- = O = -  - = O = - 

The Masks We Must Wear 

Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction by Bob Barnes 

     It was a typical Sunday spring morning in a Tokyo
neighborhood called Nerima. The birds were singing. People
were just beginning their work day. In the beautifully
designed garden of a certain large house a koi leaped
joyfully up into the sunlight and splashed back into the
ornamental pond. As had also become usual in the last
several months, loud crashes, shouts, and the staccato
rumble of running feet could be heard from the large house. 

     As the voices rose in growing anger, words became
clear. "Kawaikunee tomboy!" "Ranma you pervert!" A running
young man appeared in the open doorway of the living room
followed closely by an attractive though apparently very
angry young woman. He dodged around the table in the center
of the room and stopped to taunt her again. "You're just
jealous because I'm better looking than you when I'm a
girl!" She stopped, screamed in anguished rage, and suddenly
a metaphysically impossible, huge wooden hammer appeared in
her hands. Bellowing, "RANMA NO BAKA!!!" she unleashed a
swing with the enormous mallet that Babe Ruth would have
envied. *WHAM!!* The blow connected and sent the boy
crashing through the wall of the house on a gently rising
trajectory that lofted him up over the courtyard wall and
out over the neighboring houses and into the distance. 

     Yes, just another typical morning in Nerima. Nothing
ever changes. People are so predictable, aren't they? 

          - = O = -  - = O = -  

     Akane sat down at the table for breakfast muttering
about Ranma's thoughtless stupidity. "Now I'm going to have
to go buy those supplies for the dojo by myself, and Ranma
said he'd help me. Inconsiderate baka pervert!" 

     Her father looked over his newspaper. "But daughter,
dear, it was you who knocked him out of the house. Did you
think he would be able to go shopping with you after that?" 

     "He started the fight, Father! He probably just didn't
want to go with me. He's probably getting breakfast at the
Ucchan or the Nekohanten right now, and laughing about
getting out of helping me. Grrrr..." 

     "Akane-chan, you really should try harder to get along
with Ranma-kun. He is your fiancee, after all," said Kasumi. 

     "As if I'd ever marry somebody like that Ranma. This
whole engagement thing was Dad's and Saotome-san's idea, not
mine. The very thought of being married to that... that...
that... Arrrghhh!" With shaking shoulders Akane hunched down
over her bowl and began to eat furiously. 

     Kasumi sighed and looked down at the table. It
sometimes seemed hopeless to her. Would those two ever get
together? 

     Nabiki, sitting across the table, glanced at her angry
sister and did a double take. Was she trying to hide a
smile? Was she shaking because she was trying, hard, not to
laugh? 'Oh come on, stupid!' she thought to herself, and
gently bopped the side of her head. 'Got to get my
imagination under control. What could she possibly have to
laugh about?' 

     Akane jumped up from the table and announced, "I'm
finished. Thank you for the breakfast Kasumi-oneechan. I
have to go now. Bye Bye, everyone." She grabbed her shoulder
bag and ran to the front door. As she slipped on her shoes,
she called over her shoulder, "I should be back by this
afternoon, daddy. See you then." The others heard the front
door slide open and shut followed by Akane's running
footsteps on the front walk. 

     Soun sighed, put down his newspaper and broke the heavy
silence, "My friend, I'm beginning to wonder if this
marriage is going to work out. It's been nearly a year and
those two seem to get along worse now than they did in the
beginning." 

     Genma-panda looked thoughtful for a moment and held up
a sign that said: "You may be right, old friend." flip "I
don't know what else we can do." He then rose and shuffled
into the kitchen. 

     Soun turned to his other two daughters and looked at
them calculatingly. "Perhaps Kasumi or Nabiki would be
better suited..." 

     Kasumi gasped and covered her mouth with her hands.
Nabiki was more forthcoming: "Oh no, Father! We've been over
this before. Akane is the only real choice. There is no way
Kasumi or I will go along with this. You just forget that
idea right now. Ranma's not really a bad guy, but you're not
marrying me to a dumb martial arts jock, and he's too young
for Kasumi. Besides, I already know what it's like being
engaged to him, and it is not _ever_ going to happen again."
Nabiki glared at her father until he looked away. 

     Genma returned from the kitchen and watched the end of
this confrontation thoughtfully. 

     Feeling certain that she had made her point strongly
enough to settle the issue, Nabiki left the table to go to
her room. Kasumi cleared the table and busied herself in the
kitchen. 

     Genma sat back down at the table and contemplated his
tea cup silently for a moment. "Tendo-kun, my old friend,
I'm beginning to wonder what we are doing wrong. Your
daughter and my idiot son are perfect for each other. Why
won't they just accept that and get on with it? Is there
some way we can apply more pressure to them?" 

     "If there is a way to push them together harder, we'll
think of it. You can be sure of that. Let us think about it
for a while and talk again this afternoon. Until then, are
you ready to be beaten, again?" 

     "Why do you say 'again' Tendo-kun? Is your memory
failing you? You have never beaten me... not without
cheating, at any rate." As the two men moved to the game
board they continued the old, old argument... 

