What if... Genma and Sound have really been women all this time? What if
Ukyou is really Elvis's love child by an Alien princess. What if Cologne
and Ryouga are long lost siblings. What if Ranma and Akane really are...

			     JUST PRETENDING	

		  a short goofy little piece of fanfic
			     by Chris Jones

All these characters belong to a bunch of somebody elses, who could
probably all crush me like a bug if they felt like it. Don't hurt me, please!

While suggestive, naughty, racy, and pretty campy, this story is NOT
explicit. That's right, this short contains NO REAL LEMON WHATSOEVER! This
fic is completely free of any natural juices or flavors.

Now, if you aren't a hentai who only enjoys gratuitous tentacle scenes,
please read on:
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	Soun and Genma-panda were indulging in their favorite pastime, cheating at
shogi. It was late afternoon, and Genma was ahead by almost five moves.
Soun sipped from his tankard, considering the best way to distract Genma
for his three move special attack.

	He should be trying his three move special attack any time now, Genma
thought to himself. He laughed evilly, but it came out as a menacing growl.

	"Ah-hah, I've got you now, Saotome!" Soun challenged, holding up a black
tile. "Look, Godzilla!" He pointed out over the back yard. "Nabiki, have
you got your polaroid?"

	<NO CHEATING!> Genma's signboard read. He used the time it took Soun to
read it to place an extra tile on the board.

	Nabiki shook her finger from where she was doing her tax frau...eh...
homework, chiding the two old men. "They'll never learn." She whispered to
herself. 

	Kassumi merrily dusted the table in front of her. "But they have such a
good time doing it. It would be a shame to make them play fair."

	Nabiki smiled coolly at her sister. "I didn't mean that they had to play
fair. They're just cheating on such a small scale that I feel sorry for
them. It's like watching small children play, really."

	"Oh, Nabiki..." Kassumi smiled and continued dusting.

	Having more sensitive ears as a panda than most humans, Genma heard the
pounding before the rest of them. It was only by seconds, though. As Akane
ran screaming in the front door, he used the momentary distraction to place
another two tiles.

	"BAKA HENTAI!!!!" Akane fled up the stairs.

	"KAWAIIKUNEE" Ranma yelled as he barrelled through the door. 

	"Oh my!" a startled Kassumi exclaimed, as Ranma very nearly ran her over
in his mad dash.

	"Sorry..." He bowed slightly, and took off up the stairs, after Akane.

	After a few seconds, the group downstairs heard Akane's door slam, and the
yelling begin. Soun bowed his head in grief.

	"Can there be no peace between those two?" He sobbed, as Genma place
another tile on the board.

	"Growf." <SOON, THEY WILL COME AROUND. IF ONLY THAT IDIOT SON OF MINE CAN
KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT!> Genma sighed, as best a panda could.

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	The door slammed behind Ranma as he entered Akane's room. His chest heaved
with the exertion of running all the way home from the high school. His
eyes were filled with fire. He stared at Akane, who was also heaving, her
body braced in a defensive position.

	Akane glared at Ranma and held up her hand. "I got here first. That means
it's my turn first today. So there!"

	"Macho tomboy. When are you gonna learn?" Ranma lept at her and threw her
roughly on the bed.

	"Hentai!" Akane screamed. Then, quitely, she giggled and threw her head back.

	"Laugh at me, huh? You really are gonna get it!" Ranma lept on top of her,
snarling. He clawed at her skirt, and pulled it up over her waist.

	"Slow down, will you!" Akane hissed. "You want everybody to catch on?"

	"Oh you wish...  Here, help me..." He reached for her polka dot panties,
struggling to pull them over her hips.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

	"...RANMA!" The cry came from above, acompanied by the shaking of the
walls, and a bashing sound.

	"She really must be punishing him." Soun looked up with dread from his
game. "I wonder how much he can take."

	For once, Genma did not cheat, as his host's face was turned. He was busy
trying to avoid the plaster falling from the ceiling. "GROWF!" he exclaimed
as a particularly crumbly piece landed directly in his foaming tankard. <I
WONDER HOW MUCH MORE *I* CAN TAKE>

	"You know, daddy. Ranma and Akane might get along a little bit better if
you two weren't pushing them at each other all the time." Nabiki scribbled
into her ledger, as she caught her father's gaze. "Like the time I was
trying to breed gerbils, remember?"

	"Your sister is hardly a rodent, Nabiki." Soun grimaced at his daughter,
but thought about her words seriously. Maybe if I were more subtle..., he
thought.

	*WHAM* "I CAN'T BELIVE YOU DID THAT, YOU PERVERT!" Another chunk of
plaster fell, this time on the shogi board.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

	"Ahhhhh.... That was great, Ranma." Akane was curled up under her
comforter, sighing contentedly. 

	"Mmmm.. Glad you liked it." Onna-Ranma wrapped her arms around her
fiancee. "I was thinking. Maybe we should tell our dads. It's not like they
don't want us to be together, you know."

	"Do you particularly want to get married at the age of seventeen, lover?"
Akane playfully yanked the redhead's pigtail.

	"You gotta good point there. We really should wait until we're out of
school." Ranma sighed.

	"Maybe even university..." Akane gave her lover a serious expression.

	"Maybe... I'm not sure I wanna wait that long! This
uncute-tomboy-chased-by-nine-fiancees crap is getting old! " Ranma laughed
and threw her head back. "Hey, you think Ryouga's figured it out yet?"

	"I don't think so. We've been pretty good keeping up appearances when he's
around."

	Ranma's expression turned thoughtful for a second. "Maybe we should tell
him... You know, let him down easy? He's starting to get pretty serious
about you."

	"What?!?!" Akane gasped melodramatically. "And give up my darling P-chan?!?!"

	They both lay back in the bed and giggled for several minutes, until Ranma
looked up at the clock. "It's been about twenty minutes since you stopped
screaming. We really should get back downstairs, or they'll start to think
something's up."

	"Screaming?!?" Akane glowered.

	"Yelling loudly in ecstasy, maybe?" Ranma suggested

	"That's better. I guess you're right. I'd better get dressed." She hefted
her mallet. "I'd feel naked without it!"

	"Just give me a head start, okay?"

	"Sure thing, Lover!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

	Nabiki looked up as her sister came running down the stairs, swinging her
mallet as she went and causing hundreds of dollars worth of structural
damage as she went. Ranma was one step ahead of her, barely dodging a
certain hospital stay. He stepped right in the middle of the shogi board,
ruining his father's super triple-three tile sneak.

	"Ranma, you jerk! When are you going to quit coming into my room, you
pervert?"

	"Stupid tomboy! Like there's anything in there I wanna see. Get real!"

	Nabiki sighed, and went back to her ledger. When would they learn?	
---------------------------------------------------------------------

Ahhhh... now that that's out of my system, I can finish up 'Meow'

Hamster

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Chris Jones                    hamster@arn.net	
Hamster House of Animation     http://users.arn.net/~hamster
The Ranma 1/2 Gallery          http://www.geocities.com/tokyo/6413
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'My name is NOT Charlotte!' 'It's P-chan' 'Right! Uhhh..No!' -R1/2