sysop@newberry.edu ==>*Warning!*<== This story deals with many adult, emotional, and sexual situations. If you are of legal age to be reading this, and any of the aforementioned situations cause extreme mental discomfort, do not read any further (and see a shrink! Sex isn't evil. Bad people make sex seem evil. Okay, lecture mode off...). If you are NOT of age and are reading this, SHAME ON YOU! ^_^ If you continue reading, you do so at your own risk. Please remember the following: While the characters in this story engage in unsafe sex, that doesn't give you a license (or excuse) to do the same. Condom axiom: Always put one on before putting it in! Author's notes: The creation of this story started as a remedy for a fit of extreme boredom. Working second shift at AT&T, I had a lot of time on my hands, considering the fact that the majority of our customers call during standard business hours. So I'm browsing through Zoner's site looking for recent fanfics to read during my slow time. Being a ravenous fan of Ranma, I try to get whatever new or updated fanfic that comes through the pipe. However, nothing new was found in the Ranma directory. So, being the Takaholic that I am, I traveled to the Urusei Yatsura directory, and stumbled across a new story titled "Urusei Yatsura: The Kidnapping (Lemon)" by a person aliased as Shutaro Mendou [from CompuSwerve (oops, my bias is showing)]. Anyway, being the hentai that I am I quickly glommed onto the story. After a record decode time with GZIP under Windows NT, I cracked the story open and read heartily. The rape scene aside, I thought it wasn't a bad story (I recommend reading it for comparison purposes). After I was through reading it, I started doing what I usually do to fanfics once I get them on my machine; I purge as many grammatical and spelling errors as I can find. Well, my tinkering went well beyond that. I had considered some of the sex scenes to be a little flat, so I started enhancing them. First I revamped (no pun intended) the scene between Mendou and Shinobu. After that, I was hooked on re-writing this thing, and went nuts. See? This is what happens when it's late at night, and it's just you and your machines. Anyway, you get the point. This story represents the end-result of the overhaul that I took Smendou's story through. In all fairness I should point out that while the majority of content in this story is my own, the backbone of the story currently remains his/hers. Depending on when this gets released, the story may maintain the outline done by Smendou, or it may be changed so that only a vague resemblance to the original remains. So this story could either be looked at as an enhancement to Smendou's story, or a new story inspired by his/hers. I won't know for sure until I shut up and complete this thing. One thing that I can say is that I plan to plot the hell out of this story. Hot and heavy love scenes (okay, love scenes) will still be an integral part of the story. However I want the sex between the characters to complement the story, not drive it. Hence, there'll be more than one paragraph of non-sexual activity between each occurrence of `the good stuff.' Why am I rambling on like this, you ask? Well, I feel that an explanation is in order, so that charges of plagiarism (such as it is) can be explained. Also, I have never written a lemon before. In fact, excluding my somewhat disappointing contribution to the currently unreleased chapter 7 of the fanfic "Robotech: the Misfold" , I have never written a fanfic before, period. So the usual "please be gentle/I'm a first timer" author disclaimers apply here. I hope that you enjoy (or endure with only a minimum of pain) this little work, which I have re-titled: "Urusei Yatsura : The Prince and the Lecher" Part One A compact ship of stealthy design was making its way towards the third planet of a yellow sun. The commander of the vessel noted the proximity of his ship to the planet and ordered that they take up an orbit. He then typed in a key sequence on a nearby console. A monitor flashed to life, and a voice said, "Make your report..." in short, clipped tones. Each person appeared to be humanoid male, but it was hard to tell anything beyond that since their faces were obscured by long, black veils. The commander stiffened into a position of obedience and addressed the screen. "Yes your majesty! We have attained orbit around the target planet. Nothing appears to be amiss, and all of our forces stand ready. We await your command." The order wasn't long in coming. "Very well, begin final preparations for the assault. Once the target has been located, be sure that you don't lose sight of it. And when you get it, don't damage it. I need it intact." "Yes SIR!" the commander replied crisply. "Anything else, your majesty?" "Only that you report to me the moment you've retrieved the `package', " the faceless person chuckled slightly at that word. "Good hunting, commander," he said, severing the link. Quietly, the ship made for a specific location on the planet's surface; its mission almost complete. **** The planet in question rotated lazily on its axis. When glanced at from a distance it was a rather tranquil view, really. One specific location, a city on an island in the northern Pacific, appeared comfortably subdued for the moment. But an approaching ship held promise of an unwanted increase in activity. The sidewalks of the city were slightly crowded with