Notes: I find that snatches of songs by the Police, and of course by Sting,
seem to be rather appropriate for Ranma 1/2, so my demented brain came up
with this.
        Forgiveness please.

        The scene is the Nekohanten. Night outside, and due to smoke and
lack of lights, it is only slightly brighter inside, except for one end of
the room which has been cleared away for a stage. Harsh spotlights
illuminate the trio of musicians there (who are currently playing), Stewart
Copeland, Sting, and Andy Summers, who were once collectively known as the
Police.

Sting: Do I have to tell a story
        Of a thousand rainy days since we first met
        It's a big enough umbrella
        But it's always me that ends up getting wet

(music fades)

Sting: And that was 'Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic', going out to
Akane from R-
(gets cut off by a screaming Azusa, who has decided the mike stand is her
beloved Picolette II)

Sting (looking to the side of the stage as Stewart and Andy wrestle the
stand away from Azusa): That's it. I don't care what you have on me, I
refuse to work under these conditions! I- I see. Very well then.

Sting (looking back at the audience with a weak smile and a very pale face):
        Alright, this one is a special request, and is being sent out to 
        Ninomiya Hinako and Ranma Saotome. We call this one 'Don't Stand So
Close To Me, Nerima Mix.'

(Then the music starts)

Young teacher, the subject
Of schoolboy fantasy
She wants ki so badly
Knows what she wants to be
Inside her there's raging
That boy's a delinquent
Punish him - she's so close now
That boy is not in class

Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me
Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me

His friends are so jealous
You know how bad boys get
Sometimes it's not so easy 
To be the teacher's target
Condemnation, frustration
So bad it makes her cry
A challenge, she's waiting
The schoolyard's a battlefield

Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me
Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me

Loose talk in the classroom
To hurt they try and try
Strong words in the staffroom
The accusations fly
It's no use, he beats her
She starts to grow younger
Just like she was cursed by
a spring in Jusenkyou

Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me
Don't stand, don't stand so 
Don't stand so close to me

Don't stand, don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me 
[Back:] (Please don't stand so close to me)

        (the song fades slowly)

(the crowd applauds)

Sting (after the clapping dies down some): And now for the final song of the 
        night, we have 'Wrapped Around Your Finger' for Nabiki- (Sting
glances         towards the side of the stage, where he seems to be getting
instructions) -make that Mistress Nabiki Tendo.

(while Sting is making the speech, the view shifts down a bit, whereupon the
cuffs and chains on his ankles become evident. Pan to Stewart Copeland
writing a 
message on some paper, which he stuffs into a bottle. Stweart furtively
glances around before throwing the bottle into the crowd. As it arcs through
the air, part of the message can be read through the tinted glass of the
bottle, and reads : S.O.S.)


        That's all folks. I tried to keep it fairly close to the original
lyrics, since the Hinako OAV (exact title escapes me for the moment) seems to 
mirror the original song (a distorted mirror, a VERY distorted mirror, but I
see the connection at least)

P.S. My GITS/BGC crossover (hey, remember me asking for a title for that a
while back?) has been put on the backburner for a while for a couple of
reasons (can't think of how to proceed, plus a multitude of rl worries and
snarls).

I can be reached at maybeso@ican.net

                                        Matthew Lewis
                            Dimmer switch on the track-lighting of truth
                            Lampshade on the desklamp of knowledge
                            Slowly erasing the line between tolerance and apathy