Dimension 6
Part 4

TOM: I guess not.

Michelle Ramos

CROW: May she rot in hell.
MIKE: Crow!

    It was sensational. A tunnel of colors, patterns, and lights was all
around

TOM: Bishouen Senshi Timothy Leary!
[Crow and Mike begin to hum Moonlight Denetsu]

them. There was no gravity what so ever. 

MIKE: They finally found the massless universe, eh?

							Just a pulling feeling and a
super-fast trip dipping and curving. Finally, a black hole that seemed to
end the tunnel appeared, which sucked everyone in.

CROW: It's the Negaverse's NAFTA attack!

    A portal opened in the Secondary Operations Unit of Dome City II. Seven

TOM: And we care because?

figures leaped through, six landed hard, the other flipped and landed on her
feet. 

MIKE: Which ones?  You be the judge.

	Valerie looked around the room to see everything in order except for
the gaping hole in the wall and the guy unconscious on the floor. Wait a
minute, the guy unconscious on the floor?! 

CROW: Probably Michelle's dad.  Well, she *did* warn him away from the computer.
TOM: Brought it on himself.
CROW: Yup.

							She ran over to him. He was
face-down so she flipped him over and wasn't all that surprised to see Eddie.

TOM: Hi, I'm Eddie, and I'm sure you'll get a kick out of whatever programs you care to run through me!

    "Eddie. Wake up... Hellooo?" She slapped him hard

MIKE: Likes it rough, does he?

									 but he still didn't wake
up. "Just great." She stood up and created a large bubble with her hands.

CROW: Mercury Bubbles...BLAST!

"Life Bubble Engulf. Shield Extend."

TOM: <Valerie> Okay, Life Bubble Move Piano Upstairs.  And then, Life Bubble Clean the Bathroom.

						 The bubble surrounded Eddie, and
Valerie created a green shield around him. Task completed.

CROW: Whatever the hell it was.

										 "He's in
protective stasis. He should be fine by the time we're back for him." The

MIKE: Just leave him in there for 20 minutes at 450 degrees.  He should turn out great.

others just nodded while still recovering from their happy little fall.

TOM: And while preparing for a happy little MURDER!

    The Sailor Scouts and Darien followed her to a nearby console. There were
flashing lights and beeping noises coming from it. 

CROW: It was all, like cool and stuff.

								She punched some buttons
into the high-tech computer and studied the screen. It was just like
something out of Star Trek. Valerie got a worried look on her face.

MIKE: Given that last line, that's understandable.

    "What is it?" Tux wanted to know.

MIKE: Understandable?  An adjective, meaning "capable of being comprehended."  Why?

    "Dammit. My brother and my friends are in trouble.

CROW: Next time, in "Big Trouble in Little Juuban!"

									 We're all going to have
to split up in order to rescue their behinds. If we don't, we're all
doomed." the princess replied.

TOM: And if we do, we'll have a lovely collection of behinds.

    "Well, then how do we do that?" Lita asked.
    "Hmm. Everyone's gonna go to their respective avatar.

CROW: What if they're atheists?

										 A team like that is
always better. Should be good enough. Plus, power transfer is immediate."

CROW: At the speed of business.

    "Power transfer?" Mina and Amy asked in unision.

TOM: Did they rehearse that?

    "If one of you has to give a little or a lot of power to one of them.

MIKE: Um, pardon me, but there are two things shouldn't be left unclosed.  HTML tags and clauses.

Sailor power and life energy. It saves lives."

TOM: This is Vanessa, reminding you that Sailors save lives.  Get your genuine Sailor today.

								 The princess looked at the
console and began typing. "Okay, I found safe transport points at all of my
friends' locations. I'm going to transport you to them."

CROW: Now I'm going to talk stiffly.  Then I will make a stupid joke.

    She ordered the computer to send a message to her friends, 

MIKE: Aw, they're probably using Hotmail anyway.

											briefing them
on
the current situation. Next the repli-com created six com badges for them.

TOM: No, no, no...

They were small yellow triangles. Each put one a few inches below the left
shoulder.

CROW: Okay, now that we've got a Star Trek crossover, who's the redshirt?
TOM: If there's any justice, the author is.

    "Darien, you get to be first," Valerie informed.
    "Oh joy," he said flatly.

MIKE: FINALLY!  Someone with sense!

    "You're transporting to my brother, Prince Wesley. As soon as you get
there

ALL: Kill him!

transform and hopefully he's still strong enough to boost your power."

CROW: Probably not, though.

Darien nodded. Val pressed a button and he transported away.

TOM: Into vacuum.

    "Venus, you're next. Same procedure. Her name is Princess Amanda. Got it?"

CROW: Last name: Hugginkis.

    "Got it." She pushed another button and Mina faded in a flash of gold
light.

