(Scene:  Scott's apartment.  Akane is doing isometric exercises 
while Scott types on the computer.  The door opens, and Ranma enters 
dragging Ryouga.)

Ranma:  Hey everybody, look who I found wandering in the Sculpture 
Garden! 

Akane:  Ryouga!  I'm so glad to see you!

Ryouga:  Um h-hi Akane.  The snow around here sure is deep!  A-heh.  
(Doing his usual embarrassed bit.)

Scott:  Hi, pull up a cushion.

Akane:  You're just in time!  Scott's finally gotten the fight 
choreography and dialogue from Blade, so the latest chapter of Worse is 
ready to go.

Ryouga:  Worse?

Ranma:  One of Scott's fanfics.  The premise is that I made a stupid wish 
that I wasn't engaged to any girls.  Apparently as a result, I woke up in 
a world where I was born female.

Ryouga:  Really?  So you're female all the time?  (Thinks) At last Akane 
can be mine! 

Ranma:  Yep.  But don't get your hopes up, if you know what I mean.  In 
this world, I'm engaged to you!

Ryouga:  Gak!

Akane:  Along with a few other boys.  But apparently you were the 
favorite, until male Ranma's mind found itself in born-female Ranma's 
body. 

Ryouga:  But at least I don't--um...

Akane:  Oh the P-chan curse, I'm afraid that's still on.  Ranma's little 
brother Hikaru (who has the Drowned Girl Curse) accidentally bumped you 
in. 

Ryouga:  This is all your fault, Ranma!  If you hadn't had a little 
bro--(doubletakes)  You KNOW?

Akane:  Sure!  I read the previous chapters of the story after all.  But 
we all go back to status quo once we leave the "real world", so don't 
worry. 

Ranma:  Anyhow, you, me, Hikaru and Akane were all at the Tendou Dojo and 
I was trying to get my brother to apologize for the pig thing without 
telling him exactly what he'd done.  But we were interrupted by Mousse, 
who's another of my unwanted fiances.  He's still half-blind, so 
naturally he grabbed Hostage Girl here instead.

Akane:  Hey!

Ranma:  So like always, I guess it's up to me to rescue her...


				WORSE
			by Scott K. Jamison
	with fight choreography and dialogue by special guest Blade!
			(Takahashi disclaimer)
	Chapter Seven:  In Which There Is a Big Fight Scene

