Ranma Wars: Kunou Strikes Back.
Author's note: The Mt. View Hack would once again like to apologize to Rumiko Takahashi,
and George Lucas for the way I am twisting their stories and characters. If you don't
understand the plot, then you haven't been paying attention. This is a sequel to Ranma
Wars, a story in which I originally twisted the characters and stories featured below. I
offer no explanations as to how the characters of Ranma 1/2 got to "A galaxy far far
away," or how they ended up in a time "Long long ago". I also offer no explanation as to
how the Kunou family came to power. I just write 'em, I don't explain 'em. Some notes on
scientific disparity- First: In this universe, you can breathe vacuum. Second: This
vacuum creates no friction or turbulence.
On the human factor: Whenever a fighter crashes or blows up, (or any ship for that
matter) The passengers and crew can eject, and parachute to the nearest gravitary source
(vacuum DOES have friction on the parachutes for the same reason we don't know what
percentage of a cursed person has to touch water for them to change...) So, all of that
craziness out of the way, here we go with the traditional opening...
================================
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
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RANMA WARS
Episode II:
Kunou Strikes Back
The evil empire has been dealt a great blow from Ranma Saowalker and the rebel
alliance. The news of the Tembatsu star's destruction did not sit well with
Emperor Kouchou, and he has ordered his son, Tatewaki Kunou to pursue the rebels
and Ranma in particular to the corners of the galaxy.
The rebels, meanwhile, have set up a new base on Doth, a desolate, frozen
planet in a system of the same name. After the battle of Gabbin, the rebels
have fallen back to regroup, and hide.
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Pan down from a starfield, to show a star destroyer firing probe droids in seemingly
random directions. Cut inside. Kunou and some officers are standing on the bridge.
Officer: The probes are away, my lord.
Kunou: Good. Akane my love, they cannot keep us apart forever!
Officer2: Didn't the emperor tell us to bring Ranma Saotome to him? Isn't that our prime
directive?
Kunou: Fool! [grabs officer2, and shakes him] You follow MY orders!
Officer2: Y-yes, sir! Absolutely sir!
Kunou: Right, then. Anything yet?
Officer: No, sir. It will be almost a day before we get anything.
Kunou: We will be together soon, Akane Tendou.
Cut to Ranma riding across the frozen wastes of Doth on a Tauntaun.
Ranma: Echo base, this is Echo 1/2. I don't see anything yet. There's a cave I'm gonna
check out near here, and a meteor strike. See ya later!
Radio: [Akane] Okay. Don't take dumb chances though. We need anybody we can get!
Ranma: Oh, thanks. Echo 1/2 out.
Ranma rides his Tauntaun toward a hole in the ground. He dismounts, and walks toward the
hole.
Ranma: Hello? Anybody down there?
A large, white-furred creature jumps up in front of him.
Ranma: Uuuhhh... Bye!
Before he can run, or even fight, the creature whacks him in the head.
Cut to black. Cut back in on Ranma suspended from the ceiling. Ranma reaches up for his
feet, but they are frozen into the ceiling. Ranma brings his hands together, and then
extends them toward the ceiling.
Ranma: MOUKO TAKABISHA! (*1)
Ranma's feet come loose from the ceiling in a yellowish blast, and he falls on his head
in Takahashi inverted position #12. He then kipps up, and falls back down on his front.
The floor is made of ice. He starts crawling toward the entrance. The beast makes a
second appearance, and attacks.
Ranma: HIRYUSHOTEN HA! (*2)
The beast goes flying through the ceiling, leaving a hole. Ranma continues toward the
exit. He exits, and begins walking toward where he thinks he left his Tauntaun. It is
not there, and drag marks lead toward the hole. Ranma continues on. Cut back to inside
the base. Ryouga and Chewtaro are working on the lost boy in the hangar.
Ryouga: Chewty! [pointing] Weld THAT coupling! Yeah, I mean now!
Akane walks over.
Ryouga: Uh... Hi Akane! What's up?
Akane: Have you seen Ranma? He should be back now, but he hasn't checked in!
Ryouga: Oh... He must be around here SOMEwhere. Hey, deck officer!
Officer: [walking over] Yes?
Ryouga: Has echo 1/2 checked in yet?
officer: No.
Akane: It'll be dark soon. He won't make it through the night out there if he's in
trouble!
Ryouga: Don't worry Akane, I'll go get him!
Akane: You?
Ryouga: [walking over to Tauntauns] Yeah, me. Why? Whoop... No time now! Gotta go!
Ryouga rides out, only slightly under control.
Cut to Ranma, staggering through the snow. After a few steps, he falls over. A few
seconds later, Ryouga rides up.
Ryouga: Ranma, you wimp! Get up.
Ranma does not move.
Ryouga: [jumping down] Aw, come on. I can't let you die. You don't have a fighting
chance as it is.
Ryouga takes an ultra-thermetric tent and blanket from the Tauntaun's back. As he does
this, the Tauntaun takes off.
Ryouga: Man I hate Tauntauns.
