The Eternal Lost Lurker (squn29a@prodigy.com)

Well, here it goes...

OMAKE! 

A shortfic collection by the Eternal Lost Lurker

Disclaimers: Apologies to anyone possessing rights to the characters 
used below, and any and all seiyuu mentioned in this fanfiction.

(Opening one: an SD anime Hayashibara Megumi runs across the screen, 
dragging behind her a banner reading "ICHIBAN: Just Another Day At 
The Office")

 (Scene: A soundstage in Tokyo. A door slams open, and a frazzled-
looking woman rushes into the room and plops down in front of a 
microphone. She begins to leaf through an overstuffed folder, pulling 
out scripts and music sheets and the like.)

  Woman: Oh shit...which one, which one? (frustrated scream) I CAN'T 
REMEMBER WHICH ONE!

  Director: (From offscreen) Alright, we're ready to record. (Three 
other voice actors take their seats.) Hayashibara-san? You're 
starting us off today. And...begin.

  Megumi: Aa..hai! (picks up a script and begins reading) Umm...
"Sheesh, stupid tomboy..."

  Director: CUT! (the other actors are staring at Megumi) Hayashibara-
san, what was that?

  Megumi: (nervous laugh) Ah, sorry about that. I picked up the wrong 
script. Let's try that again. (grabs a different script)

  Director: Okay...ready? Begin.

  Megumi: (reading script) Papa-san! Ryu-san!

  Director: CUT! 

  Megumi: (sweatdrop) Ah...wrong one again?

  Director: Quite.

  Megumi: Ah...sorry. (picks up another script) Okay, ready.

  Director: Begin.

  Megumi: (begins reading a Hello Kitty script)

  Director: CUT!

  Megumi: (reads a Blue Seed script)

  Director: CUT!

  Megumi: (reads a Slayers script)

  Director: CUT!

  Megumi: (reads a Tenchi script)

  Director: AAAGGGHH!!!! CUT! CUT CUT CUT CUT 
CUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!!!!!!!!!

  Megumi: (exasperated) Well what the HELL am I SUPPOSED TO BE 
READING?

  Director: You're reading for a Sailor Moon OAV.

  Megumi: (blink) Anou...I'm not IN any Sailor Moon OAV...

  (collective facefault)

  (fade to black)

  (Opening two: An SD-Ryouga pokes a mountain with one finger. It 
blows apart, and a giant boulder falls on him, squashing him. On the 
side of the boulder are the words NIBAN: Ryouga on Travel)

  (Open on Ryouga walking down a sidewalk, with a blue river in the 
background.)

  Ryouga: Where on earth am I now? I'd better ask for directions. (He 
walks up to a man wearing a beret.)

  Man: (In French) <What do you want, scruffy foreigner? I'm very 
busy being important.>

  Ryouga: (In Japanese) Umm..sorry, I don't understand you...could 
you please speak Japanese?

  Man: <Stop babbling in your idiot tongue. Speak French, damn you!

  Ryouga: Tendou dojo wa doko da?

  Man: Merde!

  Ryouga: Nani? Wakarinai...

  Man: Le ferme... (spits on Ryouga's shoes, and stalks away.)

  Ryouga: Kono yarou... (resumes his journey.)

  (Fade to black)

  (Opening three: Hello Kitty, Ranma-chan, Momiji, Lina Inverse, Nuku 
Nuku, Achika, etc. etc. gather around a sign which reads "SANBAN: A 
Song For you")

  (Listen to any song by Hayashibara Megumi, imagine her voice in 
chorus)

  (Fade to black)

  OSHIMAI! 

(Author's notes: I think I need professional help...)  

____

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"If it looks like a duck, and walks like a duck, and quacks like a 
duck...pour hot water on it."
Ryodachi Kouma
"The Eternal Lost Lurker"
squn29a@prodigy.com
http://pages.prodigy.com/EtLostLurker