With all this talk about Tenchi Muyo/Satr Wars fusions I figured now would
be a good time to do some advanced advertising for my own Ranma/Star Wars
fusion. Co-authored by J. Austin Wilde(hey he does things dealing with
military stuff better than I do) this project is now coming up on the one
year mark. I think in July, right Jay? Anyways, as I am now finished yet
another year of school I have time to finish it. Look for it soon. And if
you want it soon mail me and prod the heck out of me. If enough people are
breathing down my neck I'll be more likely to finish it soon. Without
further ado, here are a couple of small teasers.
-=-
Ranma Wars:
Episode IV
[Ranma]: "A NEW DOPE!"
[Akane]: "Don't you mean hope?"
[Ranma]: "No I mean dope. Why the heck did they give
Ryouga the lead in this?"
[Akane] (Holding up a large stack of papers.):
"It was in his contract, 'one lead role per 5
P-P-P-Chan fics.'"
[Ranma] (Fuming, grabs the papers from Akane and scans them.):
"How the hell did he get that kinda clause?!? Those
writers are gonna get a piece of my mind..." (He storms off.)
[Akane] (Looking out at the audience, sweatdrop forming.):
"Well, enjoy the show." (She quickly ambles out of sight.)
Not so long ago, in a galaxy of our own devising......
It is a period of civil war.
Rebel spaceships, striking
from a hidden base, have won
their first victory against
the evil Galactic Hentpire.
During the battle, rebel
spies managed to steal secret
plans to the Hentpire's ultimate
weapon, the Breast Star,
(they also got away with a
load of the Hentperor's private
stash of panties. That ticked
him off to no end.) an armored
space station with enough power
to destroy an entire planet, and
it also just happens to look like
a large breast for no particular
reason other than it was the hentai
thing to do.
Pursued by the Hentpire's most
sinister agents, Princess Akane
races home aboard her starship,
custodian of the stolen plans that
can save her people and restore
freedom and females' underwear
to the galaxy...she also
managed to get her panties back...
-=-
Ryouga and Akane started back down the corridor with Gen-baka in
tow when a series of explosions ripped into the walkway ahead of them.
Apparently the cavalry had shown up earlier than anticipated. Ran
was hotfooting it back to join them.
"There's no way we're leavin' that way," he said as he pulled his
blaster and started firing down the corridor.
"No it looks like you've managed to block up our only way out,"
Akane said acidly. "I was wondering, didn't you know that Hentperial
prisons generally only have one exit? Or were you just born this
bright?"
Ran looked her over while trying to catch his breath. "Well
excuse me your worshipfulness. Perhaps you'd like to get back in
your cell?"
"There has got to be another way out of here," Ryouga interjected.
He pulled his comlink out and adjusted the frequency. "Shampoo?
Shampoo, do you copy?"
A familiar voice replied quickly. "Yes master Ryouga,
something wrong?"
"We've been cut off here, we can't get back to the lifts. Is
there any other way out of the detention centre." Suddenly a blaster
bolt zipped by his head and the comm was momentarily jammed with
static, preventing him from hearing Shampoo's reply. Ran and Gen-baka
continued their blasting, keeping the Hentperial troops bottled up at
the entrance to the walkway.
"Repeat that, I didn't copy!" Ryoga cried.
Back in the gantry office Mousse was quickly checking all the
displays and relaying info to his counterpart.
"Shampoo say, all systems know you here. Only way out of detention
block is through main lifts. All other information for level restricted."
Suddenly someone began to pound on the office door. "Open up in
there, open up in there."
Mousse quickly looked at Shampoo. "Oh no, my precious Shampoo."
The smoke in the corridor thickened making it almost impossible for
Ran and Gen-baka to get a good bead on a lightning trooper. However
said troopers could do no better. Occasionally one would attempt to
get closer and be cut down by the smugglers' expert shots.
"There's no other way out!" Ryouga yelled over the battle.
"Well they're closing in on us. Whata we do now?"
"This is some rescue," Akane snarled. Both men turned to see
Akane looking at them with a disgusted eye. "I assume you planned an
escape when you first came in."
"Never Assume," Ran replied. "You make an Ass outta U'n Me.
Besides, he's the brains, sweetheart." He stuck out his thumb indicating
Ryouga.
Ryouga shrugged his shoulders and gave a weak grin. He promptly
had his blaster torn away from him by Akane.
"Hey!"
Akane took aim at a grill on the side of the corridor and fired.
"What are you doing?" Ran asked perplexed.
"It looks like I'm going to have to save all of our skins," she
replied. "Into the garbage chute flyboy."
As the others looked on in stunned disbelief she dove through the
chute. Gen-baka was quick to follow, but as soon as he stuck his head
in, he pulled it out just as quick. <It smells like a bantha curled
up and died in there.>
"I don't care what it smells like, get in there."
Gen-baka didn't budge.
"Get in there, Pop."
