A little longer this time.  I tried to include more detail.

Let me know if you like the change.

[AMS] [UY] "Chaos and Death" (5/?)
Chapter Five: "Vanity and Prophecy."
By Henry J. Cobb
$Id: chaos_death5.txt,v 1.6 1997/10/12 22:44:26 hcobb Exp $

The Ah! Megami-sama! characters and situations are the creation of Kosuke
Fujishima.

The Urusei Yatsura characters and situations are the creation of Rumiko
Takahashi.

No infringement of their copyrights is intended.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Night on Kuramayama, a line of teenagers forced a path through the dark
woods.

"Are you sure this is the right way, Ataru?"  A slim girl with shoulder
length auburn hair asked the boy at the front of the line.

"Sure it is Shinobu, trust me."  He turned around and gave her a goofy
grin.  Along with his uncombed hair, it wasn't very reassuring.

"It's a bit to the right."  The next girl in line brushed her long black
hair away from her eyes and stared off into the woods.

"How can you see anything in this darkness Skuld?"  The girl following her
asked.  She was a little fuller bodied than Skuld and Shinobu and unlike
them wore a dress and eyeshadow.

"I took a good bearing on the crash Kumiko, here."

Kumiko was sure that Skuld hadn't been holding that compass a moment ago,
but maybe she had just taken it out of one of the pockets in her khaki
shirt or shorts.  After all, it hadn't stopped spinning.

"Ataru stop, you're right on top of one of them."  Skuld stepped forwards.

"What?"  Ataru asked.

"Ow!"  A voice sounded from the darkness underneath Ataru.

"What's this?"  Ataru picked up a crow by it's shirt.  "It's a Tengu!"
The crow had arms as well as wings and wore sandals, pants and a pointed
hat in addition to the shirt.

"It's one of the aliens."  Skuld walked up to study the creature.  It
wasn't of a familiar type, but it didn't seem to be a demon.

"Hic!"  The Tengu studied Ataru's face.  "OK, you'll do."  It pulled out a
radio.  "OK, I've, hic, got him.  Reel us in."

A great wind blew through the group, blowing out most of the torches and
flattening the group.  The Tengu grabbed ahold of Ataru's shirt and held
it's wings against the wind as the two were swept away.

Skuld thought for a moment and realised what was bothering her.  "It
wasn't using a translation device!  A creature from another star, and it's
a native speaker of Japanese!"  She got up and spun around with her eyes
closed then stopped with her finger pointing at the nearest suitable
surface of water.  She ran off in that direction.

"Where are you going?"

"Off to save Ataru, Sensei Onsen-Mark!"

"But he was blow this way!"

Skuld found the puddle that remained from a creek.  A pair of frogs
jumped away as she formed a vortex in its surface.

"Yeow!"  Skuld emerged from boiling water and jumped away.  She was in a
kitchen.

"This wasn't in the recipe!"  Another Tengu stood by the pot, wearing a
chef's hat and armed with a spoon.

"Yes, yes!  I'll kiss her!"

"Ataru!"  Skuld ran down the metal corridor towards his voice.  Why would
Ataru want to kiss a Tengu?  "They've used some sort of mind-control ray
on you!"  Ataru was lustful enough already, with alien mind-control on top
of that, Father  alone could tell what would happen.

Three Tengu were pulling Ataru away from an open life-support pod, but
they were losing ground against his size and determination.  His face was
twisted into a lustful grin, as usual.

"Ataru, don't!"  Skuld pushed him away from the pod, but by Newton's laws,
the reaction pushed her towards it.  She wound up with her arms braced
against the sides of the pod and her lips pressed against those of the
woman inside, a dark haired beauty, who seemed to be perfectly human,
aside from small wings growing from the back of her head.

"Ummm..."  The woman reached up and grabbed Skuld.  With her greater
strength she pulled Skuld into the pod, then stopped as their breasts
touched.  "What!"  Her eyes snapped open and she threw Skuld back, into
Ataru's arms.

"Princess Kurama!"  The Tengu shouted in unison.

"What is the meaning of this!"  The princess sat up in her pod.  Her black
halter top had a five centimeter gap in the front and the laces that
crossed over the gap did nothing to disguise her ample cleavage.