people as the sun began its descent. As the days progressed the wind started to have a chill bite to it. Soon it would be too cold to enjoy a walk outside. Today, gray clouds cast a pall over the late-afternoon sky, further indicating that winter was approaching. However many people ignored the approach of the winter season and walked about the city, hoping to squeeze in a few more hours of enjoyment before the weather soured completely. A young man was walking aimlessly through the moderate- sized crowds that day. A slightly excited chortle was occasionally emitted from his direction as he continued his wandering. A moment later his posture changed from that of an aimless explorer to one of a deadly hunter. He sprang as he sighted his quarry, yelling a battlecry sure to strike fear into the hearts of many a person ... especially kawaii girls. "SWEETO!" the spry individual yelled as he latched onto a mortified young lady. Terror was replaced with uneasiness, and finally disgust as the predator continued his verbal assault. "You're cute! How'd you like to come home with me and bear my children?" Not waiting for an answer, he latched firmly onto the woman's body with a death grip. She screamed as his hands found her firm breasts. At this point, her disgust was redirected to her self-defense systems, and she whaled the assailant with a redoubtable hit that sent him sprawling across 4 lanes of traffic and into the side of a postal box. "Hentai!" she screamed as she stormed off. The valiant hunter lay sprawled on the sidewalk next to the mailbox he had impacted with. It was now sporting a dent which looked remarkably like the person that had impacted with it. Twitching occasionally, he managed to shuffle himself into a sitting position, wiping blood from his nose and smirking to himself. Passers-by barely paid attention to the suffering guy as he attempted to get up. "I guess that approach needs to be refined a bit. Heh, so many women to choose from. All I have to do is work on my act. Then I WILL BE A GOD TO WOMEN!" he proclaimed rather insanely. He then broke into a fit of cackling laughter befitting his instability. A shopkeeper in a nearby store was handing change to a customer. He shook his head slowly as the laughter erupted. Understandably, his customer asked what the hell that was. The reply was simply "That kid Ataru Moroboshi. He does this EVERY weekend." To himself he added, `Geez! If that creep keeps this up, he'll run off all of my customers!' They both watched from the safety of the store window as Ataru got back up slowly. His legs were wobbly, and his head was apparently spinning in dizziness. He eventually proceeded down the sidewalk, hunting new prey. He turned the corner and moments later a shriek could be heard, followed by the sound of bone impacting pavement. The storekeeper sighed sadly to himself and turned to attend to his next customer. **** Inside a two-story house in another part of town, another sigh could be heard. It was a Saturday and Lum was feeling restless. `No,' she thought to herself, `restless doesn't adequately describe it.' Well, whatever her emotion, it had to do with Ataru. He had been a jerk to her again today, and she was beginning to feel frustrated. `Yeah,' she thought as she heaved another long sigh. `Frustration's more like it.' She just couldn't stand his antics any more. Normally, she'd been able to reassure herself by saying that even though Ataru acted like an asshole, he really did love her. But given the magnitude of this day and what it meant to her, she just wasn't sure anymore. Today was important to her because it was the anniversary of the day that Ataru beat her in the game of tag which spared the lives of all humans on the planet. Also, it was on that same day that Ataru had `proposed' to her. Because of this, Lum expected more from him than the ignorance she'd received. Standing in Ataru's room alone, Lum was experiencing a heartache she had never felt before. Her usual cheery disposition had been replaced by a dark brooding. `I hate feeling like this. All my friends have constantly warned me to stay away from Darling. I ignored them because I'd always believed that I knew a side of him that they never saw. Maybe they're right. Perhaps I've been wrong about him all this time,' she admitted to herself. Hell, Ataru never even gave it a second thought when she said she wanted to do something tonight. He'd brushed her off, merely replying "Not now Lum!" as he bolted out of the house. Ataru's parents weren't going to be home for the whole week. Lum decided to use that opportunity to make it perfect for her and Ataru. Considering all the planning she put into effect for tonight, everything was indeed perfect. Everything except for the fact that the man she loved was not there to share it with her. Sitting down on Ataru's bed, a breeze wafted in through the nearby window and caressed her face. Immersing herself in it, she let the breeze tug at her lustrous green hair in a slow, wave-like motion. The buildup of emotion was becoming too great for her, and tears began to form around her eyes. "Darling no baka," she whispered to herself, letting her tears wash from her blue eyes and down the soft cheeks of her heart-shaped face. Sniffling slightly, she turned to the clock which showed five o'clock. Lum had asked Ataru to be there by six but from his response to her earlier, she feared he wouldn't be home by then. She had