Onions and Tears The Saturday morning sun slowly rose over Japan, the warm glow shimmering over the concrete skyline of the distant city center, but here, in the 'burbs' it was quiet. The wind was still, and only the chirping of a few small birds bid the morning welcome. GRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNND! WHIIIRRRRRRR! WHIZZZZZZZZZ! BANG! BANG! Ranma slowly opened one eye as the sounds of utter destruction shocked him from peaceful sleep. "uuuhhhhh..," He groaned as he rolled out of his futon. The sound seemed to be coming from the hall outside his room. Tiredly he walked to his door and opened it, taking a careful, if not tired, peek into the hallway. Now the racket was accompanied by a smell. Either something was on fire, or someone was electrocuting cats wrapped in tinfoil. Ranma slowly staggered towards the source of the commotion. Tiredly, Ranma peered into the kitchen. Covering every square centimetre of countertop were iron pots, nabe pans, spoons, and several assortments of burning food in various stages of preparation. The mess clearly spelled Akane in bold red letters. Akane herself was facing away from Ranma, standing on a footstool, trying to fetch a bag of buckwheat flour from a top shelf. Ranma walked over to the open refrigerator and grabbed himself a can of orange juice. He moved over behind Akane, looking up at her backside inquisitively. "Yo, Akane.." Her scream cut him off, and the bag of flour hit him squarely in the face and exploded. "Ranma! You JERK!" she screamed. Buckwheat flour snowed down around them. Akane angrily glared at Ranma. Ranma, still tired, opened up and took a sip of his orange juice. "I don't suppose you wanna tell me exactly what you are trying to do here," Ranma said from beneath the mountain of flour on his head. "I was cooking! can't you tell?" Akane growled. "Cooking? For what?" Ranma snorted. "Everyone knows that when you start cooking, fire, death and panic are sure to follow." "Hmmph!" Akane snorted back. She grabbed a nearby pitcher of water and poured it over Ranma's head. The water and flour mixing to form a nice smooth paste, coating Ranma's body as he changed into a she. "Whaddidya do that for?" Ranma-chan yelled. Akane smirked and was about to make a colourful comment when she was interrupted by Kasumi. "Oh my goodness!" Kasumi said, clearly shocked at the sight of the kitchen. She stood at the edge of the kitchen in her pyjamas. Nabiki stuck her head out from the hall, just behind Kasumi. She was followed by Soun and Genma. "Uh huh, just as I thought, Akane is in the kitchen. That is six dollars Kasumi," Nabiki grinned. "Uh, Akane! What is going on here?" Soun demanded. "Have you and Ranma been fighting again? Is that what all this mess is from?" "Well boy? What is going on here?" Genma said sternly. Akane sniffed at her father and stomped out of the kitchen. Ranma-chan just sat there. Nabiki stepped over to Ranma-chan, tapping on the buckwheat that had hardened like plaster around Ranma-chan's body. "Nope, Akane was cooking, and it looks like Ranma got in the middle of it," Nabiki said. Ranma-chan's exposed eyes glared into space, and a muffled yelling could be heard. The Tendo family sat around their table eating breakfast. Genma sat off to the side of the table, slowly chipping the buckwheat plaster off of Ranma-chan. "Well boy, it's nothing to be ashamed of," Genma said as he chipped away. "And besides, Akane is only trying to cook, I'm sure it is because she wants to be a good wife, and you should be glad that she is your fiancee and willing to try so hard for you." That was all it took, Ranma-chan, enraged, broke free of the plaster and jumped to the other end of the room. "That is easy for you to say!" she yelled. "You're not the one who is engaged to a walking temper tantrum!" "Who is having the tantrum?" Nabiki muttered to Kasumi. "That's enough boy!" Genma yelled. "Now sit down." Ranma-chan, still enraged, sat down at the table, rocking with anger. "Akane, what is it you were trying to do this morning?" Kasumi asked. Akane looked around the table before answering. "I was trying to practice for the Martial Arts Traditional Meal Preparation Contest," Akane said slowly. "Martial Arts Traditional Meal Preparation contest?" They all said in unison. "Yes," said Akane. "I was trying to make the Anything Goes