          - = O = -  - = O = -  

     Ranma-onna leaned back against the tile wall of the
pedestrian tunnel and shivered slightly in her damp
clothing. The tunnel connected the basement floors of two
large commercial buildings separated by a major roadway and
a branch rail line. The buildings were also connected by an
overhead walkway at the third floor level. For some reason
people seemed to prefer the overhead walkway to the tunnel
and because of that the tunnel was seldom used. Better yet,
the doors at the ends of the tunnel had hinges that squeaked
loudly whenever they were opened making it easy to tell when
someone came in. Best of all, there was no place to hide
inside the tunnel. Ranma had checked that very carefully
after he had found this place many weeks before. 

     Privacy was such a hard thing to find, what with
voyeuristic family members, insane gymnasts, ninjas,
Amazons, okanomiyaki chefs, obsessive rivals and occasional
crazed revenge seekers all sneaking around and hiding and
watching and listening. Because of this Ranma spent quite a
lot of his time discreetly looking for places like this one.
Just having a private conversation without being overheard
was nearly impossible. Any kind of actual intimacy with
anyone was out of the question except in very rare
circumstances. Thinking of all this, Ranma-onna wondered if
she should resent it all more than she did. It was a
problem, certainly. It could be very annoying when important
issues or situations had to wait to be discussed and
settled. Still, the rare, stolen moments of privacy could be
so sweet.... 

     With a screech of rusty hinges and a bang, the door at
the south end of the tunnel flew open and Akane Tendo came
into the tunnel. Seeing Ranma-onna she started to trot
toward her and growled angrily, "Ranma! There you are, you
baka. I've been looking for you for half an hour. I see you
landed in the water, again." 

     Ranma-onna stood up straight from the wall and turned
toward Akane. She smiled cutely and said, "There was someone
watching the primary so I had to come here to the backup.
Did you see them? I think it was Shampoo. We are all clear
here. I've already checked it. We can be alone for a time...
Akane-san." 

     Akane's face lit up with her rare, beautiful smile.
With a subtle shift of posture and bearing she changed her
presence. She appeared softer somehow, more feminine and
certainly more cheerful. When she spoke again her voice was
soft and sweetly modulated. "Here, Ranma-kun, I brought the
hot water for you," she said, taking a thermos from her
shoulder bag and handing it to Ranma-onna. After his
transformation, she took the thermos back and handed him a
towel. 

     "Thank you very much indeed, Akane-san. I do appreciate
your thoughtfulness. Your mallet strike earlier was
absolutely perfect, you know. The force and placement of the
blow, speed of the swing and, from what I could see, the
follow through were all exquisitely precise and controlled."

     "Ranma-kun, you're talking like a college professor,
again. Have you been reading classical literature like I
suggested?" 

     "Ahhh... yeah, I guess I have." Ranma's face turned
serious. He looked at his feet and continued softly.
"Akane-san, you know that 'Baka' sounds like an unschooled
peasant with shit still on his shoes when he talks. I hate
that, but it's the way I learned to talk. I _will_ change my
speech, but I can only practice on you and only at times
like this." He raised his head and looked closely into
Akane's eyes. "I know the way 'Baka' speaks embarrasses you
sometimes when we are together, out there. Maybe I'm over
reacting." He gently cupped her cheek in his right hand.
"Please forgive the embarrassment I must sometimes cause
you, Akane-san, and please also forgive me if I go too far
the other way when we can be ourselves." 

     Akane sighed and also cupped Ranma's cheek in her right
hand. Her eyes glistened slightly as she gazed deeply into
her friend's eyes. "I forgive you. It is forgotten." She
stroked her cheek against his palm and said, "Please forgive
me for the things I must say about you to others. I think I
am far too good at insulting you. You know why I do it, but
please also know: I don't really mean it." 

     Holding Akane's gaze, Ranma drew a deep breath, held it
a moment and let it out in a long sigh. After a long pause
he said the words, "I forgive you. It is forgotten." 

     They both dropped their hands and looked away from each
other. After a moment, Ranma cleared his throat and said,
"As I was saying, you were perfect with the mallet this
morning. I've said this before, but I worry about one of the
others attacking you when you are alone. It's an obvious
thing for Kodachi or Shampoo to try. I want you to know that
I'm feeling a lot more optimistic about that, now. I have a
feeling that because of the way you've improved in the art
since we started working together the next person who
challenges you is in for a very _nasty_ surprise." 

     Akane blushed slightly and bowed to him. They both
grinned strange little shark-like smiles at each other. "Oh
you are too kind to me, Ranma-kun. I know I have a long way
to go before I completely master our two families' art. I'm
glad, though, that I didn't hurt you with my mallet. I do
worry about that, sometimes." 

     "Nonsense, Akane-san. A true martial artist must be
able to take a blow without being damaged too much." 

     Akane's brow wrinkled slightly. "Are you saying I can't
hit hard enough to hurt you?" 

     "Not at all, Akane-san. Because of the signals we've
worked out between us, I always know in advance when the
blow will come. That makes it easy to prepare to receive it
safely." Ranma chuckled and stood up very straight. With an
ironic grin he said, "You should know this: your strength,
now, is such that in a real fight you could easily kill or
maim your opponent with a single blow. Your hands are never
empty, Akane-san, for you potentially hold a person's death
in them. It's a heavy responsibility that any true martial
artist carries. Your honor and will are all that holds this
back. Luckily, _your_ honor is true and your will is
strong." 

     Akane laughed out loud. "So serious, Ranma-kun... you
sound just like a sensei in a martial arts movie." 

