At 02:51 AM 7/19/97 EDT, Miyaka Yuuki wrote:

<mdlerma2@gsbpop.uchicago.edu> writes:

First impression -

 This story was well written with good description where needed but
without becoming bogged down in detail.  The only real criticism I 
have of it is that it is not a fanfiction.  Only minor modification would be
required to turn this into a standalone story.  It uses the names from
Ranma, but that is about the only connection to anime that the story
possesses.   It does not use any plot device or character feature that 
is distinctly of the Ranmaverse.   If you want it to be a Ranma story, 
then I suggest that you revise it to be more closely connected to the 
Ranmaverse.

I didn't see this post for some strange reason so I'll respond here. Firstly
thank you for responding to this story, I appreciate it.

Okay onto the criticism. If I put "typical" characteristics into the story
then it would defeat the way in which I told the story. I didn't want to
give definite clues as to *who* the character with the baby was. I even
started to mislead people.  If I'd used say typical characteristics for
Nabiki then the reader probably would have guessed early on in the story and
IMO that would have spoiled the ending.

I don't necessarily agree.  Just because something doesn't utilize what
we see as strictly Ranmaverse characteristics doesn't keep it from being
a fanfiction.  It's just a different kind of fanfic, to me.  And one that
I consider well-written as well.  :)  It shows us a different side of
Nabiki and Ranma, and they wouldn't necessarily react the same way as
usual after such a thing happened.  I know very few girls who would stay
exactly the same after a rape, and unfortunately, I've had that put to
the test.  

You said it much better then I did.  I understand what the first person was
trying to say. However to accomplish this by typical character molds would
spoil, at least to me, the plot device and the ending. Allow me to give you
an example suppose I changed Nabiki to do what she usually does, what
effects would it have on the plot?  She's unlikely to be hiding out where
she is, and if we carry it to one extrem might not even have the child. In
both cases the ending would be moot. Or Ranma, I personally feel that even
though Ranma might be dense at times he recognizes that he might just scare
Nabiki.  If he did his usual approach Nabiki would likely go back into
hiding and he would feel guilty about that... Oh that just gave me an idea.

I think the author had a sound look, if a little too short for my taste. 
I would have rather seen much more of the angst, etc, that went into this
story.  But that's just me.

I will expand this, it will likely take me a few days though. I have a
couple of other projects on the go...

Doug
Rakura Sakuya's Accountant
http://log.on.ca/users/helm/anime/index.htm
http://log.on.ca/users/helm/sako/sakohome.htm

Sailor Bean : "For puttin' me in this RIDICULOUS SAILOR SUIT
	      - ya sick little monkey - I *WILL* PUNISH YOU!"