummy in the palace was a lot like
that of a peasant in the middle ages - that is, nasty, brutish, and short.

Ranma blew an arm off of his latest inanimate victim with a pin-point
blast.  "Stupid!" The other arm disappeared, crushed by a hail of punches. 
"Stuck up!" The rest of the dummy was demolished by a quick combo. 
"Busybodies!"

When he had finally stopped aging at the age of twenty five, Ranma had
grown into a handsome man with a strongly muscled build that often fooled
people into thinking he was slower than he actually was.  His trademark
pig-tail had been shorn off long ago, after it had been shown rather
painfully to Ranma that it was nothing more than a handle for an opponent
to grab onto.  He still wore the usual Chinese shirt and pants, but he had
traded the red shirt for a purple one, to signify his new position as
Sailor Saturn's partner.

Andrew and Tarou watched Ranma's performance with a critical eye.  "Taking
this personally, isn't he?" Tarou remarked.

Tarou had been relatively unchanged by over the years.  He was still very
effeminate, and his eyes and manner still held the same arrogance that he
had shown as a younger man.  However, that arrogance had been tempered by
the women in his life, and his more caring side shone through more and more
frequently.  As with Ranma, the only change in his dress had been an
alteration of color scheme.  The vest he now wore was light blue instead of
green.  

"You sound surprised," Andrew returned.  "This is Ranma we're talking
about."  He tried to look innocent as Ranma turned and glared at them.

Ranma's brother Andrew was somewhat lighter of build, as they had been as
teens.  His face had become somewhat harsher over his life, as though the
years had chiseled him down to the barest essence of what he was.  Like his
brother, he wore a Chinese shirt and pants, his pants the same grey he had
worn for ages and his shirt now a dark orange. 

"Ha ha.  You two are a riot," Ranma said disgustedly.  He got a broom to
sweep away the remains of the practice dummy.  His agitation shone through
every stoke of the broom.  "What the hell does that mean, we can't be
trusted?"

Tarou thought about that question for a moment.  "Remember when Small Lady
went to the past for the second time?"

Ranma snorted.  "The week long argument Ares had with Serenity about it was
kind of hard to forget."  He finished sweeping up the mess and went to grab
a new dummy.  "He was right, too.  Between us, the Shieldsmen, and the
Senshi, what training did she get in the past that we couldn't have given
her here?"

"Small Lady needed friends, not teachers," Andrew said softly, and looked
calmly into Ranma's surprised eyes.  "We're all somewhere between five
hundred and a thousand years old.  The kid needed some peers more than she
needed to be taught how to fight.  Think of it as emotional training."

"This is beside the point," Tarou reminded them.  "Remember all the
preparation Pluto did on Small Lady?   The memory blocks?"  Ranma's shudder
answered his question.  "Right.  She said at the time that she had to
prevent Small Lady from warning people about what would happen to them."

"Like Ares' death," Andrew added.  "If they had known he would die, what
might have happened?  Everything would have changed."

"Very good," a voice said from the entrance to the training room.  The men
turned and saw Urd leaning against the doorjamb, a small smirk on her face.
 "And here I thought I'd have to draw it out for you.  Maybe you're not
quite as dumb as I thought."  She walked into the room, and raised her
eyebrows at the pile of destroyed dummies in the corner.  "Impressive.  I
see why Chris is so fond of you guys."

"He was a pretty cold fish for a guy who is supposed to like us," Ranma
said snidely, and then faltered under Urd's deadly glare.  "Gomen," he said
lamely.

Urd walked over to the pile of debris and picked up a piece of crystal. 
"What if I told you that one of the periods and places Usagi-hime would be
visiting would be right before your father taught you the Neko-ken?"

Ranma's eyes lit up.  "That would be great!  I could stop Pop from tossing
me in that pit!  I wouldn't be terrified of cats, Luna and Artemis wouldn't
have to avoid me all the time, Andrew wouldn't try to kill me every time I
went cat..."