Ryouga sets up the tent, and puts Ranma inside. The Wampa creature walks up. Ryouga does
not notice. The Wampa taps Ryouga on the shoulder. Ryouga spins.
Ryouga: Ranma? You awa... Gleep...
Wampa: Hey, it's cold! Can I stay with you tonight? Some jerk blasted me through my
roof, and it's snowing in my place.
Ryouga looks over at the tent which would be pretty crowded without the Wampa.
Ryouga: Uh... I guess...
Wampa: Great! [he ducks inside]. Hey! This is the Jerk!
The tent rocks a little, and Ryouga dives inside. The tent rocks some more, and the
Wampa goes flying across the tundra.
Wampa: You could have just asked me to leave!... [Whump]
Ryouga goes back inside. Fade to black as a light goes on inside the tent.
Radio voice: Echo 1/2 and Echo 6, come in please!
Fade in on a scene out the front window of a snowspeeder.
Radio voice: Echo 1/2 and echo 6, come in.
Cut to Akane at Echo base.
Akane: Both of those morons are completely useless. They're probably both gone.
Soun 3PO: Don't say that! (sob) They're both all right... I know it! (sob)
Akane: [softly] They're morons.
Cut back to the Speeder.
Radio voice: Echo 6 and Echo 1/2, come in. Where are they!
Ryouga: This is Echo 6! Glad you found us!
Out the window, we see Ryouga carrying Ranma. His tracks are... Random to say the least.
Fade to a scene of Ranma being lowered into a bacta tank. (not water)
Cut to Ranma, out of the tank. He is getting dressed. Akane walks in.
Akane: So just what happened out there? You were half frozen when Ryouga brought you in
here!
Ranma: Ryouga?!? You mean he kept himself straight long enough to get to me?
Akane: Amazing, isn't it?
Ranma: Yeah...
Ryouga walks in.
Ryouga: Hey you guys... There's some pretty weird reports coming in from echo 3. You
should come check them out!
Akane and Ranma: Right!
They all go out. On the way, Ranma finishes dressing in the familiar red shirt, and
black pants. They get to the control room.
Radio: Base, this is Echo 3. That meteorite seems to be mostly metallic... Wait! It's a
probe droid.... [blast, static]
Akane: Oh no...
Ranma: They found us!
Genma: Better call an evacuation.
Akane: Yeah... Transmit evacuation codes!
Everyone stops what they're doing. Suddenly, everyone runs out of the room.
Akane: [slightly trampled] I didn't mean just you!
Akane, Ranma, and Ryouga work at the controls for a few seconds. Then Akane looks at the
radar screen.
Akane: Imperial ground forces incoming! Everybody get ready to protect the base while we
evacuate!
Ranma runs out of the room.
Ryouga: Where are you going, you coward?!?!
Ranma: I NEVER run from a fight!
Ryouga: [grabbing Akane] C'mon! We better get outta here!
Akane: [being wrenched toward the door] Wait! Hold on!
Ryouga: [dragging Akane down the hall] No time!
They get to the hangar.
Ryouga: Chewtie! Finish up quick! Kunou's coming!
Cut to outside. Ranma is sprinting across the snow toward the approaching imperial
horde. As he meets his first resistance, he lets loose with...
Ranma: TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN!(*3)
While running. This clears out about fifty opponents as he runs by. Then he comes to the
first wave of AT-ATs. He utilizes a move of his known as...
Ranma: MOUKO TAKABISHA!
Which blasts through two of them. Then a blaster beam hits the snow just in front of
him, blasting him back. More bolts come at him, all just barely missing, but flinging
him back. Suddenly Ranma finds himself back at the base. He is so stunned by the blasts,
that he is near unconscious. A soldier runs over and drags him on board a transport. The
transport takes off, as does The Lost Boy. As they attain orbit, we see that there is a
fleet of 6 star destroyers waiting for them. Cut inside the Lost Boy.
Ryouga: [to radio] Transport 4... Get out of here to starboard. I'll get the princess
out another way.
Transport: [on radio] Why not just follow us?
Akane: [entering room] He couldn't follow you if he tried! Just get out of here,
transport 4.
The first spatterings of blaster fire are flying now.
Transport: All right, Lost Boy. Good luck!
Ryouga: Thanks... We may need it. Lost Boy ou-
The Lost Boy takes a hit to it's shields. The ship shakes, and various bits of equipment
spark.
Ryouga: Chewtie! Tie down that Intercapulator! We gotta go to hyperspace quick!
Chewtie: [from back] Grrraaaar!
Ryouga: [looking at Akane] Okay, Akane... Watch this! [Pulls hyperdrive lever. The
engine revs, but nothing really happens.]
Akane: Watch what?
Ryouga: Aw, great. All right, we'll have to run for it.
Cut to outside. The Lost Boy rolls and spins, weaving among star destroyers, and evading
TIE fighters again and again. However it doesn't seem to be doing any good. Soun 3PO
enters the cabin.
