| / \___/ / / _____ (____ ____) / / | \_____ / /_/ __ \ ____| |____ ___/ /__ \_____ \ / ____/ ) \ (____ ____) <___ ___> \ \ / / / _) ____| |__ / / _) ) / / / /_ / _ _ \ / / __ _____/ _/ / / / // )( (_) / \_ \_ / /___/ / (________/ (___/ /_____/ \_____/ \__) /_________/ R * A * N * M * A Z by Ewen "Ryoga" Cluney Part 1: All In the Family Ranma � characters, etc. by Rumiko Takahashi Dragonball characters, etc. by Akira Toriyama It was a bright, sunny day in Nerima ward. As was the case every morning, Ranma Saotome and his father Genma were up from the crack of dawn training. They clashed again and again, on the ground or in mid-air, and exchanged blows with incredible speed. It seemed strange, somehow, that Ranma, who had faced and defeat- ed such opponents as the Dojo Destroyer, Herb, and worse, still was evenly matched by his father. Of course, Ranma didn't normal- ly use ki blasts or the Sweet Chestnut Fist against his father. "Are you two going to join us for breakfast?" asked Kasumi. The momentary distraction affected Genma more than Ranma, and Ranma managed to knock his father into the carp pond. The cold water quickly turned the aged martial artist into a sign- wielding panda, though that would only make him a more effective fighter, if only because of his increased size, and the fact that he had taken to bludgeoning Ranma with those damn signs. Something descended from the sky, like a blazing meteor. It landed in the middle of a construction site with a fantastic crashing noise, making a massive crater and obliterating a hand- ful of construction vehicles. Goro looked at the crater in disbelief. Whatever it was, it had just run up a bill in the millions of yen. He wanted to take a look, except that his knees wouldn't function properly. Final- ly, he looked for a weapon, and settled on a nail gun, then walked to the edge of the crater. A figure emerged from the capsule. It floated upwards, and landed in front of Goro. She had bright red hair, and wore battle armor of some sort. Over her left eye was a green scope of some sort. "So, the creatures of this pitiful planet are still alive." she muttered. "G-get back! I'll... I'll..." She sneered at him, and touched the side of the scope. "Your power level is pitiful; level 4." He pressed the button. She reached out, and grabbed. When she opened her hand, the nail was held between her fingers. "Here, catch." She flicked the nail at Goro with her thumb. He was easily sent flying, and slammed into a steel girder. She checked the scouter's readout again; there was a large population of weaklings, but she could detect one distinctly powerful energy signature. "Well, a high power level; 367. It must be Kakarot." She lifted into the air, and sped off through the cityscape. It was a busy day at the Nekohanten. Cologne was cooking up a storm, and Shampoo and Mousse were likewise serving. Suddenly, the old woman stopped what she was doing. Given that the old crone had nerves of steel and power to match, those who noticed found this to be disconcerting to say the least. "Great-grandmother, what wrong?" Cologne looked around nervously. "I sense a very powerful energy. It's a terrible power, something I have never encountered before." "Is that so?" All eyes turned to the woman who had just entered the cafe. Shampoo looked at the red-haired girl in surprise. "Ranma?" "My name is Kyuka." she sneered. The newcomer looked at Cologne, then tapped at the side of the scouter. "Hmm, power level of three hundred sixty-seven. I see this planet isn't entirely populated by weaklings." Kyuka took a step closer. "I'm looking for a man called Kakarot; I thought from your energy signature that you were him." Cologne waited. "What do you want here?" Kyuka laughed. "It is none of your concern, old woman. It doesn't matter anyway. Everyone on this planet will be dead soon." Cologne looked at her calculatingly. Whoever this was, she was very powerful. Her battle aura was powerful enough to be oppressive even when she wasn't fighting. This was bad, very bad. "Don't count on it." "If you don't believe me, let me give you a demonstration." She raised one arm. "I call this attack 'Keep Your Eye On the Birdie'. Now, keep you eye on the birdie..." The scouter beeped. "What's this? A greater power level? It must be Kararot!" And with that, she flew off. "This isn't good." muttered Cologne. It had been an entirely boring day at school, and wasn't likely to get better. Ranma tried desperately to stay awake, especially given that it was Miss Hinako's class, but was failing anyway. Suddenly, the hair on the back of his neck began to stand on end. Of course, this meant that his ponytail immediately sprang up. He could feel something. Something powerful and horrible. But somehow... familiar. Akane, noticing that he was actually awake, nudged him. "What is it?" He shook his head. "I-I don't know..." "Ranma