If the thunder rolls for a while,
And the sky is clouded, bringing rain,
Then you will stay beside me.
Even when no thunder sounds,
And no rain falls, if you but ask me,
Then I will stay beside you.
- from "Dialogue Poems"
by Kakinomoto Hitomaru
Dreams of a Blue Sky
by: Jennifer L. Mondazzi
10/05/96
Part 4: Promises
"Here, wear this."
"What's it for, Okaasan?"
"It will protect you when the time comes."
"It will protect me?"
"Yes, but you must promise never to take it off. Can you promise me
that?"
"Yes, I promise."
The melodic ringing of a soft gong was what woke her. Opening her
eyes, squinting against the small amount of light there was, Aoi could
see the flickering of candles reflected off of the high-domed ceiling
far above where she lay.
<Where am I?>
The gong sounded lightly again, coming from outside of the room, and
the sounds of murmured chanting resonated through the walls. Aoi
struggled to sit up, but sharp pain wracked her body, as stars exploded
in front of her eyes. She moaned, and lay back down.
>
<What the hell happened?>
She struggled to sort through the thick haze which fogged her brain,
but finally, the memories returned.
Sakurazukamori had tried to kill her by attacking Taka-sama, her
shikigami. Subaru had somehow stopped him, but not before she had been
severely damaged.
She quickly brought her right hand up into view, and gasped. She had
lost her mother's ring! She cursed aloud, and attempted to sit up
again. The pain was stabbing in every part of her, but she managed to
keep herself up with her shaking arms supporting her. Taking a few
moments to adjust her swirling sight and to fight down the sudden wave
of nausea that threatened to overtake her, she noted her physical
condition.
Her clothes were gone. She lay only in her underwear. Her chest was
tightly bandaged, probably to support the ribs that she knew were
broken within. Her left upper arm and both wrists were bound also, and
small red stains could be seen slowly seeping through the white cotton.
Her right thigh and knee was wrapped, and as she reached up, she felt
the bandage around her forehead. Her fingertips stroked her stinging
cheeks -- small cuts, not too deep, and they would heal with no
scarring.
Summing up her massive injuries, both internal and external, Aoi knew
she was lucky to still be alive. She looked around the room once
more.
She lay on a simple pallet in the center of the room. The only light
came from an oil lamp, which burned brightly from it's metal stand in
the back-right corner of the room. Thin paper walls allowed her to see
the distorted shadows of those who moved along outside, their soft,
soothing chants clearly discernible from within the tiny room. A black
lacquered divider, depicting a scene of several monks fighting to put a
monstrously large oni back into its small box, stood against the left
wall. A small stand, supporting a water basin and jug stood next to
the divider.
The room's only door was in front of her, closed. She was alone.
<Where am I? Where's Subaru?>
She forced herself to stand, gritting against the massive pain. It
was difficult, but she managed it, and limped across the small room to
the basin. Fresh, cool water was already poured into the bowl, and she
carefully dipped her hands into it, brought her fingertips up to her
eyelids and pressed lightly. It was an old trick, but it worked.
Opening her eyes, she noted that the pain had dimmed, allowing her
sight to return with surprising clarity.
"Good, you're up."
Aoi started, her gaze flying to the open door. There, stood the old
spiritualist she and Subaru had been chasing. She looked him over
quickly, seeking what she did not know.
The monk's simple red robes adorned a small frame, his hands remained
hidden within the sleeves. He could have a weapon hidden within those
folds, and she was careful to seek some bulge that would confirm her
suspicions. He stood only slightly shorter than herself, yet there
remained an aura of power about him. It was not the same as the aura
surrounding Subaru, nor herself, but something that felt deeply more
spiritual, aged.
"Subaru was right. You're one of the Sohei?" It was more a
statement, than a question. The old man nodded once, and grinned, yet
offered her no more that that. "How did I get here?" Aoi demanded,
forcing her aching body to stand in a standard defensive posture. The
old man chuckled, entered the room and gently slid the door shut behind
him.
