At 11:13 AM 4/09/97 PDT, Soren Smith wrote:

If you can resolve this in two more chapters, more power to ya.  
Personally, I've enjoyed it so much I would be willing to read ten....

No, I don't have the willpower to put myself through 10 chapters, and I
don't think the story has that sort of impetus anyway. And I'm not going
to be writing any sequels to it either, so 4 is the max. Might still only
be 3 chapters, I'm deciding now on just how big I want chapter 3 to be.

One thing, though--I think you've mishandled Kasumi just a touch.  Yes, 
I know she's an airhead, but she is usually a compassionate one--enough 
so that I find it stretching the point to have left an injured Genma in 
the middle of the sidewalk.  She's not *that* ditzy.

Oh well. I've always seen a bit of a cruel streak in Kasumi. David 
mentioned the cats. I always remember the flashback where she was admonishing
Akane for acting like a tomboy and that Tofu wouldn't like her if he
continued. 

Of course, the main reason for the scene was for the humour value. I sometimes
stretch logic/OOC for humour. And there really needed to be a laugh in that
area of the story, with the few scenes around it.

(OTOH, maybe she 
realized the scum deserved to lie there, bleeding into the gutter, 
slowly getting weaker as the darkness encroached--Damn, this story makes 
me hate Genma more and more each chapter....)

Poor, poor Genma. Trying to do the best for his son, and look at the 
responses he gets. :P

--Freemage

************  
Mark Doherty  -  mdoherty@mailbox.uq.edu.au
The Weekly FFML Synopses Lists are at:
http://www.uq.edu.au/~zzhdoher

My fanfics will be back on the web sooner or later.

"Kawaii must die."