MIKE: Hey, ST transporters have blue light!
CROW: Mike, we've got enough Sailor Moon inaccuracies to riff without checking for Star Trek faux pas.

    "Jupiter, you're turn."

TOM: No, she's Jupiter.

    "Joy of joys."

ALL: And Lord of Lords!

    "Yeah, well, Princess Vanessa is probably injured. You better work fast."

CROW: Yeah, Jupiter's expert food skills will really come in handy with an injured person.

    "Gotcha." In a flash of green, Lita vanished.
    "Mercury, it looks like a lady just like you is borrowing your powers
today. She's Rianna, but she ain't a princess. Okay?"

MIKE: <Vanessa> Take her down.

    "Sure." Blue light, Amy was gone.

TOM: I get the idea that the author is losing enthusiam for the project.

    "Okay, Serena, you're last. Nobody uses your powers,

TOM: <Vanessa> They suck.  You suck, and your powers suck.  Now get out of here!

										 so your being sent to
Janella, a special telepath. I don't exactly know what's happening to her
right now. Expect anything. Are you ready?"

CROW: ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?!?
MIKE: Jeez, don't shout like that!

    "As ready as I'll ever be. Let's do it." In a beautiful flash of white
light, Serena transported away.

TO: To hell.

    "Mars, that leaves you and me."

ALL: Bwomp-chicka-bwomp-bwomp-chicka...

						 A loud explosion rumbled from a few
corridors away. "You better transform now, we haven't much time!"

CROW: And why didn't she transform before?

    "Right. Mars Star Power!" Raye had begun her thing

TOM: That Thing You Do.  Starring Tom Hanks.

									 as rings wrapped around
her. Midway through the transformation, Valerie raised a glowing red fist. 

MIKE: That's gotta hurt.
CROW: Is it the Fist of Islam?

    "Leodon Star Boost!" Her fist went down from up high and became level with

TOM: Her other fist.

the girl. A thick, firey beam of energy shot out and Raye felt the extra
power flow freely through her.

CROW: And fry her neurons.

                        *     *     *     *     *

CROW: See, there are the sparks.

    Meanwhile, Darien materialized in the air above the huge, battle-stricken
city.

MIKE: And plummetted to his death.

		 He took out a rose and turned into, Prince Darien! Not what he
expected, but he was definitely stronger.

TOM: <dreamy> And really buff!
<Mike and Crow look at Tom strangely>

							 All of a sudden he heard a blast,
and a voice came out from behind. He turned and saw another floating man.

MIKE: Pretty common around here, actually.

    "Prince Darien, I presume," said the young man.

CROW: Call me Stanley.

									 'Whoa, I expected somebody
older, not a seventeen year old!' Darien thought. "Let's hurry. I'll give
you your boost."

TOM: Come on, man, I gotta have my boost!

    "Uh, okay."

CROW: First one's free!

    "Float still. Leodon Star Boost!" Just as his sister would do in the next
minute, the tall boy with sandy colored hair gave a power boost to Darien, a
black colored streak shooting from his hand.

MIKE: Yeah, thanks for giving us a description there.  Really appreciate it.

                   *     *     *     *     *
    At about the same time, Lita found herself in what appeared to be a cargo
hold.

CROW: But was actually the Astrodome!

	 There were boxes and crates everywhere.

CROW: I guess it really was a cargo hold.

								 Lita looked around a second,

MIKE: Then looked back for a few more seconds.  Then she went back to looking at the first thing for an hour or two.

until she saw a monster with its back turned to her, standing over an older
girl.

TOM: Mike, I'm serious here.  If this turns into a tentacle rape scene, I want you to throw me out the airlock.
MIKE: Only if I don't throw myself out first.

		 He obviously didn't notice Lita since he was occupied with the
unconscious girl on the floor.

CROW: Get the door handle ready, Mike.

					 Lita decided to give it a little surprise.
    She whispered, "Jupiter Star Power."

MIKE: So, at the one point where shouting would give her the surprise she needed, she whispers?

							 No power boost here, and Lita would
desperately need it.
                   *     *     *     *     *
    In the Primary Operations Center, or Ops, Mina saw the devastating ruins
of

TOM: Western Civilization.
CROW: I knew twelve years of a Democratic presidency was a bad idea...

a once good conditioned computer center. Then she saw it.

MIKE: A good conditioned computer center?  You want to check your modifiers?

									 It was tall, green
and ugly. No need for details.

CROW: Er, actually there is a need for details.  You're the author.  It's your JOB!
MIKE: Tenchi Muyo OVA #75: No Need for Details.

    Behind it and trapped in a corner, though, was an older girl in the same
Venus costume as the real Sailor Venus.

TOM: As opposed to the old Sailor Venus costume which we all know and love.

						 They immediately saw each other and
Mina shouted her transformation words. Before the monster could stop her, a
crescent beam hit its back distracting it enough to let her finish. The
thing advanced towards Princess Amanda.

