Hmmm. This *could* fly, but I've still got some problems with it.
First of all, large parts of pretty astonishing plot developments
are glossed over too fast: The development of Kasumi's and
Mousse's relationship, Kasumi's kidnapping, Their son's curse.
Particularly the latter seemed strange. Is there any *point* to
it? Or is he just cursed because "curses are cool"? Too much
"tell", too little "show" for my tastes.
This entire part of the fic seemed to be written on fast forward.
What makes it worse is that you re-used quite a large piece of
part 1. This is not bad *per se*, but if you're going to do it,
*re-write* it from Kasumi's perspective: Perhaps she doesn't hear
everything that is spoken, perhaps you could show us her reaction
to the proceedings *while* they're happening, instead of a
paragraph appended at the end. This "Cut & Paste" way of re-using
material feels quite jarring.
Sebastian