"...you would never have beaten Cologne for the Phoenix pill, you would
never have been able to beat that warlord who tried to take over Mexico,
and a hundred other things wouldn't have happened," Urd finished for him,
dropping the crystal she held and picking up another one.  "Your not
learning the Neko-ken would have changed history, and the future you
returned to would have been drastically altered."  She stood, and walked
over to the dummy Ranma had set up.  "Show me one of your tricks, Ranma. 
Show me one of the things you learned that stopped you from aging."

Shrugging, Ranma walked up to the dummy and gathered a ball of chi into his
hands.  "Moko Myaku Dan," he said softly, as if reciting a mantra.  The
ball in his hands began to pulse with light, throwing off small balls of
chi that flew into the dummy and blasted it apart.  Wielding the stream
like a hose, Ranma turned the dummy into dust in moments.

Urd clapped her appreciation and walked over to the pile of dust.  She
gathered the dust the attack had left, and began forming it like clay. 
"You have an idea of what not learning the Neko-ken might have done, both
good and bad."  The object she was forming began to take on the shape of
three figures.  "Usagi-hime will not be heading back to that time.  One of
the times she will be heading to is the year 1990.  The place she will be
visiting is Nerima."

"1990," Andrew breathed, his brow knotted in conversation.  He gasped as
the significance of that date hit him.  "That's right after my wedding to
Kaori!  Two years after Ranma's wedding to Akane!"

"And a year before I married Ukyo," Tarou added softly.

Lifting the statue she had made with the dust, Urd showed it to the men. It
was a foot-high model of Akane, Kaori, and Ukyo.  "If you went back, would
you warn yourselves that they would die?  Would you try to train them to
survive the Second Impact?"

"What do you think?" Ranma growled, his voice hoarse.  "We loved them."

Urd murmured a few words, and the statue blurred, changing into a picture
of Hotaru, Minako and Ami in their Senshi forms.  "More than them?"  She
set the statue on the ground, and stood.  "So you warn yourselves.  You
train your first loves to the same level you have obtained, and you all
survive.  

"What about the three women you care about now?  Without you, Ranma, Hotaru
could have lost control of her powers when the Black Moon Clan attacked. 
Without you Andrew, and you Tarou, and your heroic," she said the word
sarcastically, "attacks against the Clan's other forces during the war,
millions more would have died."  She turned and walked towards the exit. 
"It's not only a matter of trust.  It's not fair to subject you to that
kind of temptation - not fair to you, and not fair to everyone else."  

The men stared at the statue Urd had created in silence, and didn't turn as
she suddenly chuckled.  "I've said enough for now, boys, I think you're
going to have some explaining to do."  The men turned and saw three very
angry Senshi standing near the door.  Urd nodded to the women as she walked
out.

"Ranma-kun," Hotaru said calmly, the fire in her eyes belying the steady
tone of her voice.  "Who exactly is Akane?"

"And Kaori?" Minako added, glaring at Andrew.

Ami walked up and locked eyes with Tarou, and it was all he could do to
avoid flinching.  "Yes, Tarou-kun, who is Ukyo?"

***

Neo-Queen Serenity stood on the balcony of one of the many spires of the
palace.  She watched the wind rustle the leaves of trees far below and the
hustled activity of her citizens, and sighed.  "'May you live in interesing
times,'" she said, quoting the old Chinese curse.  "The story of my life."

"Is my Usako feeling sorry for herself again?" Endymion asked, coming up
behind his wife and wrapping his arms around her.  Serenity smiled lightly
and snuggled into his embrace, making small noises of contentment.

"I don't like sending her to the past again, Mamo-chan.  It was bad enough
when she was a child, but now, when she's an adult..." she trailed off, and
sighed before speaking again.  "A child had no problems with accepting that
Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Kamen of the past were two different people from the
Neo-Queen Serenity and King Endymion of the future.  An adult will have
expectations of our past selves that they just can't fuffill."  She growled
a little.  "And I'm NOT going to let Sailor Pluto mess with her mind
again."

Endymion frowned in concentration as he tried to wrap his mind around what
his wife was saying.  It was often surprising to hear her speak, at times
she made quantum leaps in reasoning that truly amazed him.  "Like the way
Minako and Makoto chased after boys back then.  Usagi will know about
Apollo and Andrew, and try to stop them from going after boys in that
time."