School Of Martial Arts Tendo Kaiseki meal." "Akane!" Kasumi gasped. "That is a five course meal". "Yeah," Akane muttered. "And I was getting along just fine with it until bonehead there showed up." "Hey!" Ranma-chan protested. "I didn't do nuthin! I never would have even been in the kitchen if you hadn't been making so much noise. I don't know what you are doing trying to enter this contest for Akane, let's face it. You can't cook. You can't even pick out good food in a restaurant." "Fine Ranma," Akane blurted, on the edge of tears. "See if I care." With that, Akane stood up and left. Soun watched her leave, then he turned to Ranma-chan. "Well?" he asked. "Aren't you going to go after her?" "Tendo is right boy," Genma said sternly. "You and Akane have to learn to work together so that someday you can truly carry on the Anything Goes School of Martial blaaarrrs." Ranma-chan, holding an empty water bucket, regarded the large panda for a second before retreating to his room. "I still say we should have left him in the plaster," Nabiki sighed. Later that morning Kasumi was helping Akane in the kitchen with the kaiseki. Nabiki was leaning against the wall nearby, arms folded, watching the melee with a crooked smile. Akane looked a little out of place in her apron. Her face was dusted with flour and her cheeks were rather flushed. She sighed as she absently brought an electric mixer to bear on some chicken breasts. "No! No! Akane!" Kasumi said softly, but sternly. "You can't use an electric mixer to chop up chicken meat!" It was too late, the storm of decimated chicken had already started. Small bits of the flightless bird were zooming across the kitchen at near lethal speed. Akane let out a yelp and ducked as the mixer seemed to take on a mind of its own, spewing chicken meat in random directions. Nabiki couldn't take it anymore and fell over in a fit of giggles. "Oh my goodness!" Kasumi yelled unfashionably. Akane, hiding behind the counter, spotted the mixer's power cord. A quick snap kick to the plug and it was all over. Akane stood up, regarded the mess, and sighed. She watched Kasumi, who was already collecting all the chicken bits off of the walls and floor. Then she turned her eyes to Nabiki, who was out of breath from giggling, and just layed there on the floor making a wheezing sound. "Awww I'm no good at this!" Akane spat. "It is a martial arts cooking contest. I'm not supposed to be using utensils or appliances anyway." Akane turned around and spotted some nearby onions. She let loose with her right fist, neatly peeling the onion, and then mincing it in one blow. "Yeeeaah!" she hit another. Ranma you Jerk, I'll show you, she thought. Tears began to stream down her cheeks as she worked. She convinced herself that it was just the onions, nothing more. Ranma-chan was perched on a rooftop flipping through an old Saotome martial arts manual. "Aha!" she thought aloud. "Saotome Tempura, I can enter the contest with this. After all, someone from the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts has to make something that won't kill all the judges." "So future son in law, thinking about entering the contest?" asked a creaky old voice. Startled, Ranma-chan nearly jumped out of her clothes. "Ah you old ghoul!" Ranma-chan yelled. "Where did you come from?" "Four thousand years of Chinese Amazon history has endowed me one or two skills future son in law," Cologne croaked, peering up at Ranma-chan. "If you have a minute, I have something for you at the Ramen shop." Ranma-chan blinked, paused, and then eyed Cologne suspiciously. "You wouldn't be trying to pull anything funny now would you?" Ranma-chan implored. "Of course not future son in law," Cologne beamed. "Three thousand years of Chinese Amazon history wouldn't let me do anything of the sort." Cologne turned around and began to head off in the direction of the Ramen shop. "You better hurry if you want your surprise future son in law!" she yelled over her shoulder. She grinned to herself, being sneaky was an entirely different matter. Ranma-chan sighed, knowing this could be trouble. She took off in the direction which Cologne had left. "Wait up you old ghoul!" she yelled at Cologne. Bouncing from rooftop to rooftop she chased after the old beldam, barely able to keep her in sight. Upon reaching the Ramen shop, Ranma-chan carefully dropped