I keep trying to figure out how you can turn out such a high-quality
product in so short a time. :)
   This one didn't really click for me. I'm not sure why, either; I found
it well-written, with a decent plot and excellent emotional portrayal. The
little touches, like Ranma reverting to male form, were nicely handled and
thought out. Good craftmanship.
   But it didn't really move me. Dunno why.
   Worse, I'm afraid I can't offer much in the way of constructive
criticism. Sorry.
   I've been following the whole Ranma 2096/Akane's suicide argument with
interest. I admit to not being sure exactly which you felt was weak; the
fact that Akane would commit suicide, or the use of it as a plot device.
So I'm gonna offer a rebuttal to both. :)

On the fact that Akane would commit suicide - I too have doubts as to
whether or not Akane would kill herself. On the one hand, she has a rather
strong will, on the other, she's _very_ emotional, rash, rather insecure,
etc.
   But you, in the story, have answered the question for yourself. Akane
would. If Kasumi had been out of the house, or further away in the house,
or rocking out to the NIN cd she keeps hidden behind her bed ;), Akane's
suicide attempt would have suceeded. Or if, in Ranma 2096, she had been
seen jumping, fished out, and rushed to a hospital, she would have lived.
Same decision on her part, different circumstances.

On the use of it as a plot device - Well, we've established that Akane
would commit suicide, so it's certainly plausible. Should it have been
written in? Well, Chris needed a way to produce a ghost of Akane, and the
suicide motif is a strong one when dealing with ghosts. Akane's reasoning
behind it is dealt with in a sidestory, but as to the lack of detail in
part one....well, sometimes its a good idea to _hint_ at things, and let
the reader's hopefully active imagination do the rest. I, IMHO, felt it
worked well.

Anyway, quality work on your part. Congrats. Now gimme a happyfic. :)

- Mike of No Particular Title or Handle
===/\=====+==================================================================
  /  \    l   Mike Loader - Lincolnite, Amberite, Illuminatus, Discordian,
 / () \   l      Journalist, Author, Traveler, Historian, Java Fiend.
/      \  l        Trier - LA - LV - Kiev - Reno - Hong Kong. Fnord.
--------  l                    mloader@scs.unr.edu
==========+==================================================================