     Ranma put his hand on the back of his head and laughed
in an embarassed way. "Thank you, Akane-san. That is what I
most want to be in this life. Not a movie martial artist,
but a real sensei in real life." He shuffled his feet
uncertainly for a moment. "Seriously, though, I ment that.
Akane-san, you really do have the ability to kill, now. This
is important. It really is an art, and _we_ really are
artists. All that about honor and will sounds pompous, but
we can't ever forget it. Without honor we'd be nothing more
than a couple of skilled street thugs. Consider a serious
fight with an opponent you already know, like Kodachi, for
example. If or maybe when she attacks you again, you will
have to decide how you want to handle it." 

     "What do you mean, Ranma-kun?" 

     "Hmmm... maybe it's a strategy thing. Kodachi uses
weapons. That's a weakness and you know how to exploit it.
Avoid her initial attack and then disarm her and then what
do you do? Honor and will, Akane-san. At that point you
could play around with her and scare her half to death or
you could pound her into the ground and completely humiliate
her or you could kill her as easily as you could snap a
twig. So what will you do?" 

     Akane felt a thrill run up her spine. Ranma really did
mean what he was saying. 'Is this what it feels like to be
respected as a martial artist?' she thought to herself.
"Ranma-kun, that sounds so ugly. I wouldn't want to
humiliate or scare Kodachi, and the thought of killing
someone makes me want to throw up." 

     "No. No, Akane-san. Oh... I'm not sure how to put this.
Think about this: a painter has more than one brush. Maybe
this hasn't happened to you before. In my opinion you have
improved so much that you will do more than just win your
next fight. If it's against Kodachi, you will dominate her."

     Akane's face twitched in surprise and she recoiled
slightly at Ranma's words. 

     Ranma smiled reassuringly at her, clasped her shoulders
and began stroking his hands up and down her arms. "What I'm
trying to say is, probably in your next serious fight there
will be a kind of click in your mind and you will suddenly
realize in that moment: you _could_ do any of those things
to your opponent. _You_ will be in control of the outcome.
Completely in control. Ah... It will be your choice which
brush to use. Because of our training together and your hard
work you now have several more brushes than you did before."

     "What would you do, Ranma-kun?" 

     "What I always do. I would just barely win the fight.
I'd beat my opponent, but not humiliate them. Let them think
maybe I just got lucky. I'm not saying you should do that,
but it's what I like to do. One thing, though, if you can
help it, don't ever let your opponent see everything you've
got. Always try to hold something back." 

     "But then they would just think they should try again.
Why would you want that?" 

     "It's the art, Akane-san. Where would a martial artist
be if everyone was afraid to fight them?" 

     It was as if a light had suddenly come on in her mind.
"You really mean it when you say 'art' and 'artist,' don't
you? A painter needs canvas and paint and... and brushes. A
musician needs instruments and an audience. A martial artist
needs opponents and fights. Wow! That's big, Ranma-kun,
really big. I've got to think about this... a lot." She
looked at him archly, "So, have you always been a
philosopher?" 

     He grinned sheepishly, and looked away from her. "Not
really. Just since a certain friend of mine started pushing
books at me." He slid his hands back up to her shoulders and
gently squeezed. "Dad just taught me a thousand ways to
throw a punch and another thousand ways to block a punch. He
seems to think that's what it's all about. It's because of
you that I read things like _The Book of Five Rings_ and
_Sun Tzu_." He pulled her closer. "I think my mind has grown
more in the last year than it did in all the time before I
came here. I owe it all to you, _friend_." 

     Akane reached up and squeezed Ranma's hands on her
shoulders. "You know, I wish we could be like this all the
time. It is so _good_ to have a friend like you. Do you
remember that night I carried you... back from Doctor
Tofu's." 

     "Of course! I'll never forget it. It was the night I
made my first true friend. That memory is precious to me.
You understood the situation we were in much better than I
did. Your suggestion that we forgive each other for the
mistakes we made at our first meeting and become real
friends moved me like nothing else that had ever happened to
me." 

     His voice caught and he stopped talking for a moment.
He took her hands in his. Clasping both of them tightly he
said, "Until that moment I had never realized how lonely I
was. Nor did I know how ignorant I was of how to be a friend
until you began to teach me. I wish we could be open about
this, too, but you know as well as I do what would happen.
Among other things, our father's would have us married in
ten minutes if they had the slightest clue how we feel about
each other." 

     "Would marriage be so bad, Ranma-kun?" 

     Ranma realized that Akane needed reassurance. After
months of practice he had gotten much better at this.
"Akane-san... how can I say this... because of the way my
father raised me, my heart is still a child's heart." 

     "You've been reading poetry, too, haven't you, Ranma-
kun." 

     He smiled and nodded. After thinking a bit he went on.
"Marriage is a thing for adults, Akane-san. At the time of
life when children learn about friendship and love, my
father saw to it that I learned how to fight and win at all
costs and nothing else. That stunted me. It stopped the
growth of my heart, so in a sense it is still a child's
heart. I only began to recognize my ignorance through your
friendship and care for me, Akane-san. I can't say I love
you because I don't think I know what love is, yet. I am
learning though, with your help. Learning slowly, and you
know full well that I make many mistakes, still." 

     She smiled reassuringly at him, but didn't interrupt. 