Serenity nodded and twisted in his embrace so that she faced him.  "Even
worse, it could cause them to chase after them too soon.  Ranma, Andrew and
Tarou lost their wives in the Second Impact," she said, and then gasped a
little.  "What if she meets Tenchi?  You know the story behind his
marriages!"

"You have to admit, it was a creative solution to who got him," Endymion
said with a chuckle, then grimaced.  "Even if I have a problem with their
methods, it did work."  He scowled as he considered that family.  "I don't
know if I like their sons' influence on Usagi, though."

"There's not much we can do about it," Serenity reminded him.  "She's
as...fond of them as they are of her." She paused, then giggled.  "And
Toraneko-hime."  Her husband's dismayed groan was his only response.  Just
then, a presence made herself known.  "Please come in, Belldandy-sama."

The door to the balcony opened, and Belldandy entered.  "Hello,
Serenity-san, Endymion-san."

Endymion reluctantly released his wife and turned to the newcomer.  "Why
Usagi?" he asked sharply.  "Why is she the only one you can trust in this
matter?  There are a score of people whom are better trained and more able.
 Why must our daughter be the one put at risk?"

Belldandy smiled lightly.  "It seems we're going to have to give this
speech many times today," she said with a sigh.  "Why did you send back
your daughter the second time?"

"To train," Endymion answered promptly.  Serenity shook her head and he
scowled.  "If not, then why?"

"Because we remembered we had," she said absently, then looked up at
Belldandy defiantly.  "But I remember we didn't send her back a third
time!"  She felt a sudden headache come on, and grabbed the railing as she
lost her balance.  Beside her, Endymion did the same.  Belldandy reached
out and touched the two of them, and the pain subsided.

"You don't remember it because it..." Belldandy began, then frowned in
concentration,"...because it has not yet happened."  She grimaced in
distaste.  "I suddenly understand why Oniichan hates temporal mechanics. 
Mortal languages don't have quite the right tenses for it."  

She sighed in resignation.  "That headache you just had was a sign that the
timeline is changing, and with it, your memories.  Grand Marshal Kiyone was
incorrect.  You do not have a month's grace before Tiamat arrives.  Tiamat
is already here.  She has attacked the past at several key points already."

"But why Usagi?" Endymion insisted.  "Why not Ranma, or Crimson?  Why not
Haruka, Michiru and their Shieldsmen?  Why must it be my daughter who risks
her life while we wait?"

"Paradox!" Serenity suddenly exclaimed.  The others looked at her in
surprise.  "That's what Pluto said when I asked why none of the other
Senshi went back with Small Lady the first time.  They can't go back
because they're already there!"

"But Usako, they...we came forward, remember?" Endymion protested.

Serenity smiled a little weakly.  "I asked her about it later.  She said
something about the powers of the Senshi of Time and wouldn't say anything
more."

"Figures," Belldandy muttered under her breath, yet the other two heard her
words anyway.  "She takes credit for OUR work."  She raised her voice to
speak to the monarchs.  "There is a second reason.  Simply by virtue of her
being there, she makes this future more likely." She looked knowingly at
the couple.  "I distinctly remember two people becoming MUCH closer upon
finding out a particular pink-haired angel was their daughter."  Her
statement was rewarded by a pair of blushes.

Endymion put his hand to his forehead, he felt a headache coming.  "I still
don't like this, Belldandy-sama," he insisted.  "I don't want her going
back to the past alone again."

Belldandy smiled slyly.  "Oh, I wouldn't say she's going to be ALONE..."

***

In one of the side chambers, Tenchi Masaki and his wives were deep in
discussion.  The changes that had been wrought over the past thousand years
on them was apparent to any observer who knew them well.

"Washu, what the hell is going on?" Ryoko demanded.  "There was something
really wrong out there, and I don't mean this Tiamat business!"

Physically, the most changed were Tenchi and Ayeka.  While Ryoko looked
exactly the same as she had when she first met Tenchi, and Washu merely
spent all her time in her adult form now, both Tenchi and Ayeka had
improved over the years.

