Prologue

The old crone was standing off to the side of the walkway in the park, her
staff cradled in the crook of her arm, and holding an open book in her
hands. To the occasional passerby it appeared she was casually reading a
book. The passerby's were wrong. There was nothing casual about her
reading. The book was written in Chinese and entitled "The Laws of
Joketsuzoku." Cologne found the passage she was looking for and read:

It has come to the attention of the Joketsuzoku, that due to the nature of
the Jusenkyou curses, cures are difficult to employ. It is believed to be a
side effect of the magic that the recipient of the curse cannot simply walk
over and immerse themselves in the appropriate pool of  drowned human,
since we have yet to discover anyone that has accomplished this despite the
fact it could be done. Bearing this in mind we can now discuss the most
dangerous of the Jusenkyou pools, (to the tribe) Nanniichaun (Spring of
Young Drowned Man.)

Laws concerning Nanniichaun:
In the earliest days of Joketsuzoku, many of the Amazon warriors believed
there was an advantage to being able to use a more physically powerful male
form. This was used with alarming frequency despite the social
ramifications involving half of the Amazon warrior population suddenly
turning into men whenever they got wet and disrupting the very basis of our
matriarchal society. That alone almost destroyed the tribe, not to mention
the two generations in took to recover from the physical complications that
came about from its use. Because of these two reasons, the tribal council
unanimously decided Nanniichuan would be forever forbidden from use by the
tribe. Breaking this law is the HIGHEST offense possible. If any Amazon is
changed by Nanniichuan, for any reason, she must immediately turn herself
over to the village and stand for judgment before the tribal council. The
guidelines concerning punishment are as follows, (This is assuming a cure
cannot be immediately obtained. As mentioned before, this is
extraordinarily rare.)

1: The afflicted may voluntarily kill themselves, preferably before the
council, in order to atone for the dishonor of allowing themselves to be
tainted by masculinity. If the offender chooses this, all marks of dishonor
to the individual and the family, concerning the immersion, are forever
stricken from the eyes of the tribe and council. (This is the recommended
course of action.)

If the offender does not kill themselves they can then be:

2: ...exiled by the council. They are forever branded an outcast and female
progeny cannot become Amazons. (Male offspring, however, can marry into the
tribe despite the dishonor.) The family of one who chooses exile over
killing oneself is considered having a mark of grave dishonor against them
for raising one who is unwilling to give their life for the honor of the
tribe. 

3: ...they may be executed anyway. This is STRONGLY recommended in cases of
voluntary immersion, attempted escapes from justice, and any signs the
stricken is unrepentant or shows an acceptance of the curse. If the accused
attempts to run she may be execute on the spot for unwillingness to comply
with the law. 

*Exceptional Circumstance Rule*
A pardon can be given if there are exceptional circumstances to the
receiving of the curse. In all our history only one case has met the
necessary criteria for a pardon. The case is as follows:
900 years ago a band of Amazons, including the matriarch, were captured by
an army. A young Amazon went, alone and unaided, to Jusenkyou and
voluntarily immersed herself in Nannichuan. She then impersonated a guard
and managed a daring breakout of the prisoners, including the matriarch,
from the army. Though grievously wounded in the escape, the warrior
survived. Upon returning, she then asked for a trial to be held immediately
for her crimes. Her obvious willingness for responsibility of her actions,
combined with the fact she acted in the best interest of the tribe at great
personal risk, made for a unanimous decision by the council to grant a
pardon. It should be noted that she was immediately cured of her affliction
upon completion of the trial, lending credence to the theory that the
curses have a purpose, and that no one can have a cure until the curse is
done with them. This is just a theory.

Cologne closed the book and sighed,

"The things one must do to uphold honor."


Ranma 1/2: Presents
Shampoo 1/2

Chapter 7
Severing the Ties That Bind

Sorry only the prologue of this is in prose and the rest of this is in
script format. I will convert the rest of it to prose at a later time. In
all liklihood  future chapters will also be in a prose format. Enjoy.
Any C+C would be enjoyed, (Flames included.) 

D.B. Sommer
Standard disclaimer:
I don't own any of these characters. They are owned by the Goddess
Takahashi and whomever she leased the rights to. Buy Ranma stuff. It's low
in calories and takes care of that annoying money people seem to give you
for work. Remember, Ranma is good food.
Project A-ko: owned by Someone else.
Doctor Who: owned by the BBC (I think)

An alternate universe.
What's gone on before, (or what you need to know to enjoy this fic.) In the
beginning, The Saotome's traveled to Jusenkyou and began to spar, not
realizing that Shampoo and Mousse had already began a dual there as well.
One mid-air collision, and quick bath in Spring of Young Drowned Man later,
we have a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. [Ranma-kun/Ranma= male.
Ranma-chan= female. Shampoo/Shampoo-chan= female. Shampoo-kun= male.]
Shampoo elected to travel with Ranma to Japan and ended up briefly engaged
to Kasumi. After that was cleared up, Ranma became engaged to Akane. On the
first day of school water and confusion mixed resulting in everyone
thinking Ranma-chan was Shampoo and Shampoo-kun was Ranma. Worse yet,
Nabiki informed the female student body that all they needed to do to date
the "Handsome Ranma" was defeat him in combat [sound familiar?]. Last
chapter, Ranma-chan got blackmailed by Furinkan's deranged director into
being Juliet in a play. This made Akane angry at Ranma because she wanted
the part. Ranma-chan talked Shampoo-kun into becoming Romeo so he wouldn't
have to kiss a guy. This made the Furinkan female student body angry at
Ranma-chan because they then wanted to kiss Shampoo-kun. This also made
Kunou angry at Shampoo-kun because he wanted to be Romeo. After
electro-shock acting lessons, incompetent stagehands, and attacks by
everyone to cripple Ranma-chan, the play went on, becoming a success. At
the end of the chapter we learned that Cologne had returned and had
summoned RanRan and LinLin to Japan to "help" with their big sister...

Part I
Severing the Ties That Bind
 
The scene opens with Akane and Shampoo-chan walking through a park in the
middle of the day. They are both in dresses. 

Akane: Don't you just love days like this?

Shampoo: Yes.

Akane: So, it's been several months now, what do you think of Japan?

Shampoo: It very nice. Especially like Tendo's for helping Shampoo. It not
home, but no place is.

Akane: I'm sorry about the way I acted during the play. I didn't mean to
hurt you, I was mad at Ranma.

Shampoo: Ranma just doing part. Should no be angry with him.

Akane: Whatever. (Looks away from Shampoo) So what was kissing him like?

Shampoo: Shampoo no kiss Ranma. Too busy fighting. Then everything explode.

Akane: What about after?

Shampoo: Shampoo no kiss Ranma after. Shampoo only try kiss Ranma for play.
(Her tone becomes irritated) Why ask so many questions?

Akane: No particular reason.

The duo continue to walk. They go a little ways farther when they spot
Cologne in the middle of the path, on her staff, waiting for them. 

Cologne: (<> In Chinese) <Greetings Granddaughter.>

Akane: (Drops into fighting stance.) Great. She's back.