     "I know just enough to believe that now is the wrong
time for either of us to marry anyone. If our fathers win,
if we are forced to marry now, you will be hurt. I can't
prove this, and I can't explain it logically. I believe it,
though." He dropped her hands and moved a few inches away
from her. "You should know this, Akane-san: I will do
_anything_ to keep you safe from hurt. I would _die_ for
that, if I had to. Does this mean I love you? I don't know.
I'm still too ignorant to know." As if in shame for his
inadequacy, he started to turn away from her. 

     Akane moved to stay in front of him. "Don't do that!
Don't ever feel bad about telling me the truth!" Her voice
broke a little. Softly. "Don't ever regret being a man with
me." She crossed her arms and squeezed tightly into herself.
"I know something is bothering you. Something we haven't
been able to talk about. Oh, Sometimes I hate this thing we
have to do. It hurts me when 'Tomboy' calls you those names
and hits you all the time, Ranma-kun. It's so unfair to you
to act like everything is always your fault. I look forward
to the day when we can stop playing the roles and just be
ourselves. I want that to happen so much..." 

     "The prize is worth it, Akane-san. You have to believe
that. One way or the other we _will_ be free to live our own
lives. It's true that we started this just to fool our
fathers into giving up on the engagement. When all those
other fiancees and rivals started appearing I didn't know
what to do, but Akane-san, the 'Baka' and 'Tomboy' thing
worked to keep them away, too." Ranma clasped her shoulders
again and gave her a gentle shake of emphasis with each
'right'. "You were right in the beginning and you are still
right. No one has the right to force us to do what we don't
want. No matter what promises our parents may have made. No
matter how rich or powerful another may be. No matter what
anyone does to blackmail us or trick us. You have the right
idea." 

     "Yes, Ranma-kun, I know I started it. I was willing to
fight _every_ boy at Furinkan High every morning _forever_
to stop Kuno from claiming me like some stupid prize in a
contest. I know, too, that this act we put on is just
another way to fight back against people who would try to
force us or hurt us in a lot worse ways if they ever
suspected how we really feel about each other. It's getting
harder to do, though." She sniffed and laughed ironically,
then wrapped her arms around Ranma. "You'd think it would
get easier with practice, and while it _is_ easier to stay
in character after all this time, sometimes I want to do
this so badly my heart hurts," she said, tightening her hug
and burying her head in Ranma's chest. 

     His arms came up and pulled her closer. She felt so
_good_ in his arms. He felt so calm and happy at times like
this. The rare times they could be safe together. "I'll
never forget the first time we just started improvising all
this together. It was at your house in the morning at
breakfast. I know we'd promised to trust and just go along
with each other, but when I insulted you -- I can't remember
what I said -- and you just went along with it and sent it
back to me... what a weird feeling that was. I wanted to
stop and appologize to you right then. I'm glad we trusted
each other and went with it. I'm sure this is going to work
for us." He pressed his cheek against the top of her head as
if trying to completely surround her with his body. 

     The acid resentment he sometimes felt at the
interfering others in their lives drained away, and he
simply enjoyed the closeness of his friend. Her shivering
tenseness also softened into calm acceptance of the intimacy
of the moment. 

     _This_ was the prize they both strove for. This
feeling. This simple thing they had discovered in each
other... that neither of them had ever felt before in their
lonely lives. They both believed it was too fragile to risk
out in the open. The angry, obsessive others would
ruthlessly crush it out of existence, if they knew. Their
stupid, stubborn fathers would forcefully wrap them in heavy
chains of duty, honor and obligation that would strangle and
erase this feeling, if they knew. Even her sisters: loving,
duty-bound Kasumi and devious Nabiki would interfere and
fumble and thoughtlessly poison this precious, delicate,
lovely feeling that was slowly growing stronger every day
between them. If. They. Knew. 

     "Akane-san, I wonder if there will ever be another
person in my life that I can trust like I trust you." 

     "What I sometimes wonder is how we got so lucky to find
each other, Ranma-kun. We owe Tofu-sensei a lot. I think
about trust and promises and secrets all the time. I've got
to tell you something. Ever since Shampoo came you know
we've been sharing one secret each time we get together like
this. I've been trying and trying and I just can't think of
another secret to tell you. You know it all, Ranma-kun. How
about you?" 

     He stiffened in her arms. "Ah... well I think I've only
got two left. It's kind of weird you brought Shampoo up.
That was our first really big test, wasn't it?" 

     "It sure was. I had to struggle to trust you because
you never said anything about her. Not to mention a certain
event involving a friend of mine and a Chinese person asleep
together that I could bring up if I hadn't already forgotten
about it." Akane's mood darkened. "She was the one who
showed us we had to keep up the acting. I would have been in
real trouble if she had made me forget about 'Baka' the
pervert as well as Ranma. She never knew there were two
different 'people' who were connected by the same body, so
to speak. When you started screaming insults at 'Tomboy' the
very first thing that came back was that she was a role I
should play and not really me. The next was surprise that it
was _you_ insulting me, then all the rest of my memories
just popped out at once." 

     "Nothing in my life ever scared me as much as that. I
was ready to try anything. When you smacked me out of the
dojo it saved me from having Dad see me crying tears of
relief, Akane-san." *sniff* "It was like you had died,
Akane-san." The memory of that day came back with all its
horror. But with all its hope, too. The game they were
playing became very serious that day, but it had saved them,
too. "My Akane-san. I almost lost you, then." 

