Yuri: Later, Zen.  We have a fic to review!

Zen:  <suspicious>  Another Lurk... er... Lurkadis fic?

<At the mention of the Name, lavender mists billow into the room, and
Lurkadis strides in, stone skin glistening. Hikaru Inverse trails behind
him, and two other figures stumble out of the mist behind them.>

Tora: <coughing> Shit, what the hell *is* this? 

Lurkadis: It is my entrance.

Tora: Yeah? Well it stinks! <coughs> This is worse than the stuff that
comes out of those blasted carriages the humans drive around in!

Lurkadis: <sweatdrop> In any case, I believe there's work to do here...

[Scene opens on a movie theatre.  In a chair, snoozing, is Christopher
Angel, God of Moments.]

Zen:  ACK!  Reviewing a review again?!

Kei:  <smirking>  Yeah, but this time, we beat ol' stony to it. ^_^

Lurkadis: <smirks> 

Zen:  You *do* realize then, that THIS review becomes a valid target... 

Kei:  ...

Zen:  Thought not. <sighs>

Lurkadis: <MML>

Tora: O_o Th...the hell? 

Chris: Urd, WHAT DID YOU DO?
Urd: Nothing!  It's not my fault Belldandy...[stops herself]

Zen:  Oops.  Y'know... there's something familiar about that guilty look.

Kei:  ...

Lurkadis: <snicker>

Chris: [blinks] oooookaaaay.
Skuld: WHAT?!  I have to stop them!

Yuri: Now *there's* a girl that needs to get laid.

Zen:  She's only fourteen, you know...

Yuri: So?

Zen:  ...

Lurkadis: <chuckle>

      However, in Nerima, it was an unusually uneventful one.  There

were

no showdowns between dueling martial artists.  No strange creatures.  
No damage to buildings that cost billions of yen.

Yuri: Of course.  All those things only happen when Ranma's around.

Zen:  <crafty look> And your point is?

Kei:  <making frantic 'shush' gestures that Yuri ignores>

Yuri: It's all his fault, isn't it?

Zen:  <exaggerated innocent look>  Really?  And what does that say about

YOU

two?

Yuri: ...

Kei:  Nice one, Yuri.

Lurkadis: <chuckle>

Hikaru: <giggle>

Tora: ... I don't get it.

Chris: Here's an interesting question: Where does Japan get all he money
to repair the damage it takes in all these anime?
Urd: 'Niichan, this is ANIME, not reality.
Chris: No, really, think about it.  Like in Cat Girl Nuku Nuku, they
destroy Tokyo on a regular basis.

Yuri: Yah, Tokyo's like a cancer.  It keeps groeing back.  Tokyo, Mega
Tokyo, Tokyo 3, Crystal Tokyo...  You just can't *kill* it.

Lurkadis: Much like a cockroach.

Ushio: Or certain monsters...

Tora: HEY! <growls>

      At the Tendo Dojo....

      Akane was breaking bricks.  She was hitting them with a savagery

that was extreme, even for her.  So far, she had completely shattered 
eighteen of them and she showed no sign of slowing down.

Skuld: OOOOh, she's mad.

Kei:  You think she's mad now, you just WAIT 'tilshe finds out her

favourite

punching bag is shacked up with some blonde in New York...

Zen:  Urg.  Put that way, it *could* get a little... tense.

Yuri: You have a tendency for understatement, don'tcha?

Lurkadis: <chuckle>

Chris: [thinks] It must be that time of the month.
Urd: [smacking him upside the head] Don't be like Lurker.

Yuri: Ouch!

Lurkadis: <eyes flash purple>

Tora: o_O Uhh...what the hell was that?

Hikaru: <sighs> You don't want to know.

      "What's wrong with me?" she thought, "I know I get angry, but

I'm 

just so... REALLY ANGRY today.  Why?"

      The answer of course, was the same as it had been everyday,

Ranmas'

running away.  "At least," she thought before shouting to the ceiling,
 "THAT JERK COULD HAVE LEFT A NOTE!"

Zen:  <Ranma VO> Dear kawaiikune otoko onna...  have gone to New York to
forget you and romance the future queen of crystal tokyo.  Best, Ranma...

<normal voice>  No... Zen does not THINK so.

Lurkadis: <LOL>

Skuld: [confused] Didn't they see him disappear?