so hoped that they would finally be able to come to terms with the emotions and situations that they had been dancing around for so long. She was tired of both of them avoiding the truth, and Ataru's insolence wasn't helping matters any. `Am I asking too much from him?' she wondered. She'd only wanted tenderness and intimacy from Ataru. Instead all she'd ever gotten were careless rebuffs to her overtures. In the past, she had been content to dream of sharing a closeness with Ataru, but recently she was growing tired of constantly being put on hold by him. "I could have any man in the galaxy Darling," she whispered. "Many have tried to win my heart but I'm only attracted to you. You're the one who eludes me Darling. I sometimes wonder if you're capable of loving me, but nevertheless I hope that one day I'll hear the words 'I love you' come from your mouth." Lum couldn't stand the weight of her heartache any longer and broke down. With a cry of anguish she gave in to her pain and was wracked with body-shaking sobs. Clinging desperately to his pillow, she went on for several minutes before her tremors stopped and her sobs finally abated. She sat up, sniffling, and looked at herself in the mirror. She looked at the slick trail her tears had formed down the sides of her face and regretfully wiped them away, wishing Ataru were there to comfort her and wipe those tears away instead. She despaired over the fact that he was never there for her, and took her continual presence for granted. Even now, he had neglected her, thinking of himself only. She was waiting alone, hoping that he would finally show up, but knowing that he wasn't going to. Sighing loudly, she mused over the many things they had yet to do in their relationship, and the many regrets that she harbored for the time lost between herself and Ataru. `Dammit!' she though to herself angrily, `he hasn't ever really kissed me yet!' She put her fingertips to her lips, trying to imagine what kissing Ataru was like. She then dropped her fingers down from her face and she grabbed her arms, squeezing in a light embrace to drive off her oppressive loneliness. She stroked her left arm absently, trying to bring some comfort to buffer the pain of her heartache. "I am yours for the taking, Darling. Body and soul. Why do you refuse my offerings?" she asked aloud, not caring who heard her. She continued her self caress, ignoring the chilling breeze from the window as she worked on keeping her heart from breaking completely. A familiar tingle started to make itself known at the juncture of her legs. With a bittersweet smile, she extended her caress to her other areas of herself. Her body warmed as her fingers found sensitive spots through the fabric of her bikini. Her depression slowly disappeared, and was replaced by well-known feelings of longing and sexual attraction. `At least I can appreciate myself if Darling won't appreciate me,' she thought as her fingers moved to her chest and began to linger over her breasts. Two distinct impressions made themselves clear through the top of her bikini as her nipples stiffened in response to the attention they were receiving. Her imagination took over, as she dreamed that Ataru was there with her, giving her the attention that she so desperately wanted. Her hands became his hands, as she fantasized about him taking her in the ultimate gesture of love. Her roaming fingers caressed her sensitive parts through her clothing, and Lum closed her eyes and surrendered herself to her fantasy, trying to dull her emotional pain. Lum's hands were working their usual magic over her body when a stiff breeze hit her, stopping her abruptly and reminding her that the window was wide open, and people would have no trouble watching as she pleasured herself. Quickly covering areas of her body that she had partly exposed, Lum jumped up from the bed and closed the window and shades and locked the door. She then sat down on his bed and returned her attention to herself, rubbing her straining nipples through her top. "Darling..." she moaned as she snaked a hand down from one of her breasts to her sex. Soon she couldn't resist any longer and arched her back. Hooking her thumbs between her youthful skin and the sides of her bikini bottom, she slipped it down her hips and past her knees. She hurriedly unclasped the top as she kicked the bottoms off of her legs and off of Ataru's bet. She followed up by dropping the skimpy top on the floor at the foot of Ataru's bed, then shook her head to clear away the wisps of green hair that had gotten into her eyes when she was thrashing about trying to remove her bikini bottoms. She stopped her movement as she caught a glimpse of her naked self in the full length mirror that sat across from his bed. She stared at her exposed body for several minutes, eyeing critically the erect nipples on her breasts, and the slight rounding of her hips. She could feel herself getting turned on by just watching herself in the mirror. Watching with intense interest, she reached up and kneaded the soft skin of her full breasts in her tiny hands, cooing in pleasure as she found all the right places to touch. Very turned on by her little fantasy, Lum lay herself down on Ataru's bed and closed her eyes. She continued moving her hands about her body, concentrating on the sensitive musculature of her exposed abdomen. Goosebumps raised themselves on her skin in response to the marvelous stimulus her