Tenchi was now somewhat taller and had filled out somewhat.  He had become
more muscular, yet his build was still the lithe one the girls had fallen
for so long ago.  His face had grown a little longer, as the baby fat he
had kept even into his teens was burned away.

Ayeka frowned.  "Chris-sama did seem rather...erratic, now that I think of
it.  He was always a little unrestrained, but that kind of tomfoolery is
not what I expected out of him," she said, then suddenly shuddered.  "His
voice when he talked to Ranma was so cold."

To Ayeka's delight, she too had filled out somewhat, and in all the right
places.  She was still not as voluptuous as Ryoko, but motherhood and the
years had enhanced her figure in ways that Tenchi found attractive, to say
the least.

Washu shook her head in negation.  "I honestly don't know," she admitted. 
"But I think something very bad happened to him since we saw him last. 
Those two Valkyries beside him weren't his girlfriends, they were Urd and
Skuld."

The most dramatic change in the women was in their reactions with each
other.  There was no more competing over Tenchi.  Ever since they
discovered that Tenchi COULDN'T decide, that he loved ALL of them equally,
it was a simple choice to share him.  Besides, as Tenchi had pointed out
several times before, as a team, they were unbeatable.

"So you know," Skuld said softly, walking into the room.  "Washu-san, you
MUST not reveal this to Chris or anyone else.  None of you can.  If he
finds out the truth there's no telling what might happen."

Tenchi recognized the tone in Skuld's voice.  It was sorrow and
self-loathing.  "What have you done?" he demanded.

"We destroyed them," Skuld whispered, and her voice grew thick with
emotion.  "We just wanted to play a centennial birthday joke on Chris.  You
know, turn Rachel's hair purple, or play around with Ami's measurements. 
They were Valkyries then, it should have been easy.  But we didn't count on
a bug showing up.  It attacked the process we were running during the final
write.  Instead of writing the data changes...it erased the files."

Washu gasped in horror.  "Dear Kami-sama," she breathed.

Ayeka and Ryoko exchanged looks of confusion.  "Erasing the files is bad?"
Ryoko asked.

"Yes," Washu replied.  "Was they did was beyond death, they..."

"We wiped their souls out of existence," Skuld overrode her angrily, but
her anger was directed at herself.  "And Chris saw it happen.  He saw them
just..disappear."  She paused, and her voice was a whisper.  "Chris seemed
to take it well.  He grieved for their loss and moved on, or so we thought.
 It was almost a decade later that we found out he was trying to reboot
Yggdrasil."

"He couldn't have!" Washu yelled.  "Rebooting Yggdrasil would cause
Ragnarok, and everything would have ended..." she trailed off as
realization hit her.  "He was trying to commit suicide."  Ryoko shook her
head in negation, and Ayeka made a small sound of dismay.

"What the hell possessed him to try that?  What was he thinking?" Ryoko
wondered angrily.

"The same thing I would have been if I lost you three," Tenchi told her,
placing his hand on her shoulder.  His wives turned shocked gazes on him,
and he smiled sadly.  "All of you forget that he was born and raised a
plain old human, like I was.  His first thought upon losing them would have
been spending the rest of his life alone.  An eternal life."

"But," Ayeka protested, "that's ridiculous.  I love you more than anything
in the universe, Tenchi-kun, but such thinking is foolish.  If you died, I
would grieve for a very long time.  But I would get over it, and so could
Chris-sama." The other two women reluctantly nodded agreement.  "The only
way he couldn't would be if it was a soul-bond." She turned to Skuld
worriedly.  "It wasn't, was it?"

Skuld shook her head.  "No, it wasn't, thankfully," she replied.  "But
Tenchi-san is right, Chris couldn't think that far ahead.  To use his
words, 'he isn't wired that way.'"  She paused.  "Kami-sama blocked his
memories of their death, and told Urd and I that we had to fill that void
in his life.  So we split ourselves and made a new Rachel and Ami for him."
 She turned and looked earnestly at Washu.  "That's why you can't tell him,
Washu-san.  It would destroy the memory block, and him with it."