Ryouga: Hmm. This isn't helping much. All right, that's our only chance. [Pointing
toward an asteroid field]
Akane: Oh right. You really think you're gonna fly in there, hide, and get back out
without getting smashed or lost?
Soun 3PO: I don't like this at all! (sob) All this violence!
Ryouga: Get ready... We're going in!
The Lost Boy weaves and rolls around asteroids, trying to evade pursuing TIE fighters. A
few of the small craft are smashed against the rocks, their pilots ejecting. Quite a few
of the fighters continue to follow however.
Ryouga: This doesn't seem to be working.
Akane: You've got this flair for understatement, don't you?
Ryouga: All right... I'm going in closer to that big one.
Soun 3PO: Closer?!?! Are you mad?
Ryouga: Just watch.
The Lost Boy dives into a deep canyon, and the fighters follow. As the chase continues,
some of the fighters bounce off the walls, and crash. The canyon widens into a plain
with deep craters. The Lost Boy does a 3/4 loop, and dives into a large cave. The TIEs
miss the turn, and crash. The Lost Boy continues on into darkness.
Akane: I just hope you know what you're doing.
Ryouga: Me too.
Cut to Ranma sitting in the lounge section of the transport he was pulled aboard. He is
heavily bandaged, and appears to be in pain. Genma walks in, eating as usual.
Genma: Ranma, my boy... That was just heroic, what you did on Doth. Truly worthy of the
name Saowalker!
Ranma: Oh, just shut up, pop. I didn't do anything.
Genma: Don't be modest, boy! The only thing you could have done better is be at the base
to get Akane out. It's all right, Ryouga got her out on the Lost Boy, but-
Ranma: Ryouga?!?! Then she's lost for sure-
The ship rocks, as though it had been hit. It rocks again, and the engines shut down.
Genma: Oh, what is this? Back to the beginning of the first story?
The ship starts to fall out of its orbit, denoted inside by rocking and spinning. The
ship crashes, and Ranma and Genma are the first ones to the door. This is because
everyone else got out in escape capsules. The planet is swampy, and from its look, not
real hospitable.
Ranma: This must be what Ryouga feels like whenever he goes anywhere.
Cut to Ranma and Genma in a makeshift camp. Genma is eating leftover in-flight food.
Ranma is fiddling with the emergency radio. He is apparently not having much luck.
[coronal discharge arcing from radio to Ranma to ground.
Genma: It was a good thing we could avoid that bog. I doubt we could get much hot water
here.
Ranma: [recovering] Y-Yeah... A G-g-goood thing-ing.
Sound: Heeeeyaaaaa!!!
Ranma and Genma: What was THAT?!?!
Sound: HeeeEEyIIIIaaaahhh!!!
Genma: It's familiar somehow... No. It can't be.
Yodasai: Genma!!! [dropping out of the trees onto Genma] It's been Years!!!
Genma: Oh, no.
Yodasai: Genma! Who is this young man?!?!
Genma: Uh... This is Ranma... My son.
Yodasai: Son? Well. It HAS been a long time, hasn't it?
Ranma: Who is that, pop?
Genma: Ranma... This is master Yodasai. My sensei.
Ranma: THAT? No wonder you're so pathetic.
Genma flings a pan at Ranma, and Ranma falls backward into the bog.
Ranma-chan: Hey! What'd you do that for?
Yodasai's eyes nearly pop out of his head.
Yodasai: Pretty.... Lady....! PRETTY LADY!!!
Yodasai runs at Ranma. Ranma punts the little man into the trees.
Ranma-chan: [getting out of water] What was all that about?
Genma: Well... Yodasai has always been a bit... of a... lecher.
Ranma-chan: No kidding.
Genma: He'll be back after a while. He's probably in the ship already, pilfering the
clothes drawers of the female crewers.
Ranma-chan: [getting pot for water] That's... That's... sick.
Genma: Yes, but he is my master.
Ranma puts the pot on, and it heats. Ranma pours some of the water on himself, and then
puts the pot back. Yodasai wanders out of the background, carrying a stuffed sack.
Ranma: So what have you got there old man?
Yodasai: Only the most incredible treasure in all the universe!
Ranma: Oh, yeah? What's that?
Genma: You don't want to know.
Yodasai: Say... Where is that red-haired beauty?
Ranma: Huh?
Genma: Don't worry about her.
Yodasai: No... Where is she? Say... [looking at Ranma] You look a lot like her. Is she
your sister or something?
Ranma: No...
Cut to Ryouga and Akane working on the navigation system.
Ryouga: [hitting some switches] There. The intercounteroticers are set.
Akane: Right. [hits some buttons] The third brain is programmed. All you have to do is
hit the levers, and we should be gone.
Chewtie: Ro reah?
Soun 3PO: I for one have complete confidence in Akane's abilities.
Ryouga: All right. Let's get out of here. Er... Anybody remember the way?
All point aft. The ship turns around, and heads for the surface at top speed. The Lost
Boy blasts out of the asteroid.