nerves were receiving. As she glided her fingers across the toned landscape of her stomach, she imagined Ataru laying there next to her, his hands happily and studiously mapping out every inch of her body's curvature. The fantasy was enhancing her desire, causing Lum to want to deepen the sensuous exploration of herself. Waves of pleasure were wending their way through her petite form as her hands made their way back up to her bare breasts. With her thumbs and forefingers she began to lightly pinch and rotate her pink nipples, which were thrust well outward from their aureole, providing a stark contrast to the soft skin capping the whole of her breasts. Her pleasure intensified as she sped up the rubbing of her breast with one of her hands and worked the other one below her waist and made contact with the delta of her femininity. Lum maneuvered her hands so she could stroke part of her inner thighs and the area around her sex while deliberately avoiding her clit. She stroked, and probed lightly into her vagina with one of her fingers with expert care until suddenly, not being able to stand the wait any longer, her hand darted to the center of her sex. Lum gasped sharply as her fingers made contact with the swollen button of her clit at the apex of her vagina. "Ohhhhh yessss..." she hissed, then moaned, tongue slightly parting her lips, as her other hand slid down her sex from her clit to her awaiting orifice. `It's so sensitive ... oh, Darling!' she thought to herself as one of her middle fingers ran up and down the slickened slit of her sex, teasing her clit with every stroke. Lum hips wriggled about as her body reacted to her hand's manipulations of her ripe sex. She bit on her lower lip to keep from moaning too loudly, her stroking fingers working non-stop on her vagina. But try as she might to stifle them, small grunts and moans worked their way free with more and more regularity, and soon she was humping her hand with abandonment.. Her lustful desire had her wanting more, so she brought her other hand up and parted the silky cover of green hair that protected her virgin sex from prying eyes. With her middle finger hovering at the opening to her flower, she plunged a finger deep into her vagina. Lum yelped slightly, then clenched her teeth as the sensations brought on by that penetration hit her without warning. Her breathing and her hand movements were quickened by the lustful feelings that were now dominating her. She parted the pink folds of her sex even further as she worked another finger inside herself, then wiggled them about the walls of her sex. She moved her hand in and out earnestly, her hips bucking involuntarily as she sought deeper and deeper penetration. Finding a rhythm with her hips and hands, she humped herself into an unstoppable frenzy. Hungry for a climax, Lum's hands worked faster and faster on her clit and the inside of her sopping wet vagina. Her hands became thoroughly drenched as the honey of her sex flowed freely from her. The greenish wisps of her pubic hair became matted to the sensitive, blood-gorged lips of her sex as she thrashed about in the throes of near- delirium. She worked herself relentlessly, not wanting to stop until suddenly she began feeling spasms hit her. Lum then moved her other hand from her clit to hold her lips open as her right hand pushed deeper inside herself. Her hands became a blur as she stroked herself faster, her body starting to glow with suppressed energy as she reached her peak and rocketed towards an orgasm. Her index and middle fingers were making contact with her virgin wall with every penetration, making her flinch slightly on every instroke. But the pleasure of the act was far outweighing the pain of her intact virginity, and she pushed herself faster and harder, lusting for the inevitable outcome, until she finally gave out an irrepressible, shrill cry and knew she was there. A moment later she came with a scream that nearly shattered all the windows in the neighborhood, and left a decidedly wet spot on Ataru's bed. She collapsed on the bed, gasping deeply for air. Her bountiful chest heaved mightily as she claimed as much air as she possibly could with each breath. Exhausted from her effort, she put a hand to her flushed face, and could smell the fruit of her labor on it. `Mmmm. That smells like teen spirit to me!' she thought mischievously, as a smirk wound its way on her beautiful face. She delicately licked her fingers, tasting the warm tang of her passion. With her eyes closed, Lum rolled her tongue around her fingers to savor the taste of her nectar, and had to admit that she liked the taste of herself a lot. Wanting seconds, she reached back down and caressed her steaming sex slowly, accumulating more of the intoxicating substance hiding within the inner folds of her love. As her fingers roamed about her sex, she couldn't help but wonder if having a man between her legs would feel as good as what she was capable of doing to herself. `Darling, this could be yours if you'd give me the chance,' she thought wistfully, cupping her cum-covered sex in her hand as another image of Ataru came to mind. Her hormones were a whirlwind in her body, causing all parts of herself to be extremely sensitive to any contact. Raising her arms back up to wipe the sweat from her brow, she gasped lustily as one of her arms made accidental contact with her very hard nipples. The sensation of her nipples being struck