"Hey, Skuld, have you seen Ami?"  Chris asked, walking into the room
followed by the taller of the Valkyries.  "She's hiding on me again."  He
noticed the others in the room staring at him and began to fidgit.  "What?"
 Not getting any response, he shrugged and grabbed the Valkyrie by the
shoulders, and have her a long, deep kiss.  After a moment, he released
her.

The woman gasped for breath, and looked at him with a little shock, her
dark brown hair a bit disheveled.  Since the armor she was wearing was
little more than a chainmail bikini, it was clear she was developing a full
body blush.  "What was that for?"

Chris grinned and nodded to the audience.  "They were staring at us, so I
decided to give them a show.  Besides, I never need an excuse to kiss you,
Rachel."  He paused as he heard the sounds of running feet.  "And in
five...four...three...two...one..."

"CHRIS!" another voice yelled, and the other Valkyrie came running into the
room and tackle-hugged the tall man, knocking him to the floor.  She
proceeded to kiss him passionately.  After a few moments she let him go,
and stood, straightening her reddish-brown hair.

"I love Ami's hellos," Chris gasped from the floor, and smiled up at Tenchi
and his wives.  "Hi Tenchi, long time no see.  You know, I was really
insulted you didn't invite me to the wedding," he said, and stood up.

"It didn't stop you from crashing it," Ayeka muttered darkly.  "Or from
bringing some of those reprehensible friends of yours."

"Hey, it wasn't my fault Thor got drunk on Juraian whiskey, or that Thrudr
decided your Dad was cute."  He paused, then laughed suddenly.  "By the
way, Ayeka, you may want to warn your Dad that Magni is rather stuck on
Misaki."

"My mother?" Ayeka wondered, and then the frowned.  "One moment, wasn't
Magni the one with the red beard?  The one my mother spent twenty minutes
lecturing on manners?"

Chris nodded vigorously.  "Magni thinks she's the most fantastic woman he's
ever met.  I hope your father's in dueling form, because he's got a fight
on his hands."

"Hey, Princess, looks like you're going to have a god for a step-father,"
Ryoko laughed.

Ayeka chuckled softly.  "That should teach father a good lesson.  He takes
mother far too much for granted."

"Weren't you supposed to be talking to the boys?" Skuld asked Chris
pointedly.

"Well, Ami took off on me, so I had to chase her down," Chris said
defensively.  Skuld gave him a steady glare, and he squirmed a little. 
"All right, I'm going!" He disappeared.

The two goddess fragments exchanged a glance and sighed.  "Tenchi-san,
where would your sons be at this time?" 'Rachel' asked. 

"Probably the princess's garden," Tenchi answered.

"Thank you," 'Ami' said, and growled a little.  "I wish he would stop doing
that."  The two Valkyries turned and flew out of the room, silence in their
wake.

"So Skuld," Ryoko began, a grin on her face.  "Which one is you?"

"Ami," Skuld said, and blushed.

"Now for the important question," Ryoko continued.  "Is he any good in
bed?"

***

"Come on, Kesshu, if anyone can figure it out, it's you!"  Akuma insisted. 
"I KNOW you don't like the idea of Usagi going back to the past any more
than I do!  So why won't you help us figure out how to follow her?"

"Because I'm not about to let someone like you go rummaging around the
timeline," Kesshu retorted calmly.  "Knowing you two, you'd cause all sorts
of problems, and we'd come back to a completely different future."

"So you can come along and keep us out of trouble," Akuma offered.

Kesshu snorted in derision, and activated his computer visor.  His keyboard
slid into existence and he began to type.  "My coming along wouldn't keep
you out of trouble, it'd cause more."

Akuma made to reply again, but Yosho's hand on his shoulder stopped him. 
"Never mind, Akuma.  It's obvious he won't help us because he doesn't know
how.  Let's go ask Washu-okaasama. she is the Number One Genius Scientist
in the Universe, after all."  He accompanied this speech with a broad wink
to Akuma, who grinned back.