"Uh, sorry about that."  Skuld could sense the princess's intense
self-loathing as her anger focused on Skuld.

"Divine wind!"  The princess waved a large leaf in Skuld and Ataru's
direction and they were blown out the open door on the top of the shell
shaped spaceship.

Skuld pushed Ataru out of the super gale-force wind and he landed in some
trees.  She could tell that he got some scratches on the way down, but was
basically unharmed.

She then considered her own situation, she was several kilometers above
the mountain.  She projected her path forwards and could sense very little
water that way.  "No problem, I'll just..."

Skuld mentally checked her hyperspace inventory.  "I don't have anything
to fly with.  I'm going to go splat!  Oneesama!"

Skuld stopped tumbling and turned around into the direction of her
flight.  "OK, don't panic.  The wind has died out and I'm on ballistic
path.  Now, the only real problem with that is that I'm going to hit the
ground real hard."

Skuld watched her hair whip back in the relative wind.  "If only I had a
parachute or something...  The inverse-square law!  I'm such a genius!"

Skuld wiggled her foot and her right climbing boot disappeared into
hyperspace, but her sock remained.  She took off her sock and summoned her
boot back.

Closing her eyes Skuld concentrated.  She shrunk down to a decimeter in
size and her clothing followed to match, except for the sock now held in
both hands that waved behind her.

"Alright!  I did it!  My mass went down by the cube of my height, but my
surface area was only reduced by the square and combined with my sock I've
got plenty of wind resistance.  Now, where can I land?"  Skuld strained to
see anything in the darkness.

"That looks like a clearing."  She bent her knees to take the shock on
landing, as she had read in Ataru's adventure Manga.  She regained her
full height as she got to her feet.

"Water is ... that way."  Skuld ran to a small stream and formed a vortex.
"Take me to Ataru."

She found Ataru walking back towards the spaceship.  "Give it up Ataru."

Ataru walked around Skuld.  "No way, she's waiting for me in there.  She
needs me."

"Shinobu, if you'd please."

"Ha!  You're not tricking me like that."

A slender, delicate and powerful hand came down on Ataru's shoulder.

"Er, I guess we're going to back to camp, right Shinobu?"

Shinobu nodded.

On the way back, Skuld used her telepathy to find the students scattered
over the mountain.

"Here's the last one."  Skuld pointed at Chibi.

"How did you find everybody?"  Kumiko asked.

"Oh, I've just have good hearing.  It runs in the family.  I'm surprised
the rest of you didn't hear him, the way he was blundering around like
that."

The next morning in camp, the gang of four(1) jumped Ataru.  "You kissed a
Tengu princess?"  "What, did she have a face like this?"  They pulled
Ataru's face into a passible snout.

Skuld sat back against a tree and let him get his comeuppance.  She was
just glad that nobody had asked her what had happened.  They simply
assumed that she had gotten lost too, but as a goddess she couldn't have
lied.

"Who has a face like that?"  A great wind blew the gang away as Kurama
landed, followed by half a dozen Tengu.  "As the one who awakened me with
a kiss, we must perform the mating ritual."

Skuld swallowed audibly at this, but the alien princess was pointing at
Ataru.

"Aye Kurama!"  Ataru ran towards her with his arms spread wide.

Kurama gestured with her leaf and Ataru was flung back.  "But first I must
fix your awful lechery."

"What are you doing here?"  Onsen-Mark marched up to take control of the
situation.

"And what are you?"

"I am this fool's teacher."  Onsen-Mark pointed at Ataru.

Ataru had taken advantage of the distraction to grab hold of Kurama's leg
just above her boot.  "The mating ritual!  The mating ritual!"

"So you are the man responsible for this rotten character!"

"Lady, he was rotten long before I ever saw him."

"From now on, I am your teacher.  We shall fix this terrible nature of
yours so that the next generation of Kurasutengu may be raised to be
proper and upstanding.  And your first lesson will be to GET OFF!"  Kurama
stamped her foot, but Ataru was too tightly attached.

Kurama spun around at Skuld's giggles.

"And what do you want, pervert girl?"

