Miyuki-Chan

Deeper Meaning

     Miyuki sat in the cafeteria.  Her books were at her side; she did not have any
food.  She is wearing a Japanese school uniform.
     A boy comes up to her with some noodles in a cup, eating as he goes.  He too, is
dressed in a school uniform.
     "What's wrong, Miyuki-chan?", says the boy as he takes the chair across from
Miyuki.  They are alone.
     "huh?"
     "You've been pensive for the past few days.  Something must be bothering you,
you can't hide this stuff from me, we've been best friend since primary school!",  he said
as he finished the rest of his noodles.
     "Well," Miyuki began, not looking at her friend," Yoshi, I've been having a
reoccurring dream and it's starting to bug me...".
     "I've read a few books on dream interpretation, maybe I could help.  Share your
feelings."
     "Well, It's kinda hard to say, parts I have trouble remembering  and others are
not exactly things I'd want anyone to know..."
     "OK, now you've grappled my curiosity; you have to tell me now."
     "Well, OK, but promise you won't breath a word of this ANYONE!"
     "My lips are sealed."
     <Insert in here all the contents of "Miyuki-Chan in Wonderland" available via
A.D. Vision.>
     "... and then the Queen grabs me with her whip, and then I wake up!", Miyuki
refocuses on Yoshi, only to realize that Yoshi has his head down, supported by his hands
which are resting on the table.  He appears to be grinding his palms into his forehead
and grinding his teeth.
     "Yoshi?  What is it?  Oh!  You think I'm a pervert don't you!"
     Yoshi rights himself to a proper sitting position.  "No, no, Miyuki-chan, your not
a pervert.  We all have weird dreams occasionally and there is nothing we can do to
control it, however, I am picking up some things in that dream that you may not want
to hear."
     "What!? Like what!?"
     "Well, first of all there is one principle of dream analysis I think you should
know: that all the people in your dreams are YOU, or some part of your psyche. 
Dreams take place in the subconscious, and only facets of you inhabit it, though you may
not be consciously aware of their existence."
     "What!?  I couldn't be the Queen!"
     " I never said you were, I just said that some part of you is like the Queen.  And
there are other things; for instance, did you notice that all of the inhabitants of this little
dreams seemed to be-how can I put this lightly?-drivers of the big rig?"
     "Are you saying I'm a lesbian?!", Miyuki almost shouted.
     "Don't put words in my mouth.  But look at this, did not each new character ask
you to identify yourself?  Weren't you constantly repeating, 'My name is Miyuki.'?  I
think maybe your subconscious is telling you to redefine yourself."
     "But I resisted!  I didn't DO anything!"
     "Yes, the conscious side of you suppressed the efforts of your more subconscious
parts."
     "But I can't be gay!  I don't have time for this!  I have to study!  I have to get
into college!"
     "But what will you do after college?  Marry a man and have children?  What
kind of job would you want?  Do you even want a job?"
     Miyuki paused.  "Well, I never thought that far.  My parents were always just
pushing me to get into a good college."
     "That's another thing I saw in your dream: running in circles; a lack of
direction."
     Miyuki has nothing to say.
     Yoshi continues, "And weren't you playing a game of strip-chess against yourself? 
A lose-lose situation?  Wouldn't you also be in a lose-lose situation if you were gay?  If
you came out of the closet, you would crush your parent's hearts, if you didn't you'd be
miserably living a lie."
     Miyuki was looking down, appearing to be listening, but distant.
     "Look, some extracurricular reading is not going to take the place of a
professional.  I think you should talk to someone about this.  No matter what happens,
we'll always be friends.  Besides, It's not like you would have to start sleeping with other
women.  I haven't dated a member of the opposite sex in my secondary school life either,
and I'll probably be single for life.  I'm content with that.  I'd be happy sitting by a
computer the rest of my life programming (video games), and having only friends to
spend my leisure with.  Not every one finds a companion in life."
     "I think I'd like to be alone now."
     " I understand.", Yoshi gets up to leave, "But remember when you saw that
butterfly girl.  You thought about how beautiful she was and that maybe not everyone in
that strange world was out to get you."  Yoshi slowly walked away.
     Miyuki pushed her chair out, so as to lean over and look at her feet.  She glanced
up for a moment to see the student body finish lunch.  As the bell rang, she began to
cry.

No end.

hayesman@webspan.net

Note from author:
  C&C needed.  Please drop a line if your read it, weather you had an opinion or not, it
would just be a nice thing to do.
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"Miyuki-Chan in Wonderland" is copyrighted by CLAMP.  This is not a publication,
fabrication or use of the said character.  It is a totally different Miyuki.