herself down to the street, scanning for Cologne. Cautiously, she began to edge towards the door. "Heads up!" yelled Cologne from the rooftop. Ranma-chan had just enough time to look up at Cologne holding a bucket before she was drenched by hot water. "Augh!" Ranma muttered, turning his head to Cologne. "I knew you were up to some. . . hey where did she go?" Ranma searched the rooftop looking for the decrepit little old woman before being kicked in the backside through the Ramen shop door. Cologne stood just behind where Ranma had been standing, smiling in an evil sort of way. Inside, Ranma was greeted by an empty shop, turned down lights, and Shampoo, scantily clad in a light pink lace apron. Shampoo pounced on Ranma, knocking him to the ground. "Hiyah!" Shampoo exclaimed happily. "Shampoo is so happy to see Ranma, it has been a very long time!" Shampoo purred at Ranma. Ranma, in shock, made dumb boy-man noises. Shampoo hugged Ranma close to her, suffocating him in her cleavage. "Ranma happy to see Shampoo?" she asked innocently. Ranma, clearly getting very frustrated, had to put his hands on Shampoo's breasts so he could push his face up for air. "Shampoo!" Ranma gasped. "I told you I'm not interested." Looking hurt, Shampoo climbed off of Ranma, and slowly walked to the window. "Shampoo not look nice enough for you?" "What? No that's not it at all," Ranma began. Shampoo turned around quickly, being sure to bounce in all the right places. Beaming at Ranma, she pointed to a sign on the wall. "See there Ranma? Great Grandma is sponsoring the contest. The winner get to take whoever they want out of all contestants on weekend cruise to Okinawa. You want to win now don't you Ranma?" Shampoo asked sweetly. "Are you competing?" Ranma asked abruptly. "Of course. Shampoo will try very hard to win. Shampoo is looking forward to our cruise," Shampoo said longingly, batting her eyelashes at Ranma. "Yeah, ok, great." Ranma laughed lightly. "Heh, well I gotta get going, I want to get home before it gets too late you know, seeya." Ranma bolted out the door. Cologne stepped out of the shadows, regarding Shampoo for a minute, and then the door where Ranma had left. "Five Thousand years of Chinese Amazon history," she sighed. "I think we got him this time Shampoo." Evil croaking laughter filled the Ramen shop. Back at the Tendo home, Soun, Nabiki, and Genma were sitting around the table. They all bore pale looks of impending doom, as they were all about to eat Akane's cooking. Kasumi entered carrying half of the meal, Akane followed with the rest. After arranging the food on the table, Akane and Kasumi took their seats. Soun glanced over to Genma, who was observing Nabiki. Nabiki quietly sniffed at the aroma of the food, trying to sense anything that might be lethal. "Well?" Akane demanded. "Is anyone going to eat anything?" Soun cleared his throat several times, glancing around the table. "Uh, Saotome, please go ahead," Soun said evenly. "Oh no Tendo, I couldn't. This is your house, you should go first," Genma replied. Soun was starting to sweat at his brow. "Nabiki, please, have some." "Oh no dad, you should really go first," Nabiki replied flatly. "The food is going to get cold," Akane chimed. Soun, sensing defeat, looked down at the small plate in front of him, trying to pick out something that looked both recognisable, and non deadly. The sweat on his brow became quite pronounced. Finally, after several hasty seconds of deliberation, Soun picked up his chopsticks, and nabbed a small piece of food that resembled a spark plug. He brought the chopsticks slowly to his mouth, and all eyes were on him. Taking a breath before tasting the food, Soun said a small prayer in case of death. Then, closing his eyes he took a bite. It took several seconds to convince himself to actually chew. He swallowed, and was pleasantly suprised, he was alive, and no slimy green monster had popped out of his stomach and terrorised Furinkan. He was also suprised that it actually tasted good. "Mmmmmmm! Just like how my grandma used to make it," Soun said proudly, smiling at Akane. Everyone else breathed a sigh of relief, and then cautiously began to eat. The caution was soon left behind as they became absorbed in just how good it was. Just a little too good it seemed. About halfway through the meal, Nabiki noticed that Akane and