Cut to aboard the star destroyer. Kunou is sitting on a throne-type thing. An officer
walks out in front.
Kunou: Yes?
Officer: Sir, the emperor wishes an audience, via hololink.
Kunou: Very well. Take us out of the asteroids so as to attain a clear transmission.
Officer: Yes, sir.
Cut to a scene of Kunou walking onto a transmission pad.
Kunou: Yes, father? What is it?
Kouchou: Kunou... You are my pride and joy. I know you can accomplish this task for me.
Ranma Saowalker must not corrupt the empire with his irreverence. The ultimate
manifestation of this is his pig-tail. If you take it, he will lose any influence.
Kunou: Yes, father. However, I have a side agenda which may help both of us. Akane
Tendou is one of the most influential leaders of the rebellion. I wish her. Do I have
your permission to pursue this angle?
Kouchou: You do me proud, Kunou. Yes, you may pursue this. But the haircut of Ranma
Saotome must come first. The rebellion must be stopped. Aloha, my son.
Kunou: Goodbye, father.
The hologram fades. A few seconds later, the officer returns.
Officer: Sir! We've found the Lost Boy!
Cut outside. The Lost Boy is flying ahead of a group of star destroyers. It is bobbing
and weaving around asteroids. A couple of seconds later, the Lost Boy clears the field.
Cut inside.
Ryouga: All right... Let's go! [pulls levers]
The engines rev, but nothing happens.
Akane: [slapping her head] Oh, no... we were so interested in the nav system that we
forgot to fix the hyperdrive!
Ryouga: Chewtie! Put all the power into the front shields. We're coming around!
Akane: We're going to attack them?!?
Soun 3PO: The odds on such an attack are-
Akane shuts him down.
The Lost Boy does a bootleg turn, and jumps back toward the destroyer.
Cut to on board the destroyer.
Officer: They're attacking?
Officer2: Shields up!
The Lost Boy passes close to the command tower.
Officer: Track them! They may come around for another pass!
Officer2: They've disappeared!
Officer: Where are they?!?!
Cut to outside. The Lost Boy is attached to the back of the control tower. Cut inside a
room with a window near there. An old man looks out the window, then tosses the bottle
he is holding across the room. Cut aboard the Lost Boy.
Akane: So where'd you learn that trick?
Ryouga: I saw it in a movie once...
Akane: So, what now?
Ryouga: Well... We wait, and when they dump their trash, we float away with it. From
here we go to Gespin.
Akane: Wow. What a great plan... Say... What's so special about Gespin?
Cut on board the destroyer. Kunou is talking to bounty hunters. One of them is Ukkyo
wearing a mask.
Officer: [whispering] Bounty hunters? We don't need that trash!
Officer2: Right, sir.
Kunou: The empire will pay 500,000 credits to the one of you who brings in Ranma
Saowalker, Ryouga Solobiki, and Chewtaro. Also, I personally will pay 1,000,000 credits
to the one who brings in Akane Tendou completely unharmed. [draws sword] Anyone who
harms her will be subject to my wrath.
Cut back to inside the Lost Boy.
Ryouga: Okay... We got the hyperdrive fixed, and reset the nav system. We're ready.
Akane: Good thing. It's time.
Ryouga: Okay. Chewtie, disengage the locks.
The locks disengage with a clank, and the Lost Boy floats away amongst the trash. A few
seconds later, the destroyers jump to hyperspace. Then, the Lost Boy turns, and jumps to
light speed. A spatula-shaped ship also turns, and heads in the same direction. Cut back
to the swampy planet. Ranma and Genma are working on the radio.
Ranma: Hey, pop. I didn't know you knew anything about fixing radios!
Genma: This too is part of the anything-goes style of martial arts. During the Clone
Wars I was called upon to make some pretty hasty repairs, and my rice and cabbage was
the best in space!
Ranma: [looking over at cooking supplies] You might have slipped a little, pop.
Genma: It doesn't matter... We're done!
Genma flips on the radio. At first, only static. Then he fiddles with the controls, and
a voice comes through.
Radio: Ukky-fett calling star destroyer "Wrath", come in.
Radio: Ukky-fett, this is "Wrath". What is it?
Radio: "Wrath", I have found your perpetrators. They are headed toward Gespin, to the
cloud-mining facility.
Radio: Congratulations, Ukky-fett. We will have your reward waiting when we arrive.
"Wrath" out.
Ranma and Genma look at each other in surprise.
Ranma: Aw, man. I knew there'd be trouble when Akane went with Ryouga.
Genma: We have to get to Gespin as soon as we can!
Genma fiddles with the radio some more. Cut to the Lost Boy coming in for a landing at
Cloud City. They land, and the hatch opens. Our characters exit the ship.
Soun 3PO: Hmm. No greeting party.
A door in the side of the city opens, and four or five people walk out. One of them is
Mousse. The party walks toward the ship.
Akane: I don't like this.
Ryouga: Relax, Akane. This is Mousse Calrissian. We go back a LONG way.
Chewtaro: Rrreeedgrr.
