>From the Scriviner:
        Just a fairly simple idea that popped into my head while I was
watching SNL, followed by an old Muppet Show episode... and some of the
other ideas I've seen here. This is as far as I've gone, but if anyone is
interested in making skits to include with this thing, I'd be more than
happy to receive them...

        Anyway, on with the show:

Anime Night Live!
by the Scriviner, 

Rights belong to the owners...


[ ] thoughts
<> action

Setting: Backstage. It is a very large split level area. There is a second
floor (which is open to the first via a balcony) where the numerous dressing
rooms are. Chaos currently rules with numerous anime characters moving back
and forth all over the place. Oddly enough, there also appears to be a herd
of cows milling about... the cows are standing upright and a few of them are
smoking. In the center of everything, like the eye of the storm, is Tenchi
Masaki, flanked by Aeka and Ryouko.

Tenchi: <speaking into a celphone> What do you mean Ryouga's in Peoria? We
need him for the big opening number in... <glances at his watch> twenty minutes!

Ryouko: <screaming at some guy near the door>Hey! You with the Valkyrie! Yes
you! Park it outside!! I don't care if you don't have anymore parking spaces
you can't leave it in here! 

Voice on the Phone: I'm sorry, but that's where I found him... 

Aeka: <talking to a girl with a rather deflated looking pie>Oh my, no...
That will never do..! Go over to the commissary and ask Miss Kuonji to give
you some whipped cream!

<there's a muffled explosion in the distance>

Tenchi:<covers the phone's mouthpiece momentarily and shouts at someone at
random> Go check that out!

Tenchi: <into the phone> Alright, alright...  Stay where you are and I'll
send someone to pick you guys up. <hangs up the phone and turns to Aeka>
Would you send someone to pick up Ryouga and Iria at this address?

Aeka: Yes, Tenchi-sama <bows and dashes off into the crowd>

Ryouko:<floats up over everyone and shouts at the top of her lungs> Will
everyone please keep quiet!?!

<The lights suddenly shut off and the entire area is plunged in
semi-darkness. The chaos quiets down to a loud muttering>

Tenchi: Now what? What's happening now?!

Voice in the darkness: Someone let Mihoshi near the fusebox again... 

Tenchi: What about the generators?

Voice: She bumped into that too... they're still looking for all the parts...

Tenchi: This is a total disaster!

Voice: It's okay... Washuu... er... Washuu-chan, Doctor Ido and Professor
Natsume are wiring Princess Lum into the building's power grid...

<as if in answer the lights come back on>

Tenchi: <looks up and heaves a sigh of relief> Thank goodness. <He turns to
the voice who turns out to be Makoto Mizuhara> Aren't you supposed to be
with the wardrobe crew?

Makoto: <looks worried> Um... I'd rather not be...

Tenchi: What's the problem?

Ryouko:<floats over to another corner and whacks a smoking cow on the head
with it> This is a no smoking area! Take it outside!

Cow with a scar on his face: <in a sullen mutter> Speceist...

Makoto: Look... it's complicated...

Tenchi: Everything is complicated here... <sigh> Fine, fine, I think they
still need an extra pair of hands in the lighting department [Provided Skuld
and Urd haven't managed to destroy that, too]

Aeka: <dashes back to Tenchi's side> Mr. Dyson said he'd take care of
picking up Ryouga...

Tenchi: Who's Dyson?

Aeka: The fellow the devil-woman was screaming at earlier.

Tenchi: Good. <checks his clipboard again with a sigh> Is the wardrobe truck
still in traffic?

Aeka: <checks her clipboard> I'm afraid so... last time they called they
were still twelve blocks away.

Tenchi: Argh. [Why did I let them talk me into this?]


Setting: The Box Office. The street can be seen and there is still a long
line of people waiting to get tickets. Inside the box office, Nanami Jinnai
and Negiri cheerfully sell tickets. Nabiki is sitting in the back counting
the money. Outside, several very large men are keeping order.

Nanami: <Handing a ticket to a customer>Thank you. Enjoy the show.

Negiri: Here you go. Front row. Have fun!

Nabiki: Pretty good take so far... this was a great idea, ladies...

<All three women smile calculatingly as they glance at the large stacks of
cash which have piled up. Without warning they sneeze simultaneously.>


Setting: Backstage. 

Ryouko: <heaping abuse on another hapless stagehand>Did I tell you to put
that there?! Who told you to put that there? What do you mean I did?! 

Tenchi: <glancing at his watch> I'm not sure how much longer we can wait for
them... we'll have to bump Ryouga's number back a bit and go with Priss and
the Replicants.

Aeka: Um... we can't seem to do that Tenchi-sama...

Tenchi: <starting to look slightly annoyed> Why not?

Aeka: <looks at the floor, face blushing> They're all laid up in there
dressing room sick to their stomachs...

Tenchi: What? Why?

Aeka: Well... someone let Ms. Shiko Kotubuki and Ms. Akane Tendo get into
the catering crew. About a third of our stagehands are sick. <she blushes a
little more> All of the toilets are jammed and Dr. Tofu is running out of
medicine for everyone. Although to hear Mr. Saotome tell it, they're lucky
to be alive.

Tenchi: <beating his head on the desk in front of him> Why me? Why me?

Ryouko: <pointing at someone in midair> You! The flying pig! Yes you! How
many flying pigs do you see around here?! They need someone to fly the
wardrobe truck here, it's stuck in traffic.

<The pig sniffs importantly at Ryouko and flies out of a window with a swish
of her cape.>

Tenchi: What about the Doco Singers?

Aeka: What about them?

Tenchi: Did they eat any of Shiko's food?

Aeka: No... I don't think so, but three... no... two of them are with the
catering crew and one's in the box office. Everyone seems to be undermanned...

Tenchi: We don't have much of a choice. They're the opening number. Send
them to costuming and let's get this show on the road...

Menacing voice from near the end of the building: You dare!?! I will make
you suffer a thousandfold for this!!!

Tenchi: <looking in that direction> Now what? <grabs a random passerby>
What's happening back there?

A girl in a penguin suit: I think Mr. Moroboshi was hitting on Ms. Pai again.

Tenchi: <sighing> Why me?