Cologne: <It is time to go back Shampoo. I command it.>

Shampoo: <If I go, what then Great Grandmother?>

Cologne: <We will try to cure you of your...condition.>

Shampoo: <And if we fail, what then? Do I throw myself upon my sword in
some attempt to gain forgiveness from the council?>

Cologne: <Of course! What other choice is there? I raised you to be the
next leader of the Amazons. One of the first rules I taught you is that we
are not above the law.> Her voice raises, <How dare you fail me in this
way! I thought I raised you better than that!>

Shampoo: <I'm sorry, Great Grandmother, I cannot go back. I can solve this
problem if I have more time.>

Cologne: <So you refuse?>

Shampoo: <I have no choice.>

Two figures burst from the shrubs, weapons drawn, and race out directly in
the path of Shampoo and Akane. It is RanRan and LinLin. There have a pained
expression in their eyes.

Shampoo: (In disbelief) <What are you doing here?>

RanRan: <I don't believe it Shampoo.>

LinLin: <Neither do I. I thought Great Grandmother must be mistaken when
she said you refused to obey her order to go home.>

RanRan: <But now we see it's true. You disobeyed her right before our eyes.
You must have committed some terrible crime to hide here in Japan.>

Shampoo: <You don't know what I did?>

LinLin: <Great Grandmother did not see fit to tell us. Listen. If you come
with us now, maybe they will let you off easy. (More softly.) You are our
big sister Shampoo. We have looked up to you all our lives. You are the
idol for all the girls our age.>

RanRan: (Pleading) <We want to follow in your footsteps. You are the
strongest and bravest warrior, and you are going to lead the village. You
have never disappointed anyone. You have never been defeated. We always
considered it a great honor that you were our sister. Everyone else is
jealous of us.>

LinLin: <But now you are risking throwing it all away because you are
afraid of coming back. That's not the Shampoo we know. The one we know is
strong, and not afraid of anything. The Shampoo we know would give the Kiss
of Death to anyone that would even suggest she was a coward. Please, come
back with us. Face your punishment like an Amazon. Don't throw away your
honor.>

Shampoo: (Shaking her head) <It's not my fault. I didn't want it to happen.
I don't want to die because of some stupid accident.>

RanRan: <What accident? Did you kill Mousse? He was a pig, and deserved to
die for trying to make you his wife when he was so weak and unworthy. I
don't know why you didn't kill him years ago.>

Shampoo: (Softly) <Even Mousse does not deserve death for what he did to
me. He wasn't unworthy. I just didn't love him.>

LinLin: (Confused) <Love? What difference does that make? You will marry a
strong man, just like every other Amazon, and since you are the most
powerful you will marry the strongest. You are very lucky. RanRan and I
will get weak husbands compared to yours.>

Shampoo: <There is more to a husband than strength.>

RanRan: (In disbelief.) <What are you talking about? Strength is
everything. It is what makes an Amazon what she is. Nothing else matters
besides honor and strength. That is why you have to come back. For honor.
Show that you are strong. Face your punishment.>

Shampoo: (Tears of anger start forming in her eyes.) <Even if the
punishment is wrong? I am still the same person I was since...(catches
self) before the accident. Everything I was, that made me what I am, is
still the same. That has not changed. I should be judged for what I am, not
by my appearance, not for being what others expect of me.>

RanRan: (Starting to become angry.) <That is not for you to decide. The
tribal council will judge you. You should be happy, no matter what the
judgment is. That is what makes Amazon law so special. It is always right.
Look, if they choose death for you, LinLin and I would be honored to be
your seconds.>

Shampoo: (Surprised) <You sound almost enthusiastic about helping me to
die.>

LinLin: (Soberly) <We would be saddened by your death, but happy to carry
out the law. It is our way. It is what makes us so much better than
everyone else. We are willing to do whatever it takes to make the Amazons
stronger. There is no room for weakness, like the one you are demonstrating
to us now.>

RanRan: (Angrily, points accusingly towards Shampoo) <You say you have not
changed, but that is a lie. Before you left you would never have even
thought for a moment of doing the things you do now. You speak in defiance
and of love, as though those were important things in life. You sound like
a weak outsider, and nothing like the big sister we held most dear. You
have changed, Shampoo. You are weak and a coward. (Commandingly) Come back
to China. NOW!> 

Shampoo: (Shakes her head) <I will not. I have done nothing wrong.>

LinLin: (Softly) <Please Shampoo.>

Shampoo: <No.>

LinLin lowers her trident and slashes it across the palm of her hand. She
squeezes her palm and blood drips to the ground.

LinLin: (Biting back tears.) <For your actions this day. For the defiance
you show to our elder and leader. For the cowardice you show in your
unwillingness to go back home and accept whatever judgment the council
would give you. For all these crimes, you are my sister no longer. This I
swear on my blood as an Amazon.> 

RanRan draws her belt knife and makes the same vow. LinLin brandishes her
trident in Shampoo's direction.

LinLin: <Dead or alive, you come with us now.>

Akane has listened intently and followed none of the speech. She sees
LinLin motioning with her trident and decides that she has stayed in the
background long enough.

Akane: How many times do I have to tell you people she is not going back to
China?

RanRan: Soft Japanese girl get hurt if stand in way of Amazon justice. Go
run away home.

Akane: (Growling) Think again runt.

Shampoo: (Boiling in rage and in tears.) <This is all your fault Great
Grandmother. You are the one who brought them here. You knew this would
happen. You knew I would not go back. Now, thanks to you, I have no
sisters. DAMN YOU! (She launches an attack at Cologne.)

Cologne: <Now that is foolish Great Granddaughter.> (She vaults over the
charging Shampoo and taps her on the back of her neck with her staff.
Shampoo goes down as her muscles lock up.) <The boy's protection does not
extend to you if you attack me directly.>

Akane tries to run over to Shampoo but is blocked by the pair of young
Amazons.

LinLin: (Pointing at Akane's throat with her trident.) Fight over now
Japanese Girl. Shampoo ours. We kill if you try stop.

Akane: I'd like to see you try.

LinLin: <RanRan, why don't you hurt this stupid girl?>

RanRan:<It would be my pleasure.> (She grins.)

RanRan attacks with her staff. Akane deftly blocks the two strikes. RanRan
looks surprised for a moment, then redoubles her efforts. Akane blocks and
dodges four more thrusts and sees an opening. She kicks RanRan in the leg.

LinLin: <Quit toying with her!>

RanRan: (To Akane) Japanese girl know how to fight. Did Shampoo teach?

Akane: She helped me and I helped her. (Throws a punch.)

RanRan: (Blocks the punch.)Would respect then, if Shampoo not dishonorable
dog. (Swings with staff.)

Akane: (Gets hit but rolls with it.) If you take her back they'll kill her!

RanRan: Good. If today is how she act since left, killing be only honorable
thing left her to do.

Akane: You scum!

Akane launches into a flurry of attacks. RanRan is caught off guard. She
manages to hit Akane on the way in but Tendo does not register the effect.
RanRan only manages to block the second kick as she is struck by a fist to
the jaw, two kicks to her mid-section, and then receives a body throw into
the ground.

Akane: (To the fallen RanRan.) Who's soft now?