Ryouga: I'm sure he's forgotten all about that by now.
Mousse stops about 15 feet from the ship. Ryouga goes out to meet him.
Mousse: Who are you?
Ryouga: Put your glasses on, you moron.
Mousse: Oh. [he does] Ryouga! You've got a lot of nerve coming here. How many tries did
it take?
Ryouga: Three.
Mousse: You old space-pirate! So how you been?!?!
Ryouga: Oh, I been around.
Mousse: So, who's the lady?
Ryouga: Oh... That's Princess Akane Tendou.
Mousse: Really? [he moves over to her and kisses her hand. Akane face faults] Hello,
your highness. One of your beauty really does belong with us, among the clouds.
Mousse moves off a bit.
Mousse: If you'll follow me, we'll get you to some comfortable quarters.
Mousse removes his glasses, starts cleaning them, and walks into the wall next to the
door.
Mousse: Oh... Excuse me!
He walks inside. Ryouga, Akane,and Chewtaro follow, with Soun 3PO bringing up the rear.
They walk inside.
Akane: I don't trust him.
Ryouga: I don't trust him either, but he IS my friend.
Akane: Is that supposed to make me feel better?
They continue on. The view shifts to Soun 3PO. He hears a warble that sounds a lot like
Gentoo from a door to the right.
Soun 3PO: Gentoo? It can't be...
He walks into the room.
Soun 3PO: Gentoo? Is that... Oh. Hey, now, we can talk this over! wait, don't get up, I
was just-
Cut to outside the room. We hear a blast, and a couple pieces of Soun 3PO fly to the
doorway, stopping just inside. The door closes. Chewtaro walks back, to find the door
closed, and Soun 3PO gone. He shrugs, and goes back the way he came. Cut back to
Daggobaw. Ranma and Genma are standing around a signal beacon waiting for a ship.
Yodasai is hopping madly about, ranting about how he would be free again, and how the
female population of the galaxy should watch out.
Ranma: Has he always been like that?
Genma: Yes... [various flashbacks from Genma's days training with the old man] I believe
he has.
Ranma: Just how hard would it be to leave him here?
Yodasai: [stopping just long enough to be heard] Impossible! I am the master of Anything
Goes Martial Arts! I am unstoppable!
Genma: I am afraid he lives up to his boast. Though small, and annoying, he is very good
at fighting.
Ranma: Oh, sure. Watch this. TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN!
Yodasai: Oh, yeah? [dodging all of the blows, one at a time] HAPPO GOEN SATSU! (*4)
Yodasai traces a circle in the air that glows, and a yellow aura goes from Ranma to
himself. After a few seconds, Yodasai lowers his hand, and Ranma sort of slumps to his
knees.
Ranma: [weakly] So... Weak. What'd you do, old man?
Yodasai: Oh... Only temporarily stole your fighting aura. Without it you are harmless,
and undefended.
Ranma: So... Pop was right... [Ranma goes face first into the muck. [also not actual
water]
A small escort ship lowers itself to the ground, and the three go on board, Ranma being
dragged. The ship takes off, and we cut back to cloud city. Chewtaro is searching
through trash, much to the consternation of some small humanoid aliens. Chewtaro finds
Soun 3PO's head, followed quickly by the rest of him. Chewtie carries the
discombobulated droid back to the apartment they had been assigned. Akane is sitting on
a couch on one side of the room. Ryouga walks in.
Ryouga: Hey! Mousse tells me that the ship is almost ready. There was some serious
damage in the hyperdrive.
Akane: For some reason, I don't trust Mousse. [points to Soun 3PO]
Ryouga: Aw, geez... what happened?
Akane: Chewtie found him in a trash pile.
Chewtie: Gorrah.
Ryouga: Yeah. Maybe he hasn't forgotten about that...
Mousse walks in. He is not wearing his glasses. He turns to Ryouga, and tries to kiss
his hand, but Ryouga flicks his wrist and Mousse goes over backwards.
Ryouga: Put your glasses back on. THAT'S Akane, over there!
Mousse: [getting up] Huh? [puts on glasses] Oh. Well, anyway. Anybody up for dinner?
Everybody's invited... Say. Having some droid problems?
Ryouga: No! no... C'mon. Let's go.
They all walk out of the room, Chewtaro leaving a rather disorganized Soun 3PO on the
table. They walk down the hall, and the conversation fades in and out, mostly about
mining and big money deals. The conversation clears as they get to a door.
Mousse: So it is a problem, but I just made a deal that will keep the Kunous out of here
forever.
The door opens, and we see Kunou standing on the other end of a long table.
Ryouga: [stretching hands out before him] SHISHIHO-
A guard sort of appears next to Ryouga, and grabs him in such a way to stop his move.
the camera pans down slightly, and we see that it is Sasuke.
Kunou: Oh, dear. I had so hoped you all would join me peacefully for dinner.
The door closes over the camera, and we cut to a scene of Ryouga strapped into a chair,
facing a large stereo setup.