     Err... I know I keep bringing this up, but you know you
don't have to be so formal with me when we are alone and
safe like this. You can call me 'Akane-chan'. You can call
me 'Akane'. Umm... Ranma-kun. What I mean is you can... call
me anything you want... when we are alone...." She squeezed
him tightly to her. 

     Ranma shivvered in her arms. Even his voice trembled.
"Th-that's not it... sweet A-akane-_san_. The 'Baka' calls
the 'Tomboy' 'Akane' because of a lack of respect for her. I
don't think the 'Baka' really respects anybody. That's why
he never uses honorifics. But... but _I_ respect _you_ and I
guess I want to _do_ it... a lot... when I can. It's just a
way to prove to myself that I am _not_ really the 'Baka,'
and you are _not_ the 'Tomboy.'" 

     "I _know_ you respect me ba_... er... you somewhat-
less-than-totally-brilliant-all-the-time man." *giggle* She
loosened her arms and pushed Ranma back so she could see his
face. "At least it's better than calling me 'Tendo' as if
you were a close friend but slightly lower social class,
like you used to do. You're making progress, Ranma-kun, my
dear man." 

     Responding to her attempt to lighten the mood, Ranma
smiled at her and reached up to gently brush her lips with
his index finger. "No. We are making progress, together. I
could never do it without the help of someone who
understands me so well." He put his hands on his hips and
smiled ironically at her. "Which you can do so well because
you used to be such a tom_... Um... girl-with-a-strongly-
masculine-character?" 

     She smiled appreciatively, tipped her head to the side
and winked at him. 

     His answering smile faded in a few moments as a
thoughtful look clouded his features. "It's a good thing
you've had drama classes and stuff like that. I know I would
never have thought of talking about 'Baka' and 'Tomboy' like
they were different people and that thing about being a
chair or those improvisation drills for when we were
supposed to be sparring in the dojo." He cupped his chin in
his hand. "Say, do you think I should take a drama class
next term in school?" 

     Akane released him and began to pace, thoughtfully.
"That's probably a bad idea. When we started we really only
had to fool our fathers. Now there are a lot of people who
would go completely crazy if our 'secret' came out. For
example, I remember you said Ryouga has a crush on me." She
suddenly stopped pacing for a moment and stared thoughtfully
at the blank tunnel wall. "Umm... well anyway, He'd go
violently nuts if he knew how close we really are..." She
started to pace again but stopped after only a few steps.
"Is _that_ why he hates you so much? It doesn't seem like
enough, somehow..." She shook her head and turned toward
Ranma. "So. Anyway, we better not give anyone cause to think
too much about Ranma Saotome and acting in the same
sentence, so to speak. I may even drop out of drama, just to
be safer. Who knows how much longer we'll have to do this?" 

     "It's like juggling a few too many balls at once,
sometimes." Ranma was watching Akane closely and rather
nervously. "As for dropping out of drama... I don't think
you should. Don't you really like it?" 

     "Sure. I love acting. I've even thought about taking
drama in college. Well... we'll see about later when it
comes. How's the time, Ranma-kun?" 

     "We've got some time, but I think we should be going
fairly soon." 

     *sigh* "Yes. I guess you are right. We have to get back
to what passes for real life." She came close and looked up
into his face. "I really like the things we do the same way
every time, but I wasn't kidding when I said I just can't
think of any more secrets to share with you for this part.
We can skip it if you want to." 

     She was shocked when Ranma flinched at her words. He
turned away and walked a few steps, then changed his mind
and walked back to stand right in front of her. He stood
very stiffly and seemed to be searching for the right words
to say. He started very slowly and quietly. "I was thinking
about what to say, now, while I was waiting for you to get
here. I... ah... I don't think we should skip it." His
resolve seemed to waver, and he began to pace again,
thinking. Finally he walked back to her and abruptly sat
down on the floor. 

     He began twiddling his fingers together and stared at
them. "I said I could only think of two more things to tell
you. One is just really embarassing. The other is huge,
Akane-san. For months I've been hoping I wouldn't _have_ to
tell you the last big secret I've been keeping from you.
It's not like Shampoo where danger came and we weren't
ready, but I'm afraid it's going to be as big a test for
us." He clasped his hands together and began to tap them on
the floor. "I made a stupid promise to keep a secret and
that made it a matter of honor, because a promise is a
promise, you know?" He looked up at her. 

     What she saw literally brought her to her knees in
front of Ranma. Tracks of tears were running down his face!
Despite their openness with each other, and despite all the
painful things they had shared between them, Ranma had
openly cried like this only once before: the manliness
promise that seemed to have cost him his mother. He must be
serious when he said this was huge. She knew something had
been bothering him, but had waited for him to be ready. This
thing was hurting her man! 

     She felt a flash of anger, but under it a hard resolve
grew. Although she never used the word for fear of
pressuring him, Akane had known for some time that Ranma
owned her heart. She loved this complicated, beautiful man
with a fierce, firey urgency that was sometimes frightening
in its intensity. She would cheerfully die for him.
Sometimes, alone at night when sleep wouldn't come and the
dark thoughts did, she worried that she might even be
willing to kill for him. There had to be a way to help him.
Suddenly she thought of something... something ugly and
threatening. 