Akane barely manages to avoid the trident thrust of LinLin. RanRan gets
back up and the two double team her. Akane is badly overmatched. LinLin
comes in high, and only quick reflexes save Akane's head. The top of her
hair is not so fortunate as it is cut just above her scalp. A second series
of attacks leaves her open to LinLin's trident a second time. She brings it
forward to run through her heart but is surprised when her trident
disappears in the middle of her thrust. She looks up to see Ranma-kun,
standing on a tree branch, holding the trident. He gives a smile to her.

Ranma: Little girls shouldn't play with dangerous toys. (He snaps the
trident over his knee and tosses the pieces away.)

Akane: (To Ranma) They're trying to take Shampoo back to China.

Ranma looks over to see Shampoo's prone form next to Cologne, who is
standing over her granddaughter. His eyes widen.

Cologne: Well, well. If it isn't my husband.

Ranma: (Aghast) What are you talking about? And what did you do to Shampoo?

Cologne: You beat me in combat boy. That means I have to marry you.

Ranma: (Clearly revolted.) No way I'm getting married to a ghoul like you.
I don't even like the one a got now.

Cologne: (Smiles) Don't worry. I'm only kidding. You're way too young for
me, and I wouldn't want to take those strong genes of yours away from
future generations. But by beating me you are afforded some protection from
me. It would, in the least, be in poor taste to attack you directly after
you defeated me, even though I was double teamed. It really is my own fault
for letting my guard down. That won't happen again. As for Shampoo, any
protection over her ends when she attacks me. Same goes for you.

Ranma: Then what's up with the two little psychos?

Cologne: I didn't say I couldn't act through others. Besides, they have a
say in this matter. Until five minutes ago they were Shampoo's sisters.

Akane: (To the duo) Shampoo's your sister?

RanRan: Was sister. Now enemy of all Amazons. She too weak to be Amazon any
more. 

Ranma: (Yelling) She's ten times the Amazon you'll ever be.

LinLin: You think that how Amazon act? (Points to Shampoo's still form.)
You not see real Amazon until you see us fight. (RanRan jumps on LinLin's
shoulders.)  

Together: Two Bodies Double Team Attack. 

They start whirling similar to the Cheerleader Whirlwind Pyramid, but much
smaller. RanRan's staff pokes out every so often but Ranma blocks the
blows. 

Ranma: Akane go in low.

Ranma grabs the staff to slow the spinning couple down. The added weight
slows the whirlwind down enough so that Akane can sweep LinLin's feet at
the base. The duo go down in a heap.

Akane: Give up yet?

RanRan: Outsiders good. Show you great honor. Finish you with Chinese Dance
of Great Fire Dragon.

Cologne: They're doomed.

The two bodies seem to merge into one. A huge dragon seems to materialize
behind them. Ranma and Akane feel afraid at first, then realize it is only
a paper dragon with two poles below it, similar to the ones used at
festivals.

Ranma: HAHA! What are you goin' do with that? Dance at us?

LinLin: No. You are.

They grab the dragon and music starts playing. Ranma and Akane start to
dance to the irresistible tune.

Akane: What's going on?

Ranma: I don't know. OW! (Akane steps on his toes.) Watch the feet!

Their second surprise comes when the Amazons start using the flame thrower
in the dragon's mouth on them.

Akane: Ranma do something!

Ranma: I am. (He starts to tap and scuffle, heel to toe, and shuffle off to
Buffalo.)

Akane: That is not what I meant!

Ranma: Do you think I want to dance? (Ranma gets toasted by the flame
thrower.) I'M ON FIRE!!!

Akane: Now is not the time to be bragging about your dancing!

Cologne: They have fought a good fight. (Sighs) I need to get out more
often. The world is changing. I didn't realize how good some of the
fighters out here are. If only we could get some new blood in the tribe. 

RanRan and LinLin together: You finished now. Chinese Dance of Great Fire
Dragon unbeatable. (They roast Ranma again.)

Cologne is smiling at the display the two Amazons are putting on. She
doesn't see Shampoo's hand reach for the pointed end of the trident which
was tossed next to her. She slowly grasps it and draws her hand back. The
makeshift spear goes flying into the middle of the dragon and breaks the
radio that was playing the music. As the music stops so does the dancing.
Cologne looks over to see that Shampoo is still laying there, but her hand
is still moving.

Cologne: (Eyes widening) She should not have regained even partial muscle
control for another five minutes.

Ranma: (Still smoldering and shouting) Do you realize what  you have done?
(To the two Amazons.) You have gone too far. It is one thing to try to take
Shampoo back to China. It is another to try to fry me alive. But to make me
watch that, (points to Akane.) clumsy gorilla try to dance is the worst
kind of torture imaginable. Have you no honor?

Akane: (With the biggest battle aura yet around her.)  I'LL SHOW YOU
TORTURE!

Ranma: Now wait a minute. I mean clumsy gorilla in the nicest way. (Falls
over a tree root as he backs away.)

Akane: (Grabs his feet.) I'll have you know I took two years of dancing
when I was little.

She picks him up and makes like she's Paul Bunyan and Ranma's the ax. She
drives him into a tree. The tree breaks but Ranma doesn't.

Akane: I can dance perfectly fine. It's not my fault Fuji broke his toes
when he was dancing with me in sixth grade. (She swings him into another
tree with the same results.) It wasn't right for them to call me Leadfoot
after that. (Swings him into yet another tree.) You say I can't act.
(Swings him around for velocity.) You say I can't cook. (Swings him around
again.) But damn it, (swing) I (swing) CAN (swing) DANCE! 

She brings Ranma up over her head and begins to arc him down. Since her
eyes are glazed over, one can't be sure if she is intentionally aiming for
the two Amazons or not. LinLin has enough sense to run away screaming
before Ranma can be brought down on her. RanRan just stares at the awesome
display of violence, jaw wide open. Ranma is brought down directly on her
head. The force of the blow drives her into the ground up to her waist.
Akane breathes heavily. Both RanRan and Ranma have stopped moving.

Cologne: I think you dance with grace and style. It was a pleasure to
watch. 

Akane: (Calms down and her aura fades.) You mean that?

Cologne: Why would I lie?

Akane: (Smiling) Thanks. People around here don't appreciate good dancing.

LinLin: (Who has come out of hiding and is helping RanRan out of the
ground.) <You can't be serious Great Grandmother. She dances like a baboon
with two club feet.>

Cologne: <It was the easiest way to defuse the situation.>

Ranma starts to come around the same time as RanRan. His eyes focus on
Akane. 

Ranma: That hurt.

Akane: Good! It was supposed to.

Ranma: Now you aren't being fai...(He is glomped onto by RanRan.)

RanRan: (Gushingly) Woda Aien.

Two fists meet flesh. Akane into Ranma's face. Shampoo into RanRan's.

Cologne: (Eyes widen again. To self.) Impossible! She should not have
regained total muscle control for another ten minutes.

Akane: RANMA! Just what do you think you are doing?

Shampoo: What RanRan think she do?

Ranma: It ain't my fault. She just grabbed on to me.

RanRan: (Smiling) It simple. Boy defeat RanRan in combat. RanRan marry
husband.

Akane: (Starts choking Ranma) You pervert!

Ranma: (Gasping) Not...my...fault.

Shampoo: You can't marry Ranma.

RanRan: Why?

Shampoo: He not beat you. He just use as a weapon.

RanRan: That not matter.

Shampoo: He already have fiancee. 

RanRan: Then have to kill fiancee. 