Stereo: The complete poetic works of Tatewaki Kunou, a 12 volume set. Volume one. "And
it so falls out that what we have...
Kunou, who was in the room (but apparently quite missable) walks out. Next to the door
stands Ukky-Fett. Screams of agony have started to come from the room as the door
closes.
Ukky-Fett: Hey, Kunou. This guy's not worth anything to me dead. I need him alive.
Kunou: Don't worry... He is only enjoying my poetry. If anything he will come out better
than when he went in.
Kunou continues down the hall until Mousse walks up.
Mousse: Hey. This wasn't part of the deal. Torture is just wrong.
Kunou: I am altering the deal. Perhaps you feel I am being... less than noble?
Mousse: [slightly intimidated] ...Uh...no.
Kunou: Good. I would be greatly saddened to know I was behaving in a manner unbecoming
of a samurai.
Kunou walks into what looks like an elevator, and the door slides shut. Cut to a room
that looks a lot like the one from before, but decorated in blacks and browns instead of
whites. Akane and Chewtaro are in here. A door in the wall opens, and Ryouga nearly
flies in. Akane and Chewtaro run over, and put Ryouga on a slab that slides out of the
wall.
Ryouga: Unnnh... I feel terrible.
Akane: What'd they do to you?
Ryouga: Poetry. Hours of it in only minutes...
Akane: That's... Horrible!
The door opens again, and Mousse walks in, escorted by guards.
Mousse: [going to Akane] Ryouga... I...
Akane spins him, and tilts him to be looking at Ryouga.
Mousse: I did everything I could... Kunou has agreed that Akane and Chewtaro can stay
here.
Akane: Kunou's a psycho. Who knows what he really wants.
Mousse: [straightening] He wants some guy called... Saowalker, I think.
Ryouga: [weakly] Ranma? Heh. He can have him for all I care.
Mousse: I don't think it would matter if you did. You are going to be given to some
bounty hunter. I'm sorry I couldn't do more, but at least...
Ryouga: Yeah, you're a real hero.
Ryouga leaps toward Mousse, who quickly produces a giant wok to shield himself, and the
guards whack Ryouga with sticks.
Mousse: STOP! Look, Ryouga, I did the best I could, but I've got my own problems.
Mousse walks out, followed by the guards. Cut to a small freighter (very, VERY small)
approaching the planet. Cut to the carbon freezing room of the city. Mousse and Kunou
are inspecting the device, being shadowed by Ukky-Fett.
Kunou: Yes... Though not a part of the way of the samurai, this unit will provide for
the capture of Ranma Saowalker.
Mousse: But... We only use this for freezing vegetables! If you put him in there, he
might die!
Kunou: I do not wish my father's prize to be dead. We will test it on... Solobiki.
Ukky-Fett: Hey... What happens for me if he dies?
Kunou: Do not worry... You will be reimbursed in that contingency. Bring the prisoners
to me.
Cut to the cell. Chewtaro almost has Soun 3PO together. He is functioning, although
missing legs, and is sobbing over the loss, and the unfairness of it all. Mousse walks
in, accompanied by guards. The guards take them.
Akane: So, what happens now?
Mousse: [worried look] Ryouga is going to be used to test the carbon freezing process.
Ryouga: WHAT???!!!
Ryouga struggles, but is held fast by about four guys.
They are marched to the chamber. The Chamber is prepared for use by more of the short
aliens. Then Ryouga is placed on the platform, tied, and gagged to disallow his moves.
Akane looks on sadly. Soun 3PO, who is strapped to Chewtaro's back, has once again begun
to sob. Kunou gives a "thumbs down", and the machine is started. Chewtaro looks over at
Akane, a look of concern coming over his cowlike face. Ryouga continues down into the
hole, struggling all the way. Steam rises around him, eventually obscuring him
completely. There is a loud KLUNK, and a hiss. Huge grippers come down from the ceiling,
and grab and lift a square slab. Apparently Ryouga got free of his bonds at the last
minute. He is in a pose that could herald his "Bakusai ten Ketsu(*5)", with his hand
cocked back to punch the ground, and a determined, yet slightly cold look on his face.
Akane: Oh, no...
Mousse walks over to the side of the slab, and looks at some controls on the side.
Mousse: He's dead!
Kunou runs over, and checks the thing himself.
Kunou: Put your glasses on, fool. He is not dead. He is in fact very well. [motions to
Ukky-fett] He is yours.
Kunou motions to the slab, and four stormtroopers pick it up, and carry it away.
Kunou: And put the princess... and the Chimera on my shuttle.
Mousse: Hey, wait a minute! You said-
Kunou: I am altering the deal. You shall be fortunate if I do not alter it further.
Mousse turns, and glances at a bald guy with a metal ring around his head. The guy nods
slightly.
Kunou: Reset the chamber. Ranma Saotome will be here soon...
Officer: Sir, a freighter has just landed at the south pad. Ranma Saotome and Genma
Saotome are confirmed to be aboard.
Kunou: Good. Make sure Ranma finds his way here...