"Nothing.  If you can make Ataru a decent person, more power to you.  And
I'm not a pervert, that was an accident and his fault."

"What was an accident?"  Kumiko asked.

"Ataru!"  Shinobu bounced her lunch bucket off of Ataru's head.

"Ow!"  Ataru released his grip to rub at his head.  "What did you do that
for?"

"What are you doing with this woman?"

Kurama looked at Shinobu with her shoulder length hair and wide eyes.
"Fascinating, you not only associate with perverts, but with
Zashikiwarashi(2) as well?"

"What did you call me?"

Skuld was almost sure that she had seen fangs in Shinobu's grimace, but it
must have been a trick of the light.  The level of anger was similar, but
Shinobu wasn't anything like...  Best not to think of it.

"Shinobu wait!"  Skuld grabbed Shinobu's arm.  "If it works, Ataru will no
longer be a danger and my mission will be accomplished."

Shinobu shook off Skuld's hand.  "If she remakes him, she'll own him
forever.  That may be OK with you, but not me."

"But I don't want him forever."  Kurama held her Control Leaf forwards, in
a guard position.  "One night should suffice."

"Yes, one night of pleasure!"  Ataru ran forwards.

Kurama completed her motion and he was swept back in the wind.  "But
first, you must be made suitable.  Come, we shall purify your spirit."
She gathered the two of them up in a vortex.

"But, if you do that, it'll only make his lechery worse!"  Skuld looked
after the departing tornado.

"So, now you see the problem!"  Shinobu crossed her arms.

Later that day, the class gathered for a picnic in a meadow next to a
waterfall.

"Aren't you going to do something about that Shinobu?"  Kumiko asked.

"About what?"  Shinobu pointedly looked away from the waterfall.

"Brrr..."  Ataru sat under the waterfall.  "This is so cold my balls are
turning blue, and look it's lunchtime.  Can't we do this later?"

"No."  Princess Kurama stood downstream from him.  "We shall take however
long it takes to purify your spirit."

A vortex formed in the stream behind Kurama and Skuld popped out, hammer
at the ready.

Kurama spun and swept Skuld into the trees with her wind power.  "A vortex
is such a noisy way to travel.  Don't you agree pervert?  Eeeek that's
cold!"

"Kurama-chan!"  Ataru had taken advantage of the princess's distraction to
run up behind her and grab at her breasts through the laces on her top.

Kurama pummelled him away and then stood short of breath.  "If water will
not cleanse your spirit we shall attempt fire!"

That evening, the students waited for the next event to begin.

"Spectators stay behind the line please."  The Tengu kept the students
away from a four meter long trench filled with hot coals.

"Now walk to me."  Kurama stood at one end of the trench.

Ataru stood at the other end and started to edge around the side of the
trench, but Kurama held her Control Leaf up threateningly.

"What'll I walk on after I burn my feet off?"

"Focus your mind and you shall injure nothing."

Ataru put one foot out over the coals then yanked it back.  "It's too hot.
Can't we let it cool down a bit first?"

"The heat protects you dummy!"  Skuld stepped over the line and walked the
length of the trench.

Kurama backed away as Skuld approached.

Skuld pretended not to notice Kurama's expression of disgust.  "You see
the superheat creates a layer of steam from the sweat on the bottom of
your feet that protects you from the infrared radiation. --- Ow! Ow! Ow!"
Skuld skipped down to the stream.

Shinobu went down to the stream.  "What happened Skuld?"

Skuld sat on a rock on the bank as she soaked her feet.  "I forgot that as
a goddess I don't sweat much.  Ow!"

"Are you going to be OK?"

"Sure, just let me use a minor healing spell."  Skuld tucked her feet up
in a lotus position and a white glow flowed over them as she chanted in a
language older than man.  "Now, let's see what Ataru's up to."

Shinobu helped support Skuld, who was still stepped cautiously on her sore
feet.

Ataru was still standing at his end of the trench.  He looked down on the
coals then up to Kurama.

"Focus!"  She glared at him impassively.

One of the Tengu reached up with a stick and gently undid the princess's
laces.

She looked down when she felt an unexpected chill, quickly pulled her top
up with both arms then looked up into Ataru's eyes, centimeters from her
own.