Shampoo: (Flatly) That girl fiancee. (Points to Akane.)

RanRan: (Looks scared for a moment. She then regains her composure.) Then
learn get along with other wife.

Ranma: Gaug! Gaug! (He is starting to lose consciousness once again as
Akane strangles him.)

Shampoo: (To RanRan) There one other reason why no can marry Ranma. (To
Akane.) Please take Ranma and go Akane. This must be done private.

Akane: Fine. (Stops strangling Ranma and drags him off around some trees.)

RanRan: <Now why can't I marry the handsome boy?>

Shampoo: (Cracking knuckles.) <I'll show you why.>

We see Akane talking loudly to the recovering Ranma. An unearthly scream
breaks out and they both look over to where it originated. They start to
run over to where the Amazons are located when they see Shampoo come from
around some trees. She looks the same as when they left except for a big
smile on her face.

Ranma: What was that?

Shampoo: RanRan not like reason why she can no marry Ranma. Let's go home.
Great Grandmother not bother us for awhile.

Shampoo leads the way, Ranma and Akane follow. 

The scene cuts back to the place that the Amazons were left at. We can see
Cologne observing some twitching limbs twisted at some odd angles.
Fortunately for us, we can't see more than that. LinLin just stares at the
mess with a look of horror on her face.

Cologne: I have to hand it to Shampoo. She disabled RanRan in such a way as
to make sure she can't fight for a while, but won't have any permanent
damage. Although the pain holds were a bit excessive. I wonder why she was
so angry, and how she got out of my pressure point blow. (Thinks.) I have
heard of those of absolute single minded purpose can sometimes come out of
them early at great personal risk, but what could have brought her to that
level of drive, I wonder? She never demonstrated it before, no matter how
hard I tried.

The scene cuts to the roof of the Tendo Dojo as the sun is starting to set.
We see Shampoo-chan is sitting on the roof staring off into sunset. Her
smile is gone and her eyes look lost. Ranma-kun jumps up from a window and
starts to approach Shampoo.

Shampoo: (Without turning her head.) Shampoo want be left alone now. 

Ranma: You sure?

Shampoo: (Still staring off) Yes. Thanks.

Ranma jumps back down into Akane's room and speaks softly to her.

Ranma: She said she wants to be alone.

Akane: I'm not sure that's a good idea.

Ranma: Me either. But we can't force her to open up to us.

They both hear a creaking from the roof. Akane peers out the window.

Akane: I don't think we need to worry any more.

Ranma: Why?

The scene cuts to the roof again. Shampoo hears the creaking and turns
around. 

Kasumi: (Climbing unsteadily onto the roof from her window.) I don't
understand the fascination you three seem to have with the roof. I think
this is just a little dangerous.

Shampoo makes sure Kasumi sits down safely beside her.

Shampoo: Shampoo want be left alone.

Kasumi: (Staring off into the sunset.) I am sure you want much more than
that. Like the magic girl water. Acceptance back into your tribe. Your
family.

Shampoo: (Sadly)  Yes.

Kasumi: You can be alone if you want. (Looks at Shampoo)  Is that what you
want?

Shampoo: (Hesitantly) Not sure.

Kasumi: Why don't you tell me about it?

Cut back to Akane's bedroom.

Akane: She's in good hands. Let's go.

Ranma: (Confused) Why is she talking with Kasumi instead of me?

Akane: Aren't there things you only talk with your father, and not any of
the girls here?

Ranma: Guy stuff. Sure.

Akane: Well its the same thing for girls. Now let's go. I'll beat you at
Shogi.

Ranma: We're going to have to tear our fathers off the board.

Akane: Good. Their games have gone on long enough. (They go downstairs.)

Back on the roof.

Kasumi: What happened today?

Shampoo: Shampoo lose family.

Kasumi: (Startled) You mean they died?

Shampoo: Not way you mean. Sisters disown Shampoo.

Kasumi: Why would they do that?

Shampoo: They follow Amazon law. Shampoo not go back when supposed to. So
they disown Shampoo.

Kasumi: That's terrible. Isn't there any way to make up with them.

Shampoo: Yes. Can go back to village and kill self. If Shampoo restore
honor, then they take back.

Kasumi: (Adamant) You can't do that. Isn't there some way around the law?

Shampoo: No. If want family back, then must go back.

Kasumi: You aren't considering that, are you?

Shampoo: (Looks at Kasumi) Shampoo think very much what happened today. At
first very hurt by sisters turning back on Shampoo. But now stop and think
about what happened. Why happened. What  was said. Shampoo think about what
sisters like. Before today, Shampoo remember sisters and think they good.
Why they so different? Why they so mean and violent girls now? When did
they become bad?

Kasumi: Even though they disowned you they are still your family. They are
still good people. This is just a big misunderstanding.

Shampoo: (Shakes her head) Shampoo at first think they do change. But now
stop and remember. Try to see how they change. Why they do what they did.
Then as Shampoo thought, she realize, they not change. (Looks at Kasumi a
bit wild eyed.)They just the same as before.

Kasumi: (Confused) I'm not sure I follow you.

Shampoo: Sisters not turn bad. They not changed. If not they change then
why they do what they did? Then answer occur to Shampoo. RanRan right. Is
Shampoo who changed. If Shampoo change, then is good change, or bad?
Sisters think bad. Why? How did Shampoo change to make things bad?

Kasumi: You are not a bad person. If they think that then are just wrong.

Shampoo: (Sadly) Kasumi, You not know Shampoo before meet with Ranma and
Pop. Now think about it. Shampoo think was not very nice person. Used to be
much more, (searches for the right word) arrogant. And very ruthless. Did
whatever took to get what wanted. Well, almost anything. Also, Shampoo used
to beat people up to prove better, had to do many times. When younger, even
beat up friends because had to be best. After awhile, Shampoo not have any
friends. So act like not care. Am supposed to be leader, so above needing
friends. Shampoo had people that look up to her, but not like equals. Only
Mousse remain same. But he want wife, not friend.  It was nice he not
change. (More softly) At least before Jusenkyou. Shampoo also not give Kiss
of Death like should. Old Shampoo would give Kiss of Death to Pervert,
Pretty Boy, probably Mousse for making fight in cursed spring. But not do
that.

Kasumi: You don't have to tell...

Shampoo: (Cuts her off) Yes! Shampoo do have to tell. Great Grandmother
teach that to lead tribe may have to do hurt to people for good of Amazons.
Can no let feelings get in way. So Shampoo try not care about feelings. Do
this for very long time. After all, if no care, then no can be hurt.
Shampoo think she successful for long time. Try to remember when in tribe
and feel bad about something. But not feel bad about anything did, unless
it about failing something that need to become leader. Those only times
Shampoo feel bad since she very little. Maybe things would start to bother,
but quickly put them out of mind because they just get in way. Shampoo live
that way for very long time. 

She pauses to catch her breath. Kasumi just continues to look concerned
towards her.

Shampoo: But once fall into cursed spring, then everything change. Now can
no go back to village because everything different. Everything Shampoo
learn, everything Shampoo do, everything Shampoo live for, all gone with
splash of water. Shampoo had nothing but village and to become leader, now
don't have that. So now what could Shampoo do? (Shudders) If not for Ranma
and Pop, Shampoo think maybe she would have gone back to village anyway. If
all life there, then maybe it right death be there to.