Kasumi both had flushed cheeks. Kasumi paused as she noticed her vision go fuzzy, and then double. "Akane, how much sake did you use in this?" Kasumi asked happily. "Obviously quite a bit," roared Genma. "Ha ha hahaha hahahahaha hic." "I think I used too much," Akane said sheepishly. She was having a little trouble navigating her chopsticks and got chicken up her nose. "Bah!" Genma said loudly, abandoning his chopsticks in favour of his fingers. Soun was having a little trouble sitting, and fell over in a fit of giggles with a mouthful of rice, spewing it everywhere. The table roared with laughter. Ranma, walking home atop a convenient fence, watched the sun set in the distance. He pondered what exactly Cologne was up to. She wants to send me on that cruise with Shampoo, that is for sure, but what exactly is she planning in order for that to happen. One thing is for sure, Akane is going to have a fit no matter what happens. Yeesh, nothing is scarier. Ranma arrived at the gate to the Tendo home. He slowly walked up to the door, and cautiously entered, fearing an ambush by a still angry Akane. What he saw is what he did not expect, his father passed out on the floor. Through the open door to the north side of the house, he could see Soun passed out in the garden. "Crazy old man," Ranma said quietly. "I think I'll just leave you two be until morning." Ranma turned down the hallway to go to his room. Passing by Kasumi's room, the door was open, and he could see Kasumi, gently spinning around her room with her hairbrush. Ranma paused for a second, and then continued down the hallway. Nabiki's door was closed, as well as Akane's. As he passed by the bathroom, he could hear the shower going. Finally he made it to his room, opened the door and entered. Leaving the light off, he closed the door and layed down on his futon. He was tired, but not sleepy. He heard the shower turn off in the bathroom. Staring at the ceiling, he began to count the well known tiles. Yup, they were all there. He yawned, and was about to roll over when the door to his room opened up. "Huh? what the...," he mumbled, looking up at the door. Lit by the light of the hallway it was hard to make out who it was, but then the door closed, and it was plain to see. Akane stood in front of the door, fresh out of the shower. Ranma was too bewildered to speak or move. Somehow, Akane didn't look to be so uncute and obnoxious anymore. Akane looked radiant, even in the dim light of the room. She slowly walked towards Ranma's futon, and then gently lowered herself and layed front down over Ranma. Ranma could feel a slight dampness to her skin, and her freshly washed hair smelled very nice. She whispered something, Ranma strained to hear it. ". .wish you knew how much," Akane whispered very softly. Ranma was perplexed. What in the world brought this on? he thought to himself. Akane made a happy little sleepy moan. Ranma layed there for several minutes, afraid to move. Then, when Akane seemed to be asleep, he ever so slowly squirmed his way out from underneath her. He reached down to the end of his futon, and pulled a blanket over Akane. He stood there for a moment, watching over her, before silently leaving the room. Standing in the hallway he softly closed the door. He turned around and let out a small yelp. Nabiki was leaning against the wall, wearing her pyjamas. She was vigorously brushing her teeth, a bit of toothpaste froth dribbling down her chin. She seemed to have a glint of some sort in her eye. "Sbo? dib you look?" Nabiki prodded. "Huh, look at what?" Ranma frowned. "Ybou know exactly whbat I mbean Ranba," Nabiki said, hands on her hips . "Ybou can sbay what ybou want tbo Ranba, but tomorrow, Akane ibs goboing to wabke up naked, and in your rboom. Sleep well," Nabiki said cheerfully, retreating to her room. Ranma thought it would be wise to sleep out in the garden. The next morning, Ranma woke up to the sound of Soun cursing lightly to himself. Ranma rolled over to see Soun sitting on the ground, slowly rubbing his forehead. Soun turned around and slowly crawled towards the house, Ranma followed. Once inside, they kneeled down at the table. Genma, already seated, was holding his entire head. "Tendo," Genma said softly. "What does your daughter have against me?" "Why?" asked Ranma. "What happened last night?" "We all ate Akane's kaiseki