Chris Willmore stated:

                        LEG THE FIRST

Hmm, a hang over from the Holmes stories? ^_^

===============================================================================
			    THE WANDERER
===============================================================================

bacteria providing the only warmth... Meanwhile, my personality is housed in an 
immaterial  body that feels nothing physical, but gains strength with
emotions...  

immaterial and nothing physical is repetitive, though they don't quite mean the
same thing.

stones and obelisks, casting long straight shadows.  Tonight, they all point 

long, streight

	Every spirit knows the name of the killer of the dead.

I'm curious as to how Skeride seems to be the only one who has this title.
Surely here have been others in the past who could do what she does.  ie.
exorcisms.  However, the ghosts seem to treat her as something special.  Also,
I thought she couldn't tell if somebody was a ghost unless she touched them,
i believe.  This raises the question of how she was so certain this one
was a ghost.

	"NO!" It CAN'T be true! Yakume wouldn't... He...  The beads on my 

He..."

	"You may know me as the Wanderer."
	The Wanderer...

Hmm, this seems odd compared with what Ryouga says later about not wanting to 
take credit for his deads.  It might make better sense if she figures out who
he is, but he doesn't say so.  Ryouga doesn't want a reputation, yet, by 
using the name "Wanderer"  he builds one, one that doesn't have any of the 
bad things he'd done in life.  It just seems like a contridiction to me.

he had atoned for the evil in his life... He'd been a selfish, lazy lord who
paid 
no attention to his subject's pleas, sacrificing their comfort for his
luxury, and 
never leaving his palace walls.  After death he was compelled to go from
place to 

This wasn't bad.  It threw me off until I read about the Ki-attacks.

I'll make sure THIS hunt, and least, ends here."

I think you mean "at least"

	Instead, the spirit jumps and somersaults onto the top of my headstone 
and thrusts the tip of his weapon onto it.
	"Bakusai-ten-ketsu!"

Umm, i don't think Ryouga ever did that with his umbrella.  he used his finger.
He could shatter concrete sidewalks with it, but the wasn't the Bakusai-ten-ketsu.

	"I'll be seeing you again," she tells me with a smirk, "once you've had 
a proper burial."  I watch quietly as she turns back and begins to walk, 
melting invisibly into the shadows from which she'd come.

I assume that this means she can't excise a spirit if they aren't properly
buried?  then how does she do so to the teacher in Vision?  he certainly
wasn't buried.

	
Credits: Yippee! Finally, a story which is mostly my own! ;)
Nonetheless, I am indebted to Skywise for suggesting that the 'Wanderer' use
bandannas instead of an umbrella to deflect the first P'ur-bu toss...

Well, you can bethankful that i haven't had time lately to do much C&C for
the story being mostly your own.  Now, however...

==========================================================================
				BETRAYAL
==========================================================================
	

	First had come Ranma.  It wasn't so bad that he'd died; Ryouga
had always known his foolishness would get him killed, but to drag
AKANE with him...  

Well, my personal interpertation is that Ryouga doesn't really want to kill
Ranma and might hate to see him die.  Humiliate him, but not kill.  besides,
I can't wait to see Ranma and the Wanderer meet up in '2096 main line.

he'd found his outward lack of navigational skills to be only a pale 
reflection of his soul - Whenever anyone he cared for needed him, he
found it easier to be away, to be lost...

The only probalem with this is the fact that he also got lost on his way
to his fight with Ranma, and I've heard that it is a family trait according
to teh manga.

	Ranma had only been the beginning.  It hadn't sufficed to let
his first love and his greatest frie... Rival die.

See?  ranma and ryouga are friends, just the same way ranma and Akane are in
love.

<accidental snip of nabiki>
I also want to see the Ryouga/perdita meet up.  That could get interesting,
even though you'll need somebody to "translate" for nabiki.

	Somewhere else.
	He'd gotten lost on his way to the Afterlife.

LOL

	Ranma had never TRULY loved Akane; even in Death he had forsaken
her.  Ryouga would not do the same... He would find her, no matter how

Hmm, he didn't. but ryouga will never believe that the Jusenkyo pool kept 
Ranma back.  Wait a sec.  Ryouga would have had to have his Soul in two places
for it to be liberated from his body, himself, and SOD Pig.  His soul wasn't
realeased from jusenkyo like ranma's, so he's there as well.  however, this 
brings the question, what happened to the part of Ranma's soul that was in his
body? 

shirt, black trousers and leg-ties... The umbrella had proved a perfect
shape for channelling ki, and to finish it all off, he'd added a cloak..

Ahh, that explains the umbrella BTK above.

Flying Dutchman's.  When asked, he neither confirmed nor denied the
rumours... All that mattered to him was not to abandon those who needed

That line there is a perfect example of why i don't think he'd claim the
reputation as the Wanderer like he did in the story above.  It just doesn't
fit.

Well, he's my slightly belated C&C on these.  Sorry to take so long.
Next up is VISION, but it might be a few days.

BTW, have my .sigs convinced you about the proper way to write 'fics yet?
^_^

Wayne Pillion