	Ranma blinked in surprise.  How did she do it?  Even a world 
away, Akane still managed to get herself captured.  Then the realization 
of her danger cut through the sense of absurdity. 
	"AKANE!" she yelled as she ran out the door. 
	She heard a cry of "RANMA!" behind her from Ryouga.  No time to 
wait for him or Hikaru to catch up. 
	The good news was that Mousse wasn't even trying to conceal his 
progress, jumping from roof to roof with Akane, none too gently carrying 
her either.  Then the Chinese boy dropped to street level, and stopped at 
an intersection. 
	Ranma caught up, noting the spectacless Mousse looked confused 
and Akane looked dazed.  She prepared to attack.  "All right, you--"
	Mousse turned around in roughly her direction.  "Excuse me, is 
this Ookami Street?"  Ranma facefaulted.
	As she got up, Ranma noted Ryouga and Hikaru arriving.  Mousse 
might be half-blind, but he wasn't stupid.  He took a step back to get a 
better defensive position.
	Ranma shifted into an aggressive posture.  "Let her go, Mousse."
	"I think not.  Ranma is to become *my* bride," sniffed the Hidden 
Weapons expert. 
	"That's not Ranma..." snarled Ryouga, "and you're not taking 
anybody as long as I'm here, *especially* Ranma!" 
	Mousse pulled a pair of glasses from one of his robe's secret 
pockets and put them on.  He looked at his prize, snorted and dropped 
Akane to the side.
	"Bah.  You're not--" he looked at the group confronting him.  
"RANMA!  *Now* you will be mine!"  Mousse's arm lashed out, sending a 
swarm of chains at Ranma.  Somehow she wasn't quite fast enough, and one 
wrapped around her waist and pulled her off her feet.  "Hey!"
	Flying through the air, Ranma grabbed the chain.  Control the 
roll, land on feet, yank on the chain and suddenly Mousse's weapon 
becomes a weakness.  At least that was the plan until a yellow-and-black 
bandana severed the chain, sending her tumbling on her rear end. 
	Ryouga strode forward, his hair now unbound. 
	"Listen you, I've had just about all I can take--"
	Mousse frowned.  "You dare interfere with me?  Very well, learn 
the consequences of your act!"  He planted his feet together, and spread 
his arms like a bird's wings.  Ranma recognized the stance, and doubled 
her efforts to get out of the chain.
	Ryouga charged.  "You think that scares--"
	"Fist of the White Swan!  HAKU-KEN!"  Suddenly, Mousse's arms 
flashed forward.  Something unseen smashed Ryouga thrice.  He staggered 
back and fell next to Ranma, who had found her feet.  Poor guy, taken out 
by a training potty. 
	"That's it, duck, you're--"  Something grabbed Ranma's arm.  It 
was Ryouga, getting back up already.  She recognized his "I'll never give 
up" look. 
	"Ranma, this guy is pretty strong.  Don't worry, I'll handle 
him."  Ranma boggled.
	"Huh?  Hey, I can take care of him myself!"
	"But...you might get hurt..."
	"Hah!  Against *Mousse*!?"  Seeing Ryouga's surprise, 
"Er...uh...I mean..."
	She was vaguely aware that Hikaru was confronting Mousse himself. 
	"Ranma, it's a man's responsibility to protect the ones he 
loves." This was a side of Ryouga Ranma had never seen before.  Tender 
and confident in his feelings.  She was almost touched.  Almost.
	"I've been training while you were gone, Ryouga.  I'm probably 
better than you now."
	"But still--"
	They were interrupted by another set of chains wrapping 
themselves around Ranma.  Mousse yanked her towards him.  Ryouga charged 
in, jumping over the stunned form of Hikaru. 
	"Let her go!" demanded the fanged boy. 
	"You again?  Didn't you learn your lesson already?"
	"I'll *never* let you have her!  You'll have to kill me first!" 
	Please...spare me the melodrama, thought Ranma as she struggled 
against her bonds.  It was no good.  She was wrapped too tightly, and 
Mousse had too good a grasp. 
	The Chinese boy smirked.  "Kill?  Hardly necessary."  He raised 
his arm, lifting Ranma into the air.  "KEIRAN KEN!"  From her perspective 
Ranma couldn't see it, but she knew this trick involved a hen popping 
from his sleeve and laying eggs in Mousse's free hand.
	Yes, and now he threw them at Ryouga.  The other boy evaded the 
eggs, but their real purpose was to create a blinding cloud of smoke.  By 
the time it cleared, Ryouga had gotten turned around.  That made him easy 
prey for a chain around the ankles.  Ranma flinched in sympathy as his 
chin impacted pavement.
	"That was almost too easy."  Mousse hefted Ranma and turned 
east.  "Now, my girl, let us de--Urgh!"
	Akane had apparently managed to free herself, and had just given 
Mousse a solid kick to the jaw.  Way to go Akane, thought Ranma as Mousse 
dropped her.  Chains were a bit looser now... 
	"All right, buster, let's see how you are against someone whose 
back isn't turned!"  Akane looked angry.  Ranma knew that look too well. 
	"Why you--argh!"  Mousse moved forward involuntarily, revealing a 
grinning Hikaru. 
	"Gotcha, four-eyes."  He took a jab at Mousse, who spun away and 
launched a chain at Akane. 
	"Not again!" she screamed as the chain whipped around her, and 
Mousse tossed her at Hikaru.  The long-braided boy easily dodged the 
human missile and kept charging.  But Ryouga had recovered himself and 
made a flying leap to catch Akane. 
	"Th-thanks, Ryouga..."
	"Mhm."  He set her down gently, then stood up and glared at 
Hikaru, who was circling Mousse. 
	"Hey!"  She could have been hurt!" 
	Hikaru didn't bother to look.  "The tomboy can take care of 
herself, right?  If she's stupid enough to think she can fight, I'm not 
responsible." 
	"You little punk..."