meal, she used too much sake and we all became rather intoxicated," Soun said slowly. "I'll say," said Nabiki as she walked into the room. She sat down beside Soun, squinting in the morning light. "So Ranma, have you seen Akane this morning?" "Oh yeah," Ranma laughed nervously, "um nope, no sign of her yet." "Good, then I haven't missed anything," Nabiki grinned. Kasumi walked into the room, she smiled weakly at everyone, and then plopped down onto the floor, putting her head down on the table. "Oooooh," she moaned. "I feel terrible." The table sat in silence, everyone indulging in their own self pity, and Ranma very nervous. Genma looked over to Ranma, noticing the look on his face. "Cheer up boy. Akane won't be that upset about you missing supper last night," Genma said encouragingly. "Yeah," chimed Nabiki. "I am sure she won't be upset about that at all." Ranma coughed several times, laughing hesitantly, and then choking as Akane slowly walked into the room, looking very pale. "I'm really sorry for what happened last night everyone," she said softly. "That's allright Akane, it is good to learn from one's mistakes. I am very proud of you," Soun said, smiling at Akane. "Tendo is right Akane, "Genma began. "It is part of the path to being a true martial artist." Akane just stood there, the words bouncing of her. She was looking at Ranma, tears welling up in her eyes. She turned and ran off outside. Soun turned to Ranma. "Have you two been fighting again?" Soun demanded. "Well? Well?" "Boy! I told you Akane would be upset that you missed supper last night! You better go after her," Genma yelled, pointing in the direction Akane left. Ranma sighed and took off after Akane. Once out on the street, Ranma began to search, and tried to figure out what he was going to say if he found her. Ranma finally spotted Akane. She was sitting on a park bench, beneath a large tree. He stooped over to pick a few flowers before approaching her. She didn't even look up at him as he approached. "Yo, Akane. . ," Ranma began. "Go away Ranma," Akane said flatly. Ranma turned to leave, but stopped. "Just hear me out Akane, and then I'll leave." Ranma looked at Akane, but she didn't say anything. "Look, nothing happened that you should be worried or concerned about. You came into my room, and layed down on my bed. I covered you up, and left. I slept out on the lawn beside your father." This didn't seem to be going anywhere. Ranma sat down beside Akane, she still didn't look at him. "Hey Akane, c'mon. I respect you more than you may think." Still no response. The flowers, he thought, use the flowers. "Here, I got these for you, thought maybe they would make you feel better." He held the flowers out to her, noticing that they were slightly squished. Apparently he was more nervous than he thought. He waited for about a minute before she slowly turned her head to look at the flowers. He could tell that she had been crying a lot. She reached out, Ranma flinched, expecting a reverse punch to the head, but she only took the flowers. Ranma watched Akane as she gently arranged the flowers in her hand. "Thank you Ranma," she said quietly. She fiddled with the flowers for a bit, and then selected one, fixing it in her hair. "I'm sorry." "Hey, don't worry," Ranma said, smiling. "C'mon, lets go home." Akane looked up at Ranma, smiling slightly. She nodded, and the two began to walk home together. From across the street, behind a few hedges, Genma and Soun gave each other a high-five. In the garden of the Tendo training hall, a loud commotion filled the air. "Whaddya mean I can't use utensils?" Ranma yelled. "It's a martial arts contest boy," Genma confirmed. "You have to use your martial arts skills to prepare the food." Ranma boggled. He looked over the tempura batter, the vegetables, and meat, then his gaze settled on the large pot of boiling oil. "You have to be kidding me." "C'mon boy!" Genma said loudly. "The path to being a true martial artist means being ready for anything, at any time." "Yeah, you're a real help," Ranma muttered. "Do ya think one day you might start making some sense?" "Bah!" Genma yelled. "How do you plan on taking over the Anything Goes School Of Martial Arts with that attitude? For thousands of years teachers have left their students dumbfounded by useless blather, in hopes that one day the student would