Here's some comments I have about the story. The following is regarding the
characterization of some of the characters, mostly Kasumi:

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This story takes place immediately after Ranma fights Cologne on the beach
                                                                     ^^^^^
Beach? Its a winter resort with skiing and outdoor baths and stuff, not a beach
:P

When it seemed like Ranma won, using Neko-Shampoo to trigger the legendary
Cat-Fu Technique, something went wrong, forcing everyone to revaluate their
                  ^^^^^^^^^
How about actually writing this scene out in a flashback or something?

She moved over to Ranma.  "Ranma?  You have to  start school again Monday.
We need to get you some new clothes."

New clothes? Why? Ranma wears his red silk shirt and black pants when he goes
to school as a guy, so why not a girl? :P

Kasumi's face showed anger for a brief moment.  It was enough to send chills
through Genma's spine.  Kasumi spoke quietly and forcefully, "Has he not

Kasumi being angry? She's always struck me as the kind of person who remains
calm no matter what the circumstances...

>from the chair and left the room.  He was about to enter his and Ranma's room

when he noticed the sign written in Kasumi's elegant hand writing:
            "This room is off limits!"

It wasn't explained why Kasumi is forcing Genma to stay away from Ranma. It is
true that he didn't help in the past few days, but he didn't make it harder on
Ranma either (except maybe by staying away).

"First, the three of us are going shopping tomorrow,  You'll need clothes for
school and everyday wear.  What you have on is fine for practice and just
lounging around home.  But you need things more appropriate to your
condition.

"Second, you'll have to get a new room.  I think it would be best if you
moved into Akane's room.  There are a number of reasons why I think this
should be done.  One, Akane can help you adjust to your new self.  I'll help,
of course, but Akane will be with you nearly all day.  That makes sharing her
room more practical."

As I read through this fic, it seems like Kasumi is forcing Ranma to dress,
live, etc. like a girl, even though it is by no means necessary. When Ranma was
cursed (in the anime series) but not stuck in female form, he did still wear
his normal clothes even when being in his girl form for long periods of time.
He is very reluctant to wear girls clothing because as he puts it "I'm a guy".
Nabiki had a hard time getting him to wear Akane's clothes that one time when
all his own clothes were in the wash and he was in female form and they didn't
want to waste money heating up the hot water kettle. Even though he is
permanently stuck in female form now, I don't see how his personality would
shift to female (and the curse has never affected the way its victims think).
Simply living in the body of the opposite sex does not make a person have/want
to act like their sex (this is just IMHO)...look at the example of transsexuals
for example. Many live through their childhood/adolescent years in a body of a
sex opposite to that of their mind, but that doesn't change their mental sex.

Why does Ranma have to get a new room (as Kasumi put it)? Its not like he
hasn't slept in the guest room with his father while being a girl.

Kasumi smiled.  "Not anymore.  At least, not physically.  Until we can find a
way to cure you, you are a girl.  All I ask is that you dress like one.  I
also ask that you refrain from any activities that are not appropriate to
your gender.  You'll have to wear your girls uniform and gym clothes at
school.  You'll also have to wear girls clothes in public and around guests.
Your outward appearance must be that of a girl.

Uhh....this is starting to sound more and more like forced feminization...
Let's go back to the Ranma 1/2 series for a moment here. Specifically, when
Nodoka was visiting the Tendos and Ranma was posing as "Ranko Tendo". True, she
did try to get him to dress/act more feminine, but it was nowhere near as
extreme as Kasumi is doing now. And just what activities does Ranma usually do
that are not appropriate for a girl (other than going in the men's bathroom?
:P) "Your outward appearance must be that of a girl." Hrm....if I didn't know
better I'd say Kasumi has finally flipped. *grin*

Ranma looked at Kasumi grimly, "How long do I have before I have to accept
any of this?"

With a heavy sigh, Kasumi spoke, "The sooner the better.  But that's only
for the dressing and public behavior.  As for accepting BEING a girl, that
all depends on if a cure can be found.  I'm not trying to hurt you or give
up on you.  I want to help.  This is the best I can do.  I'm sorry, Ranma,
truly I am."

The best she can do? I don't think so. Kasumi is making Ranma change his whole
lifestyle, just because he is stuck as a girl now. And she's not just making
him act as a girl, she's making him act like a GIRL girl...I mean many girls
(including Nabiki) wear pants lots of the time, so why is Kasumi making Ranma
buy all these dresses, etc.?

"I guess I have no choice.  About being a girl, that is.  And yes, I need a
friend.  You two have helped a lot these last few months.  Still, why do
Akane and I need to share a room?"

Kasumi smiled, "Well, you both need to learn to change clothes in front of
each other.  This'll help you change in the locker room at school.  Then
there's the dressing habits and routines you'll have to learn.  You'll need
to learn some fashion and make-up tips.