Kei:  Sure, but you KNOW what a temper she's got.  And that persecution
complex... never saw a girl what needed more Prozac.

Zen:  True.  Akane has seen Ranma try and avoid things in past, and STILL
blamed him... no reason to expect this to be different.

Lurkadis: Can't argue that.

Skuld: Yay Akane!
Urd: No way! Shampoo, tell me it's not so!
Chris: You're awfully fixated on her, Urd. [whacked by Urd] HEY!  Stop
acting like Hikaru. [pauses, Blade voice] Go Tarou!

Hikaru: <mutters something unpleasant>

Zen:  DIE Squidbreath!  Go 'Poo!

Yuri: <glares at Zen>  YOU are a drooling Shampoo fanboy?

Zen:  <sniffs>  Of course not.  She's just the runner up.  Zen is a

drooling

UKYOU fanboy.

Lurkadis: Gee, we'd never have guessed...

Kei:  <hurt look>  But... but... Zen!  How could you like that... that...
*crossdresser* when you live with THIS?!  <begins to rip open uniform

top>

Lurkadis: O_O

Hikaru: <covers Lurkadis's eyes>

Ushio: <nosebleed>

Tora: <sighs> Humans. Definitely too into this mating bullshit.

Destroyer, Mikado, Ryuu and practically everyone who had a grudge 
against Ranma decided that it was time to get revenge.  The violence 
as to who would get him first if they found him, grew out of control 
and it took the efforts of six of the Sailor Senshi and thirty units 
of SUMP (Special Units of Metro Police [The Japanese equivalent of 
SWAT]) officers, working together, five hours to quell it.

Zen: ...  Wow.  Hope they had SUMP pumped...

Yuri: <smacks Zen>

Lurkadis: ...  Okay, that one was just *too* lame.

Hikaru, Tora, Ushio: O_O

<In Hell, Old Scratch puts on three more overcoats, and tries to chip some
of the ice off his pitchfork>

      Ever since then, it had been silent.  The need to fight had gone

out 

of the martial artists systems and they were content to just give 
each other the cold shoulder, along with an occasional Evil Eye.

Yuri: Gross!  Put it back!

Lurkadis: <evil grin>

Hikaru: <pales> Oh no...

Tora: What?

<Lurkadis reaches up and flips up his eyepatch. A slight squelching sound
is heard, and a moment later, he withdraws a red, somewhat swollen, grisly
peeper.>

Lurkadis: Here, hold this. <tosses the eyeball to Yuri>

Tora: O_o Okay, that's sick.

Hikaru: <retches violently>

(Ed. note: The moral of this story is, never make eye jokes around The
Eternal Lost Lurker. You'll regret it every single time.)

Voice: ENOUGH ALREADY.  Flashman knows we all want Ranma and Usagi to be
together, leave it alone.
Chris/Skuld/Urd: NEVER!

Kei:  <nodding>  You just gotta keep reminding them sometimes.

Zen:  <grins>  Ranma & Ukyou forever! 

Kei & Yuri: ...

Lurkadis: <chuckle>

Chris: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Urd: I guess not.
Skuld: Good plan, though.

Zen:  <smirking>  Oh, yes, Rube Goldberg would be proud.

Yuri: Maybe those kids'll even catch that monster with this one.

Tora: Monster? What monster?

Kei:  <whaps Yuri>  Wrong show, stupid!  You see a dog in this show?

Zen:  Well...

Yuri & Kei:  DON'T go there, Zen.

Zen:  ...

Lurkadis: <ROFLMAO>

      Soun cried tears of joy as Genma tried to hold back his own. 

"My 

son," the elder Saotome whispered, "alive."

      Akane however, was a bit more pessimistic, "So he's alive.  That

just means he's a coward.  He ran away for goodness sake."

Zen:  <shudders>  Yes... better he should stay with Usagi.  They may
squabble, but at least she's not this COLD...  Yeeesh.

Kei:  That girl is *way* too uptight.

Lurkadis, Hikaru, Tora, Ushio: <nod>

Ushio: Reminds me a lot of Asako.

Chris: [sarcasticly] Son't be too happy or anything.  Sheesh.  She

doesn't

deserve Ranma.  None of them do.  Ranma and Usagi forever!