"Yeah, she is smarter than him, after all," Akuma seconded, and the two
began to walk away. From her seat nearby, Toraneko covered her mouth with
her hands and tried to stifle her giggles.

"Wait a second!" Kesshu yelled.  He banished his terminal and turned to his
brothers.  "I'll help you on one condition."  At the two men's quizzical
look, he got a manic grin on his face.

"If you wouldn't mind, PLEAASE," he whined in a childish voice, "call me
Oniichan?"

"It was only five minutes!" Yosho yelled.

Kesshu began to sulk.  "No Oniichan, no help."  Yosho and Akuma exchanged a
pained look and sighed.

"Oniichan," the two said in a monotone. 

"Yes?" Kesshu asked innocently.  "Is there something I can do for you?"

Akuma growled and lifted his shorter brother up by the lab-coat.  "Are you
going to help us or not?" he demanded.

"Sure," Kesshu said, and called over Akuma's shoulder.  "Christopher-sama,
can we go with Usagi-hime?"  Akuma dropped Kesshu and whirled around, to
stare in shock at the smirking god.  A few feet away, Toraneko was sitting
on the floor, helpless with giggles.

Yosho gaped at Chris for a moment, then bowed deeply.  "Christopher-sama,
we wish to accompany Usagi-hime on her journey, to protect her, because..."

"You're convinced she can't take care of herself," Chris finished with a
chuckle.  "Ah, the cry of the over-protective male, such music to my ears,"
he said extravagantly.  "I AM the God of Guardians, you remember?  I'd have
been more concerned if you HADN'T wanted to go."

"Does that mean we can?" Akuma asked eagerly.

Chris laughed and made some shooing motions.  "Of course!  Go on, see your
parents, I think they would probably be able to help you prepare."  The
three young men ran out of the garden.  "Heh.  And they told me I'd have to
order them to go."  He felt a touch on his arm, and turned to a determined
Toraneko.  "You too?"

"Usagi-chan is my best friend," she said defiantly.  "And so are the boys. 
I can take care of myself, I want to go with them..." she died off under
Chris's intense scrutiny.  "Please?"

"You know, I'm going to hate to see how you five resolve this love tangle,"
he said with a sigh.  "Why not?  I'd have to beat you off with a stick
anyway."  He held up his hand to forestall Toraneko's thanks.  "I will warn
you, it may be harder on you than it is on the others.  As far as I
remember, your mother can barely speak during the periods you will be
visiting."

"That's all right," Toraneko replied cheerily as she ran off.  "I speak
Cabbit!"

***

The departure of the five teens was marked by a mixture of anger, sorrow,
worry, and hope.  As the group disappeared into the Time Gate with Sailor
Pluto, the words of encouragement and farewell from their parents, mentors,
and friends were forefront in their mind.

"Be careful," Serenity breathed as the Time Gate closed.  She steeled
herself and turned to the others.  "Now, all we can do is wait, and hope
they are successful."

"Not quite," Urd said from the sidelines.  She and Skuld began to etch
something in the crystal floor.  Chris and Belldandy read numbers from
scrolls they carried, and slowly, over a period of several minutes, a
Circle of Ultimate Magic formed on the floor.  The three goddesses sat at a
point on the Circle, dividing it into thirds.  As one, they began to chant
in low tones.

As the assembled people watched, the floor encompassed by the Circle began
to shimmer and bend, as if it was water.  An image faded into focus on the
floor, resolving into the image of the five recently-departed teens
standing on a cement road.

"The timeline WILL be changing," Chris explained while the goddesses
chanted.  "This will make the adjustment easier on you.  Instead of just
having your memories re-written, which some of you may have already
discovered is a rather unpleasant experience, you can watch their actions,
and you will 'remember' things as they change."  The image on the floor
snapped into focus and the goddesses slumped.  "Now, we watch."

****************

Coming hopefully before 1998: 

Turn the Page Book 1: Senshi Muyo!

--
Christopher "God-boy" Angel
cja124@mail.usask.ca      http://www.engr.usask.ca/~cja124
'Man who eat ice cream in car is sundae driver.'
	-found on a Bazooka Joe comic.