Back, back in the ancient days, when the great FFML suffered a crisis
unprecedented, when the supreme White Wolf was forced to move to greener, or
at least, more stable pastures, there came a time when the denizens of the
FFML sought a temporary home.
And one day, in that temporary home, James Nutley and Hitomi Ichinohei began
a thread that took an alternative future to SKJAM's fanfic, "No Fair", and
crossed it with a well-known comic series: Calvin and Hobbes.
And then Richard Beaubien and I asked if we could join in the fun. And the
idea grew.
And then, for no explicable reason, it stopped.
That said, I haven't seen much of Hitomi lately. That could be the reason.
Anyway, for those people who missed it (because they were on the other list,
etc, etc.) here's my contributions. Of course, to understand it all, you'll
need to know the basic plotline of "No Fair", and you might want to check
out Hitomi's homepage (I forget the address) for the initial premise.
=======================================================
Weekday X:
_______________
Frame One:
(Hobbes watches with interest as Calvin investigates inside his cardboard
box)
Hobbes: "What are you doing?"
Calvin: "None of the other kids have the genius to make a
Transmogrifier. I suspect espionage!"
_______________
Frame Two:
(Hobbes nods sagely as Calvin climbs inside and out of sight)
Hobbes: "Ah, the piglet thing."
Calvin: "Well yeah, I mean of course she'd choose a piglet. Ugh!
Why couldn't it have been something cool, like an elephant,
or a worm, or a T-rex?"
_______________
Frame Three:
(Calvin continues his search as Hobbes ponders something)
Hobbes: "She sure seems to like you as that pig."
Calvin: "Yeah, just what I need. Another slimy girl."
_______________
Frame Four:
(Calvin pokes his head out from under the box)
Calvin: "Maybe I should have sent off for the patent earlier."
Hobbes: "Somehow, I don't think a patent would cover water-based
transmogrification in this case."
_______________
Weekday X + 1....
_______________
Frame One:
(Ranma-chan looks confused when Calvin presents his case, dragging Hobbes
along. Susie, standing nearby, just adopts her "seen it all before, so why
do I have to see it again" look)
Calvin: "Okay, how'd you do it?"
Ranma-chan: "Do what? Do you know what I did, Chiyoko?"
_______________
Frame Two:
(Still in similar poses....)
Calvin: "You blatantly stole my Transmogrifier design, and found
someway of putting it in water!"
Ranma-chan: "Transmogri-what?"
_______________
Frame Three:
(Calvin continues to spout his wrath, while Ranma-chan directs her attention
elsewhere. Susie replies without expression)
Calvin: "Well, you're in trouble now! I'm going to sue you for
copyright infringement!"
Ranma-chan: "Susie, d'ya know anything about what Chibi-Pig-Boy's talking
about?"
Susie: "I try not to."
_______________
Weekday X + 2....
_______________
Frame One:
(Ranma-chan finally decides to stand her ground)
Ranma-chan: "Look, I don't know anything about your stupid
Transmogriwhatever!"
Calvin: "Hah! So that's how! Changing the name to evade the
copyright laws! Well, we'll see about that!"
_______________
Frame Two:
(Calvin storms off, Hobbes in hand. Ranma-chan just looks more confused
than ever)
Calvin: "C'mon, Hobbes. We've got work to do."
_______________
Frame Three:
(Ranma-chan turns back to Susie, a questioning look on her face. Susie
still looks deadpan)
Ranma-chan: "Is he always like this?"
Susie: "Wait until he really starts trying."
_______________
=======================================================
Weekday X + 3....
_______________
Frame One:
(Calvin's on the phone, a determined expression on his face)
Calvin: "Patent Office? Yeah, I'd like to patent an invention of
mine."
_______________
Frame Two:
(Similar pose)
Calvin: "It's a Transmogrifier. Yeah, it transforms people into
other kinds of stuff. I'd explain it, but it gets a bit
technical."
_______________
Frame Three:
(Calvin's expression turns to one of indignation)
Calvin: "Of course I'm the same kid who called up last week about
the Duplicator! Just what are you insinuating?!"
_______________
Frame Four:
(Calvin walks into his bedroom, in a sulk. Hobbes looks up from where he's
reading one of Calvin's comics)
Hobbes: "How'd it go?"
Calvin: "The world has no respect for up-and-coming genius."
_______________
Weekday X + 4....
_______________
Frame One:
(Up in Calvin's bedroom, Hobbes and Calvin are discussing their battle plan.
Or rather, their lack of it)
Calvin: "Ok, so maybe we can't sue Ranma-chan for copyright
infringement."
Hobbes: "Perhaps we should just give up?"
_______________
Frame Two:
(Calvin dashes into his closet)
Calvin: "Never! Things may look bleak for us...."
_______________
Frame Three:
(...and out he comes, sporting a suit, cape and mask)
Calvin: "....But things are never bleak for Tuxedo Calvin!"
Hobbes: "You know, if your mom ever finds out the real reason why
you're getting up so early...."
_______________
Frame Four:
(Calvin looks moody again as he replies to Hobbes next question)
Hobbes: "By the way, what happened to Stupendous Man?"
Calvin: "Mom confiscated my costume.... again."
_______________
=======================================================
Weekday X + ?....
_______________
Frame One:
(Calvin's playing outside with Hobbes, when Susie comes up, looking really,
really shocked)
Susie: "Calvin? I'd like to take back everything I've ever said
about you."
_______________
Frame Two:
(Susie looks wide-eyed, vacant, and really shell-shocked. And Calvin's a
little shocked at what Susie's saying as well)
Susie: "You are not the weirdest person I have ever met. I will
no longer account your sadistic behaivour to snowmen, or
your strange eating habits, to a brain abnormality at birth."
_______________
Frame Three:
(Susie walks off, looking out of it. Calvin watches her go, not knowing
what to say)
Susie: "You're the most normal person I know."
_______________
Frame Four:
(Calvin looks off in the direction Susie went, looking slightly startled.
A damp Ranma-chan stands behind him, looking a little embarrassed)
Calvin: "What's up with her?"
Ranma-chan: "Well, we were having a tea party, and I had a little
accident...."
_______________
Terence Fergusson
-- Student of Advanced Murphodynamics
-- Stranded in an Anime-free College