     She grabbed his clasped hands and pulled them into her
lap. "Ranma-kun, was this a promise to keep a secret from
_me_?" He nodded, closed his eyes then bowed his head. 

     Looking at his glossy black hair through a curtain of
sympathetic tears she felt as if someting were wrenching and
pulling at her stomach. Oh no, what to do? Technically,
keeping this secret from her was permitted by the complex
dance of rules and rituals promises and trust that had grown
to define their odd relationship, but it felt like betrayal.
What to do? In the end, the answer was simple. What single
thing had gotten them safely through every crisis since the
beginning? What was the adamantine core of the bond they
shared? She drew in a deep shuddering breath and let most of
it out. 

     "Then don't tell me." 

     She would trust him, again. 

     He looked up at her in surprise. "I mean it, Ranma-kun.
A year ago I would have demanded you tell me. Six months ago
I probably would have. Even three months ago, maybe. Now?"
She let out a short bark of laughter. "I know your heart
pretty well, my dear man. I'm in no danger from this, am I?"

     A sharp shake of Ranma's head -- no. 

     "Hmm... this _is_ something I could figure out for
myself if I thought about it, isn't it?" 

     A tentative nod -- yes. 

     She closed her eyes for a moment in thought then opened
them and leaned forward to give him a quick peck on the
lips. She settled back into her kneeling position. "I guess
we all have to grow up sometime, neh, Ranma-kun? I think
this is my problem and not yours. I know how important your
honor is to you. If I asked it of you, you'd break your
honor and tell me, wouldn't you?" 

     He nodded shyly -- yes. 

     "Then don't. I give you permission not to tell me this
secret." 

     Relief flooded Ranma's face and he leaned forward to
hug her. It didn't work very well face to face on the floor
like this. After a moment he rose to his feet and gave Akane
a hand to help her up. She bent to fish a handkerchief from
her shoulder bag and handed it to him. 

     After wiping his tears and blowing, he folded it and
put it in his pocket. He slowly reached out to cup her cheek
and asked, "Should I appologize for keeping this secret from
you, Akane-san?" 

     She caught his hand and held it tightly. "I don't think
so. Maybe you should save it for when I figure out this big
secret." She looked at him out of the corner of her eye.
"I'm likely to be pretty angry just then, right?" 

     His free hand darted to the back of his head and he
gave an insincere giggle. "Ah, that would be telling,
wouldn't it. No more clues, please?" He looked at her
beseechingly and then cutely fluttered his eyelids at her. 

     She laughed. "All right. All right. No more on that
one." Still laughing she said, "You know, you need a dose of
cold water to pull that one off properly." 

     He started to pull back his hand and was surprised when
Akane wouldn't release him. He looked at her questioningly.
Oh boy, this was an Akane he didn't see very often. This
looked just like the post combat adrenaline rush. He
realized that this had been as hard for her as it had been
for him. 

     She had a little 'v' shaped smile with lots of teeth
showing. "Do you remember that long talk we had a few months
ago about give and take?" He got that standard Saotome
cornered-rat-looking-for-a-way-to-escape look on his face
and nodded. "Well... don't you still owe me one?" Without
waiting for a reply she leaned so close to his face that he
could feel her breath as she said, "I want you to tell me
the other one. The really _embarassing_ one." 

     He jumped back, blushed and tried to smile... weakly.
'Hmm... So she wants to play,' he thought to himself. 'Well,
Miss Akane Tendo gets what she wants from me. I think I have
just the thing, and it looks like a good time.' 

     "Oh boy. You don't miss a thing, do you." He put his
hands on her shoulders and gently turned her to face away
from him. He dropped his hands to her waist and pulled her
back against him. As he slid his arms around her in a hug he
said, "This kind is a lot easier to tell if I can whisper it
into your ear." She snuggled back into him and put her hands
on his arms. "It's about my feelings, and you know what a
struggle that's been for me... telling you, I mean." She
nodded. "I haven't been keeping it to myself because I was
worried it would make you angry. I've been keeping it
because it's so intimate." 

     She shivered in anticipation. She almost always liked
these secrets, especially now that Ranma had grown much more
confident about his manhood. It had been an uphill struggle
at first when he had been convinced that boyish bravado and
macho pride was all that stood between him and his greatest
fear. 'As if having a girl's body from time to time could
turn _him_ into a girl,' she thought to herself. *Hah!* 

     He jumped. "What was that for?" 

     "Ooops. Was that out loud? Sorry. I was just thinking."

     "What were you thinking?" 

     "Weeelll, Ranma-kun. Since we promised to always tell
the complete and honest truth to each other and since you
_did_ ask.... My exact thoughts, and this is verbatim mind
you, were: As if having a girl's body from time to time
could turn _him_ into a girl... Hah!" She craned her head
back to look over her shoulder. "Want to hear the rest?" 

     "Yeah!" 

     Turning her head back to face away she continued, "I
was remembering how impossible it was for you to talk about
your feelings back when we first started. Also I was
thinking about the very first two secrets we ever shared...
that night on the way back from Doctor Tofu's. You do know
that telling you about my feelings of inadequacy as a
martial artist was the hardest thing I ever did, don't you?"