be stupid enough to find some sort of wisdom in the words." "Ok, you're so smart, lets see you fish something out of the oil," Ranma rebuked. Genma looked over the pot of boiling oil, and began to sweat a little. He cleared his throat, slowly dipping a leek into the batter, and dropping it into the oil. He watched it sizzle, and swallowed nervously. Then when the leek was finished cooking, he brought his hand over the pot. He took a breath, and with lightning fast speed, he grabbed the battered leek out of the oil. He turned to Ranma, a sly grin on his face. Genma then let out a loud howl, and flipped backwards, all the way across the garden, landing in the pond. Genma, in panda form, splashed around the pond making panda sounds that would one day be translated by scientists as "OOOOoooooouuucccccch!!" "See?" Ranma said in his fathers direction. "This is nuts, there is no way that I can do this." Ranma exhaled, rubbing his forehead in defeat. Nabiki, who was watching, came over and looked at Ranma. "I think you should try it in girl form, you are much faster that way." Said Nabiki from behind Ranma. "No way! I am not voluntarily becoming a girl ever again!" Ranma said loudly. "Fine, have it your way Ranma," Nabiki smiled. She brought out a bucket of cold water she had behind her back and drenched him. "Now that you have involuntarily become a girl, you might as well try." "Why dya do that?" Ranma-chan fumed. "Because, Ranma, "Nabiki said calmly. "Believe it or not, I have more faith in your abilities than Akane's. Now, are you going to see if you can do this or not?" Ranma-chan glanced up at Nabiki, looking for a single sign of sincerity in her eyes. Seeing none, she smiled crookedly. Rolling up her sleeves, Ranma-chan turned back to the pot of oil. She selected a leek and dipped it in the batter, and dropped it in the oil. Both Nabiki and Ranma-chan watched it cook. Then, it was done. Ranma-chan concentrated, and raised her right hand. "YAAAHH!!" Ranma-chan yelled as she plunged her hand into the oil and retrieved the leek and placed it on a plate. Ranma-chan paused and blinked a few times before leaping across the garden. "Yahooo!!! I did it! I can believe I did it! hahaha!" Ranma-chan bounced around happily. Nabiki sighed as she passed a small wad of money to the Panda. It was the day of the contest. Many people milled about in the Furinkan community centre where the contest was being held. Outside the large building, a line of contestants was forming. Ramna-chan and Akane stood at the back of the line, each holding a large sack of ingredients and wares for the contest. Akane, dressed in her gi, was a sharp contrast to Ranma-chan's skimpy tank top and shorts. "Do you think you could have worn something a little more appropriate Ranma?" Akane chided, leaning on a short fence beside the line. "Well, you know what they say," Ranma-chan began. "When you've got it, you've got it. And I got it." Ranma-chan smiled briefly, and began to frown as an all too familiar voice filled the air. "Pig-tailed girl! And Akane Tendo! What a suprise! I am deeply honoured that you would save a spot in the line for me." Kunou smiled proudly. " I know it is destiny that I shall win this contest, like the rains of spring , and that you two beautiful girls will serve me fruit and massage my toes on my island cruise.." "Give it a rest Kunou," Akane exhaled, rolling her eyes to the sky. "My my Pig-tailed girl, you look radiant like some mystical mountain peaks on an early summers day," Kunou said, his eyes glued to Ranma-chan's bustline. Ranma-chan eyed Kunou for a second before speaking "Hey Kunou, there is a bug on your face." "What? Where?" Kunou asked. "Right there!" Ranma-chan yelled as she punched Kunou between the eyes, knocking him over the fence and into the hedges. The line surged ahead as the contest door opened. Ranma-chan and Akane were directed to their reserved spots on the floor. Interestingly enough, Shampoo was set up right beside Ranma-chan. Kunou was directly across from Ranma-chan and Akane. The contestants eagerly set up their equipment and ingredients, as the judges walked around informing everyone about the rules. Ranma-chan sighed as she finished setting up. She looked up as she heard someone new nearby. "Hey Ranma!" Ukyo smiled as she set up. She was right beside Kunou, across from Shampoo. "Hey