Zen:  Hey!  Ukyou deserves him!  But you're right about Akane!  <twitch>

Lurkadis: Ukyou deserves better than Ranma...

      Tatiwaki Kuno nodded in acceptance and said, "Yes.  Though you

are 

Gaijin Mr. Hawkins and thus, can not possess the pure abilities of me 
and those in my line, you are a skilled business man and I trust that 
you can carry through on your end."

Kei:  Pompous son of a so-and-so, ne?

Lurkadis: Well, this *is* Kunou...

      Nabiki bowed slightly as she stepped aside and let Hawkins pass.

As 

soon as he was gone, Nabiki turned to Kuno as he greeted her with, 
"To what cruel turn of fate do I owe the 'pleasure' of thy company 
Nabiki Tendo?"

Zen:  Whoa!  What'd you do with the *real* Kunou?  He's not this rude to
even Nabiki!

Lurkadis: I dunno 'bout that. He's generally got an attitude with her...

      A person stepped out of the shadows and replied, "As always,

Ancient 

One, you have sensed me."

      Cologne snorted and said, "I find it interesting that you

describe 

ME as 'ancient' Setsuna."

Zen:  Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Chris: [snickers] She has a point.
Urd: Whippersnappers.

Zen:  Well, Urd & Setsuna have kept their figures MUCH better...

Yuri: Hentai!

Kei:  <pinches Zen>  watchit you...

Lurkadis: <chuckles>

Chris: Urd, you've been reincarnated HOW many times?
Urd: [sniffs] A lady's age is her own business.

Kei:  So what has that got to do with you?

Zen:  (!)  <ducks>  oooohhhhhh.... shit.

Lurkadis: O_O <erects a stone blastwall around the viewing box>

      Setsuna smiled a rare smile and replied, "True.  However, I fear

that this is not a visit to remember old times."

Yuri: <incredulous> They used to hang out together?

Zen:  <thoughtful>  That would explain a lot...

Lurkadis: What would it explain? Setsuna's rotten personality?

Chris: Real C&C time.  You could kill that last 'for it'.  The sentence
might flow better that way.

Yuri:  Chris seems a little OOC here, really pushing the fourth wall,
y'know?

Zen:  Maybe, but he has a point.  Besides, as much fun as these reviews

are,

it's nice when they're something besides total fluff...

Lurkadis: Uhhh....did this review just hit the Twilight Zone for anyone
else?

Hikaru: <nod>

Tora: Hey, it's been nothin' *but* Twilight Zone for me since I signed on
for this crap.

      "He would be, except that a recent encounter has shattered his 
confidence.  He is recovering however, and hopefully, he will have 
his self assurance restored soon."

Chris: Watch your hypenation(sp).

Zen:  Dash it all...

Kei:  <whaps Zen>

Lurkadis: <drops a huge stone gong on Zen>

Chris: Eeep.  That's what flight is for.
Urd: She can't fly.  

Kei:  Oh no?  Tell that to her bike that she keeps landing on Ranma.

Lurkadis: <snicker>

Chris: Sure she can, all she needs to do is borrow Akane for a bit..

Zen:  Now *that* would be a hammer-head turn...

Kei:  Zen, just how many pilots do you think will read this?

Lurkadis: <winces>

Zen:  <to Yuri>  Might Zen have this dance?

Yuri: Charmed, sir.

Kei:  D'you mind if I cut in?

Yuri: Wait your turn, it said there'd be several minuets.

Lurkadis: <groans> Okay, that was just too tacky...

Hikaru: <giggle>

      Hawkins, who was sitting behind his desk, said, "Leave it on the

desk," and as Shampoo complied, he pulled out a wad of yen that more 
then covered for the bill by a wide margin and added, "Keep the 
change."

Urd: Nice tipper.
Chris: Hey, why do you think Shampoo likes going on delivery?

Zen:  Zen wonders if the tip would have been smaller if she had not been
running up the stairs... the profit motive for exercise...

Lurkadis: <cackle> Good one!

Hikaru: Hentai! <whaps Lurkadis with her sword, which "gongs" against his
stone skin>

Yuri: Nani?

Kei:  Pervert.

Chris: Gold chopsticks?  Ught.  Those things must get scored and bent
awfully badly.

Zen:  Yah.  And they'd conduct heat almost as well as silver ones.

Kei:  Ouch.  There's a thought.