Cut to Ranma and Genma walking along a hall.
Genma: Well. This looks as though it were the ideal vacation spot, don't you think
Ranma?
Ranma: ... [looking around]
Genma: Ranma?
Ranma: Huh? Oh... Yeah. I-
A platform in the floor shoots Ranma through a hole in the ceiling. Ranma finds himself
in the Carbon Freezing Chamber.
Ranma: ...Guess?
Ranma walks around a little, until he hears a voice.
Kunou: And so the battle was singularly joined, as battle is battle, and love is love...
You shall not live to marry the fair Akane, not that you would deserve to. It is I,
Tatewaki Kunou that shall entrance the heart of such a beauty.
Ranma: So you gonna talk or fight?
Kunou: Hoisted by my own petard. Yaaaa!
Kunou jumps down from where he was on the steps, sword back over his head. Ranma dodges,
and Kunou's sword penetrates the deck. Kunou quickly recovers and slashes to the side.
Ranma jumps back to avoid the blow, and then forward to push Kunou into a previously
unseen hole. As Ranma is in the air, cut to Akane, Chewtaro, and Mousse, walking down
the hall accompanied by guards. Mousse takes a small transmitter out of his robe and
pushes a few buttons. Cut to the bald guy, who looks like somebody force fed him speed.
At the next intersection, a platoon of soldiers falls upon the group, incapacitating the
guards. Mousse turns, and takes the binders off Akane, then Chewtaro. Chewtaro quickly
grabs Mousse by the throat.
Mousse: Ryouguh... Still a chance...
Akane: What's he saying?
Mousse: There's still a chance to save Ryouga... at the east... Platform...
Akane: Come on Chewtaro.
They run off down the hall, leaving Mousse slightly less than 100%. As they run, Genma
joins them.
Soun 3PO: Saotome! What are you doing here?
Genma: Well, I-
An old woman along the side of the corridor suddenly splashes him with cold water, and
Genma changes.
Soun 3PO: Don't feel so bad... Look what happened to me!
They get to the room just off the east platform. The door on the Baker I is just
closing, and the ship is starting to take off. We see Ryouga, frozen, inside. They shout
at the ship to stop, but there is no effect. Mousse catches up.
Mousse: Come on. Let's get outta here.
Akane: Why should we trust you?
Mousse: Well, there was the daring rescue in the hall back there...
Akane: OK. Gentoo, plug into the city computer, and find out what's going on.
Gentoo does. He accidentally mistakes a power output for the interface, however, and
gives himself a blast of 120. Mousse goes over to a computer terminal and pushes some
buttons. A microphone pops out, and Mousse takes it.
Mousse: [to microphone] Attention everybody. I would advise everybody to leave before
more Imperial-types show up. That is all.
Mousse puts the microphone away.
Mousse: Come on. [grabs Akane]
Akane: I'm getting a little sick of being grabbed and dragged!
They run down the hall, amidst fleeing cloud-citiers. They finally get to the landing
pad. Some imperials show, and they start firing. Mousse turns, raises his arm, and a hen
pops out of his sleeve. The hen lays some eggs, which Mousse catches in his other hand.
Mousse then brings his hand back to throw...
Mousse: KEDOKEN!(*6)
Mousse tosses the eggs, and they explode, tossing imperials everywhere. Gentoo hooks
into the computer, and after a few seconds, he reacts in alarm.
Gentoo: The Hyperdrive!
Mousse: We don't have time for this! We gotta go NOW!
They run toward the ship, and more Imperials show up. Mousse turns and flings a group of
small boomerangs at them. The boomerangs hit them, and they fall, unconscious. They
return to Mousse who catches them, and pushes his glasses up. He then runs up onto the
ship. The ship lifts, as it is fired at by imperials. The ship leaves, skimming across
the clouds. Cut to Ranma walking through what looks like a power-shaft control room.
There is a large window in one wall, other than that, the room is all purple and matte
black. Ranma walks around, looking for Kunou. suddenly...
Kunou: And so it is that the spider has nothing to fear from the fly, as the fly's
circumstance is the opposite... Stand and fight, fly.
Ranma: Kunou. What did you do with Akane and the others?
Kunou: It doesn't matter now... But I will tell you that your friend Ryouga has been
put... On ice, so to say.
Ranma: What?!?!
Kunou: He is not dead... Yet... But I fear that Clobber the Gutt will not be so lenient.
Ranma: You moron.
Ranma attacks with a jump kick, which Kunou dodges. Kunou spins, hitting Ranma with the
flat of his sword, knocking Ranma through the window. Kunou walks over to the window,
and looks down. Cut to a catwalk over the inside of the city's repulsor unipod shaft.
The shaft goes down a long, long way. Cut to Kunou walking out on the catwalk. Ranma is
already there. Kunou attack Ranma, and Ranma jumps back, almost missing the catwalk.
Kunou attacks again, and Ranma climbs out onto the structure of the catwalk.
Kunou: Ranma, you know you cannot defeat the empire. We only want to take your hair.
