In the words of Azusa Shiratori, "Here we go again!!!"

	OtakuNXS presents:

		Ecchi Muyo or No Need for Perverts
		part 2

	Soun comptemplated his tea cup, his mind wandering to the edge of
existence.  Somewhere in that deep porcelian, there was a world just for
him.  A world where he could be happy.  What Soun was NOT comptemplating
was the angry man in front of him.

	"You've GOT to do something Tendo-san!  Last night was the worse it's
ever been.  Forty seperate house, all completely robbed of female
undergarmets."  The man was red in the face, he hated losing his cool in
front of Tendo-san, who always seemed so calm and collected.

	Perhaps in the next life I'll be a farmer, yes, that's it.  Just a
simple farmer with no dojo, no freeloaders, no master, just me and some
potatoes.

	"Please, Tendo-san, I know you don't have the best track record but
your the only patsey...errrrr panty...errrrr person, we can count on!"

	Calmly, Soun set his tea cup down.  "I shall see what I can do. It is,
after all, a martial artist's duty!"  Maybe when this was over he could
turn his dojo into a resturaunt.

	"Arigato Tendo-sama!" With that, the man left, wiping his forehead and
feeling reassured.  Soun's confident way always had the effect of making
everything seem alright.  Whislting, he opened the door, let in the
midget carrying the huge sack and screaming,"What a haul!", and walked
home.

	Ranma walked downstairs to find his father trying to reassure a sobing
Soun, as well as eating the lunch that Tendo-san was too upset to
consume.  "What's his problem?  Did Nabiki threaten to foreclose again?"

	Kasumi walked in carrying a plate of cookies for her upset father,
which Genma quickly consumed  "I don't know, he's been like this for an
hour now.  He keeps mumbling something about potatoe's or he could be
saying panties."

	Upstairs, Happosai counted out his silky darlings.  "Hmmmmm, seems to
have been an awfull lot of trouble just to get a full bag today." 
Musing over the possible repurcussions of this he turned to place his
hoard with the rest of his stash.

	Slowly, he lit his pipe, someone was definatly up to something, he
thought.  He had been forced to search for hours to find his current
haul.  Who could possibly be beating HIM to the pinch...errrr punch?  He
was startled out of his musings(told ja he mused) by a crash from
downstairs.

	"What the...?  Oh Ukyo, is something wrong?"  Ranma looked at his
childhood friend.  Something was definatly up, she had crashed through
the door and was now violently searching...i.e. with the buisness end of
a kick ass spatula...the house.  

	"Oh Ukyo, will you be staying for dinner?" asked Kasumi as Ukyo tore
down a wall leading to the living room.

	"Where ARE you, you little freak!!!"

	"What's with all the noise, I'm trying to study.  Uh, what's wrong with
her?"  Akane's voice softened as she saw Ukyo leap the stairs and
confort her.

	"Don't just stand there, help me find the little pervert!"  With a yell
she kicked down a door and began searching feverously. 

	"Ranma, would you mind terribly talking to your friend before she
levels the place!" Akane said this with clenched teeth, and even more
importantly, clenched hammer.
  
  	What was with her, Ranma thought.  He'd never seen her so pissed,
this destruction was Shampoo's forte, not Uu-chan's.  Thinking about the
fiercness of Ukyo's battle aura Ranma walked up the stairs and through
the hole leading to Nabiki's room.  

	Without looking up from her notebook, she pointed out the hole at the
opposite end.  Sighing, he walked through the new hole, just catching
Nabiki's "Five thousand yen plus repairs Saotome, or you know the
drill."

	Sighing even more at the thought of his soon to be upcoming fashion
show, he approached the remains of a trashed room.  Ukyo sat in the
middle, her spatula tossed to the side and her battle aura back to
normal.  She seemed to be crying.

	"What happened Uu-chan?" he stiffened slightly as she slammed into him
in a tight embrace.  After a quick check to see if Akane was watching,
he comforted his old friend.

	"Ran-chan, he took my underwear."

	"Is that all, he takes people's underwear all the time, that's nothing
to get this upset over.  I'll make him give them back."  He brushed
Ukyo's hair out of her face and smiled confidently to her.

	"You don't understand, he took ALL of it.  But that's not why I'm so
upset."

	Reader settles in for a flashback sequence.

	Ukyo fliped a okonomiyaki to a hungry customer who accepted it hungrily
while she settled into her nightly rythme.  The scrap of her spatulas on
the grill and the sound of costumers munching happily bringing her a few
moments of inner peace.

	Suddenly, a dark shadow crashed through the window of the resturaunt. 
The blur never seemed to slow down as it steped lightly on a table, and
sliped heavily on a squashed okonomiyaki.  Rolling with the fall, the
figure hid underneath a table.

	"Ummmm, hello, can I help you?" Ukyo asked a trifle miffed, smashing
through her window was one thing, killing a perfectly good okonomiyaki
was something else.  