Kasumi rests a hand on her shoulder.

Shampoo: But Ranma and Pop were there. When they see how much Shampoo hurt,
and that she can no go back to village, they say, "Shampoo, you can come
with us." Shampoo not understand. They not ask for anything. They just
offer for no reason, so Shampoo say yes. Shampoo spent many days with Ranma
and Pop. After a while, see how Ranma and Pop act. It so different from
everything Shampoo see when living in Joketsuzoku. Yes, they train, but not
like when learn with Great Grandmother. It different, they not so serious.
They laugh, make jokes, shout at each other, but not shout mean like when
Great Grandmother do. Shampoo learn that can have fun when train. Shampoo
discover she like being with Ranma and Pop. And also, Shampoo see world
outside village for first time. It so different. So many things and people.
Shampoo try to learn all but can't. There's too much. And so much is
different from what learn from Great Grandmother. So maybe that why change.
New Shampoo do many things Old Shampoo would never do. Old Shampoo not act
in play, or go to school, or stuff like that. But most surprising thing is,
Shampoo like these things very much. All these things are fun, and have
nothing to do with leading. That go against everything Shampoo taught. (She
takes a deep breath.) So now Shampoo know she change. Now ask self if want
to change back to way Old Shampoo was. And you know what answer is? (Kasumi
shakes her head.) Shampoo not want to go back to way Shampoo was.
(Concentrates) "I" like being the way I am. I like this new "me". (Face
relaxes.) Shampoo prefer talk like this. It easier. So now have no family,
and, most important, Shampoo know not want to go back to way Shampoo was.
(Looks down to the ground) That mean family gone forever.

Kasumi: (Hugs Shampoo tightly) You'll always have us.

Shampoo just sits there limp for a few moments, then returns the embrace.

Shampoo: Like that very much. Shampoo want thank Kasumi.

Kasumi: For what?

Shampoo: You much responsible for Shampoo change, at least as much as Ranma
and Pop. You nice person that treat Shampoo good since got here. Shampoo
like the way you are and try to be more like you. More understanding, and
not so violent. Shampoo know that she different from you, but still can
learn things from you. That part of reason why Shampoo like changes. Know
that am better now than what Shampoo was before. Now have favor to ask.

Kasumi: Yes. What is it?

Scene cuts to the living room. Everyone is present except Shampoo and
Kasumi. The table is set up for dinner. We see Akane's hair has been evened
out, at crew cut length. She doesn't look happy about it.

Ranma-kun: So what's the occasion?

Akane: Beats me.

Kasumi and Shampoo-chan come in bearing platters of food. Shampoo is
wearing a formal Chinese gown. On the platters are exotic Chinese dishes
that look scrumptious. 

Genma: (Drooling) Ohhhhh!

Soun: What a feast.

Nabiki: Looks expensive.

Ranma: Looks great. How come you guys went to so much trouble though?

Kasumi: (Beaming) Shampoo made all of this.

Shampoo: Shampoo make this to show appreciation for all everyone do for
her. So Shampoo make food as way of thanks. Do you accept token of
gratitude. (Everyone nods their heads. Shampoo smiles and bows.) Then
Shampoo thank all. Dig in.

Everyone starts chowing down.

Akane catches Ranma staring at her.

Akane: What are you looking at pervert?

Ranma: (He scowls at Akane then turns to Shampoo) Since we're in such an
honest mood now, I would like to say something to Akane. That is the best
policy, right?

Shampoo: Yes. Is good idea.

Ranma: Very well. (To Akane) That haircut is the most stupid thing I have
ever seen.

Akane: (Face starts twitching. Speaks to Shampoo.) Since we are in such an
honest and caring mood now, I would like to show my appreciation to Ranma
by helping him with some of the skills I have learned. All right?

Shampoo: ( A bit bewildered) Yes is O.K.

Akane: Good. (Pulls out a pair of garden shears.) Ranma, since you don't
like my dancing, I thought I'd show you my barbering abilities. First, we
take off that pony tail of yours. 

Ranma: (Getting up) You get away from me with those cutters, you butcher.

Akane: (Soothingly) Come on. It won't hurt. Much. (She opens and closes the
shears for emphasis.) 

Ranma starts running, with Akane in hot pursuit.

Genma: (Raises his glass) Ah! To family.

Everyone still sitting joins the toast.

The scene is the same shore where Cologne met RanRan and LinLin last
chapter. The same ship is here with gangplank extended. LinLin is walking
up it on her own. 
RanRan is in a body cast is being wheeled on by two crewmen.               
                                                                           
    

LinLin: <I'm sorry we failed you Great Grandmother.>

Cologne: <It just means you have to try harder next time. Go with my
blessings. And tell RanRan that Shampoo was right. The boy was used as a
weapon, so he did not actually beat her in combat. And tell her not to
worry about a "Kiss of Death" either. I'll take care of it. >

Cologne watches the ship cast off and sail into the horizon.

Cologne: Well, it looks like I had better come up with a better plan. And
better agents.

Part 2
The Accidental Tourist

(Writer's note: In case you didn't know. in this alternate universe, Ryouga
turns into a bat instead of a piglet. As a bat he has a sense of direction,
but he still hates turning into one. Enjoy!)

Days later, we see the scene opening on the streets of Nerima. Akane,
Shampoo-chan, and Ranma-kun are walking down the street. Akane leads the
way.

Akane: They say this new place is something else. I'm so hungry I could eat
a horse

Ranma: Well, I'm so hungry I could eat an elephant.

Shampoo: Shampoo as hungry as Pop.

Akane and Ranma: (Together) You win.

The trio approach a street diner with a steady flow of customers going in
and out. Ranma looks up and sees a name on the awning above the entrance.
It has UK-CHAN'S written on it. But that is a recent change. Beneath the K
we see a C has been crossed out.

Ranma: (Thinks) Nahh. Couldn't be.

The trio enter the restaurant and sit down at an empty booth. Ranma sits
with Shampoo and Akane sits across from Ranma. A waiter comes up.

Ryouga: What would you li...(His voice trails off.)

All three stare at him in surprise. He is in his standard yellow and black
outfit with the addition of an apron and head set.

Ranma: What are you doing here? 

Ryouga: I work here. What are you doing here?

Ranma: We came to eat.

Ukyou: (From behind the counter where she is cooking.) Ryouga, wait on
them.

Ryouga: But they...

Ukyou: Don't worry about it. It saves me the trouble of running them down
later.

Ryouga: (Growling) What would you like?

Ranma: Menus, bloodsucker!

Ryouga: (Hands them some menus.) Now what would you like?

Ranma: Some time to decide.

Ryouga: (Growls) Fine. (Wanders off.)

The three keep one eye on their menus and one eye on Ryouga. He seems to be
doing just what he said he was doing, waiting on tables. Eventually he
comes back to their table.

Ryouga: Ready yet? (He looks ready to fight.)

Ranma: Why do you have that stupid headset on? You don't have a drive-thru.

Ryouga: None of your business.

Akane: (Trying to play peacekeeper) What would you recommend?

Ryouga: (Thoughtfully) Probably the okonomiyaki.