MIKE: Free ramchip to whoever can parse that last paragraph.
TOM: Sorry.
CROW: No dice, Mike.

    "Venus Love Chain! Encircle!!" As the golden chain held the bio, Princess
Amanda initiated the boost.

CROW: Boosterspice?  Is this a Ringworld crossover too?
TOM: Well, if it is, I call dibs on Teela!
CROW: Hey!

    The girl had to kick her foe out of the way. "Venus Star Boost!" she
yelled
as the energy made the real Sailor Venus and her chain strong.  

MIKE: That which does not kick or yell makes us stronger.

                         *     *     *     *     *
    Amy arrived in the forest of another planet. 

MIKE: Unfortunately, it was a forest on Pluto, and she died needlessly in the vacuum.
CROW: Boooo!

									It was filled with tall,
weird

TOM: Straws.  Don't ask why.

looking trees and a foggy mist she recognized. Immediately, she transformed.
"Mercury Star Power!"
    "Mercury Star Boost!" A blue, water-like wave of energy hit Amy and filled

MIKE: Her nostrils, drowning her.
TOM: Mike, are you the only person in the world who doesn't like Sailor Mercury?
MIKE: Yes.

her up with a power boost. The change completed, Mercury looked around for

MIKE: Booze.
CROW: Nelson, you're walking a fine line.

the source of the blast. Out emerged a medium sized woman with dark hair and
eyes, wearing the Sailor Mercury suit.

CROW: So what's Sailor Mercury wearing?

    "I am Rianna. You are Mercury?" she questioned.

TOM: Questioned?

    "Yes. So you're my avatar for the day?"

CROW: Hi, I'm Rianna, and I'll be your avatar today.  Today we have a special on...

    She nodded. "Indeed. Thank you for...Ahhg!"

MIKE: Actually, I try to avoid Ahhging in public.  It's certainly not something to be thanked for.

								 A slimy, pink tongue grabbed
her waist and pulled her up into the trees. 

TOM: Is that a tentacle?
MIKE: Not quite.  But close.

    "Rianna!" Mercury cried. The thick leaves hid whatever had grabbed her.
She
heard the roar of some unknown animal. She watched as Rianna fell to the
ground with a thud, covered in purple punctures and wounds. And after her

CROW: You sure you don't want to start that sentence with a 'she?'

came the most hideous thing in the world, the hugest most repulsive snake
with two ugly heads.

TOM: It was really gross n' stuff!
MIKE: Oh come on, everyone knows the most hideous thing in the world is Chibi-Usa on a sugar high.
CROW: You mean Chibi-Usa.
MIKE: Poind conceded.

                   *     *     *     *     *
    Serena transported into the front courtyard of the palace. There were many

MIKE: Palaces like it, but this one was mine.

bodies lying around, but she couldn't tell if they were dead or alive.

TOM: If they're lucky, they're dead.

Instantly, there was a large flash

CROW: Oh, and I though it would be a slow flash.  Thanks for clearing that up.

						 of white light from around the side of
the palace. A tall woman with very blond hair and in a white uniform,

TOM: Nurse Angel Lolita!
MIKE & CROW: No.

												 fell
back from the side of the palace. Serena could see she was in battle due to
the bruises and gashes all over her.

CROW: There was the disturbing lack of an opponent, though.

    Then a huge monster walked slowly towards that lady from the side too.

TOM: Stage left or right?

'Strange,' Serena thought, 'that thing reminds me of what Greg turned into.'

MIKE: A gibbering wreck of a man?
CROW: Can it, this isn't Mizuno at Baltimore.

Before she could ponder any more of it, the bio started making a power ball.

TOM: And tonight's Powerball numbers are...
MIKE: We already did that one.
TOM: Oh.  Can I make a Dragonball Z ref?
MIKE: No.

Serena immediately shouted, "Moon Crystal Power!" She transformed into
Sailor Moon.

CROW: As opposed to say, Sailor Space Station Mir.
TOM: Or Sailor Muun.
CROW & MIKE: Huh?

    The girl and the monster both noticed this. 

MIKE: Good for them.

								The bio knew she could be
trouble. The girl knew she was a savior. Serena decided to skip the speech

TOM:  Hey!  No fair!

and get rid of the bio. "Moon Tiara Magic!" Her tiara magically flew toward
him, hitting him on target. "Moon Scepter Elimination!" 

CROW: Um, not that I like Sailormoon or anything, but shouldn't the tiara take care of the guy first?
TOM: Sailormoon?

									The light of good

MIKE: Went out.  Really should have paid the power bills, but while good always wins, it's also pretty damn stingy.
CROW: So what does this say about Nabiki?

glided to the bio, canceling out almost all of the evil energy he had. Almost. 