"Now, now, you're hardly in shape for fighting, and I am far too old
to be wrestling on the ground with a beautiful woman." He cackled
delightedly, "Although, such a prospect wouldn't be all that adverse to
me."
"Answer my question, old man," Aoi snapped, her tone cold. He
continued to stare at her, his small, dark brown eyes staring straight
into her, as if measuring her soul. She stared back, not willing to be
intimidated. He chuckled again, and smiled.
"You are indeed as stubborn as the young man had said you would be,"
he said, grinning. He seated himself upon the floor in one fluid
movement, his feet under him, his knees pressed against the hard wood.
It was a much practiced gesture, meant to put others at ease. Aoi's
frustration mounted.
"And where is Subaru?" she asked, refusing to drop her guard, despite
the sudden throbbing pain in her left shoulder.
"He's gone."
Her heart suddenly beat quicker, as an alarming, irrational fear
gripped her. Aoi tried to speak, to demand Subaru's whereabouts, but
the old man raised his hand and cut her off.
"I tried to stop him, but he wouldn't hear of it." The monk shook
his head and let out a deep breath. "However, he said he would be back
soon."
He'd left without her! How could she protect him if he continually
wandered away from her?
<Damn him!>
"When did he leave? Where did he go?" Aoi struggled to control her
shaking limbs. Her body ached immensely, but she felt the need to
move, to find Subaru.
"Yesterday, and he didn't say."
Aoi made up her mind, looking around the room quickly, searching.
"Where are my clothes?" The old man stared at her for a long time, not
saying anything. The sense of urgency caused her to lose her temper
quickly. "Well? Did you hear me?? Where are my clothes?!?"
The priest continued to look at her carefully, but she wasn't a bit
concerned, nor embarrassed by his scrutiny. A single thought kept
going through her mind: What if Subaru had gone after Sakurazukamori
for revenge?
"You can't go after him."
Aoi's blood went cold. "What did you say?" she asked, stunned into
cessation. She turned to look directly into the Sohei's eyes, but only
a solid, unfathomable pair of brown eyes looked back at her.
"Subaru has his own path to follow, as do you." The old man's voice
was harsh, loud in her ears. "You can be of no help to him as you are.
Your path is towards healing your body. That is the only way to
protect him in the long run."
Aoi knew he was right, yet still, something within her rebelled. Part
of her wanted to leave, to find Subaru, and to stand by him, but the
logical portion of her mind told her that she would be lucky to make it
to him. She was in serious condition. Suddenly, all of the aches and
pains burned, and she fell to her knees again, weakness overcoming
her.
Somehow, the old man was next to her, holding her limp hand in his.
She shut her eyes, shutting out the comfort he offered her.
"But...but, I must protect him," she argued, attempting to stand
again. Somehow she managed to fight against the massive agony, managed
to find her feet again, pushed the old monk away from her. Tears
welled in her eyes, as she tried hard to mentally fight against the
pain.
"You can do nothing for him now," he said, his hand coming around her
back to press against her. Too late, Aoi guessed what he was doing.
She felt the mild pressure in her mind, and her eyes closed of their
own will. Falling to the floor, unconscious, her last stubborn attempt
was silently spoken.
<Subaru!>
Again, she awoke with a pounding in her head, but this time, there was
no nausea, and her body did not hurt as it once had. She sat up, the
blanket falling to her waist, as she looked around.
"You're awake."
Aoi started at the familiar voice. She swung her head around to her
left, and there, sitting against the black lacquered divider, his knees
scrunched up towards him, leaning on his forearms, was Subaru. Her
eyes widened in surprise mixed with relief. She crawled across the
floor to him quickly, but once there, stopped her impulse to throw her
arms around him and hug him to her.
Something in his posture told her that wouldn't be a good idea.