Ranma: Since this is an okonomiyaki restaurant, and there is nothing but
okonomiyaki on the menu, do you think you could be a little more specific?

Ryouga: (Shouts) I have heard enough out of you!

Ryouga balls his fist up and draws it back to strike. Ukyou quickly jumps
over the counter and puts a restraining hand on his shoulder.

Ukyou: Go get the order for table twelve.

Ryouga: But...

Ukyou: Just do it. Please.

Ryouga gives a cold stare to Ranma, bows his head to Ukyou, and makes his
way over to the counter to pick up the tray of food. Ukyou stands next to
the booth were the trio sit.

Ukyou: I want to ask you a favor Ran-chan. 

Ranma: Go ahead.

Ukyou: I would appreciate it if you didn't have any fights in the
restaurant. It would mean a lot to me. 

Ranma: Sure, but how you goin' to get Bat Boy to go along?

Ukyou: I already got him to agree, so there isn't any problem there. Can
you keep the bimbo in line?

Shampoo: Shampoo not bimbo!

Ukyou: All right, all right. Can you keep that thing on a tight leash.

Ranma: (Puts a restraining hand on Shampoo) Shampoo will keep her word.

Customer: Miss can we have our food now?

Ukyou: Ryouga should have...(Looks around and sees no Ryouga.) Not again!
(Takes out a walkie-talkie from her uniform and turns it on.) Come in
Ryouga, over.

The scene cuts to Ryouga carrying a tray of food inside a floral shop. He
is looking around for something. The customers are staring.

Ryouga: Now where is table twelve? 

His thoughts are interrupted by a voice in his headset.

Ukyou: Come in Ryouga, over.

Ryouga: I'm here. Go ahead.

Ukyou: Where are you? (He gives a description of where he is.)

The scene cuts back to Ukyou.

Ukyou: It sounds like you are in the floral shop down the street. Here is
how you get back. (She gives him directions.)

Ranma: That isn't the way back to here.

Ukyou: If it's the one thing a learned in the short time I've known Ryouga,
it is that if you give him a direction to go in, he goes the opposite way.
Now, what did you guys want?

Ryouga finds his way back to the restaurant, still bearing the tray of now
cold food. Ukyou is behind the counter once again.

Ryouga: Sorry. I don't know why that keeps happening.

Ukyou: Don't worry. I'll make the signs on the tables bigger. Here is
Ranma's, Akane's, and Shampoo's order. (She points out which item is
whose.)

Ryouga: (At the table.) Here is yours Akane. (Hands it over to her nicely.)
Here is yours Shampoo. (Hands it to her nicely.) And here's yours Ranma.
(Puts the plate on top of his head. Ranma's quick reflexes are all that
prevents the dinner from ending up on his lap.

Ranma: You call that service? You can forget a tip.

Ryouga: I wouldn't expect a tip from a deadbeat like you. (Walks off to
wait on another table. Ukyou prevents him from walking into the bathroom.)

Ranma: Hey Ukyou. Why did you change the name of this place?

Ukyou: (Too quickly) No reason.

Ryouga: She couldn't very well name it after the man who hurt her so badly.
Isn't that right Uk-chan?

Ukyou just blushes and nods.

The trio dig into their meal. 

Akane: Ummm. This is delicious!

Ranma: Yeah. So is mine. It was a good idea coming here.

Shampoo: (Gagging) This taste like wallpaper paste.

Ukyou: (Who had been watching Shampoo intently, hears her comment and
smiles.) So that's where the rest of it went. Good call. (Smiles, then
holds up a can of empty wallpaper paste so Shampoo can see it.) I
apologize. Let me make you a new one.

Shampoo: No thanks. Would rather eat Akane cooking than Stupid Spatula
Girl's.

Akane: (Angrily) Just what is that supposed to mean?

Ranma: What she's trying to say is that there is a difference between
making batter out of wallpaper paste, and making a batter that tastes like
wallpaper paste.

Akane: Why you! RANMA NO BAKA! (She throws a punch at Ranma that is blocked
by Shampoo.) 

Shampoo: Stupid Spatula Girl not want us fight in store.

Akane just grunts at Shampoo and eats the rest of her meal in silence.
Ranma has the good sense to remain silent as well. The trio leave Uk-Chan's
and go home. As they leave Ukyou notices her grill giving off smoke. She
shuts it down and examines it, discovering a coil needs replaced.

Ukyou: Great. Now I have to close the place and get a replacement part.

Ryouga: Why not let me do it?

Ukyou: Well, I probably could baby it the rest of the night, but there's no
way it will be running tomorrow. Are you sure you feel up to it?

Ryouga: I won't fail you. Just make sure you draw me a precise map. (Ukyou
does so and sends him on his way.)

The scene changes again to a street in Nerima. We see Ryouga standing in
front of a sign pole with the street names of Gamera Street and Ghidora
Drive. He is looking over a piece of paper in his hand.

Ryouga: Ukyou gave me this map to find that parts store with the stuff for
the oven. She said she needs this by tomorrow, or she won't be able to open
the store. (Yells to the sky) I owe her too much to fail her in this task!
(Looks back down at the map.) Now, I'm supposed to go down Gamera Street. 

We see the pole suddenly shift. Now Gamera and Ghidora roads are reversed.
Ryuoga reads the sign, looks down on the map, looks back up, looks down the
new Gamera Street, and nods. He then heads down Ghidora Drive. A head pops
out of the sign and watches Ryouga's retreating form.

Tsubasa-pole: I don't know how he knew that it was a trap. (We see a car go
down the new Gamera Street. Moments later we hear an explosion.) I had
better get to the next ambush site. (The sign hops down the road.)

The scene cuts to downtown Nerima. Ryouga is standing on the sidewalk
looking at his map again.

Ryouga: The map says go to Shiro's Repairs. (Looks at Shiro's, then looks
at Ma Maison's across the street.) Right. Got it. (Goes into Ma Maison.)

A sign in front of Shiro's gets up.

Tsubasa-sign: Blast! He did it again. (The sign gets up and goes into the
restaurant.)

Ryouga: (Inside the restaurant. He talks to the maitre'd.) Where do I find
a coil for a stove?

Maitre'd: (Hands Ryouga a menu.) Do you see what you need? (Ryouga shakes
his head.) That is because this a restaurant. You want the repair shop
across the street. 

Ryouga gets specific directions to cross the street. As he leaves a man is
seated at an empty table. We see a head pop out of a table. It then gets up
and walks out of the restaurant. The patron looks at the table and decides
to follow by hoping along on his chair. 

Outside the restaurant we see Ryouga looking directly across the street at
Shiro's. Next door two movers are putting furniture in a van.

Ryouga: I have it in my line of sight. Now all I need to do is not take my
eyes off it and cross the street. But it's dangerous to cross without
looking both ways. I might get hit by a car. What do I do? (Thinks for a
few minutes.) Got it! I'll just smash any car that tries to run me over. 

Ryouga crosses the street, destroying two cars in the process.
Tsubasa-table hops out of the restaurant followed by the patron on his
chair.

Tsubasa-table: This guy is a total space case. What does Ukyou see in him
anyway? I'd better set up my ambush. 

Just as Tsubasa goes to cross the street one of the movers picks him up.

Tsubasa-table: Just what do you think you are doing?