TOM: Thanks to the Law of Conservation of Evil(tm).

    She just needed one more shot and then it would be over.

TOM <announcer>: As things deteriorated, Sailor Moon turns to alcohol to solve her problems.
CROW: <same> This message brought to you by the Booze Council.  Booze: it's what's for dinner!

										 "Moon Scepter..."
Instantly, the monster regained its power and jumped high landing right
behind Sailor Moon. She didn't get to finish her words, 

CROW: Well, duh!  That's what the ellipsis was for!

									for he picked her up
by the neck and squeezed. 

MIKE: Tsukino Usagi!  She's squeezably soft!

                   *     *     *     *     *
    Meanwhile, Valerie and Mars had just finished off a weak bio. They were
now
riding a turbo-lift down beneath the surface of the asteroid. It took five
minutes before they came to a stop.

TOM: Now, either that's the slowest turbolift in the world, or that asteroid's pretty fscking big.

    "Requesting voice and print clearance," the computer's voice said.
    Valerie put her right hand on a little console shaped like a hand. The
computer began to scan it. "Valerie, slash, entry, core, alpha, four, beta,"
she expressed.

CROW: Expressed?
TOM: Forward or backward slash?
MIKE: <Valerie> Gosh, I hate Win95!
CROW: Don't you think Win95 jokes are getting a bit old?
MIKE: Oh no.  I find new things wrong with it every day.

    The computer made a confirming sound and said, "Code accepted. Entry

TOM: 034/0023.
MIKE: Tom, haven't I told you about going to Elf Sternberg's page?

granted." It opened the doors. Inside, Mars immediately saw a huge cylinder.

CROW: It's the Big Ass Keg From Hell!
<Mike and Tom make appropriate noises of amazement>
CROW: The BAKFH (tm).  Ask for it by name.

Inside of it, white matter and blue anti-matter flowed freely through. 

TOM: Hell of a brew.
MIKE: Any particular reason antimatter should be blue?

												Every
ten seconds the enormous cylinder would glow.

CROW: <in awe> It's seething with Booze Energy!

    Valerie looked around and seemed concerned. 'What happened to all the
officers? There should always be people here watching over the core!' she

MIKE: Yeah, you don't want to leave a keg like that unguarded.

thought. She walked around a bit. Nobody was here, no sign of life anywhere.

TOM: Many have tried to defeat the BAKFH(tm).  All have failed.

Val walked over to a console surrounding the core and checked for intruders,
trouble, an evacuation, anything. She found absolutely nothing.

CROW: Not a single glass.
MIKE: Just drink from the tap.

    Raye interrupted her thoughts. "What is that thing?"

MIKE: Nothing?  It's the absence of stuff.

    "Huh? Oh. That's our main power source for the city. It's called the
Core."

TOM: Which explains why the author has been referring to it as "the core" for the last few paragraphs.

    Suddenly, a bio materialized behind them and grabbed Valerie, throwing her
against a wall. That knocked her senseless.

ALL: Wooo!

							 Next, it grabbed Mars by the
throat and squeezed. Squeezed hard.      

MIKE: These guys rely too much on the squeeze offense.

     End Part 4. Hope you liked it! If you did tell me at

TOM: president@whitehouse.gov.
CROW: kooky@nuthouse.org.
MIKE: takeuchi@nakayoshi.rim.or.jp.
BOTS: What?

eoramos@ix.netcom.com! Please tell me, please! Apologies to the few that did

CROW: Read this story.  I'm truly sorry.

remember to write me, for I lost their letters in a hard drive sweep or
something. See ya!

TOM: Yeah, likely story.

Yo! Please E-mail me at <eoramos@ix.netcom.com>. Give me your comments and

TOM: Explosive devices.

suggestions. Somebody tell me what you guys think! I'm desperate! 

MIKE: Lady, we don't have enough breath to say *everything* we think about you.

Hey! Apologies to the very few people who might have dropped me a note about

CROW: <falsetto> The fascinating possibilities Death has to offer me.

D6. My dad changed hard drives and I never had the chance to see them. Sorry
about not writing you back to those who wrote until Part 3 came out.

Also, I've put another story idea out to give my name some variety.

TOM: She doesn't write one-dimensional crappy stories.  She writes well-rounded crappy stories.

												 And
hopefully some generous soul out there will like me.

MIKE: Not likely.

I hereby disclaim anything that doesn't rightfully belong to me. Character
and objects are trademarks, or whatevers, of Star Trek: TNG. So don't sue
me! Anything that is mine, is mine. Get it? Got it? Good.

TOM: And if we don't got it?
CROW: Cry.
TOM: I already did that.

Oh yeah, and all the doors inside the palace are those automatic ones that
open for you. Just so ya know it's like Star Trek.

CROW: Thanks a whole fscking lot, you-
MIKE: Easy, Crow, easy.

(continued)