It had to happen...

THE FFML SPAM DRINKING GAME!

(Yes, I realize that Spam is a solid substance and you can't drink it;
bear with me a little here.)

HOW TO PLAY: Accumulate the previous 24 hours worth of Fanfiction
Mailing List posts on your hard drive or mainframe account. Go through
the day's postings with copious quantities of alcohol at the ready. Note
that where it asks you to respond to the poster, do so by private E-mail
unless otherwise specified.

DISCLAIMER: I, the author, am not opposed to FFML spam; in fact, I have
been and am a major participant in it. I myself have done many of the
things listed here. This is just for fun, do not take it seriously
please.

Further submissions welcomed!

If a subscribe or unsubscribe request is sent to the list: 2 drinks.

If a test message is sent, 3 drinks.
... if it starts out, "I know I'm not supposed to send test messages,
but...", add 2 drinks.

If someone posts a message asking for a particular fic to the list,
instead of E-mailing the author, 1 drink.
... if the story is in the RAAC archives, add 2 drinks.
... if the poster obviously knew who the author was, add 2 drinks.
... if the poster knew the author's E-mail address, add 3 drinks.
... if the poster is asking for installments of a fic that haven't been
written yet, add 2 drinks.

If someone asks for all messages sent after a certain time, 5 drinks and
mail them the part of the FAQ that explains how to use the archive
remailer.

If a question is asked to the readers, 1 drink.
... if the question has nothing to do with anime, manga, or fanfiction,
add 2 drinks.
... if the question was "Who is the best babe for Ranma?", chug.

If a response to a question is posted,
... and the question's posters had asked for responses via private
E-mail, 3 drinks.
... if someone didn't know the answer but decided to post a response
anyway, 3 drinks.
... if an incorrect response is posted, 2 drinks and post the correct
answer.
... if the question has already been answered five (or more) times, 2
drinks.

If a reply to someone's private E-mail is posted to the list, 3 drinks
and send an E-mail the poster explaining his or her mistake.
... if a reply to your E-mail is then posted to the list, chug.

If politics, religion, or some other equally controversial non-animanga
topic is discussed, 5 drinks.

If someone calls for people to stop writing certain kinds of fics, 5
drinks.

If someone asks for discussion on a certain topic to stop, 3 drinks.
... if said discussion had already stopped, add 4 drinks.

If a chain letter or commercial solicitation is posted, chug and hunt
down the poster.

If someone complains about too much spam, 3 drinks.

If someone posts a drinking game about spam, 10 drinks and send money to
the poster to help him mend his misguided ways.

Gary Kleppe
kleppe@execpc.com, Home page http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe
My fanfics and the FFML map are on my comics/manga page,
       http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics