Me and a friend were thinking about Kuno earlier today {yes on purpose,
no we weren't high} and he came up with this idea, and I HAD to write it. It
just sang to me. So go ahead. Read. Tell me what'ya think.

      


                           The Sound of Victory.

-Concept by David "Hentai-kun" Carter.   {mercutioV@aol.com}
-Story by Matthew Giglia, the Magnificient Mr.Bean.

<Takahashi disclaimer goes HERE>

      
      The great and noble Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High,
rising young star of the high school kendo world, last scion of an ancient
and mighty house of warriors, yelled in frustration as his archnemesis once
again cowardly fled from the scene of battle before he could be righteously
smitten.

      Or, in non-Kunospeak, he let out an agonized groan from his
semi-comatose position on Furinkan's athletic field as Ranma Saotome once
again laid him low and departed.

"I'm tellin' ya, it's like the jerk gets easier every day. I dunno why I even
bother."
"Really Kuno-baby, if you don't improve, I won't get anymore bets on you _at
all_."
"Master Kuno!! Master Kuno!! Are you all right, Master?"

      "Worry not, good Sasuke." Kuno, utilizing that amazing healing factor
peculiar to martial artists in Nerima, raised himself up off the ground as
the crowd of gawkers began to disperse. "As if the cretinous fiend could harm
one such as I. Come, we must return home so as to began preparations for my
next encounter with the sorcerous Saotome."

      "Yes, Master Kuno. Of course, Master Kuno." Sasuke rolled his eyes
ever-so-slightly as he and his master began their trek away from Furinkan
High, towards the deathtrap affectionately  referred to as 'home'."

      "Tatewaki Kuno?" A voice hissed softly from behind the two. They
turned, in surprise; neither had noticed the presence of the cloaked and
hooded figure now before them, a most serious lapse for a martial artist of
any caliber.

      "Yes, I am he who is known as Tatewaki Kuno, the BLUE THUNDER OF FUR-"
      "A simple yes or no would have sufficed, o great 'Blue Thunder'." Said
the man sardonically. Before either Kuno or Sasuke could respond, he said,
"Tell me, how would like to be able to defeat Ranma Saotome? Not once, but on
a regular basis? If the answer is yes, I can be of some assistance." The man
reached under his cloak and pulled out a long katana blade, brandishing it
expertly.
      Kuno frowned. Ever since the unfortunate incident with the watermelons,
he had been wary of such things as this. However, the opportunity to be able
to smite the insipid Saotome was enough to pique his interest.

      "Verily, I do indeed desire to humble the fiend, and so free both my
beloveds from his evil grasp. Tell me, how will you enable me to accomplish
this?"

"Oh, it's quite simple, my verbose friend. All you need to do is stick out
your tongue."
"Vewy well,but I canna thee how thith-"
*SWISH*
"MASTER KUNOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"


------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------

      It was another day at Furinkan High. Well, more specifically, just
outside of Furinkan High, where Ranma and Akane where arriving through the
gates. As was the case in 99.975% of their mornings, they were arguing.

      "WHAT did you say about my cooking, Ranma? I'll have you know I worked
VERY hard on that lunch, and-"

"Aw, what does an uncute tomboy like you know about foo-AGH!! URK!!
OOOFFF!!!!"

      Amazingly enough, it _wasn't _  Akane pummeling him into dust this
time. She was all set to, her mallet at the ready, when suddenly...

      "KUNO??!?!?!!!!?" Indeed, Kuno was there, attacking Ranma viciously
with his famous 'Strike of a Thousand Blows' technique. The only difference
was that this time he was actually _connecting_ with the blows: Ranma was
being struck in the ribs, stomach, neck, legs; anywhere on the body where
there was a vulnerable point, Kuno's  bokken was there. As Akane watched,
with a strange mixture of curiosity and horror, Ranma received three
particularly damaging blows to the head and went down hard.

"RANMA!!!" Akane was immediately at his side, cradling his head in her arms.
"Wow!! Lookit that! Kuno beat Saotome!!"
"If I hadna been here to see it..."
"No way..."
"I _AM_ impressed, Kuno-baby. If only I'd known ahead of time, I'd have
cleaned up."

       "Urkh." Ranma raised his now battered and bruised head and looked at
Kuno, who was standing there smirking at him. Strangely enough, there was no
incredibly pompous victory speech issuing forth from him. "How- how'd he do
that ta' me? I never even heard him comin'..." At this statement, Kuno began
to laugh. At least, that's what was assumed; his shoulders shook with obvious
mirth, but no sound came forth.

      "Hey.. Kuno, what... how?" Ranma, by now well enough to regain his
feet, stared at his now somehow formidable opponent. "How the heck did you do
that, man? Some kind of new technique? Huh?"

      At this, Kuno's shoulders began to shake even harder, and his face
contorted in what looked like laughter, but still no sound emerged. He shook
his head and turned away, walking toward the entrance to the school.

     "Huh? Hey, c'mon, tell me!! How did you do it? Huh? Huh? Are you
listening to me? Hey, don't ignore me, you arrogant... dammit, Kuno, SAY
SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!"

Kuno smiled.

                               The End.


I am one sad, strange little man.