Gary Kleppe wrote:

Jim: Yes, let us order. Ho, good waitress!

Shampoo: Shampoo is NOT a 'ho!

Bimbo maybe, but *never* a 'ho.
 

Jim: Pray waitress, I merely wish thou to take our order!

Shampoo: Why tincan gymclothes fanboys pray Shampoo?  Shampoo
no got facemarks!

I sense an AMG reference here...
 

Jim: Nay, goodwoman, we seek to summon our repast.

Shampoo: Tincan gymclothes fanboys want past that past again
come back???

Owtch... That hurt you know. That *really* hurt.
 

Jim: Alas, surely I have spoken poorly to thee fair maiden, but come,
We valiant knights, in quest the FFML to rescue, doth crave some
sustenance.

Shampoo: OOOHHH!  Funnytalk Fanboys make Shampoo's head hurt!

There's the pot calling the kettle black!

Mousse: Clearly the sign of western and capitalist oppressors.

Gary: Say What?

Mousse: (brandishes little red book) It is the opinion of the esteemed
chairman that elaborate language is a weapon of class warfare, a
means by which the parasites of society, namely you, trample down
the honest and hardworking proletariat, as exemplified by the lovely
Xian Pu here.

Agghh! And here I thought only the Jusenkyo guide was a commie! A copy
of Mao's Little Red Book in Mousse's hands...  <shudder>

Shampoo: What Mousse call Shampoo???

Numbski: Villain! Shall I in mine own establishment, suffer not only
my friends and patrons, but my servants to be so insulted!!

Mousse: See now how you feel compelled to squash my right to
communicate openly, because your capitalist system of near feudal
ownership cannot abide open criticism.

Shampoo: Stupid Mousse!  Mao-talk least as stupid as Spearshake-talk!

Jim: We shall not sit still for such infamy!  Brothers to arms!

Mousse: Now we see the violence inherent in the system...

I was waiting for this bit... <guffaw>
 

Numbski: Quest? Good sirs, spoke you of a quest? 'Tis my duty as a
knight of the realm to accompany my brother knights! The food sucketh
today anyhow...

It can't be a good modern take on Shakespeare without using the word
'sucketh' can it? I thought so too.
 

Jim: The FFML! Our quest is at an end! Oh lord, we thank thee...

Mailer-daemon: Ah hah! Not so fast, fanfiction-writing-types!

Jim: How dare you defile this place with your presence, foul deamon!

Mailer-daemon: It's spelled "daemon", you big jerk! SHISHI
CAN-O'SPAM!!!

(Jim and his entourage get buried under a torrent of pork luncheon
meat. Will they dig themselves out? Tune in tomorrow...)

You forgot the part where Sir Jim cries out in loud 'Graham
Chapman-esque' voice: "JAAAAAAAYYYYYSSSSSUUUUSSSS
CHHHHHRRRRIIIIIIIISSSSSTTTT!!!!" 
 
J. Austin Wilde