Lucas Muzzatti quietly entered his room and powered up his computer.

"Time to check the happenings on the FFML for today." He thought. "With 
all these anime characters showing up for revenge against us authors, 
it's only a matter of time before they get to me."

As if in response to that comment, a portal opened up at the far end of 
the room and several characters piled out.

"Oh, great, me and my big mouth." I thought.  As I surveyed the crew that 
entered I noted that not only one series was represented.  The cast that 
now faced me was made up of, Ranma, Akane, Ukyou, Shampoo, 
and Azusa from team Ranma.  And Usagi, and Uranus from team Moon.

Ranma was carrying a bucket, clearly marked Nyannichuan.

"Okay." I said.  "I suppose that you guys are here to take revenge on me 
for fics that I have yet to finish, right?"

"Uh-huh." Said Ranma.  "You were pretty low on the list, but after 
checking over what you posted today and looking at some stuff you did 
before, we decided you should have been a touch higher on the list."

I eyed the group.  *hmm, only 7 to one odds.  If I try to make a break 
maybe I can get them to get tyed up with each other*  A look from Akane 
made me drop that train of thought as it was clear she had anticipated 
this idea.

"Okay."  I said in a resigned tone of voice.  "Let's get this over with.  
I guess you'll want to tell me how I destroyed all of your lives.  Ranma, 
you start."

"Let's see." Ranma began.  "In your fist fic you have some guy throw a 
Katana at me and slice my pants off...in front of Akane..."  This elicits 
a round of giggling from those present and Ranma turns beat red.  "Hey!!  
It ain't funny!  Anyways, Then you kill Akane off in another fic and I go 
and get all introspective and try to kill myself.."  

"Hey but you didn't..."  I interjected.  

"That aint the point." He snapped.  "The 
suicide thing I can forgive, but me ...introspective?!?!  That's going 
too far.  Next you put me on a baseball team with this tomboy and the 
lost boy over there."  Ryouga snaps a pen he was holding at the reference.
"Then you make me do that stupid who's on first bit where I get 
pummelled, and worst of all you start writing a Star Wars/Ranma fic where 
I am not even the star."

"Are you finished!?"  I snapped at Ranma, by this point my legendary 
patience was beginning to wear thin.

"Yeah!" He snapped back.

"Okay, Akane.  Your turn."

"You killed me."  That was it, but the look she gave me could have killed 
lesser people.  As it was I was too pissed off.

"Next!"  I said.


Shampoo stepped forward.  "You make stupid Mousse grab Shampoo's chest, 
for that you get kiss of death."

"Hah!" I snickered. "The kiss of death is only for females."

In answer to that Ranma raised the bucket of Nyannichuan and I shut up.

"Oh...Yeah..."  I mumbelled feebly

Next Sailor Uranus stepped forward.  "And you used a horrible pun on me 
in the baseball story.  I believe it went something like: [Announcer] 
"And now batting, Sai-lor Ur-anus."

[Fan 1] "Who's anus?"
[Fan 2] "Hers is kinda cute."

"Oh..uhmm...yeah..." I stammered. "But I didn't even write that part, my 
partner did."

"Did you stop him?" She asked cooly.

"No." I said.

Next Usagi stepped forward.

"Hey, I didn't do anything to you."  I said.

"You made the annoncer make fun of me...WAAAAAAAAHHHHHH."  She wailed.

*great* I thought * I can see the headline now..."Boy drowns in bedroom, 
and he didn't even have a water bed".*

Usagi finally calmed down and we returned to my character assasination.

"Okay." I said.  "What are Azusa and Ukyou here for?  I know I haven't 
done anything to them."

"Oh, They are here as our way of helping you."  Akane piped up.

"Uh oh."


"Y'see, of all the authors we've...uhmm...helped, you pose the greatest 
threat, at the same time you pose the least." Ranma said.  "You have 
plenty of fanfic ideas which makes you a threat to us, but since you 
never seem to have the time to type them up we're safe.  So we're here to 
give you something to take up your time."

Akane spoke now.  "Ukyou has been gracious enough to volunteer to be your 
girlfriend for the time being.  We've kept a close eye on you and you 
seem to be on okay guy, you're just too creative for your own good."

"Well, that explains Ucchan, I, uhmm... can call you that...right?"

Ukyou smilled and nodded.

"So why is Azusa here?"

"Ohh! That mouse is so Kawaii!!  Bernard!  Ber-nar-ard!!"

"No!! You wouldn't..." I said.  I must have turned white.

"That's right." Said Akane. "We are giving your computer to Azusa, that 
way if you ever did get the urge, even with Ukyou around, you'd have to 
fight your Goddess for it.  That and the fact that since Azusa is your 
Goddess, you have to give it to her.  It's in the commandemants YOU wrote."

"Damn, she's right." I mumbled.  "Okay, now I guess you'll tell me that 
Ukyou will be staying here and you guys will be around to check on me.  
That and since my computer doesn't leave this room Azusa will be taking 
up extended residence."

"Yup." Ranma agreed.

 
"Well that covers everyone else, so what's the bucket for?"

At that Ranma launched the bucket at me, the water made contact and the 
tingle that everyone mentions when they write Ranma changing came over me.

"Gaaahh!!  What the hell did you do that for?"  I yelled.

"I just wondered how you would fell being oggled by boys."  Said Uranus.  
"BTW, you're kinda cute."

That was it, it was too much.  As someone once wrote "My rational side 
decided to pack it's bags and leave.  On the way out it took my 
consciousness with it."  In other words I fainted.

When I came to I was in my bed. *what a horrible dream* I thought. *I 
gotta stop reading all those revengefics*

As my vision cleared I saw Ukyou standing over the bed.

"Gaaahh!" was my only response.

"Oh, you're awake."  She said in a saccharine sweet voice.  "I thought 
you'd sleep all day."

"You...them...I...girl"  I said.  Then I looked at myself and noticed I 
was about half a foot shorter and a little better endowed than I'd been 
last I'd checked.  I pointed at my chest.  "Not a dream huh?"  I managed.

"Nope."  Ukyou responded.

As what had happened finally resolved itself in my mind, I looked around 
fearfully.

"Uhmm...Where's Azusa?" I asked.

"Oh, she went home for a bit, but she took all the cables to your 
computer so don't get any funny ideas." Ukyou responded.

"Well then." I said.  "Since it would appear I have some free time, would 
you like to go to a movie."

"Sure." Ukyou responded.

As I got up I noted that my clothes no longer fit me, well that and I was 
a girl. I looked in a mirror and was rewarded with a sight I'd always
hoped to see, a beautifull blonde blue eyed girl staring back at me.
Problem is, I was the blonde blue eyed girl.   I felt some
hot water being poured over my head and suddenly I filled out my clothes.


"Thanx Ucchan." I said. "So what would you like to see?"

"I dunno.  There's a new Van Damme flic playing."

"Van Damme it is."  With that we left my home and headed for the theatres.

As we drove along a plan was forming in my mind *Watch out Anime world.  
You may have set it up so I can't type at home, but I can at school.  
Ranma, I'll get you for turning me into a girl.*


Ja ne!

Ranchan

******************************************************************************
Lucas "Ranchan" Muzzatti
Science student at Univertity of Toronto     LONG LIVE AZUSA SHIRATORI!! 
E0FQ7Z7A@credit.erin.utoronto.ca (school)                  
Ranchan@mail.accent.net (home)

             High priest of the church of Azusa:  keeper of kawaii
                   and writer of the commandements of Kawaii.   
   
******************************************************************************