Okay, this is my offerring to the wish pool.  Hopefully, it is not spit
back out into my face.

PM Productions Presents
A Phillip Masters Fanfic
Most Desired

     Ranma had finally made it.  He had battled through monster and
fiancee alike.  Not to mention his arch rivals and that nasty hornet
nest.  The last had left him with one butt cheek larger than the other.
     He reached forward to grasp the object he had been searching for
these last couple of months.  Here in this deep dark cave in the
backwaters of Japan, he'd found it at last.  One of the most powerful
objects in the world today.
     It was small and silver, almost like a hundred yen coin, um,
without the hole.  It shone with an intense gleam that belied the level
of light in the cavern.  It was the Wishin' Coin, aptly named by some
locals who worshipped it like a god.  Now, it was Ranma's, to do with as
he pleased.
     God help us.
     He held it up and invoked it with the village chant.  "Come on you
blasted thing!  Work!!"  Followed by pounding it against the wall.
     A bright light flowed forth from the coin, blinding Ranma.  He held
on to it tight though, for fear of losing his wish.  You only get one,
according to legend.
     Then, the light flickered away, leaving a more dull piece of metal
behind.  Ranma looked over it for a moment, trying to figure out what
was going on.  After a while he started to think he may have been given
the shaft.
     Yet, now he truly understood the village chant.  Right before he
tried the Saotome 'Who needs a tool kit when you have your foot'
technique, a person tapped him on the shoulder.
     Needless to say, the veteran martial artist was scared so bad he
nearly gave a demonstration of why silk is not good diaper material.
     "AAAAAAHHHHH!!!"  Ranma exclaimed (obviously).  
     "AAAAAAHHHHH!!!"  The person also exclaimed.
     "AAAAAAHHHHH!!!"  Ranma continued to exclaim.
     This went on for all of two minutes before the person, a middle
aged buisiness man, stopped yelling and calmed Ranma down.  "Hush boy!
What in God's name are you tryin to do to me?!"  He cried.
     Ranma looked the man up and down.  He didn't seem the type that
could sneak up on him.  Hell, he didn't seem the type that could sneak
up on Mikado after he found a mirror.  "Who are you?"  
     The man looked even more annoyed.  "You don't know!?"
     "Of course I don't know!"  Ranma yelled.  "Why in the heck would I
know?!"
     "Because you summoned me you piece of..."
     "Oh!  You're the spirit who will grant my wish!?"  His voice
started to sound hopefull, he had searched forever.  Finally, his wish
would come true.
     The man sighed.  "Yes, I have that particular pleasure today.  Lost
a bet with Joe."
     "Who?"
     "Spirit stuff, you wouldn't understand."
     "Oh."
     "Come on, what do you want?"
     "Take off my cu..."
     The man threw up his hands.  "No!  Not the curse!  Anything but
that!"
     Ranma recoiled a bit at the outburst.  "Why!?"
     "You don't have any idea what kind of paperwork is required.  If
you did, let me tell you, you would not want to grant it either."
     "Paperwork?"
     "Of course!  What do you think?  Do you think I just wave my hand
and *poof*!?"
     "Uh, yea."
     "Well, no!  There are all sorts of forms that must be filled out
and signed.  All sorts of legal channels must be gone through.  All
sorts of verifications and authorizations...."
     "Uh," Ranma interupted, "how long will this take?"
     "Hmm?  Oh, uh, about five minutes.  That is, if you keep it simple.
The curse thing could take ten years or so."
     "Boy, I didn't realize it was so complicated!"  Ranma was not sure
if he was impressed or disgusted.  Sounded like Nabiki would love the
afterlife.
     "Yea, yea, whatever.  Will you please make your wish?  I have a
five o' clock."
     "Allright.  Um, could you solve my fiancee problem?"
     "Oi!!"  The man looked up to the heavens, "Why can't I get the
world conquering meglomaniacs?!"  He looked back at Ranma, who was
starting to back away, slowly.  "Look kid.  If a thousand fanfic authors
can't do it realistically, what in the hell am I supposed to do?!"
     Ranma had no clue what the man meant, but he was sure it boiled
down to 'no, try again'.  "Okay!  I have it then!  I know what I want!
I want everyone to be happy!  Everyone, and I mean it!  I wish everyone
would be happy, forever!"
     The man smiled.  "Yes, happiness, that is more general and easier
to do.  Right away!"  He pulled a pen and a form out of thin air, filled
it out with hammy flourish, and it vanished again.  "Done!"
     Four minutes later, the wish was granted.

{Fanfic discontinued because author is now someplace else, much happier.
Still, C&C would be most appreciated, and would make him even more
pleased.  Thank you.}    

"I'm only holding back the rain.  So many raindrops, so many pains.  I
want to find my train someday.  As seasons go past the station." - Tokyo
Babylon OVA 1
/ My anime fanfiction page:
http://www.iwaynet.net/~dr.diddy/masters
/ E-mail at:  PhilMasters@webtv.net
Member of the #AAS#, #WASHU#, and the #SAS#.  I'm a very appreciative
person!