sent a surge of sexual fire from her breasts directly to her sex, and created a sensation within her more intoxicating than anything else she could conceive of. Primed for another run, she was almost tempted to return her hands to her sex and bring herself off a second time, but stopped herself at the last minute, not sure how much time she had left to herself. Lum's body eventually stopped shivering, and her mind slowly cleared as she lay there panting. Whatever depression she had been feeling was blown away by the Oni- orgasm that she just endured, and was replaced by a determination to make Ataru listen to her. Lifting up from where she was laying, Lum looked down at the evidence of her intense `self-study.' The intense and heady odor of her sweet nectar was unmistakable as she bent her head down to investigate the stain on his sheets. She gave a slight smirk, and thought to herself `Maybe I should leave that for Darling He may finally get the hint.' She glanced up at the clock again; it showed 5:35. `Good,' she thought `I have enough time to take a shower and get ready in case he shows up.' She got up from Ataru's bed, her inner thighs and sex glistening with the lubricating juices that were still running from the confines of her sensitive vagina. She rushed to the shower, in anticipation of the night's events to come. **** Running water announced a shower in progress. Soon the flow of water ended, and a refreshed "Ahh!" made its way from the bathroom. A young man, wrapped only in a towel emerged from the bathroom and made for a nearby mirror. "You're going to get a girl tonight, Megane!" he said to his reflection. He had worked extra hard to get the money needed to attend the party being thrown tonight. He wasn't bringing anyone with him to the social, but he was banking on bagging a wallflower soon after arriving. He donned his glasses, and was about to launch into a soliloquy over his `imminent' sexual conquest when a cool breeze hit him. He looked over and saw that his bedroom window was closed, and shrugged his shoulders, assuming that the breeze was caused by the startup of the heating system. He walked over to his closet to retrieve his rented tux when a colder and stronger breeze hit him in the face. Puzzled, he opened his closet and, "waaaahhhh!!!!" Megane was knocked backwards as a white mountain tackled him. He tried to run, but was unable to as he was pinned down by what had hit him. It was heavy and ... cold? Freezing, actually. Slowly, Megane managed to extricate himself from the pile of what he identified as snow. He stood facing the closet and the aberrant snow drift, puzzling over its creation when a dainty voice issued a query. "Excuse me, is this the Moroboshi residence?" Megane screamed, in shock over the unknown source of the voice, and in anger over the accursed name of his sometime-nemesis. **** After getting out of the shower, Lum toweled herself off and donned another tiger-striped bikini from her endless supply. She stuffed a few items into her Cleavage of Holding (TM), and prepared to hunt Ataru down and drag him home. She hadn't even gotten out of Ataru's bedroom door when suddenly the house shook, and all power was lost. Afraid, she shut the door to Ataru's room and locked it. Scurrying could be heard. What bothered her most was that the scurrying was everywhere, and she couldn't pinpoint a single source. Suddenly, out of nowhere, several black forms descended from the ceiling and charged at her. Lum's defense instinct kicked in, and without even looking she pointed and vaporized one of the dark figures with a lightning shot from her right hand. However, luck was against her that day as a multitude of gloved hands descended on her body before she could loose another salvo. She struggled against the hands that found purchase on her body. She didn't know what to do as the hands roamed about her, roughly and lewdly manipulating parts of her body that she'd reserved for her own or Ataru's touch. The unwanted pleasure quickly gave way to pain as she felt a sharp jab in her ass. Her vision blurred and she knew she was quickly on her way to passing out. `Shit! I've been drugged. I can't...,' she thought, trying to maintain consciousness. Her body jolted as the unseen individuals bound her arms and legs. Unable to fight, she tried to scream. She opened her mouth to yell only to find a gag quickly inserted. "Tell Prince Graven that we have the Oni Princess, and are ..." was the last thing she heard as the darkness finally claimed her. **** Two men were standing outside the entrance to an enormous complex. Apparently they were in some sort of disagreement, as they were screaming at the top of their lungs. The argument was cut short by the taller of the two combatants when he said "HELL NO, DUMBASS! GET A LIFE AND GO HOME!" The man smirked as he walked towards his post at the entrance gate. "Well THIS sucks!" Ataru screamed at the guard as he stormed down the sidewalk. All of his friends had left him behind to go to the high school social event of the year. Every year the Tomobiki social was held for all students. This year it was different because the students were shelling out 4500 yen a head to get in the door. But there was a provision where each student was allowed a guest to accompany them at no additional charge. Since Ataru was perpetually broke, he couldn't afford to pay his way in and had been hoping to coast in somehow with