With that Ran forcibly shoved his father into the chute. Ran
looked at Ryouga.
"After you."
Ryouga plunged down the chute.
Ran stayed where he was for a few more seconds firing down the
corridor. He was sure he wasn't going to hit anything, but at least
it kept the Hentperials thinking. Then he to dove in.
(SPLASH!)
**Oh no,** Ran thought. **Why? Why does it always have to be
water?**
He...uhm *she* looked down at herself. Yep, sure enough
Jyusenkyo once again worked its ways on her. Ran was now a big busted
redhead with oversized Lightning trooper armour on. This of course
did not go unnoticed by her companions. Ryouga and Akane just stared,
then they started laughing outright. Gen-baka simply holosigned <Oh
how could you do this to your father. You've disappointed me so.>
He was promptly smashed into a wall by Ran's fist. "And who's
fault do you think it is that I have this problem? Huh Pop?"
Akane caught hold of herself just long enough to realize something.
"Pop?" she asked incredulously as she stared at Gen-baka.
<Uhm...Hello.> he holosigned meekly.
Suddenly it hit her. "Jyusenkyo, right?" Ran just looked
sheepish and stared down at the mounds of junk surrounding her.
**Oh great,** she thought. **Now we're stuck in the station's
trash compactor.**
Akane started laughing again.
"Hey, it ain't funny." Ran was getting increasingly irritated.
"Well at least I ain't built like no brick, you uncute tomboy."
Akane stopped laughing and glared at him.
"What did you say?" she demanded
"You heard me, you're a kawaiikunee tomboy who got us stuck in
this mess."
"Me? You're the one who couldn't even plan a rescue."
"Hey, everything was going just fine until you got us stuck in here.
Yeah the garbage chute was a wonderful idea." She deliberately took in
a deep breath. "And what a wonderful smell you've discovered!"
As they argued, Ryouga and Gen-baka attempted to open the hatch
at the far end of the compactor. Ran noticed this. "Outta the way
Pop." She pulled her blaster.
"No wait don't--" Ryouga started as Ran fired. The blast started
to bounce around the room like crazy, and everybody had to dive for cover.
When the blast finally dissipated. Ryouga charged over to where Ran was
and picked her up by the now ill fitting uniform. "I already tried that,
you numbskull! The door's magnetically shielded. You could have killed
the princess."
Ran pulled herself free from Ryouga's grasp.
"Oh perish the thought," she replied in mock horror.
Akane was the next to her feet. "Put that thing away before you get
us all killed."
"Yes your worship," Ran replied smugly. She did not re-holster
her weapon though. "Well it won't take them long to figure out what
happened to us." She looked over at the princess. "Everything was going
fine until you led us down here."
"Sure it was," she replied, although was getting tired of this
particular argument. "It could be worse..."
As if in response a strange moaning filled the chamber. The group
just looked at each other.
"It's worse," Ran said.
Behind them out of sight an eyestalk emerged from the trash and took
stock of the situation before again disappearing. The group continued
to look around when something made Ryouga start.
"What is it kid?" Ran asked
"Something just moved past my leg," he replied, fear creeping into
his voice.
Suddenly Ryouga was grabbed by something that pulled him under.
It happened so quickly that no-one could stop it. Just as quickly he
resurfaced with a large tentacle wrapped around his neck
"Help him!" Akane screamed.
"Shoot it!" Ryouga yelled. "My blasters jammed."
"Where?" Ran yelled.
"Anywhere!"
Ran proceeded to fire her blaster into the tentacle careful not
to hit Ryouga. Just as it seemed that Ryouga was free he was once
again pulled under. Seconds passed, and then there was a groan of
machinery as if two walls were coming together. Ryouga surfaced near
Ran.
"Help him!" she called to Ran. Then to Ryouga, "what happened?"
"I don't know." Ryouga replied hacking out some garbage. "It had
me...then it let go and it disappeared."
Again the sound of grinding machinery filled the room.
"I've got a very bad feeling about this," Ran murmured. As if
in response, the walls of the chamber began to come together.
"Don't just stand there," Akane admonished. "Try to brace them
with something.
With that they all set out to brace the walls. Gen-baka tried to
use his own strength to stop the walls from closing in on them while
the other three attempted to prop the walls with a beam. It wasn't
working. Suddenly Ryouga remembered the droids. He pulled out his
commlink.
"Shampoo? Shampoo come in." Nothing. "Shampoo do you copy?
Oh where could she be?"
-=-
Ja ne!!
Ranchan
_____________________________________________________________________
| PPPPPP ** LUCAS MUZZATTI |
| PP PP ** ranchan@total.net |
| PPPPPP ** e0fq7z7a@mail.erin.utoronto.ca |
| PP ** High Priest of the Church of Azusa, |
| PP ** Keeper of Kawaii and it's Commandments. |
|PP-P-P-CHAN PRODUCTIONS ** "So long as I live, Chivalry is not dead."|
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