	Daisuke simply sighed and grabbed one of Hiroshi's pancakes.  Neither
one bothered to look under their table at the newcomer, nor were they
the least bit surprised when maniacal laughter started coming from
beneath them.  

	"Clever girl, setting that trap for me, but it will avail you not.  Not
against the Wraith of Happosai!"

	"Oh," Ukyo sighed, "it's you Happosai, I really don't have the time to
beat the ever loving crude out of you.  Can you come back later?"

	"Yes it is I, Happosai and you shall feel my wraith!" with that, the
blur speed out from under the stock character's table and leapt past
Ukyo.  Stepping on the grill, he shreiked in pain and the blur crashed
through the door leading to the back rooms. 

	"Ow, ow, ow, how dare you woman.  How dare you burn the great
Happosai!" said an enraged voice.  Realizing the voice was coming from
her bedroom, the martial artist/short order(as long as your order is
okonomiyaki) cook ran to save her undies from perversion.

	Hiroshi sniffled and began munching on his last pancake.  He was on the
last bite when an explosion shot Ukyo out the door and slammed her into
the grill.  Daisuke shoke his head slightly as he watched her stand up.

	"Hey Happosai, that hurt!" she yelled as she unsheathed her kick ass
spatula.

	"Ha, ha, that's what you get for challenging the will of..."

	"Happosai!" Hiroshi and Daisuke finished in unison.

	"Now," said Ukyo as she calmly went through a few practice swings with
her massive moument to cooking and bludgeoning,"I'm going to have to
hurt you!"

	With a yell she charged back through the door.  Hiroshi and Daisuke
began to put their coats on.  Then a HUGE explosion actually shocked
them out of their "been there done that" stupor.  Once again Ukyo came
hurtling through the door, this time she crashed though the grill,
through a set of tables and smashed into the two young boys.

	"Ow, what the..." Ukyo stammered out as she tried to stay concious. 

	Then a voice rang through her ears, "Founding School of Anything Goes
Martial Arts Hentai Attack, Panty Vaccum!"  Ukyo felt her underwear
being tore off as she lapsed into oblivion.

	"Very tragic indeed!" Happosai intoned as the reader was ripped out of
"now that I think back" and "remember when..." land.  

	"You, you used your battle aura on her didn't you you old freak. Well
why don't you try that with me!"  Ranma charged at the venerable eechi
with a snarl.  

	Happosai caught the extended punch with his pipe and flung him through
the roof, "Damn, he's gotten fast!" they both thought in unison.

	"Ran-chan!" Ukyo yelled.  Using Happosai as a spring board, she jumped
after Ranma.  They both landed somewhat gracefully on the Tendo's roof.

	"Ran-chan, are you ok?" 

	"Yeah, just a little flustered," Ranma winced as Ukyo felt for any
bumps, "I can't believe I fell for that!  Still, the old man's going
down for this, I can't believe he'd use a powerfull technique like that
without any need!"

	"That's because I didn't my boy."  Ranma and Ukyo turned to see
Happosai smoking peacefully a few feet away.  "Think, when's the last
time you saw me attack a girl, grope yes, but never attack.  I have my
honor."

	"Yea right, you just can't concetrate on anything besides their
breasts!"  Ranma began to walk towards the freak, his anger still
seething.

	"Ranma, how dare you, and how dare you suspect your poor sweet master
of such a thing." Happosai cried as tears welled up in his eyes.
"I would never hurt Ukyo and I would never tear the panties off her
body."

	"Wait a sec Ran-chan," Ukyo said as she got between the two,"but I saw
your battle aura, and that fighting style."

	"Did you see his face?"  Happosai begged as he grabbed, then gropped
Ukyo's hand.

	"Actually, no." stated Ukyo while backhanding the dimunitive figure
down through the ceiling.  "But who else fights like that and looks like
a giant Happosai when using their battle aura?" asked Ukyo as she turned
to Ranma.

	Before Ranma could answer he was gooshed by a frantic and incredibly
well endowed figure.  Goosh indeed, thought Ranma, his temperature
rising steadily, Shampoo was busting out all over.  

	"Ranma, so scary, freak stole all underwear," Shampoo said frantically,
"Now I no have anythings on underneath, haiya."  That last was whispered
seductively in Ranma's ear causing him to wish, ever so slightly, "that
this was a lemon."

	<SMASH> "Your unbelievable!" shrieked Akane as she punctuated with her
hammer, the ladder she had climbed up still peeking through the hole in
the ceiling.

	"What'da I do, she's the one who grabbed me!"  Ranma backed up from the
hammer weilding girl.

	"I saw, but the author accidently put your thoughts into quotes!" she
yelled as she began chasing him around the roof.

	"So he got you too?" Ukyo asked the Amazon as they watched Akane chase
Ranma.  "By the way, where's Mousse, I figured he'd be over here blaming
Ran-chan."

	Shampoo simply shrugged.  "He only one there when freak attack.  Now he
just lie on bed, saying too too big Happosai."