Fashion? Make-up? Is Kasumi trying to get Ranma hitched to another guy? :P As
for dressing habits/routines...its not hard enough to learn to justify Ranma
having to share a room with Akane, IMHO.

Kasumi thought for a moment.  "Have you experienced anything unusual this
last month?"

"Other than being dressed by you or Akane, no."

Hrm? Ranma's not a baby. He can put on his own clothes. :P

"Kasumi!" growled Akane.

"We're going to have to deal with 'it' sometime.  She has to know.  After
all, it may be months before she's cured."

Hrm, there's an interesting question. If Ranma remained in female form long
enough, would she menstruate? Has this ever been determined in the series or is
it open for interpretation, anyone know?

"Could you tell me now?  If it's related to me, I need to know."

"You'll know, Ranma.  If you were a true girl, I could tell you without a
problem.  Being a half boy, I don't know how to explain it to you.  Please
give me a couple of days to think of a way."

Bah, Kasumi's just embarrassed to talk about it :P

Ranma frowned.  She felt it was serious and had to be dealt with immediately.
She also trusted Kasumi's judgment, especially since she was the family nurse
and next best thing to a mother.  Ranma nodded, maybe she could get answers

>from Akane.

Trusted Kasumi's judgement? Uh-oh. That just makes it easier for Kasumi to
manipulate Ranma into becoming not only female in body, but now female in mind
too. That doesn't look like her intention but she's doing a very good job of
it.

Space was being made in some of the drawers.  Ranma had very little need for
the drawer space, but Kasumi said it was important to start with.

At this point I feel I should say this: It looks like Kasumi is taking HER view
of what a girl should be (a somewhat old-fashioned view...) and forcing it on
Ranma.

up her hand.  "The final rule is that, aside from her dress and occasional
and necessary manner changes, Ranma is to be treated as she always has been:
a boy.

Now she admits Ranma is a boy. But as Major Kira once said, one should be
judged not by what they think, or what they say...but what they do. Though
Kasumi says Ranma is a boy, she's making him into a girl.

"We all have to make adjustments to her new condition.  We'll probably have
to make certain, other, adjustments as time goes on.  But, for now, this is
the best we can do.  Nabiki, do we have enough money to purchase clothes and
other items for Ranma?"

Now Kasumi's wasting money too. :)

Nabiki thought for a moment.  "If we spread them out over a couple of months,
yes.  I'd suggest she and Akane share as much as they can.  I have a few
things I no longer wear that might fit Ranma.  You might, too.  I'll work on
the budget after dinner."

It is a bit strange, that Nabiki is not protesting to the cost of all these
clothes etc., especially when they are by no means necessary.

Ranma stood in front of the mirror.  Kasumi held a modest dress in front of
her.  Akane sat on the bench, watching the two women pick out clothes.  She
noted Ranma's apprehension, but couldn't be angry at it.  Ranma still needed
coaxing, but seemed to be cooperating easier.

Ranma seems to be going along with this too easily. Then again, after what has
happened to her in the recent days she might not be feeling strongly enough
about anything to complain... (all the more easy for Kasumi to manipulate her)

Just compare it with when Nabiki was trying to get Ranma into a dress.

"Because I see a girl.  A terrified, confused, little girl.  Ranma, the
person, is a boy through and through.  We have to help her mature.  It'll be
the only way for her to survive."

Only way for her to survive? Looks like Kasumi's old-fashioned type view point
again.

They entered the room, finding Ranma naked and on her knees, crying.  Akane
choked.  Ranma's eyes held despair.  Akane took a towel and wrapped Ranma in
it.  She then took her back to their room.

...I don't think Kasumi's helping much...

Nabiki stopped.  She looked at her older sister.  She saw the tears run down
Kasumi's cheek.  It was then that it hit her.  "You've accepted that Ranma's
going to be like this forever.  No wonder he was upset."

"I should have been more careful.  I had this planned.  Make the transition
slow and easy.  Just enough pressure she...he would be comfortable, but not
enough to cause him...her pain.  I don't know what to do anymore."

Good, looks like Kasumi might be easing off on Ranma for a while. Especially
since she seems to be pushing him in a direction based on what SHE thinks, and
not what Ranma thinks.

"You listen to me, Saotome Ranma.  My sister's been trying to help you, and
you made her cry.  If you can't appreciate that, then you'd better leave.
Because if you EVER make her cry again, I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE HELL!  Do you
understand me?"

Ack! Nothing worse than a pissed-off Nabiki, who was pissed off for all the
wrong reasons.

bathroom.  Kasumi had recovered and was finishing up.  "That heartless
ingrate!  I hope Akane gives him what he deserves," she muttered as she
helped Kasumi put things away.

I don't think Ranma is heartless any more than Kasumi is mindless. Sorry
couldn't resist :)

"I'm not either.  Our best bet is to avoid Kunou and the other boys.  We'll
have to work on the girls, but they've been understanding."