Mover #1: (To Mover #2) Hey, this table's talking to me.

Mover #2: We're getting paid by the job, not the hour. Knock it out and put
it on.

Mover #1 slugs Tsubasa in the head and puts him in the van. The patron hops
in the van on his chair and sits next to Tsubasa. The movers close the back
of the van and drive off.

Patron: I wonder when the waiter is going to take my order.

Scene cuts to a Ryouga holding a bag and wandering the corridors of a large
mansion. 

Ryouga: I should have asked Ukyou to write down directions for getting
back.

He opens two huge doors and comes upon Kunou sitting at a large table with
a huge boar on a spit in the middle. Sasuke is serving his master.

Ryouga: This isn't Uk-chan's, is it?

Kunou: Nay knave. This is Kunou Manor. Why do you intrude?

Ryouga: (Bows) It was an honest mistake. I'll leave.

Kunou: Hold! Ordinarily I would have you fed to the dogs, or my sister's
pet, Mr. Green Turtle. But it has been quiet in her absence. Too quiet. I
would allow you to dine with me and stay at the manor this evening. It is
quite late.

Ryouga: GREAT! I love pork!

Ryouga stuffs his face and retires to a bedroom.

Kunou: A word of warning. Touch nothing in the bedroom. Most of it is
poisoned in one way or another, and you do not have years of taking small
doses of toxins to build up immunities to them that I have. (Ryouga thanks
him and leaves.) I do pause in my reverie to wonder what my twisted sister
is up to.

The scene cuts to the North Pole. We see Kodachi wearing a babushka and
winter clothes. She is riding on the back of a panda with glasses, ribbon
twirling. We see teams of irate Eskimos on dog sleds chasing them, followed
by some polar bears, then followed by a single penguin. (Writers note: Yes,
I am fully aware penguins are indigenous only to the South Pole and
Pittsburgh. They got this one really angry.)

Kodchi: OHHOHOHOHOHO!

Scene shifts to Kunou Manor early the next day.

Ryouga: I have a few hours to get to Uk-Chan's, I better leave now.

He sets off down a long corridor in the house. As he passes a grandfather
clock it sprouts a head.

Tsubasa-clock: (Watching Ryouga's retreating form.) He's had it now.

Sasuke suddenly comes out of his hiding spot in the floor.

Sasuke: (pointing to Tsubasa.) Ah ha! An intruder.

Tsubasa changes disguises before Sasuke's eyes. He throws a black mask over
his face. 

Tsubasa-Ninja: Look! I'm a ninja.

Sasuke: Oh. Then I suppose you can do this. (A net springs out from his
hands and wraps up Tsubasa.)

Kunou appears.

Kunou: So. Yet another intruder. I do sense this one's intentions are not
honorable like the other's. Very well. We shall feed him to Mr. Green
Turtle.

Tsubasa-Ninja: (Thinks) What a weirdo. Turtles don't eat people.

He is taken to a pool out back and hung over a pond. A large shadow is seen
under the water. An alligator emerges with a collar around it's neck.

Tsubasa: (Screaming) I thought you said it was a turtle!

Kunou: Nay. I said it's name is Mr. Green Turtle. (Points to the collar.
Sure enough. We can see it says Mr. Green Turtle.)

Kunou drops him in the water and walks away with Sasuke. We see Tsubasa
jumping up and down in the pond trying to keep away from the alligators
jaws.

We cut to Ryuoga walking up a street on a hill. He looks about, obviously
lost.

Ryouga: Well, I better ask where I am.

Ryouga hears a noise and turns around. He witnesses a bizarre scene. He
sees a red haired girl in a white and blue school uniform holding the hand
of a blond haired girl, also in like uniform. That is not what is unusual.
The red head is running at about the speed of a bullet train. The blond is
flying through the air is she is dragged behind the red head. Behind Ryuoga
we see a garbage can with Tsubasa's head sticking out has jumped into the
middle of the road.

Ryouga: Excuse me Miss...

A-ko: Look Out!

A-ko runs over him. Flattening him. She also levels Tsubasa without slowing
down.

C-ko: Sorry. 

Ryouga: (Gets up weakly, with footprints all over him.) No Problem. (Passes
out.)

The scene cuts to an open dune like area surrounded by a chain link fence.
Ryouga destroys a section of the fence in order to pass through. We see a
section of the fence detach itself and start to follow him. It sprouts
Tsubasa's head.

Ryouga: Wonder where I am now?

The camera pans to a place where we see a sign that says: Missile Testing
Range. KEEP OUT! We hear the whine of an engine. A missile explodes next to
Ryouga, hitting the section of fence that was following him. Rocks start
raining down.

Ryouga: (Pulls out his umbrella.) What a bizarre place for it to be raining
rocks. Well, at least it isn't water. (Ryouga disappears in the following
explosions.)

Scene changes again we see a low camera angle looking up at Ryouga's face.
We can see nothing else. 

Ryouga: Guess I had better face it. If I don't change into a bat I might
never get to Ukyou. (Sighs) And I so wanted to show her I could do this as
a man. Well, guess I had better find some water. 

The scene pans up so we can see Ryouga is in the middle of a desert.  Dunes
are all that can be seen anywhere, save for one cactus behind Ryouga.

Ryouga: This might be a little more difficult than I thought. (Walks off.
The cactus sprouts a head and follows.)

Tsubasa-cactus: Where is this baka going now?

We see Ryouga travel in circles for hours, then days, the cactus always
right behind him. He starts crying out in misery when he realizes he has
missed his deadline to get back to Ukyou. Eventually, after several weeks
he and the cactus get back to civilization. They arrive in a huge city.
Ryouga looks around. He is next to a police call box. 

Ryouga: Maybe I should try to call someone. 

He enters the box. On the outside it is about five feet by six feet. Inside
we see a white sterile room which is dominated by a round control panel in
the middle of the twenty by thirty room. A cylinder with a glowing object
in it is above the panel. There is an open corridor behind in the far wall
leading a long way off. A Caucasian man appearing in his late thirties with
curly brown hair and wearing a brown trench coat with scarf is fiddiling
with the controls. He looks up.

The Doctor: (Looking up. In English) Hello there. Would you like a
jellybaby? (Pulls a bag out of his coat.)

Ryouga: (To self) Sounds like English. (Ryouga speaks in heavily accented
English) No Thanks.

The Doctor: (Thinks) Sounds like Japanese. (Speaks in fluent Japanese) Do
you know where I am?

Ryouga: I can't say. I'm afraid I'm lost.

The Doctor: Do you think it's Bangladesh?

Ryouga: No. Most people outside were Caucasians.

The Doctor: (To self) Blast. (To Ryouga) Do you know what year it is?

Ryouga: That's an easy one, 1997.

The Doctor: I am two hundred years off the mark. 

He slams his fist into the control panel. The object in the cylinder moves
up and down. The ship starts making a wheezing noise.

The Doctor: How would you like to travel through time and space and help me
save the universe?

Ryouga: (Depressed) Sure. Why not? Maybe I can get lost there too.

The Doctor: I prefer to think of it as the hand of fate randomly deciding
your destiny. I am glad you have decided to join. (To self) Especially
since I am not sure where we were or if we could get back there.