"See, I focused my mind!"  Ataru had indeed crossed the trench in a blink
of an eye.

"You focused something much lower than that!"  She slapped him then pulled
up her top again, while the gang of four stood drooling behind the line,
except for Megane, who had managed to snap a picture.

Kurama turned away to retie her laces and noticed Skuld rolling around on
the ground laughing.  "What do you find so amusing, pervert?"

"A-ha-ha-ha Ataru makes s-such a fool of you.  I can't stand it!"

"Come!"  Kurama commanded the Tengu.  "We are leaving this planet."

"But princess!"  They complained.

"But nothing.  I cannot stand it anymore."  She flew off and they
reluctantly followed.

"Kurama-chan!"  Ataru dropped to his knees, tears in his eyes.

"She means so much to you?"  Shinobu slapped Ataru.  "Alright then, our
relationship is over!"

Kumiko was waiting at the schoolgate on Monday morning as Skuld, Ataru
and Shinobu arrived, carrying their bookbags.  Shinobu still wasn't
talking to Ataru.

"Good morning."  Kumiko greeted them.  "Skuld, how do you do the things
you do?"

"She's my goddess."  Ataru put his free arm around Skuld's shoulders.

"Ataru!"  She shrugged him off.

"A real goddess?  You can tell the future and everything?  What kind of
man will I marry?"  Stars sparkled in Kumiko's eyes as she grabbed at
Skuld's hand.

"Everybody thinks goddesses have the power of prophecy.  Like I could gaze
into a crystal ball and tell you that somebody's about to fall to their
death in the schoolyard or something."  Skuld swept her hand across the
sky as she sketched out her scenario.

At that moment, a large aircraft passed overhead and a figure jumped out
of it.  He deployed a parachute with a strange symbol on it, but the chute
tore and he hurtled to land on his back in the schoolyard with a loud
thud.

"He looks hurt!"  Shinobu rushed forwards and knelt before the prone
figure.  "Are you OK?"

"It... it is nothing... Nothing that your smile cannot cure.  Could you
please be brave and smile for me?"  He feebly held up his hand and Shinobu
grabbed it.

Shinobu blinked back her tears and gave a faint smile.

"Thanks, I'm all better now."  The boy in the white suit disengaged his
parachute harness and sprang to his feet then helped Shinobu stand.

"Mendo."  Skuld waved to him.  "What are you doing here?"

"Ah, my goddess!"  Mendo shoved Shinobu rudely aside and knelt to kiss the
back of Skuld's hand.  "How you honor this poor realm with your grace."

"Oh, you silly."

"I've been waiting so long to see you again."  The boy named trouble(3)
looked desperately up into her eyes.

"Is there some problem with the patents?"  She held his hand in both of
her own.

"No, I could never find fault with anything from your hand."  Mendo stood,
still holding Skuld's hands.

"So this is the source of your funds Skuld?"  Ataru walked up and glared
at the handsome boy in the white suit with slicked back hair, except for
one stray lock, just like Skuld's, if on a smaller scale.

"Yes."  Skuld turned her head to look at Ataru and knelt to pick up her
bookbag again.  "When Mendo offered me ten times what I had calculated the
value of the inventions to be I had to go back and make sure I hadn't
leaked anything from the list of things that man was not meant to
know."(4) She turned back to Mendo.  "No problems with the patent office I
hope?"

Mendo put his right hand to the back of his neck.  "Well, we haven't
submitted them yet.  We don't have any products that use them yet and we
don't want to give too much of a lead to our cross-licencing partners."

"Oh, I see."  Skuld looked down.

"Hey you, don't bother my goddess!"

"And who might you be?"  Mendo looked at Ataru.

"Shutaro Mendo, meet Ataru Moroboshi."  Skuld indicated the two boys.
"He's my current client."

"Client?"  All the blood seemed to rush from Shutaro's face.

"Yes, he's got a little problem I'm helping him with."

When they entered the class every girl, except Skuld, crowded around
Shutaro and asked him about his fall, the conglomerate his family owned,
what sort of girls he liked.  He seemed to bask in the attention, but his
gaze would always shift towards Skuld.

Kumiko broke away from the crowd and walked up to Skuld.  "Skuld, which
girl will Mendo marry?"