Lurkadis: <nods> Yeah, we're talkin' hot stuff here.

      Hawkins sighed as he rubbed his forehead, "Yes.  The

insufferable, 

inbred clan known as the Kuno estate, has given us the rights.  We 
may proceed with sub titling the latest episodes of Star Marshal 
Ghram."

Zen:  The Kunou family produces ANIME?!  Waaaaaaaah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Lurkadis: It'd explain an awful lot.

I never thought that sub titling Anime could be so profitable to an 
organization such as ours."

Kei:  Really?  Weren't all those fansubbers a subtle hint?  Of *course*
there's a market for good subtitled anime!

Zen:  <innocent look>  So how come Streamline did all those dubs?

Yuri & Kei:  Macek will DIE.

Lurkadis: <MML>

Tora: O_O Will you quit doin' that? 

      Hawkins glared at Lujane again and shifted form.  In his place,

sat

Eclipse Lord.  "Forgive me master," Lujane amended, "I meant, an 
organization such as yours."

Urd: I knew it.
Skuld: I knew it.
Chris: Hey, _I_ was surprised.  Not much, but barely.

Zen:  Better polish those precog powers of yours then.  Zen could see

that

coming since the Kunou estate, and Zen is only 3WA.

Yuri: <hands on hips> What do you *mean* ONLY 3WA?

Zen: ... Anou... he's a GOD fer chrissake.  <thinks.  gets wicked smile> 
Zen is sorry.  You're right.  Zen forgot that you were from the Heavens

too.

Yuri: <mollified>  We *are* the Lovely *Angels*, after all.

Zen:  <innocent> Then why is it when you show up that people look at you

and

say, "Oh, God..."

Kei:  <whaps Zen>  I'll show you.  Later.  <leers>

Zen:  .... <ulp>

Lurkadis: <ROFLMAO>

Tora: <grumbles> More of this mating bullshit...

      Shampoo got off her bike and stomped over to Ukyou and grabbed

her 

by the shoulder.  "Spatula Girl know about husband?"

Yuri: What makes Shampoo think that Nabiki won't sell the info to others?

Zen:  Hopeless optimism?

Lurkadis: More like Amazon intelligence. In other words, a complete lack
thereof.

      "Hell yeah," Ukyou snapped back, "it took most of todays

earnings 

but it was worth it.... and Ranchan will NEVER be your husband!"

      "Who he marry then?  Pervert Spatula Girl!"

Zen:  YES!  The pervert Spatula Girl!

Lurkadis: Anou, you realize you just called Ukyou-sama a pervert....

Kei:  <whaps Zen>  Down, boy, you're drooling.

Yuri: <nods, and dumps a glass of water over Zen's head>  Maybe THIS will
cool you off.

Zen-chan: ...

Lurkadis: <snicker>

Chris: You know, property values in Nerima must be abysmaly low.

Zen-chan:  That's because with all the repair expense, no one has a Real
Estate.

Lurkadis: <sweatdrops> And they say I make bad puns...

Yuri: <moans>

Kei:  Sorry, Yuri, but that won't win the bet either.

Zen-chan: ...

Lurkadis, Hikaru, Tora, Ushio: <facefault>

      And in the future....

      "SHENRON!  COME FORTH!"

Skuld: Daimon?
Urd: Sounds like it.

Zen-chan: Not the Ghost Horse then...

Yuri:  Ghost horse?

Kei:  oh no...

Zen-chan: Sure!  Youma ma!

Yuri: <blinks>  oops.

Lurkadis: -_-* That was going a bit too far...

Urd: Don't you think you're blowing that just a little out of

proportion?

Chris: Remember my Magic Knight Rayearth tapes?  That character

Mokonayou

hate so much?
Skuld: It's so KAWAI! How could you hate it?

Zen-chan:  Oh, it's EASY... TRUST Zen....

Hikaru: <scowls> Hey! How could anyone hate Mokona?

Mokona: <bounces into the room> Puuuuu! <bounces out>

--------------------------------------------------------------------
-Lurkadis Lavenwers-

EternalLostLurker@worldnet.att.net

Estuans interius ira vehementi
Estuans interius ira vehementi
Sephiroth

Sors immanis
et inanis
Sors immanis
et inanis

veni veni venias
ne me mori facias
veni veni venias
ne me mori facias
Sephiroth
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