He takes off his coat and places it upon a newly arrived coat rack. He
looks at it suspiciously for a moment, then escorts Ryouga to show him his
new home. The coat rack sprouts Tsubasa's head.

Tsubasa-rack: (Fear in his eyes) What  has he gotten me into now?

The scene cuts to the outside of the street. The Tardis (police call box
time machine) slowly disappears.

Some time later we see the street outside of Uk-Chan's which is still
closed this morning. The Tardis slowly reappears. Ryouga gets out. He is
now dressed in a black and yellow trench coat, a low black and yellow hat,
as well as his backpack and umbrella. The Doctor follows him. 

The Doctor: Well. How does it feel to be back home?

Ryuoga: It's still here. (Points to Uk-Chan's.) I thought it might be gone.
I am a little scared. It's been so long. Still, I'm not sorry I helped save
the universe, what was it, three times?

The Doctor: Four.

Ryouga: Right. I won't forget the time we fought the Cyber Men...

Flashback: We see several metal men with ray guns firing on Ryouga and the
Doctor. Ryouga throws a mail box, with Tsubasa's head sticking out of it,
at the men to block their blasts. The mail box gets blasted.

Ryouga: ...or the Daleks...

Flashback: We see some odd looking trash can like robots firing beams of
energy at Ryouga and the Doctor. Ryouga throws a log, with Tsubasa's head
sticking out of it, at the Daleks to block the blasts. The log gets
blasted.

Ryouga: ...or the Master...

Flashback: We see a Caucasian, man snappily dressed with slick black hair,
pointing a rod at Ryouga and the Doctor. The rod is emitting some kind of
energy. Ryouga throws a chair, with Tsubasa's head sticking out of it, to
block the blast. We see the chair get disintegrated.

Ryouga...or the most dangerous of all. The Dreaded Rabbits of Xeczis.

Flashback: We see a horde of cute bunnies rushing toward Ryouga and the
Doctor. Ryouga throws a giant carrot, with Tsubasa's head sticking out of
it after he somehow reintegrated himself, at the rabbits. We see the cute
bunnies fall onto the carrot an a wave.

The Doctor: Yes those were pretty big adventures, even for me. Thanks for
helping. Hope you find a cure for your condition.

Ryouga: Thanks. (Looks forlornly at Uk-Chan's) 

The Doctor: Ryouga, don't worry. (Winks at him.) Things have a tendency to
work out.

The Doctor steps back into the Tardis. 

Ryouga: I wonder if she even remembers me? It's has been so many months.
(Starts to walk up to the place. Then stops.) I can't do it. I can't stand
to see the look of hatred for me she'll have in her face when I step
through those doors. Goodbye forever Uk-chan. (He, of course, walks right
into Uk-Chan's.)

Outside we hear the Tardis start up. At the last second we see Tsubasa,
dressed in nothing other than a torn dress, jump out at the last second
before it disappears. 

Tsubasa: (Kissing the ground for awhile.) I thought I would never make it
home. Now someone pays. (Walks into Uk-Chan's)

Inside the restaurant Ryouga enters, sees where he is at, and turns to
leave. He is stopped  in his tracks by the sound of Ukyou's voice.

Ukyou: (Happily) Morning Ryouga. You made it. Nice threads by the way.

Ryouga: You remember me. (Rushes up to her.) I am sorry. Sorry I failed
you. I will leave and never darken your doorway again.

Ukyou: (Confused) What are you talking about? I told you I needed it by
opening today. There is still two hours before we open.

Ryouga: (Confused) What? But I...(A thought comes to mind.) What day is it?


Ukyou: Saturday.

Ryouga: What month and year?

Ukyou: (Looking at him strangely)  October, 1997.

Ryouga: (Starts crying) He did it. He sent me back to before I left.
(Shouts up to the sky.) Thank you, thank you Doctor!

Ukyou: Ryouga you're starting to scare me.

Ryouga: I'll explain everything later.

Ukyou: Where's the part?

Ryouga: (Looks confused for a moment. Then remembers.) Right. The part.

Starts going through the coat. He pulls a variety of alien artifacts from
it but no part. He rummages through his pack but no part there either. He
starts raging at the ceiling.

Ryouga: (In despair) It's not fair. I saved the universe. I went to other
times and planets. And all I wanted was...one...lousy...part. (He starts
smashing his head onto the cooking surface.)

Ukyou: (Gets him to stop and places a hand on his shoulder.
Sympathetically) It's all right. You tried, that's all I care about. (Looks
around for something to cheer him up. Spots a package. Grabs it and takes
it to him.) Someone left this for you yesterday after you went to the shop.
He said he was a friend. (She hands it to him.)

Ryouga: What could it be? (Opens the package. The oven part is in it, along
with a note.)

Note: See. I told you things would work out. But you should really be more
careful with what you leave laying around. I nearly hooked this up to the
Tardis.

Ryouga: (Looking up once more.) Thank you Doctor.

Tsubasa storms in. 

Ukyou: (Goes for her spatula.) Tsubasa. How did you find me?

Tsubasa: (Ignores Ukyou. Points to Ryouga.) You! (Ryouga looks confused.)
All I wanted was to set an ambush. But no! You had to ruin it. First I get
lugged to some crazy skater's house. She thought I was cute as a table.
Then I get test fired by missiles. Then a spend weeks in a desert with no
water. I still don't know how we survived. But all of that could have been
forgiven. And then you sent me through time and space.

Ukyou: Why aren't you in one of your stupid disguises?

Tsubasa: They were all blasted off of me by him. (Points to Ryouga.)

Ryouga: Do I know you?

Tsubasa: (Starts laughing insanely.) Do you know me? Do you know me? How
could you forget your personal shield for all your adventures? I was the
first thing you always grabbed and threw at the enemy who was always firing
at you. Do you know how hard it is to get back from being disintegrated?

Ryouga: No.

Tsubasa: Well its tough. But the absolute worst was those DAMN RABBITS!
THEY CHEWED ON ME AND CHEWED ON ME FOR HOURS! THOSE CREATURES WERE SO
STUPID, THEY COULDN'T EVEN TELL I WASN'T A VEGETABLE!

Ryouga: Umm, sorry?

Tsubasa: That won't cut it. At first, I did this for Ukyou. But now, I am
going to hurt you for me. (He is slammed in the head by an Ukyou wielded
spatula. He drops to the floor.)

Ukyou: I don't think so. (She ties him up and throws him into a passing
garbage truck.) Can you believe that guy. Traveling across time and space.
He has really gone off the deep end.

Ryouga: Ukyou. I have something to tell you about that. (Hesitates.) But
first, could you make me one of those special okoknomyaki's?

Ukyou: Sure, but I thought you had three of them yesterday. (Smiles)

Ryouga: It seems a lot longer than that. (Smiles back. Then quietly to
self) It feels good to be back home.

Epilogue

We see a young, unfamiliar, girl in a shrine maiden's robes standing at the
top of a hill, in preview pose, looking down at Furinkan High.

Girl: The evil I sense lies in that school. An evil I must destroy.
HAHAHAHA. (Sinister laughter.) 

End Notes: 
Yes. Shampoo has changed a lot. It just proves that hanging around Kasumi
can settle down even the most outgoing of souls. As I mentioned, I will
probably convert this to prose at some later time. The next chapter will
almost definitely be in prose.