"How would she know that?"  Momoe asked.

"Skuld is a goddess!"  Kumiko turned back to Skuld.  "Please, tell us!"

"I told you I don't know the future, anymore than I know if the top card
on that deck is the four of spades!"  Skuld stood and pointed at the card
game the gang of four was playing.

Megane flipped the card over and it was the four of spades.

"Cheater!" Chibi hissed at him.

"Tell us!  Tell us!  Tell us!"  The girls all crowded around Skuld.

"OK everybody, I'm a goddess, but I can't tell the future!"  Skuld forced
her way to the front of the class.  "And I can prove it!"  She pointed at
Ataru.  "If I could have told that I would have come within a billion
parsecs of this idiot, don't you think I would have done ANYTHING to
prevent it?"  She crossed her arms.

"Oh."  "Right."  "Yeah, there is that."  The girls all went back to crowd
around Shutaro.

"Hey!"  Ataru objected, as Skuld regained her seat.

"If I may have everybody's attention."  Megane walked to the front of the
class.  "Today is the day we elect class officers.  First is the class
president.  Any nominations?"

Shutaro walked up to the front of the class.  "As the heir to the Mendo
clan, I am clearly the best qualified, besides I have considerable
experience in commanding bodies of men and managing finical transactions.
I nominate myself."

"I second that nomination!"  Kumiko shouted.  "Me too!"  "And me!"  All of
the girls in the class followed, except for Skuld and Shinobu.

"Any other nominations?"  Megane asked.

Shinobu slowly walked up to the front of the class.

"Surely there is no need."  Shutaro said as she passed him.

Shinobu turned and addressed the class.  "I nominate Ataru..."

"That idiot?  What chance does he have?"

"Same to you Perm!"  Ataru replied.

Shinobu continued. "...because he might grow into the job and Skuld might
like him better."

Every other human girl in the class looked at Shutaro looking at Skuld.
Skuld looked down at her desk.

The votes were counted.  Every human girl voted for Ataru, every boy
except Ataru voted for Shutaro.

"Twenty three to twenty three.  It looks like a tie Mendo."  Ataru looked
away from the blackboard.

"Kumiko, won't you vote for me?"  Shutaro asked her.

"Will you date me if I do?"

Every human girl in class looked hungrily at Shutaro before he answered.
"No, I cannot trade favors for political ends."

"So Mendo, do you want to flip a coin or something?"  Ataru asked him.

"Wait, there is one student who hasn't voted yet!  Skuld, surely you will
support me?"  Shutaro walked to her desk.

"I'm sorry Mendo."  Skuld looked up.  "But, Shinobu might be right.  Maybe
the responsibility will be good for Ataru.  I vote for Ataru."

Ataru swung the chalk against the blackboard.  "Twenty four to twenty
three.  I win."

"I lost to this idiot?"  Shutaro stood stunned.

"There is another post, equally important!"  Ataru announced.  "While the
class president is expected to show initiative, there is a post that
requires trust.  I can think of no student in this class more trustworthy
for the post of treasurer than Shutaro Mendo.  Any other other
nominations?"

The class remained silent.

"All in favor?"  Ataru asked.

"Aye!"  Every student sounded as Shutaro stood stunned again.

"Any in opposition?"

Again silence reigned.

"The ayes have it."

Shutaro walked to the front of the class.  "I'm touched.  I shan't fail
this trust you've placed in me."

As Shutaro regained his seat, behind Skuld, next to Shinobu, Ataru
whispered to him.  "I hope you'll make up any shortfall we may have."

"Never!"  Shutaro responded.  "It would be a violation of my oath to leave
the class in any student's debt."

------------------------------
Notes:

    1) Gang of four pattern.  It's trivial to match Lum's guard to B-ko's
spies, harder to match them against the inner Sailors.  (Megane with
Mercury?)

    2) Household guardian spirits that Shinobu resembles.

    3) One of the meanings of Mendo is trouble.

    4) Be afraid, be very afraid.

	Henry J. Cobb	hcobb@slip.net          http://www.io.com/~hcobb
    next time: "Royal Blood." (A little bit of Heaven breaks out.)