David Johnston Wrote :

But then isn't the whole point of the story that nobody knows what
might be going behind Nabiki's facade?

That was the original point, given that it wasn't firstly written for Nabiki
though I might have required a little more...

Then...

Keener wrote:

<Snip a story about a girl and a knife, NOT a very sweet combination but
often a sobbering one>

I've scene Akane, Ranma and a couple of the "crazy" ones commit suicide but
I've never scene Nabiki do it before... 

	Good Points: I've always held that someone waving around a weapon and
screaming about ending it all are looking to you for help, just remove
the danger so they don't accidentally off themselves while crying for
attention. Someone who is calm and strangely reflective, almost at peace
is the one you REALLY have to watch out for. They are not looking for
your help anymore as they have found the solution most of us search so
desperatly for. 
	
	You've succesfully portrayed this most dangerous state of Suicide,
without contempt or patronization. I commend you. Been there or just
know alot about pain?

To answer your question let me say that you've struck one of them on the
head. I was not as err.... cold as Nabiki about it but close enough that if
I extended it out more it would fit almost perfectly.  Suicide used to be a
considered a crime. Something to be punished by locking you in jail. Now
it's recognized as it is.

	Suggestions: I'd say go one of three ways with this fic. One, go for
the tradgey of the situation and let the pain seep deeper into your
audience's heart (better for the long haul). This can be done with more
detail about who and what was going on. An interesting bit would have a
situation viewed from the person commiting sucide. Have them interperate
the situation wrongly and those around them unable or unknowing enough
to set the character straight. Then the suicide becomes like an
unstoppable frieght train that the reader simply CAN'T stop no matter
who they try.

An interesting path, given my orignal intent though I think I'll shelve that
one and save it for later.

	Two, a twist (better for a short story) Here, more clues are given
about the nature of the situation but only enough to mislead the reader.
Then when the name is acctually read, the whole horror of the event is
doubled, or if the audience has come to accept what is about to happen
and suddenly, thier saftey blacket is torn from beneath them. Something
like the diary bemoaning "He doesn't love me!" and then having it be
about Kasumi and Tofu instead of Akane and Ranma.

	Three, whatever you can come up with. It'd would be a shame to waste
such potential!

Thank you, well I'll certainly consider it. It would be a challange to see
if I can broaden the scope of this fic more without losing my original
purpose...

	Shameless Plug: Too bad Nabiki didn't know all the "Uses of the Knife!"

^_-

Doug
Rakura Sakuya's Accountant
http://log.on.ca/users/helm/anime/index.htm
http://log.on.ca/users/helm/sako/sakohome.htm

Sailor Bean : "For puttin' me in this RIDICULOUS SAILOR SUIT
	      - ya sick little monkey - I *WILL* PUNISH YOU!"