someone. `Hell, what chance do I have now?' Ataru thought sourly to himself. Most of the students happily ignored the cost, since it was THE event to see and be seen at. That meant that a lot of cute girls wearing complicated clothing would be there vying for anyone's attention. Ataru wanted to be at that babe-fest so badly he could taste it. Now Ataru normally would not have had any problem sneaking into the social. Indeed, his skulking techniques were the stuff of study by various military special forces groups. However, this year the social was not being held on school grounds. Unfortunately for Ataru, the Mendou clan had volunteered their sprawling estate as the site for this year's social (hence the expense. Normally the social was only 500 yen a person). The unfortunate part was that the elaborate security setup on-site easily foiled all of Ataru's attempts at penetration. From a distance inside the gate, a white suited man watched the exchange. He chuckled to himself. Shutaro was enjoying Ataru's discomfort far too much to allow him on the estate. Also, the lack of commotion caused by Ataru's absence made the social all the more enjoyable (not to mention easier to manage). He turned his attention away from the weeping Moroboshi, and back to the bevy of gorgeous women that were jockeying for position in his field of vision. He looked around, and noticed that the one he hoped to see among them was not present. Troubled, he ignored the press of women as he searched for the one he could not find. **** A buxom young lady with dark hair and a biker's outfit stood outside the Moroboshi residence. Having failed on numerous occasions, she had given up on trying to reach Lum at her spaceship, and figured she'd find her here at that loser Moroboshi's place. She hoped that the lech wasn't home, so she could avoid having to soil her outfit with his blood. She was only there to see how Lum was doing, since they hadn't spoken in awhile. Ataru's presence would only cause an unwanted distraction. As she approached the front door, the whole house shuddered violently. Not wasting any time, she wrenched open the front door and threw it inside. Once in the house, she heard an electric discharge and what sounded like a wet explosion, then the sounds of a struggle. She bound upstairs as fast as her coltish young legs could carry her, mindless of whatever danger was up there. Then at the top of the stairs she heard a yelp, followed by some muffled talking originating from Ataru's room. She burst into the room just in time to see several black-clad figures. One had Lum draped over his shoulder. "What the hell do you bastards think you're doing with Lum?" she screamed as she charged, her bike chain in hand. The one with Lum on his shoulder yelled "GET THAT BITCH!" as he headed towards the window. The young girl fought them valiantly, but was unable to gain an advantage. She was outgunned and outmatched, and all too quickly several gloved hands made their way to her. Once she had been restrained, they tranked her and bound her up tightly. "What'll we do with her?" one of the faceless ones inquired. "I don't know. The Prince never said anything about what to do with eyewitnesses," replied another. "Well, let's take her along and let the Prince decide her fate," the first one suggested. "Good idea. Heh, two holes are better than one!" the second one said, fingering the biker girl's crotch before picking her limp body from the floor. **** Megane crawled over to his bed in terror, seeking refuge from his possessed closet by climbing under his blanket. Shuffling noises came from his closet, gaining in volume. `Whatever it is, it's getting closer!' he worried to himself. A figure in white made an entrance. An enchanting voice spoke from it. "Pardon me, but where am I?" Megane slowly pulled the blanket down from over his head so he could see, and saw the face of an angel regarding at him intensely. Gulping audibly, it took him a minute to find his voice. "Umm... you're in ... my closet?" he chanced. The figure shifted slightly, bringing a dainty hand to her perfect face to hide her mirth. She spoke again, hoping to alleviate this strange man's worry. "You appear distressed. Who are you?" He shifted nervously and said, "My friends call me Megane. And I'm distressed because my closet has never disgorged snow before. Or beautiful women, for that matter." He blushed furiously, as he realized what he'd just said. The young woman blushed slightly. "My name is Oyuki. I am the Princess of Neptune, and I am looking for my friend Lum." Comprehension dawned on Megane's face as he recognized the owner of the statuesque body standing before him. "Hey! I remember you now! Wow... I don't believe we spoke too much the last time we met," he mumbled. Oyuki moved out of the closet and approached the opposite side of Megane's bed. She wasted no time in removing her covering, revealing a much smaller outfit not unlike a one-piece bathing suit underneath. "I apologize for being so informal, but it was getting awfully warm in that heavy kimono. It is much warmer here than I am usually accustomed to," she said, indicating the heating vents as she spoke. Drool started forming at the edges of Megane's mouth as his eyes traced the elegant curves of Oyuki's svelte body, the swimsuit leaving little to his imagination. He struggled to speak. "I ... eh... I mean ... that's okay. Please make yourself comfortable," he stammered, hoping