Give up and we will not harm you. In fact, we'll give you a post in the government.
Ranma: Oh, yeah? [face picks up, then drops] What's the catch?
Kunou: None. And I will even allow you to attend the wedding of myself, and the fair
Akane!
Ranma: Yeah, right. [pushes off]
Kunou looks down to watch Ranma fall. Ranma steers himself on the way down, and lands in
a tube, and slides for a while. When he stops, he tries to get up. The floor drops out
from under him, and he falls out the bottom of the city. The Lost Boy just happens to be
going underneath at the time, and Ranma falls on top. The top hatch opens, and Ranma
goes in. The ship hauls jets for space. When they make space, they find that there is a
star destroyer waiting for them.
Mousse: [piloting ship] Okay... Let's get out of here. [he pulls the hyperdrive lever,
nothing happens] It's not my fault...
Chewtaro whacks him in the back of the head, and goes back to work on the engines.
Mousse: It's not my fault!
TIE fighters are beginning to fire at them now. Chewtaro is working furiously on the
Hyperdrive. Genma is working on Soun 3PO.
Genma: The hyperdrive is only deactivated!
All: How would you know?
Genma: The city computer told me! Watch! [pushes button marked "Hyperdrive activation
switch".]
The ship pitches up, as it jumps to hyperspace, and safety. Cut aboard the star
destroyer. Somehow Kunou is aboard. He watches the ship disappear, and shakes his head.
He looks around, then at the captain, and walks silently over to him. Kunou grabs him by
the neck, and tosses him into the control pit. He then silently walks off the bridge.
Cut to the Rebel fleet. There are multiple capitol ships, being escorted by various
single-seat fighters. Cut aboard one of the ships. Ranma, Akane, Genma, and Soun 3PO are
standing in front of a large window. There is a ship-to-ship radio on.
Mousse: [via radio] Okay, you guys. You take care. We'll call you when we're at the
meeting point on Tantoein.
Ranma: Yeah. Thanks for your help. We never could have gotten away without you.
Akane: Yeah. I'm sorry I was so hard on you.
Mousse: Oh, that's all right. We'll see you later!
Chewtaro: Grrraaargr!
Akane giggles a little, and looks up at Ranma, suddenly noticing that she's leaning on
his arm. She quickly straightens up, and looks at Ranma disapprovingly. Genma and Soun
3PO are in the background, giving each other silent High fives. The Lost Boy pulls away
from the larger ship, and disappears into hyperspace. Cut outside the ship, and the
whole formation moves off. Suddenly we hear...
Ranma: Oh, you are SO uncute!
Akane: Oh, yeah?!?!
WHAP!!!! cut to black, and credits.
----------------------------
Glossary:
1. Mouko Takabisha: This translates to something like "Roaring tiger domineering
posture". I don't know much about this move, only that it is a Ki technique that fires a
large blast of energy from Ranma's hands.(Ex. Ranma used this move to destroy the
magical spring at the end of the second movie.)
2. Hiryushotenha: Translation: (rough... REALLY rough) "Rising Dragon Combination
Attack". Taught to Ranma by Cologne, (a character who doesn't appear in this
storyline... yet...) this move utilizes the anger of your opponent, mixed with the cool
of your own emotions to create a tornado that lifts and slams to the ground the
opponent.
3. Tenshin Amaguriken: Translation (again, Really rough) "Imperial roasting chestnuts
attack". Ranma learned this move from Cologne (sort of... It was more self taught than
anything). Ranma finally mastered this technique while trying to win a goldfish for a
small boy at the fair. The challenges escalated more and more, and eventually Ranma was
plucking pirhanna from the tank. (Ex. Ranma used this move to fire balls of water at
Kirin, who couldn't block them with his chopsticks at the end of the first movie.)
4. Happo Goen Satsu: Translation (I'm really not sure on this one...) Happo Five Yen
Energy Sapper. I've never actually seen Happosai do this move, but he taught it to Miss
Hinako, so I figure he knows it. The move works by sucking the fighting aura from the
target, rendering them incapacitated. (Ex. The only examples I know of are in the OAV
"Growing up with Miss Hinako", where Miss Hinako uses it.)
5. Bakusai ten Ketsu: Translation: "Blasting Point Hole" Ryouga learned this move from a
miner he met while lost in a mine. This move is done by finding a weak point in a rock,
and hitting it there. The resulting shock blew the rock apart explosively. (Ex. During
the Christmas episode (OAV #2), Ryouga and Kasumi were going for soy sauce. When they
got to a wall they weren't expecting, Ryouga got mad, saying "Where'd this stupid wall
come from?". He then used this move over and over, presumably making progress toward the
store)
6. Kedoken: Translates to something like "Hen's Egg Bomb". Mousse is known as "The
Master of Dark Magic", meaning he carries a LOT of concealed weapons. Examples include
knives, swords, scissors, Woks, ropes, darts, frisbees, statues, spiked balls, claws,
training potties, and the occasional rubber chicken. (Ex. Any attack Mousse makes.)