Saotome! Stop talking out of turn!" Miss Hinako snapped. "It isn't polite!" "Gomen nasai." he replied with a short bow. Before she could continue, however, there was a fantastic crashing noise, as half the windows shattered, raining shards of glass on the students. When they dared to look again, they saw a woman, who bore a remarkable resemblance to Ranma's female form. She wore strange armor, and had some sort of scope over one eye. She looked right at Ranma. "I've found you at last." Ranma stood up. "Who are you?" "You've grown up, but I recognize you, Kakarot." That drew a lot of blank stares, not the least of which was from Ranma. "Kakarot? What do you mean?" She frowned. "So, you've forgotten. That would explain why you failed your mission." Ranma stepped closer. "What the hell are you talking about?" "Tell me something, Kakarot, did you ever suffer a serious trauma when you were a kid?" "What does that have to do with anything?" She growled and made a fist. "Answer me!" The volume of it startled everyone in the room, and Ranma was quick to answer. "Yeah, more than once. My dad kept covering me with fish and dumping me in a pit full of cats, for one thing." He looked at her suspiciously. "But what does that have to do with anything? Who the hell are you?!" "It's simple, Kakarot." she said with a sneer. "I'm Kyuka, I'm your twin sister." Several jaws dropped at once. "Ranma has a sister?" someone murmured. "Now wait a minute!" cried Miss Hinako, "I don't care who you are, I won't let you disrupt my class!" The tiny teacher pulled out a five-yen piece. "Happo Goen Satsu!" Kyuka waited. "Battle aura draining, eh?" She made her hands into fists and concentrated. "Let's see how you like this." The mists that flowed from Kyuka into the coin intensified, and became a raging torrent. Miss Hinako was wracked by energy and beams of yellow light streamed from her body. A shrill scream rang out. "Fool." said Kyuka. "My battle aura is too strong for you to handle all of its energy." Ranma's eyes tried to escape his head. This woman's battle aura overloaded Hinako-sensei's draining power, and she was still at full strength. "But what do you want?" Kyuka grinned. "It's simple. You are a Freyan Warrior, like me, among the greatest fighters in the galaxy. You were sent here to destroy all life on this planet. Since you failed, I've come to take you back into the fold." "Ranma's... from outer space?" Akane stammered. Kyuka nodded. "Kakarot is a Freyan Warrior." "But why was he supposed to kill everyone?" "Simple." Kyuka turned to look out the shattered windows. "We Freyans are sort of... planet brokers. We locate useful planets which will get a high price in the galactic market, and send our warriors to clean them up. For planets with strong inhabitants we send adults, but for ones with weaklings, like Earth, one of our babies is sufficient." She looked back at them and smiled. "But even if Kakarot failed, we'll still take this planet. Soon, everyone on it will be dead." Everyone present gasped. Except Ranma. Was he really an alien? Some strange being from another planet? But he knew both his father and mother, had baby pictures and a birth certificate! How could he not be human? Unless they were faked. Given the sort of things his father had done in the past, it wouldn't be all that surprising. "I don't care if I am from outer space. I don't have to destroy peaceful planets like you." "That is unfortunate." replied Kyuka. "You see, our home planet of Vejiita was destroyed. Only four Freyans remain, of which you are one. We cannot afford to lose you." "I would rather die that join a bunch of pirates like you!" Kyuka lifted off the ground, and hovered above them. "Per- haps, perhaps not. But if you refuse to join us, then you *will* die, brother. It would be a shame to let you power go to waste like that." "I'm not afraid of you!" shouted Ranma. "Really?" Kyuka lowered down almost to the ground. "Then why not take me down here and now?" Never one to turn down a challenge, Ranma charged forward. Before he knew what was happening, Kyuka was abruptly mere inches from him, and delivered a knee kick that sent him into the wall. Pain surged through his chest and stomach. "Incredible," Akane breathed, "she moved fast enough to leave an afterimage of herself..." "Akane, stay back!" Ranma growled as he picked himself up. Kyuka tilted her head to one side. "So pitiful, my brother. How can you be on such good terms with these weaklings?" Ranma staggered forward. "How can you only want death?" "I can see that this will require a little more persuasion than I thought. Very well." Kyuka swooped down, and grabbed Akane by the waist, easily lifting her into the air. "I you want to see her again alive, you must kill one hundred of the species on this planet by tomorrow. Goodbye for now, brother." And with that, she was gone. Ranma looked into the