opinions on it.(I've never written a DBZ story before)

Me, I've never read a DBZ story before so we're almost in the same boat...

Thank you for reading mine.=-)

Examinations:  Chichi

      Chichi was sitting in a psychiatrist's office.  Sure, the doctor
had tried to make it comfortable. The chair she was in was quite

Sure, the doctor had made her comfortable.....what? Aren't ya gonna add more to
that. The 'sure' part seems to scream out for a rebuttal. Sure...it was
comfortable, but.....

The 'sure, but...' part is that she really doesn't want to be there and
that makes her uncomfortable.

comfortable and there was a table with an unfinished puzzle, a rubix
cube, a deck of cards and various other assorted toys, but she was still
in a psychiatrist's office.  And she did not want to be there.

I've never been to a shrink before...although I should at sometimes, but is that
real? Do they really have assorted toys lying about for the clients to play
with, as a way of showin' their inner personality....

Actually, I have no idea...I've never been to a psychiatrists's office. 
I just thought it was a good idea and I wanted Chichi to have something
to do istead of just stair at her hands.

I don't know much about the DBZ universe...but when does this take place? Did he
die AGAIN in the anime....

Doh!  I suppose I shouldn't let myself post past 2:00am any more...I
forgot to post the disclaimer.  This takes place after the Cell Game. 
At the end, Goku decides to stay dead.

      "Ms. Briefs also told me that you instruct your son in his
studies."

Is she a character you created or part of the series?

Actually, that's Bulma...her father's name is Dr. Briefs, so I figured
that was her last name.

      "He can train, but his studies come first."  She continued going
through the cards, now and then moving some through the pile.

Typical reply coming from a mother :)

      "Why do you want him to become a scholar?"

      Chichi stopped going through the cards and sat still for a few
moments.  Then, she looked up.  There was a glistening in her eyes.  "I
want him to study, become a scholar, and give his wife a nice stable and
orderly life.  I don't ever want _his_ wife to go through what I've gone
through.  I want him to stay with her and be there to raise his children
and not take them away from her.  Is it wrong to want your son to grow
up and be a good man?" She wiped her eyes with the tips of her fingers.

This is a good way of showing the resentment she has toward Goku and him never
being home. It shows the more human aspect to her. Good job :)

Thanks.^_^

      "Mrs. Son..."

      Chichi stood up and set the cards down.  "I think I'll go now.
I've taken up enough of your time."

      The doctor furrowed his brow and then nodded.  "Of course Mrs.
Son. Just one more question... Was his father a good man?"

      "His father was a great man.  Sometimes I wish he hadn't been so
great."

Man, this gave me the chills for some reason....I guess Goku really is too much
of a good guy....

      He stood up and led her to the door.  Closing it after her exit, he
walked back to the table and looked down at the perfectly ordered deck
of cards.

Man, I really liked the way ya ended that. I was a really nice touch. I would
have liked it more if it was the rubix cube thoug :)
I liked the story, it was simple and sweet. A bit short, but a story all in
itself. I don't see how or why you would want to conitnue this. This is good as
it is. It flowed quite nicely and the questions the shrink askes is very
realistic. I'm pretty sure those are the exact same questions they would ask if
one of their clients was acting the way Chichi was actin'. I'm sorry that I
don't know enough about the DBZ universe to be able to totally analyze your
story, but this is as well a C&C as I can make it. The story itself was easy to
follow and not one bit confusing. I don't thinkthere were mistakes...but if
there were, I wouldn't be able to point 'em out cause I could care less about
grammar and spellin' mistakes. Anyway, nice story...I would say keep up the good
work, but I don't think I read any of you other works ;)

Thank's for your C&C. I really appriciate it.^_^

I wasn't thinking of continuing the story with Chichi.  My idea was that
after the Cell Game, Bulma sees that every one is stressed out.  So, she
makes them go to the psychiatrist.  I'm only going to do this if I
really get a good idea though.

ThanX!

Sariah DeGidio
Ore wa onna da!
ddegidio@ix.netcom.com