	Stupid writer, can't get a decent writing program so he can grammer
check, thought Ranma as he dodged Akane who was steadily gaining.  Then
a small shruken face appeared, stopping both him and Akane cold.

	"And what do you plan to do about all this son-in-law?" Cologne asked,
propped up high on her staff.  "I had just gotten used to the things and
now all my lingerie is gone."

	"Lingerie?" Part of Ranma's mind conjured up an image that the rest of
his mind promptly crunched up and threw away.  Then the rest of his mind
started hunting down the rebel part...with torches...and picks...and
shotguns.
      
	While part of Ranma's mind ran screaming from the mental horde, a
thought broke from the mob and surfaced.  "Wait a sec...sure, when the
freak's not thinking straight, like in the middle of a fight, he's
snagged at one of your bras, but to actually go out of his way to steal
YOUR unmentionables?  I mean talk about your UNMEnTIONABLES!"

	Akane let her hammer go back into sub-space and watched as Cologne beat
Ranma about the face and chest.  He's right, she thought, and going in a
blowing up everything isn't really his style either.  He always sneaks
in first and doesn't start broadcasting his catch until after he's
secured the panties.     

	"Poor, defensless Shampoo, you've been attacked by this imposter as
well, let me comfort you in your time of need." cried a bounding
Happosai as he leapt towards the "poor, defenseless" Amazon.

	On the other side of town, a bueatiful man with cold blue eyes and long
black hair began to laugh sinisterly.  He had graduated at top of his
class for sinister laugh, not to mention being voted most likley to go
out for a sinister revenge on very short martial artists. Now he was
using all the skills that had won him first prize at the Mr. Sinister
Talent Competion.(No it was not held in honor of some stupid X-man
villian, shut up and read!)

	"You shall suffer Happosai, you'll never find out who it is causing you
all this pain.  I shall strike out at you from the shadows and you shall
know terror.  Seek me out, freak, you shall not find a trace of the man
who has framed you.  You shall never find my secret...<faint Hiaya in
the distance><CRASH>!" 

	The small hentai missle crashed through the ceiling and slammed into
the shojo boy's head, smashing him down through the floor.  

	Happosai regained his composure, lit his pipe, and looked down at who
or what he had hit.  "Oh, hello there Takui, I thought it was you."

	"You did not," Takui yelled as he pulled himself out of the hole,
"besides, it will avail you not for no one will beleive such an evil,
lecherous fiend as yourself.  You'll never be able to prove your
innocense for I am far too clever, far too sinis... <faint BAKA in the
distance><CRASH>!"

	Happosai sighed and helped Ranma up from the now six foot deep hole in
the floor.  "Ranma my boy, meet Takui, I'm afraid he's the one causing
all the trouble around here."

	"Ha, tell him what you like, where's your proof?" Takui snarled as he
attempted to approach Happosai.  THIS time the approach was halted as
his foot slipped on a pair of cotten undies.  He had enough time to see
the seemingly smirking face of Usagi on the back of the panties before
he landed with a silky thud! (less painfull then a silky crunch but no
less embarassing)

	Ranma gaped at the second largest pile of panties he would ever see in
his life.  Then he got mad, everthing that had happened to him today
could be traced back to this ecchi, not that today was any worse then
any other day.  Rarely did he get the chance to actively smash the cause
of his woes.  Grinning to himself and cracking his knuckles he
approached the new found scape goat, this was gonna be veeerrryyy
therapudic.

	Then he hit the ground, Takui was calling up his battle aura and was
already growing to giant proportions.  Ranma steadied himself, he COULD
beat this guy, he just knew it.

	"My name is Ranma Saotome, you stole my friends panties, prepare to
die!" 

	Takui assumed a fighting stance, turned his head slightly and
then...pulled a Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts Secret
Technique.  For those who haven't read the Breaking Point stories of the
Manga, he ran like hell.

	Ranma facefaulted.  Unfortunately, he was facing the hole his and
Happosai's landings had created and ended up seemingly diving face first
into the six foot pit.   

	"You ok my boy." Ranma woke up from lala land to the sound of
Happosai's voice, and the feel of Happosai's pipe smaking into his
skull.

	"Ow, stop that." Ranma slowly got up and surveyed the scene.  The room
was empty save for him, Happosai and the third largest pile of panties
he had ever seen.  Someone had been picking through it and had already
selected some souvineers.  Then he remembered the fight, or lack there
of.  "Hey where'd that guy get off to and who the hell was he anyway. 
Out with it old man, you seemed to know each other."

	Looking up from his scaveging Happosai nodded slowly.  "Of course I
know him, he's my son!"

	The reader shakes his head, oh REAL original, a son looking for
vengance, like we haven't see that befo...then the reader's mind adds up
some sums, carries the two and realizes...if that's his son, then at
some time in his life, SOMEONE SLEPT WITH HAPPOSAI!!!

	The reader facefaults again.

End part 2

	Uh, you guys alright, that looked like it hurt  
	Take five everyone, C&C 'em if you got 'em