Hi, Toshiro-san!  I have to say that the writing in this story is very well
done indeed (actually I've only seen this RECENTLY RELEASED part), can you
sent me the first two parts. 

BUT, there is this ONE thing that bugs me about this series . . . WHY DID
YOU TURN COLOGNE AGAINST MOUSSE?!?!?!?!

Even though Cologne did told Mousse off about marrying Shampoo in Manga 5,
she had NEVER INTERFERED with Mousse's pursue of her Great-granddaughter.  In 
Manga 27(the magic glasses chapter), she SAID IT WAS A GOOD THING FOR
Shampoo to date Mousse!   I AM TIRED OF SEEING WRITERS BLAME MOUSSE'S
FAILURE IN WOOING SHAMPOO ON THE OLD AMAZON!!!!!!!  It was SHAMPOO who
reject Mousse, not her Hiba-chan!!

Besides, she DIDN'T HATE Mousse!!  She had helped in SAVING Mousse VARIOUS
times, like when that Japanese deity tried bewitch Mousse (manga 33), when
she thought Mousse was under attack from Shampoo's Amazonian techiques
(manga 34) and some other times that I can't remember just yet.

Besides, Cologne cared for Shampoo all through the manga and the anime
episodes (so many instances that I lost count).  She would NEVER try to
break them up if Shampoo geniues loves Mousse, like you said in the manga.

One more thing, COLOGNE IS NOT the POWER-MAD villain that YOU SET HER UP TO
BE!!!  If she is, then she would have made Shampoo MARRY HERB OR SAFFRON IF
SHE REALLY WANTS TO STRENGTHEN THE VILLAGE.

I know I seem to be quite harsh in my criticism of your fic, but only
because IT WAS SO GOOD, and I wouldn't want you to spoil it by making these
common mistakes that MOST WRITERS make of COLOGNE.

                                                                Adrian Wong