"Only after beating me within an inch of my life."

When did the girls beat Ranma within an inch of his life? I didn't see any such
scene in this fic. If its supposed to have happened, write it :)

The principal looked at the two students a moment.  "Are you prepared to
participate in class as a girl, Ranma?"

"Yes.  There is a class that boys take that I'm signed up for.  Do I go ahead
and take it?"

"I think we can make an exception for you, this time.  The rest of your
student career will have to be as a girl, though."

I thought Tatewaki Kuno's father was the principal? The guy who talks with the
weird Hawaiiyan accents and laces his words with English speech?

Is the Japanese school system that gender-segregated? I.e. some classes that
only boys can take, some that only girls can take?

"The one that will unlock my curse was destroyed.  The one that will cure me
of my curse is currently out of reach."

"How is it out of your reach?"

"It's in China, somewhere.  I don't have the money to look for it."

Can't Ranma swim to China to go to Jushenkyo, if its that important to him? It
wouldn't cost him anything, just like the first time he went there.

"I usually worry, about this time, anyway, about Kunou, Ryoga, Kodachi, or
Shampoo."  Ranma shuddered, but continued, "Now, I'm worried about getting
through the day.  Kyoko, you've shown me I still don't belong.  That hurt, a
lot.  It hurt more than the idea of me remaining this way forever."

With that, Ranma began to laugh.  At first it started as a chuckle.  It
quickly grew into a near maniacal laugh.  Akane froze in fear.  Kyoko and
Atsuki were stunned.  The rest of the class stared, unable to comprehend the
situation.

Uh-oh. This is starting to get to Ranma it looks like.

"So we should probably include Ranma in more of our activities," commented
Akane as she looked out the window.

Kasumi nodded.

"Won't that change him into her?  That's something he doesn't want.  I don't
think we want that either," commented Nabiki.

"I don't know.  If we're careful, Ranma will remain the boy we know.  If we
make the wrong move, we'll lose him to a new person.  A person who'll
probably hate us.  At the moment, Ranma's greatest need is not going to be

Good, Kasumi's finally understanding that Ranma is a guy and plans to stay that
way.

"I don't know.  My heart leapt when she said she'd marry me, even if it was a
matter of honor.  We've shared a lot this last week.  Even if she were cured,
I think she'd still marry me.  The strange thing is, it no longer matters to
me which she is."

"I don't believe it!" exclaimed Nabiki.

"Well, didn't you once suggest interesting combinations and that we'd never
be bored?" replied Akane evenly.

Nabiki blushed.

"To set the record straight, Nabiki, I prefer the male Ranma.  I just don't
know yet what to do if he can't return.  I love him.  I want him to be happy.
Like she said, though, we haven't discussed anything and she's in no
condition to marry me."

If you do write a Ranma/Akane lemon later on, it would be interesting to do it
before Ranma gets his male form back. :) :) It doesn't matter IMHO if Ranma is
stuck permanently as a girl, but he shouldn't be forced to act like one, like
Kasumi was doing.

---

Anyway in summary, I think Kasumi is a bit too forceful for her character in
this fiction, even with the circumstances. Ranma is going along with her
attempt to feminize him too easily. Nabiki threatening Ranma just because he
made Kasumi cry (and it looked like it was Kasumi's fault), especially as
strongly as she did might have seemed a bit overdoing it...

Also it would be nice if some of the missing scenes were added, or at least
explained in more detail. Specifically the scene where the Phoenix pill was
destroyed, and the one where the Furinkan high girls beat Ranma within an inch
of his life (it isn't clear at all why and when they did that; the only
indication that this scene ever happened was when Ranma mentioned it).

Where was Ukyou during all of this? She wasn't mentioned once in all these
chapters. She should be trying to comfort Ranma, being the good friend (and
best cooking/looking/cutest/kindest fiancee he has :). 

A brief scene with Kodachi might be nice also.

If you do decide to revise these chapters please consider what I have said
above.

For future chapters, how about including some scenes from Genma and/or Soun's
point of view? Maybe Genma really IS looking for a cure, by swimming to China
to try to get Nannichuan? He DOES care about Ranma after all, it would be
plausible that he is trying to help Ranma by looking for a cure, even given
Genma's irresponsible personality...then again maybe he is just hiding and
hoping the whole thing will blow over.

Another interesting point is this, regarding the cat-toungue. This was never
explained in the anime. My logical reasoning is this: To feel that the water is
too hot, Ranma has to touch it. But if he has touched it, wouldn't he have
changed back already? Anyone have a logical explanation for why Ranma did not
change back even when he jumped into the tub of hot water (and promptly
screamed in pain from the heat)?

I wonder if Ranma will try to exact revenge on Cologne, by beating her into a
bloody pulp. That would be an interesting scene to see (er, read). :)