     "I sure do. Just like telling you about my fear that my
curse would turn me into a girl was by far the hardest thing
I ever did. How were we able to do that? Where did the
courage to take that kind of risk and trust somebody that
much come from? I can't figure it out, and I think about it
a lot." 

     "I don't know about that. I'm just glad it came from
somewhere. Very glad. Anyway, the last part of my thoughts
just now was how nice it is that you seem to have gotten
over a lot of that fear. So tell me, what is this intimate
secret?" 

     "Earlier you mentioned an incident in a bedroom
involving a Chinese person. This is connected with another
forgiven and forgotten incident in a bathroom near that
bedroom that happened the day we met. One part of the secret
is that I haven't forgotten all of that particular
incident." 

     "Yeeesss. Do go on." 

     "My father and I did a lot of traveling when I was
young, as you know." 

     "What's that got to do with it?" 

     "Just be patient. I'll get there. I learned a lot from
all that travel and not just martial arts, although Dad
tried hard to limit it." 

     "Grrr... You're such a tease sometimes! Get on with it,
will you?" 

     "One of the things I learned was the world has a lot of
beautiful things in it. I had chances to see quite a few of
them. I could spend a couple of hours describing them, if
you like." 

     "Don't you dare!" 

     "Well it was beauty of nature type stuff. You know,
tree covered mountains in the fall, Fujiyama under a coat of
fresh snow, waves on the ocean at dawn just after a storm.
You get the picture, right?" 

     "Uh huh." 

     Ranma's voice had dropped as he had spoken and he was
now speaking in a whisper. "I saw a lot of beautiful things.
Naturally beautiful things. And I saw something I wasn't
supposed to see, too. I got a real good look at you,
Akane-san. A real good long look, and you know what?" 

     "Uhh??" 

     "Out of all the beautiful things I've ever seen, one of
them has to be the most beautiful. It was you, Akane-san.
You, right there and then were the most beautiful thing I've
ever seen." 

     "Ohhhh... That's a pretty good secret." 

     "That's not the secret, Akane-san." 

     "What? It's not?" 

     "No, it's just the lead up to the secret." Ranma
pressed his lips against Akane's ear and whispered very
quietly, indeed. "The secret is that I'd really like to see
that sight again some day." 

     "'Oh, my!' to quote my straight laced sister. Do you
want to see me naked, Ranma-kun? 

     "I would enjoy that very much." 

     "Now?" She was pleased by Ranma's surprised jump. 

     "Was that an offer?" 

     "What do you think?" 

     "Truthfully, I think we don't have the time and this is
certainly not a good place. To maintain honesty, I have to
add that those two thoughts fill me with regret." 

     Akane turned in Ranma's arms and loosely wrapped her
arms around his neck. Looking into his eyes, now. "Let me
tell you something, my _man_ friend. Just pick the time and
the place. I'll be there." 

     "Are you serious, Akane-san?" 

     "What I think is that it's about time. I'm not saying
we should break any laws, but if you'd like to get a little
more physical, it's all right with me. Why not? I'm certain
I can trust you to treat me right." 

     "I've got to think about this. You really surprised
me." He grinned at her. "I really should be used to that by
this time, but there's always more to you. You just keep
coming up with surprises for me. Pleasant ones. I'd love to
be more physical with you, but I'm a little worried it might
widen a gap I've been feeling." He hugged her tightly then
released her and began to pace. 

     "What did that acting book say? Something like 'be the
role'?" Ranma struck a totally fake 'dramatic' pose, held it
for a bit and then dropped his arms to his sides. "It's kind
of hard for me to 'be' the 'Baka'. Sure, I can do it in my
sleep once I get going. My trouble is that it's hard for me
to want it. My 'there' isn't there when I need to get back
into the role. At least not without a struggle. I think the
problem is, as time goes on Ranma is growing away from
'Baka' more and more. It's easy to see why. 'Baka' hasn't
changed a bit in the last year except for learning some new
martial arts techniques." 

     "I don't really have the same problem with 'Tomboy'. I
think it may be because I liked myself, then. I like what
I'm becoming _more_, but 'Tomboy' isn't such a bad kid...
just a little odd and one sided. Oh yeah, I forgot to
mention this earlier. 'Tomboy' is going to learn one of the
great secrets of the ages in the next few days. It's one of
the closely held secrets of cooking that she's been too dumb
to figure out on her own." 

     _This_ definately got Ranma's attention. "And what is
this obscure cooking secret?" 

     "It's called: 'Taste the food before you serve it.'" 

     Ranma fell to his knees and bowed deeply. "Praise be to
Buddha and all the Avatars. At last! A Clue! Will wonders
never cease?" 

     "Enough! Enough!" *giggle* "Come on, you knew 'Tomboy'
wasn't going to get any better at cooking very soon even
when you taught me how. Besides, it's such a great way to
torture our Dads. She's not going to get _that_ much better.
Just a bit less toxic. I want to tweak Ukyou a little." 

     "How will that tweak Kuonji-san?" 

     "Where do you think 'Tomboy' is going to learn the
secret?" 

     "You have a truly devious mind. I like that in a
friend. Say, you must be Nabiki Tendo's sister." 

     "Just a matter of self confidence, Ranma-kun." *sigh*
"It's been a long time. I think we better get out of here,
don't you?" 

     "Yeah. Right now people are probably wondering where we
are and looking for us. Together or separately this time?
I'll be so glad when this is all over and we can drop the
act." 