Ukyo," Ranma-chan said softly, looking over at Akane. Akane was glaring at Shampoo. Shampoo was glaring at Ukyo, and Ukyo was glaring at Akane. Great, thought Ranma-chan, I better say something. "Hey Kunou, what meal are you making?" Kunou coughed a few times and looked around cautiously. "I am, err, making the traditional Kunou school of Kendo...." Kunou paused for a second. "Boiled egg on toast." "What?!" boggled Akane. "That is hardly traditional." "It is not the essence of the meal itself, but the tradition and technique that goes into the preparation that is important," Kunou said softly. "Now if you will excuse me, I will leave briefly to regain my pride." Kunou, tears streaming down his face from Akane's harsh words, stood up and went to the washroom. "I am making okonomiyaki, of course," smiled Ukyo. "Let me guess, Shampoo is making Ramen," muttered Akane. "You smart girl," chimed Shampoo. She then turned to Ranma-chan and purred softly. Ranma-chan looked to the ceiling and sighed. She was about to say something when she noticed a small person dressed in a greed robe standing in front of her. "Where did you come from you old fossil?" Ranma-chan demanded. "Son in law, you don't think I would sponsor a contest like this and not participate? I am judging the competition of course." "What?" Akane ,Ranma-chan, and Ukyo yelled in unison. "Yes of course, it says so on that sign," Cologne said matter of factly, pointing up. Akane, Ranma-chan and Ukyo looked over the sign. While their attention was diverted, Cologne sprinkled some strange powder on Akane's ingredients. Shampoo reached over and sprinkled some powder on Ukyo's ingredients. Shampoo and Cologne winked at each other. "Well, I had better get to the judges table, good luck to all of you," Cologne croaked. She laughed as she walked away. "I don't like this one bit," muttered Ranma-chan. "The old bag is up to something." "Not like her little bratty grand daughter would ever tell us," Akane muttered back. "Something wrong Akane?" Ukyo asked. "Oh, she always like that," Shampoo said. "Big temper and hips is very bad." Ukyo laughed at the remark. Akane was clearly getting upset. "You have a problem, pizza girl?" Akane demanded, her fists clenched. "See, what I tell you?" Shampoo chimed. "Shut up little miss noodle!" Akane yelled. The three girls glared at each other, mental daggers flying. Ranma-chan cowered, trying not to get hit if any physical fighting began. Kunou returned, his composure regained. Just as he sat down the loudspeakers came on, announcing that the competition was about to start. Ranma-chan looked into the crowd, saw his father, and the Tendo's sitting in the front row. She glanced over to Akane. "Good luck Akane," Ranma-chan whispered. Akane only nodded, her attention on the task ahead of her. Then the contest began. The contest floor was a frenzy of activity. Ukyo used her fingernails to slice up cabbage, Shampoo mixed her broth with one foot while fashioning noodles with the other, and Kunou dropped an egg into boiling water. Ranma-chan concentrated on her batter, wishing her father would stop yelling so loud from the stands. Akane moved efficiently, preparing her ingredients at an amazing speed. Soon the smells of cooking food wafted through the centre. Stomachs growled. Cologne sat at the judges table. She smiled whimsically, That ancient Chinese amazon spice we put into Akane and Ukyo's ingredients will make their meals taste so bad, they will lose for sure. I have enough influence to make sure my Shampoo wins. Again she croaked an evil laugh. Kunou was bored. He watched his egg boil and sighed. He hadn't noticed his clothes were a little to close to the gas flame he was using to heat the water until he felt a burning sensation. Yelling at the top of his lungs he jumped up and began to flail around. He stepped out of his zone and into Akane's, stomping madly. Akane's eyes grew wide as she watched all her hard work be destroyed. Kunou, still on fire, continued on his rampage, knocking over Ukyo's batter, and Shampoo's ramen. Finally he tipped over Ranma-chan's' ingredients as he beat the flames out. The floor was a big mess. Others in the contest had all stopped and watched the spectacle. Akane was watching the mess. It was growing. "Ahh!" She said aloud. "Look! it's moving!" All five of them watched the mess