that he'd get somewhere with her by acting graciously "Thank you," she said politely, bowing slightly. Megane noted that as she spoke she never took her eyes off of his, and took that as an encouraging sign. "I apologize for appearing in your closet," she continued. "I was expecting to arrive at the Moroboshi residence, but somehow I got misdirected." "Ataru Moroboshi?" he said, slightly sickened. `Why does that jerk have such a penchant for attracting beautiful women to himself?' Megane despaired internally. "Yes. I was looking for Lum," she explained, seeing Megane's distaste. "A mutual friend told me that Lum was feeling down, and was not communicating to anyone off- planet. I thought that it was rather odd behavior for her, and decided to pay her a visit to see if there was anything that I could do to cheer her up." Oyuki stopped talking abruptly as she noticed for the first time that he was shirtless. She tried not to be obvious about it as she looked him over, and to her surprise she found herself liking what she saw. Scheming wheels turned in Megane's mind during the period of silence. `I would be the talk of the town if I walked into the social with THIS babe on my arms. Moroboshi, eat your heart out!' Megane snickered evilly and rubbed his hands together as if anticipating a major victory. He chose his words carefully, "Well, I know that Shutaro Mendou is having a party at his house. I would expect to see Lum there. In fact, I am heading there myself and would be honored if you would attend the social as my guest." Megane's confidence was building exponentially, he concluded with, "You could meet Lum there, if you wish." Oyuki was snapped out of her reverie at hearing Megane's voice, blushing slightly at being caught unawares. "Because of where I live, I do not get to attend many celebrations. Therefore, I gladly accept your invitation to the party, and your offer to act as my escort in locating my friend Lum," she replied grandly, bowing gracefully and extending a hand towards him. `Thank you, God!' he thought, exultant. With a smile on his face, he jumped up to his feet. But as he stood up, his blanket fell away. Unfortunately for Megane, with the blanket went the towel that he had worn from the shower. As he stood completely erect, he noticed two things. One, he was now standing thoroughly naked in front of a beautiful young woman who happened to be not only a member of royalty, but Lum's friend as well. Two, the Princess' hand, which had been intended to help him up, was now resting lightly against his exposed penis. He was too mortified to do anything but whimper. The Snow Princess was likewise locked in her current pose, shock evident on her face as her hand remained pressed against his rising member. A moment later she managed to say in a whispered voice, "Oh my..." **** Ataru cursed his luck. His hands would be deprived of the pleasure of groping/touching the warm skin of all of the kawaii women at the social. However his sexual frustration was not his only immediate concern, he was also very hungry. He could not remedy his hunger because everything in town was closed. In fact, nothing was going on tonight other than the social. So not only was he unable to buy his way into the social, he was also unable to buy away the hunger gnawing at his innards. "Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit!! Why me?!" he decried to the night sky. Ataru jumped nine stories when he got a reply to his question. "Have you looked in the mirror for your answer?" asked Cherry as he popped out of nowhere. "You should see how unlucky you look this evening." He checked his shorts to see just how badly he soiled them after the mumbling midget made his appearance. `Whew! No worse than usual,' thought Ataru as he returned his attention to the babbling monk. "How is it that you can appear at the times when it's most annoying Cherry?" Ataru asked in a pained voice. "FATE!!" "I should've known..." Ataru said sullenly. Cherry's presence could only spell doom for him some time in the immediate future. Seeing no easy avenue of escape, he accepted his future doom (whatever it was going to be) and walked with the monk. "I may be predictable but I'm usually right." Cherry said, ignoring Ataru's mood. "Anyway, you know where I can find some free food?" he said, his stomach completing a stanza from the `1812 Overture.' "You should be at home. Isn't Lum throwing you a party for your anniversary?" "I hope not. Her cooking stinks. I prefer starvation over death by food poisoning." "That sort of attitude can get you hurt Ataru. You know that. You should also know that it's wrong for you to be so hard on Lum. She loves you, Ataru. She wouldn't do anything to deliberately hurt you. Your hormones are just making you too blind to see the obvious." Ataru was taken aback by the Cherry's candor. Spoiling for a fight, he went on the offensive. "What the hell do you know about love, you eating machine! Look at how she treats me! She hounds me all the time, treats me like a lightning rod, makes a complete mess of my social life..." "You have no social life!" Cherry correctly pointed out. "That's NOT the point! Well, maybe it is. It's because of her interference that no-one wants to speak to me. All the guys are jealous of me because of Lum's infatuation. All the girls refuse to talk to me, especially Shinobu. We were going to get married before Lum showed up, for crissakes!" "Not