Given that our resident Jedi is so skilled in the ways of the
Shwartz, I think this (albeit slightly SPAMMY) is fitting...

Is Your Jedi Knight a Redneck?

Your Jedi Knight Might Be a Redneck If...

(1) - if he uses his lightsaber to cut the bottlecap off a beer

(2) - if he says "these are not the beers you're looking for" 

(3) - if that "Disturbance in the Force" was just last night's baked beans
and spare ribs

(4) - if the inside of the house looks more like Dagobah than the outside

(5) - if he calls his young apprentice, "Hoss." 

(6) - if he ever uses telekinesis to pull his jeans up

(7) - if the Force isn't the only thing that runs in the family

(8) - if he calls Hank Williams "master" 

(9) - if his landspeeder has a gun rack

(10) - if he meditiates to old Elvis Presley records

(11) - if he calls Yoda his Li'l green buddy. 

(12) - if he has ever said, "Anger... fear...agression... Yankees... the
dark side are they." 

(13) - if his X-Wing has a still in it

(14) - if his lightsaber has a beer can crusher in the base

(15) - if there is more oil in his robes than in his astromech droid

(16) - if his robes have the Golden Flour label on them

(17) - if he trims his beard and finds a Mynock in it

(18) - if he has ever used a lightsaber to light the barbecue grill

(19) - if the Jawas tell him to take a bath, please

(20) - if he fights with a lightsaber in one hand and a spit cup in the
other

(21) - if he uses a Jedi mind trick to stop the beer truck

(22) - if he uses his Jedi healing powers to clear up his VD

	My thanks to our Redneck gaijin, Kris Overstreet, who put this
list together, and from whom I leached it. Hi, Kris!

	Bert.. Put down that lightsaber Bert... Ahhh Bert?! 

	Help?

	Ed Becerra

	Quick! Somebody get Nene! Or Hitomi! Help!!!

	"Dreamers may die, but the dream is eternal..."