     "Well, no one saw us come in. Otherwise we would have
been invaded by now. Let's go together, this time." She
pulled Ranma to his feet and grabbed him in a truly world
class glomp. He glomped her right back. "It's only a matter
of time, Ranma-kun. Someday we'll be able to do this anytime
we want. Someday we might even be able to let it all show.
All of it!" 

     "Ahhh... don't tease me, Akane-san. Please. It would be
so _nice_ to just be able to tell all the others to get the
hell out of our lives and leave us alone, and then stand
back to back with you and knock them into next week when
they attacked us. Someday I swear I will kiss you in front
of your father and tell him that no I won't marry you until
and unless you and I are both damned good and ready to." 

     "That would feel so good. I'll match you, Ranma-kun.
One of these days, soon, my _man_ friend and I are going to
go see Mrs. Nodoka Saotome and let her find out how manly
you really are." She growled and bit him on the neck. 

     Ranma began to chuckle. "Oh yes, and then I'll splash
myself and you and I can pound on Kuno together until he
finally understands that we aren't interested. Hmmm... we
may have to break every bone in his body, though, before he
finally figures it out." 

     With a giggle, Akane chimed in with, "After that we may
have to do the same thing to Kodachi or Shampoo, too."
Suddenly a bit more serious, she added, "I really don't want
to go that far with Ukyou. Of all the others, she's one I
would really like to be friends with. Don't you agree?" 

     "Yeah, I think she's really a good person. She just
needs to get over me. I don't know, Akane-san. Maybe she'll
let us help. That would be nice." 

     "Yes it would. And after we get our fathers to give up
on the marriage thing, we'll go find a real cure for your
curse, Ranma-kun, and fix that, too. I mean, if we can fool
everybody this much for this long, we can probably
accomplish just about anything, together. Maybe even marry
each other someday." 

     "Maybe so. I know the idea doesn't scare me or nothing.
err... I mean 'or anything.' That's later, though. We've got
a lot to handle right now." Ranma stepped back and took
Akane's hand in his. It was time for the last ritual. "One
thing is for sure..." 

     Both of them together: "Whatever happens we will be
better parents than ours were." They hooked their little
fingers together like two children. "No matter what, friends
for life. I promise." 

     They dropped hands, stepped away and turned their backs
to each other. Akane covered her face with her hands for a
moment while Ranma put his hand to the wall and leaned a bit
with his eyes closed. They both took a few deep, calming
breaths. Akane, as usual, started it: "Ranma, you perverted
baka, are you ready to help me with my shopping now?" 

     "Kawaikunee tomboy! I'm no pervert. You're just too
dumb to notice!" 

     Akane flushed and drew her hand back to slap. Drew it
back just a bit further than necessary and paused for just a
moment before she swung it. *smack!* "How dare you say that
to me. As far as I'm concerned you can just go do what ever
you want to do! I don't need your help!" 

     Ranma put his hand to his cheek and rubbed it making it
redden a bit and show a palm print. As he did this the two
turned toward the north side exit to the tunnel and began to
walk along. "You're so violent, _Akane_! I think you're just
jealous of me, you know that?" 

     "What do you mean jealous!?! Of you?!?.... 

     Bickering and arguing the way they always did the two
walked through the tunnel and out into the hostile, watching
world. 

The End 

       *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * 

Obligatory author's afterword: 

I don't know if I should do an afterword to this. I mean,
the story ought to stand on its own merits, shouldn't it? Oh
well, it's my first story for FFML so I guess I'll find out
if it stands on its own or not. I would like to say
something about the source of the idea, though. 

You know, world class martial artists are not ever dumb
people. Since it's as much a matter of the mind as of the
body, you just don't get that good if you aren't pretty
smart. Just to pick an example, Bruce Lee was definately not
a dumb person. Yet, since I first started watching and
enjoying Ranma 1/2 the apparant stupidity of Ranma and Akane
has bothered me. The more I saw of the anime and later read
in the manga the more this bugged me. The two of them never
get a clue of how to get along better. Both of them just
keep on stubbornly doing exactly the _same_ dumb things that
make their relationship worse and worse. Why is that? Why
don't they ever change? Any actual human adolescent will
tell you this is the time of life where change comes the
fastest to a person. Anyone older... well, remember what it
was like? 

One day, this idea came to me. Anyone who has seen the anime
will remember the night that is referred to in the story.
What if, I asked myself, Tofu's little ploy worked way
beyond his wildest imaginings? What if the little things
that come up from time to time in the canon story that seem
to show Ranma and Akane growing a tiny bit closer aren't
that at all? What if they are actually momentary cracks in
their masks in times of great stress letting a bit of truth
show through? In a way it would mean that the entire Ranma
1/2 canon is actually an illusion created by the two friends
in order to win what they want from life against nearly
impossible odds. I'm assuming that Ranma and Akane in my
story just want one thing: to be left alone to love the one
they want and not (one of) the one(s) they should. It
doesn't actually seem to me to be a lot to ask for. I
haven't decided in my own mind, yet, if Ranma and Akane will
ever marry, assuming they can keep their fathers and all the
rivals at bay long enough to make their own choice. As it
is, I didn't have to make my mind up about that for this
story because this is about love not marriage.

Do Ranma and Akane love each other? That's a damn good
question, don't you think? ^_^