true. Shinobu didn't propose to you until the last day of your infamous tag game with Lum." "True, but Shinobu proposed to me BEFORE Lum did! But now I'm engaged to Lum, and Shinobu hates my guts. Lum's got a voluptuous body, and Shinobu's got..., and... and... arrrgh!!!" Ataru yelled, pulling out his hair in frustration. "Regardless, you need to ask yourself the following. Who do *you* love?" Cherry asked. He eyed Ataru and grinned like a Cheshire cat. Ataru blushed wildly and looked up to the sky. "That's too deep for me, Cherry. I don't even want to THINK about that right now. I'm having enough trouble finding something to eat, much less sorting out my so-called marital problems." "Well, at least go home. It's a sure bet that you're not getting into the Mendou compound, so home is the only option you have left." "You're a real font of enthusiasm, you know that?" Ataru deadpanned. Then his face took on a stronger look. "What's Lum got waiting for me, Cherry?" he asked in a guarded voice. "I can't tell you; it's a surprise." the monk replied coyly. "You've already told me part of it you deranged monk! Spill it!" Ataru yelled, clocking Cherry on the head with his fist. "Well I have, haven't I? Anyway I'll let you figure out the rest of it. Bye..." he yelled as he dashed away from Ataru. "Wait!... damned monk." he yelled, but Cherry was nowhere to be seen. `Hmmm, Lum said something about wanting me at home by 6:00.' He looked at his watch . 'Damn! It's 5:55 right now, I've got to hurry!' he thought in a rush as he broke into a run for home. **** Shinobu was lost in the Mendou house. `1000 years and they couldn't create a map of the place? Figures!' she thought to herself. She was completely lost in fact. She had left more than half an hour ago and still couldn't find the bathroom. `Of the several hundred bathrooms that they're supposed to have in this place why can't I find one of them?' she asked as her frantic search for a rest stop in the Mendou complex continued. Several minutes and hallways later, she heard someone approach. "Shinobu, there you are! I've been looking all over for you." It was Mendou. "When I couldn't find you, I feared you had lost your way or that something might have happened to you." "Shutaro?" Shinobu asked with as much patience as she could muster. "I'm here," he said reassuringly, acting as her rock. "Bathroom?" she said through grit teeth, her eyes bugging out. "Oh yes, I see! Well, there isn't a public lavatory for quite awhile. Can you hold it?" "NO!" "Then we must resort to using one of the private stalls in one of the bedrooms. Follow me, Shinobu." Shinobu followed Mendou into one of the Quadrant's Master Bedrooms. As they entered, Mendou directed her to the toilet. "There you go." "Thanks" she said as she continued to do the pee-pee dance. "But of course my lady." A lightning-quick maneuver by Shinobu brought her into the bathroom, whereupon she gracelessly slammed the door and rummaged about to get on the toilet. From outside the bathroom Mendou heard a sound not unlike a downpour, then a huge sigh of relief. **** Ataru raced through the streets to get home. Lum was waiting for him, and probably mad as hell. He had to get there before it was too late. He glanced down at his watch as he ran up the sidewalk to his house. It was 5:59. `Good, I'm right on time,' he thought in relief. Straightening himself up he walked up to the door. He was stunned to find that the door was open. `Correction' he told himself. `Completely wrenched from its hinges and lying on the floor inside the house,' sounded better to him. Ataru's expression turned from one of surprise, to absolute anger as he realized what deep shit he'd be in when his parents returned from their vacation in America. The house was a complete disaster. `Add housekeeping to Lum's list of "Don'ts", ' Ataru thought sourly as he ascended the stairs to his room. "Lum?" he called out as he continued to his room. "Uhh, Lum...?" he tried again, puzzled when he got no response. As he reached the top of the stairs, he noticed that the door to his bedroom was in the same shape as the door to the front of the house. He was walking towards his room when the smell hit. It smelled like someone tried to dry a wet dog in a microwave. The stench became stronger as he continued towards his room. Ataru gasped when he saw the fried corpse lying on the floor near his bed. He panicked as he saw one of Lum's bikinis lying atop the ruined body. "Oh GOD NO! LUM!!!!!" he screamed as he bolted into his room and approached the charred corpse. As he knelt down before the body, he quickly realized two things. One, the body was definitely not Lum's. Two, the damn thing stunk worse than anything he could have ever conceived of. Ataru rushed over to the open window and threw up violently onto the lawn, gagging over the sight and smell of the corpse. It took several minutes for him to recover his senses. Slowly he pushed himself back inside from where he'd been hanging out the window. Holding his nose, he got the hell out of his room. Not looking where he was running, he tripped on his displaced bedroom door and fell downstairs. He really didn't care at the moment, however, since he was too concerned with getting away. Once he made it to the bottom of the staircase, his head impacted with the downstairs floor. One fleeting thought rushed through his head before he lost consciousness, "Where the hell are you, Lum?"