She knelt in front of him, ignoring the throbbing in her body, and
could only stare at him. Her blood seemed to pound in her temples,
loud in her own ears. In the background, Aoi barely heard the soft
chanting outside the room.
"How do you feel?" he asked, his voice soft, his green eyes flat with
no emotion.
"Better," she replied, unsure of what to do or how to react. She sat
in awkward silence for a moment, before she spoke again. "You...you
saved my life."
Subaru said nothing, but his gaze shifted slowly down her body,
assessing her condition. When his eyes met hers again, a strange light
flickered in their depths. Aoi had no time to read anymore into it,
for at that moment, he silently held out his right hand towards her.
There, between his index and his middle fingers, was her mother's ring,
the blue of the sapphire twinkling at her in the room's soft light.
Her eyes widened in disbelief, and she gasped aloud in pleasure.
With shaking fingers she reached out for it, but he closed his hand
over it quickly. Stunned, she pulled her own hand back, looked at him
with confusion. He remained impenetrable, calm as he gazed back at
her. Silence stretched between them for several minutes, and Aoi's
breathing quickened unconsciously.
Suddenly, he opened his hand back up and held the ring out to her
again. Hesitantly, she reached for it again. This time, he did not
withdraw, and she took the ring from him, their fingers brushing
against one another as she did so. For an instant, she glimpsed
something fearful, yet exciting, emanate from his soul.
The sweet longing for death, combined with the burning desire for
love.
Then, it was gone, and he removed his fingers from her touch. When
she looked into his eyes again, the wall was back up, denying her
access to his thoughts and feelings once more. Subaru stood up
suddenly, and headed across the small room towards the door. As he
reached to open it, Aoi called out to him.
"Subaru!"
He stopped, not turning around. There was a second's hesitation,
while he waited, passively, for her to speak again. When she did, her
voice was soft and low, only for the two of them.
"Thank you."
For a second, Subaru did nothing, and Aoi held her breath, waiting.
Finally, he shrugged, slid open the door and stepped through. It slid
shut behind him, and Aoi watched his shadow through the thin paper
walls, listening to his footfalls until they grew faint, and finally
were gone from range. He had not turned back once.
Aoi sat there for a long time, staring at the door, then finally
glanced down at her mother's ring within her hand. Subaru had left all
those days ago to retrieve it for her. He knew how much the ring had
meant to her, and he had brought it back, uncaring of the possible
danger to himself. Silently, she vowed to pay him back for this one
act of kindness, this time, not moved to do so by prophecy and fate,
but by honor, friendship and love.
Carefully, she slipped the gold band onto her right ring finger,
cradled it close to her cheek.
"I promise not to take it off again, Okaasan."
TO BE CONTINUED...
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Author's Notes:
ALL FOREIGN WORDS ARE IN JAPANESE, UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED.
1. "Okaasan" means "mother."
2. A "shikigami" is a spirit companion. It usually takes the form of
an animal, and is said to be a reflection of it's master's true
nature.
3. The term "-sama" after a name usually refers to one who is greater,
older, wiser, or bigger than the speaker. In this case, the term
"Taka-sama" means "Great Hawk".
4. "Oni" means "demon," "devil," or "ogre."
5. "Sohei" are "great warrior monks of Japan." Legend says that they
split into two warring factions - one in Nara, and one in Kyoto.
Bitter rivalry began when the capitol moved from Nara to Kyoto
(influenced by the Chinese Tendai school). In the late 16th century,
the Shogun, Oda Nobunaga, teamed up with the Nara Sohei, and they
destroyed the vast Enryakuji complex of monasteries outside Kyoto. The
result was the near extinction of the Kyoto Sohei.
The characters Subaru and Seishirou Sakurazuka (Sakurazukamori) are the
property of CLAMP, 1993-96. The Sohei legend is the property of
William Tucci and Peter Gutierrez, Crusade Comics, 1996. All other
characters and situations are the property of this writer, 1996.