move and grow into some kind of creature. All the other contestants began to panic. Cologne was aghast. She had never realised that particular capability of the ancient spice she had used. The creature was fully formed now, it had only taken a few seconds. It was horrible. It looked like a giant squid, covered in noodles. It took a terrifying step towards Akane. "I'll save you!" Yelled Kunou, drawing his wooden sword. He charged the beast, but the creature countered, sending Kunou flying. The creature then turned on Ukyo and Shampoo. Shampoo took up a defensive posture, and gave the creature a three day moon crescent kick as it approached. Ukyo whacked at the monster with her flipper. The monster shrugged off the attack, and shot forth streams of noodles that tied up both Ukyo and Shampoo. Akane and Ranma-chan attacked the monster from the other side. Both delivering kicks, and punches as hard as they could. "Ugg!" Yelled Ranma-chan. "We aren't having any affect!" Akane spotted Kunou's boiling egg. "Here!" She yelled as she tossed the water on Ranma-chan. "YEEEOOOOWWCHH!!!" Ranma yelled. He looked a little pink, but he was a guy none the less. "Allright!" He scowled, and leapt at the monster, sending blow after blow. The monster swung about, tossing Ranma to the side. "Ranma!" Akane yelled, running to his side. "Are you ok?" "No, but I will survive," Ranma replied, slowly getting to his feet. "Ranma!" Yelled Genma from the stands. "Use the dual sidewinder spinning scythe attack!" "You don't mean.." Began Soun. "Yes, it is the super secret move of the Anything Goes School Of Martial Arts." Genma said sternly. Back in the fray, Ranma and Akane were giving themselves some space. "You ready Akane?" Ranma asked. Akane Nodded, and grabbed his hands. Ranma began to spin Akane around as they yelled in unison. "Dual sidewinder spinning scythe attack!" With that, Ranma and Akane became extensions of each others body. Acting like a weapon that gives a little extra punch at the point of impact, Ranma swung Akane around in an arc as they approached the monster, Akane giving a thrust kick with each orbit. The monster faltered, letting out sounds of pain and anguish as it was beat back into nothing but compost. As the dust settled, Genma and the rest of the Tendo family stood around Akane and Ranma. "Boy, I am proud," smiled Genma. "You and Akane worked together and defeated the monster." "Yes, it is amazing what can be accomplished when you cooperate," said Soun softly. Akane nodded softly before turning and heading for home. She felt cheated and upset about what had happened, and thought a shower and bath were in order. Ranma watched Akane leave and noticed Cologne approaching. "What do you want now?" Ranma asked angrily. "Well, I would say you won this contest son in law," Cologne said. "Here," she held up a small envelope. "The cruise tickets are in here, do what you want with them." Ranma took the envelope and nodded. * * * It was the end of another day out at sea. Soun and Genma sat at a table playing a game of Go. Nabiki and Kasumi were splashing around in the ships pool, and the sounds of the sea filled the air. "This is the life eh Tendo?" Genma sighed. Soun only hummed aloud as he looked over the board. "Hey! Look at that, it's an orange seagull! Genma yelled, pointing at the sky. "What? Where! Where is it!" Soun scanned the sky not paying attention to Genma, who was switching pieces around on the board. At the stern of the ship, Akane leaned against the railing watching the sun set against the mirror like sea. The wind blew softly, billowing her skirt slightly, and moving through her hair. She was deep in thought, absorbed in the perfect serenity of the scene. Ranma approached from behind. He stood beside Akane for awhile, then placed his hand on her back. He didn't say anything, just looked out over the sea. Akane felt her heart race, and then she relaxed. She smiled inwardly and rested her head on Ranma's shoulder. Closing her eyes, she inhaled the air and promised to never forget that moment. THE END D.D.Doll. *Authors note: This story is meant to be read as an visual tv episode. My writing background stems from script writing for television and film. Although this story is not in a screenplay format, it is one of my first public attempts at prose. Don't take it too seriously, cause I don't :)