	Ranma was nearly free.  But she saw some problems arising... 
	Mousse launched a sweeping kick at Hikaru, which the younger boy 
dodged.  His own punches were blocked.  Ryouga and Akane came up to flank 
Hikaru, but he shoved them away. 
	"Butt out, I can take him by myself."
	"Hey, we're only trying to help!" snapped Akane. 
	"Huh.  Like I need your help for anything." 
	"Listen, you jerk..." began Ryouga. 
	While they argued, Mousse evidently decided the trio posed no 
immediate threat and turned back to Ranma.  His smile faded when he saw 
Ranma was free again and coming straight at him. 
	Gotta end this before someone really gets hurt, thought Ranma. 
	"KACHUU TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN!"  Ranma's speed-punching technique 
easily cut through Mousse's defenses.  A lot of her frustration went into 
the dozens of blows she was landing.  Mousse staggered back and his 
glasses fell off. 
	Ranma was feeling pretty good until suddenly her legs gave way 
beneath her and her lungs began to burn.  "What...feel so tired..."
	Mousse shook his head.  "That's...Amazon technique..."  He wiped 
blood from his liup, then snarled.  He whipped out a mallet and brought 
it down on Ranma's head.  That was the last she saw for a while. 
	When Ranma awoke, she noticed that her headache was fading 
rapidly.  She opened her eyes to see a familiar Amazonian face. 
	"Ranma awake!  Feel all right?"
	"I-I guess so, Shampoo.  What are you doing to my head?"
	"Make poultice, bring down swelling.  Great-Grandmother teach." 
	Oh yeah.  Cologne was a healer as well as a warrior and pain in 
the rear.  Evidently this Shampoo had learned more of that part of 
Joketsuzoku tradition.
	The purple-haired girl was abruptly replaced by Ryouga, who 
locked Ranma in an uncomfortably tight embrace.  "Are you all right, 
sweetheart?"  Ranma bristled at the last word, but forced herself to 
remain calm.
	"I'm okay, Ryouga.  How about Akane and Hikaru?"
	"I'm here!" announced Akane.  "Your brother ran off to try to 
find Mousse again."
	"I would have had him," said Ryouga, jerking a thumb at Shampoo, 
"but this girl got in the way."
	"You no hurt Mousse!  Shampoo need him one piece for wedding!" 
	Ranma blinked, then remembered the weird backwards relationship 
the Mousse and Shampoo of this world had.  She sat up and peeled Ryouga's 
arms off her.
	"Thanks for the first aid, Shampoo.  Would you like to come back 
to the dojo with us?" 
	"Can't.  Must find Mousse.  Chase to end of Earth, if have to."  
Shampoo tucked her supplies away in her suit, then ran off.  Ranma wished 
her good hunting. 
	"Who was that girl anyways, and why does this Mousse think he can 
take you away?" 
	As they walked back to the dojo, Ranma leaning on Akane a bit 
since she was still tired, she explained about Shampoo and Mousse. 
	"That's a pretty wild story.  Good thinking on getting out from 
under that `outsider' law.  See, Ranma, it's like Nabiki always says, 
`you have a brain, you just have to use it.'  Now, why were you yelling 
something about chestnuts just before you fell over?"
	"Well, that was--"
	Hikaru dropped down from the rooftop.  "No sign of him.  For a 
blind guy, Mousse gets around pretty well."
	"He'll be back, probably.  He doesn't give up easily." 
	"Good, I want another crack at him," growled Ryouga, massaging a 
fist. 
	They entered the training hall, where Kasumi was waiting with 
cupcakes. 
	"Did you have a nice practice?"
	"I wouldn't call it `nice'," replied Akane, "but I think we all 
got a workout."
	As they ate, Akane asked about the chestnuts again.
	"Oh, right.  The Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken is a speed-punching 
technique.  You're supposed to be able to pull chestnuts out of a fire 
without getting burned.  Guess I pushed it too hard."  Just like my first 
battle with Mousse in the real world, she thought.  I haven't fully 
adjusted to my new body, and it cost me.
	"Where'd you learn something like that?" asked Ryouga and Hikaru 
simultaneously.  Then they glared at each other.
	"It's a long story.  Which reminds me.  Just before all this 
started, an apology was going to be made."
	Hikaru grimaced.  "Okay, okay.  Ryouga, I apologize for knocking 
you off that cliff and like that junk."
	"That's an apology?" asked Ryouga.  "I oughta--"
	"Ryouga!  If you take vengeance on my brother, you will no longer 
be my fiance."  There, let *him* stew in a dilemma for a bit.  "And 
Hikaru, that was a terrible excuse for an apology.  When we get home, ask 
Mom to show you how to apologize properly."
	Her brother looked sullen, but mumbled "Sure.  Anything you say." 
	Kasumi interrupted.  "Ranma, Hikaru, your mother just called.  She 
wants you to come home right away."
		"Um, right.  Uh, Kasumi, would it be all right if Ryouga 
stayed here tonight?  He probably won't be able to get home."
	"Of course, dear.  It's so nice to have a guest."
	"We'll talk later, okay Ryouga?"
	"Okay, Ranma.  I love you."  He moved to kiss her, but Ranma 
moved away. 
	"Not now, Ryouga.  There are things I, um, have to deal with."  
She tried to ignore the hurt look in his eyes.


TO BE CONTINUED!

	Next time, I hope not quite as long away as this time, a fatal 
slip of the tongue!
	And for those of you who wonder, "What really happened in the 
fight?" check out the "Special Feature" posted soon.

SKJAM!
"Not to worry!  I get kidnapped all the time!  In fact, I'm not supposed 
to know, but Ryo planted a tracer in my bra!"
"Um, Kaori dear, you're not wearing a bra."
(looks down shirt)  "Ack!"
--From a City Hunter episode