Overall:  So far, a good story.

Grammar and Spelling:  Very good.  I think I will drop this catagory.  I
never seem to need it much, anyway.

Characters:  A good job on Akane, she still had her hair trigger temper,
wheras everybody else has matured.

General:  There were a couple of Akane 'thought' sequences that, unless
you read it twice, seem to indicate that they were said out loud, as
they were surrounded by quotes.  However, they fit as something she
would say anyway, so...

Waiting for part three, although I think I will review this 'fic every
two or three parts.  Gives more of a basis for review, and, it will save
me some time.  ^_^

-- 
Slashtooth@evnet.com
Remeber, No matter where you go, there you are. - Buckaroo Banzai
Applicant to the Holy Order of Ukyo
Member, Okonomiyaki's Anonymous.
Maker of Ryogaese maps - Everything's on 'em, somewhere.