blue sky. Everyone else looked at Ranma. Was he really an alien of some kind? Based on what his sister had done, they all decided to back off a little bit. Except, of course, for Kuno. "Saotome! Is this true? Is the pig-tailed girl your own flesh and blood? You scoundrel! And now she has taken lovely Akane to some unknown place!" Blue Thunder pulled out his bokken. "I, Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, must punish you, you foul alien invader!" Ranma ignored Kuno until he actually swung, when Ranma delivered a kick to the face. "Lay off, Kuno." He had to go home. Ranma stalked into the dojo, and found his father playing shogi with Soun. He strode right up to the old man and grabbed the collar of his gi. "Hi there, 'pops', something really inter- esting just happened to me." "Now son, just calm down. Being able to control your emo- tions is a very important part of martial ar--!" "A girl who looked a lot like me showed up at school and said that she was my sister and that I'm an alien! Now, I'm sure you know something about this, so start talking!" Genma hung his head. "I knew something like this might happen one day." Ranma's grip didn't loosen in the least. "Go on." Seeing that his "son" wasn't about to let go anytime soon, he pushed his glasses up onto his nose and told the story. Not too long after Genma and Nodoka got married, Nodoka became pregnant. Unfortunately, not too long before the child was to be born, something began to go wrong. Unsure of what to do, Genma went for a walk. As he wandered the streets, he found a spaceship of some sort; inside it was a little baby. Because his real child was going to die before being born, he made a deal with the doctor to substitute this newfound child without his wife's knowledge. Ranma was speechless. Soun was not. "What a tragedy!" Soun cried, tears pouring from his face in quantities that could put out a fire. "That my son-in-law should be from another planet..." Soun stopped, realizing what he'd just said, then glared at Genma. "Saotome, you realize that you know- ingly had my Akane engaged to an extra-terrestrial. And you didn't tell me?" He closed his eyes, holding back tears. "Think of their children? What will they be like?" Ranma wasn't sure what to say. He had an opportunity to break off the engagement with Akane. But could he bring himself to do such a thing? And if not, *why*? Genma looked at Soun. "Tendo, look at my son, and tell me if you can see, if you can _feel_ anything wrong with him. Anything at all." Soun didn't stop crying, but shook his head. "You're right Saotome. Ranma, I'm sorry." "Now that that's settled, we have more important things to worry about right now." said Ranma. "Like my sister having kid- naped Akane." Soun's crying began anew. "Oh, poor Akane! What can we do?" "Tell me, Ranma, what does she want?" Ranma sighed. "She said that unless I kill a hundred people by tomorrow, she'd kill Akane." Genma stood up. "I know you can't do that, so there's only one option. You must face her." Ranma shook his head. "But how? She's just too strong. When Miss Hinako tried to drain Kyuka's battle aura, she was *over- loaded* by the amount of energy she pulled in." "What was that you said about a sister?" The three of them whirled around to see Happosai standing there, gripping a pair of panties in one hand. The master hopped closer to Ranma. "You have a twin sister? Is she cute?" As he glared at the old pervert, Ranma realized what had to be done. "That's it!" All present looked at Ranma. Kasumi poked her head out of the kitchen to see what was happening also. "Hey, old lech, I need your help." Happosai looked at Ranma suspiciously. "With... what?" Ranma knelt to get closer to the tiny lecher's height. "Now listen, my twin sister is incredibly powerful. If we don't stop her, she'll kill Akane, and then everyone else on Earth!" The old master turned away and harumphed. "Why should I help you fight her, eh?" This was all too easy. "Simple. If Kyuka destroys everyone on earth, there won't be *any* women left! And she'd probably get rid of all the lingerie too!" Happosai's already bulging eyes bugged out. "How terrible! Such a fowl villain! I *will* help you Ranma! I cannot stand by and let such a terrible thing happen!" "Good." said a voice. "I will aid you as well." They all turned, and saw Cologne sitting on top of the dojo's roof. She smiled. "This will be one of the most powerful teams ever assem- bled. Right, Happy?" Ranma nodded, cracking his knuckles. "Right. Let's go get her. We don't have much time." ------------------------------------------------------------------ by Ewen "Ryoga" Cluney (ryoga_hibiki@hotmail.com) Ryoga's Momentos Home Page: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/6127/ Good will always triumph over evil because good is cute! ------------------------------------------------------------------